From the Fan Fiction Unbound Archive,
posted by conTessaofthecastle:
Outside, rain continued to fall. They huddled together in the small cave. It had been pouring for hours. “Aren’t you tired of this?” asked Daphne.
Astoria leaned up against her, fiddling with a bit of twine in her hands. She was braiding and knotting what appeared to be a bracelet or an anklet. “No,” she said simply, and Daphne was surprised by how calm her voice was. “I didn’t like being out in the rain. But this is fine. It’s better than being at home, fearing for my safety from Lord Quintana and his minions.”
Lightning struck a tree nearby.
Soph.
I’m pissed off by the injustice here. Yin and Chris want to punish Orly and say that she’s not really a girl. They keep talking about “safety,” but that’s bullshit, like my mother’s constant warnings. I don’t get Tess either. I don’t think she likes what Yin and Chris are doing, but she doesn’t care enough to say anything. Total buzzkill on the alcohol, but she is right about the chaperones; I go down for hot chocolate and cookies and to find Orly or Gabriela, but neither of them is there and I don’t see Professor Forsythe so I don’t stay. I can’t be bothered to talk to Grace.
When I go back to the room, Tess is asleep, or pretending to be. I text my friends,
[From Soph to Gordon, Lally, and Mibs] Transphobes in NH 2night!
[From Lally to Gordon, Mibs, and Soph] What’s up?
[From Soph to Gordon, Lally, and Mibs] One of us is trans. These people R freaking.
[From Mibs to Gordon, Lally, and Soph] WTF?
[From Soph to Gordon, Lally, and Mibs] I know, right? Tiny minds.
[From Gordon to Lally, Mibs, and Soph] Wuts she like?
[From Soph to Gordon, Lally, and Mibs] She’s nice! She wants to be here like everyone else.
[From Lally to Gordon, Mibs, and Soph] R U going to do anything?
[From Soph to Gordon, Lally, and Mibs] I don’t know. I don’t want to make a bigger deal out of it.
[From Mibs to Gordon, Lally, and Soph] You have to stick up for her.
This is why we all love Mibs. She’s all peace and social justice, like her uncle.
[From Lally to Gordon, Mibs, and Soph] What are they doing 2 her?
I think about it.
[From Soph to Gordon, Lally, and Mibs] Talking about her behind her back so far. But she knows.
Mibs is smart about these things.
[From Mibs to Gordon, Lally, and Soph] Tell them to stop. If you like her, hang out.
She’s right. If I make a big deal about it, it might be worse for Orly. Maybe it will blow over.
[From Soph to Gordon, Lally, and Mibs] Thx. Later.
I struggle to fall asleep. I thought this week was going to be fun and help me get into college at the same time. But I didn’t count on being assigned to the wrong instructor or Professor Forsythe not liking me. I figured people would be too cool to split over something like the thing with Orly. Now I’m stuck with a roommate who’s so timid she will barely say her own name and I may have to leave the whole week out of my Common App.
Tess.
The next morning while we’re dressing, Soph and I are that kind of stiff-polite people get when they’re both mad but trying not to show it. I finally get a text back from Joey.
[From Joey to Tess] Stay safe.
It makes me feel better. Soph notices me on my phone and asks, “Boyfriend again?” I nod, silently. I notice she’s still wearing my socks when we go to breakfast. Her ruined boots are lying in the corner of the room.
We spend the morning doing individual work and meeting with our assigned instructors. Professor Forsythe pulls me aside to ask if I thought about what she said yesterday, and I tell her I have, but that I don’t really know how to do it. I think she might hear the frustration in my voice, because she’s friendlier.
“Tess, the committee thought the chapter you submitted with your application was very good. I don’t watch the television show, but the dialogue you drafted gave a strong sense of the characters. We thought the substance showed promise as well. When I say that I want to see more of you in there, I mean to encourage someone who has an interesting life to write about it. I’d like to know her better through her fiction.”
“Thank you,” I mumble. Then I catch myself and stand up straight. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I also think you are building something here, but you haven’t figured out where it will go. If you concentrate on what you know best about yourself, you’ll find it. Trust me.”
There’s no way I’m going to share any details of my “interesting life” on a dairy farm, but we talk about the show and how the season is shaping up. I feel funny talking to an adult about fictional characters on TV as if they’re real people. When I say that to her, Professor Forsythe says, “Just because they’re fictional doesn’t mean they aren’t important. Let’s think of fictional characters we’ve both read.”
We come up with Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird and Celie from The Color Purple.
“You see, Tess, these fictional characters with problems, weaknesses, and bad habits, they teach us a lot, and we can think about what they would do when we struggle to solve our own problems. They can be as real as you and I. Harper Lee and Alice Walker would both tell you that they put parts of themselves into those characters. Readers and fans don’t want their characters to be perfect. The writing makes them real, because the writers know who they are. Daphne and Astoria are young women—such as yourself. You want to put them in situations where they learn to use the powers that you think they have but haven’t accessed. You have powers like that too, don’t you think?”
I don’t think I have any power, and I’m definitely not Alice Walker. But I feel better about Professor Forsythe. She’s strict, but she must be a good teacher. I’m glad she doesn’t think my writing is worthless. I’m still not exactly sure how my story is going to end, but I sketch out a couple of ideas and figure if I keep writing, something will make sense. One thing I do know: I don’t have to post anything I write here if I don’t like it. I’m still anonymous online.
Before I leave the session, I ask something I’ve been wondering about. “Is it true that you’ll meet with us privately? Not just in the group sessions?”
She cocks her head as though she doesn’t understand my question. “Tess, this is what this conference is for. To give everyone a chance not only to work with their peers, but to seek out extra guidance when they need it. We’re all here because we’re teachers, and we know students learn in different ways. Sometimes people are more comfortable sharing things one-on-one.”
“I didn’t know we could do that.”
“If you always wait for permission, you will miss out on many things in life,” she says, but she’s smiling at me as I leave.
* * *
From Soph Alcazar’s Writing Journal,
February 13, 2018
A week in a place with people unfair.
I cannot understand why they don’t care.