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Gosh, this woman is something. She has gone through so much in her life and yet, she is not bitter or broken. Her heart is made of gold. She gives love and shows kindness to everyone and everything she touches. The image of her as an angel, that Nate drew, flashes in my mind. I cannot help myself from smiling as I sit here, watching her dark brown eyes.
She shakes my hand. "Are you all right, Jon? I am sorry if I crossed the line by asking that question. You don't need to answer it if you don't want to." Her words shake me out of my trance. What did I miss? I had zoned out. God, I want to lose myself in those eyes. "Sorry. For a moment there, I got lost in my thoughts. What did you ask?"
Sharon hesitates before repeating her question. "What happened to Nate's mom? I read you went through a difficult divorce. I don't want to bring up bad memories. Forget I asked."
I consider her question for a moment. Should I let her into the dark chapter of my life? She let me in, so, it is only fair that I share my story.
"It was early days in my career. I was heady with all the attention. I met Valerie at one of the post-match parties. It was supposed to be a one-nighter. Despite precautions she got pregnant. It came as a shock. I had my doubts and at the time, I was not ready for a kid. My cousin suggested a paternity test, but I realized it was a bad idea. We got married."
"Seven months later, Nate was born. One glimpse of his blue eyes staring at me from inside the cloth wrapped around him, made me fall in love. Valerie did not want to raise our baby. She hired a nanny on the first day after coming home. She started her partying and late nights within a week. I was away most of the time due to football. She left the nanny to take care of feeding Nate. I hated her behavior. We had a lot of arguments."
"One day, I came home from a match. Valerie was not there, as usual. The nanny handed me a letter. Valerie wanted a divorce—she had moved out, leaving Nate and me. It broke me, Nate was only five months old."
I pause for breath and rub my face with my palms, trying to hide the pain from Sharon. For the past five years, I have hidden this part of my life, but Sharon has broken through these walls.
"Jon, stop. I don't want you to relive those memories." She leans forward and holds my hands. The softness and concern in her eyes tell me she cares for me. Her moist eyes show she understands my pain. Not out of sympathy, but from compassion. I squeeze her hands. We stay staring for a while before her soft voice awakens me. "It must have been difficult raising such a small child with all your travel and practice."
I nod, "Yeah, it was difficult. However, Mom and Emily chipped in. It is more difficult now as he misses me."
"Have you told him about Valerie?"
I squeeze her hands. "He used to ask when he started school, wondering why other kids had both parents. I have kept it simple so far, but at some stage, I will need to explain why his mother does not want anything to do with him. It makes me sick."
"You are a great father, Jon. You are doing an excellent job. Nate is a wonderful child. I am sure he will understand."
When I look up from our hands, she is staring at me. God, if this was not a public place I would have pulled her in my arms and kissed those lips. I want to say so many things. Tell her about my feelings. Speak to her about Nate and how he adores her. I do not get the chance.
The moment is lost in searching the right words. Life plays such cruel jokes at times. When I am alone, I can end up writing a book about my feelings. When she is in front of me, my mind freezes.
Her pager buzzes. She gets up, startled.
"Sorry, I need to go. Lost track of time."
I nod, "Sorry, I am intruding on your time. We will meet tomorrow."
"No need to apologize. I enjoyed my time with you. See you tomorrow," She waves her hand.
"Sharon, thank you for giving me another chance." She nods, her cheeks flushed. I pull her towards myself but she keeps her distance. She smiles before walking away.
The yearning returns. Despite spending an hour with her, I am thirsty. The itch to run and gather her in my arms is strong. Bad idea, boy. Yeah, that will make her run away faster in the opposite direction.
Give her space, man, and appreciate the progress you made today, sharing a part of each other's lives. It is a slow start, with the promise of greater things to come. The ball is in play and there is no goddamn baller this side of the coast who can keep it rolling as I do.