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The warm, soft thoughts and feelings I had the night before had turned into cold, sharp recriminations as I peeled myself off my bed the next morning. What in the hell had I been thinking? Not only did I sleep with the boss’s daughter, I took her virginity. Not to mention the fact that I am fifteen years older than her.
I mentally berated myself as I stood beneath the scalding hot shower, trying to wash my guilt away. I couldn’t even blame Amanda for what I did. Sure, she initiated it by inviting me to her house. But I agreed. I asked her for her address and then I showed up with pizza and wine. I initiated the kiss.
She is an adult. She is old enough to make her own decisions, regardless of who her father is.
These thoughts did little to comfort me. Of course she was old enough. However, her father sure wouldn’t see it that way. He would see that someone he trusted to help his daughter betrayed his trust by helping himself to his daughter.
I had worked at that company for years. One night of sweet passion in exchange for years of blood, sweat, and tears. All of it would be lost if dear old daddy found out that I bedded his innocent daughter.
It didn’t matter that it had been more than just sex with her. I hadn’t lied when I said that it was a spiritual connection as much as a physical one. There was something about Amanda that spoke to my soul. Something was familiar about her, as though we had been lovers in a past life.
These thoughts paraded through my mind as I drove to work. By the time I arrived, the contradicting thoughts had twisted around me like the red and white colors of a candy cane.
I ducked into the bathroom, sure that I would see my shirt twisted up around me and my face covered in sweat and wrinkles. However, after careful inspection, it seemed that I looked exactly the same as I always had.
Amanda was sitting at her desk when I passed by. She looked at me, and a rosy bloom spread across her face. Her shy smile told me that she was insecure about herself and her place with me. My heart melted at the look on her face.
I smiled back as a shiver traveled down my spine and to every nerve in me. I couldn’t help it, even if I wanted to. Something drew me to her like a magnet. A sense of peace and happiness engulfed me as though she had waved a magic wand and sent a spell to ease my fears.
The look on her face transformed from one of uncertainty to one of relief. She was a grown, intelligent, smart woman, but was a girl inside.
I had always prided myself on my work and my work ethic. But today, I found it nearly impossible to concentrate. My brain and my body betrayed me. Thoughts of Amanda consumed me.
I would actually be in the middle of creating a line or typing in a comment and would stop in the middle of a keystroke. The image of her smile or flash in her eyes would appear, and I got lost in those visions.
By noon, I had only accomplished half as much as I had wanted to by that time. I decided I needed to walk in the fresh air to clear my mind. As though my thoughts were stalking me, Amanda and her father stepped out right behind me.
“Thomas. Why don’t you come to lunch with Amanda and me?”
The thought of being with Amanda and her father sent a sense of dread into my stomach. “No, thanks. I’m just going to go for a quick walk and get back to work.”
“All right then. We’ll see you later.”
I had to deal with my feelings regarding Amanda before I could face being in the company of her and her father. I was positive that if I sat with them, I would not be able to hide my feelings from Mr. Conners.
I also needed time to figure out what my feelings were. Obviously, I was attracted to her. I only met her yesterday, so I couldn’t be in love with her. Yet it wasn’t just my body that was tied to her.
There was no denying that she was beautiful. She was also warm and sweet. She was intelligent and had a witty sense of humor that I loved. To be honest, she encompassed everything I had ever dreamed about in a woman.
I reminded myself that I had just met her yesterday and I didn’t know all there was to know about her. She could not have shown me all of the different sides of Amanda in a twenty-four-hour period.
It seemed that walking had done me no good. I still hadn’t figured anything out. I didn’t know what I was going to do about my feelings. I didn’t even know what my feelings were.
Frustrated, I headed back to my desk hoping to catch up on some work that I hadn’t accomplished that morning.
I had actually gotten quite a ways into a project when one of the other engineers came up behind me.
“Thomas, do you want to go have a couple of beers tonight with me and the other guys and watch the game?
It was a temptation, because it would keep me away from Amanda. However, I knew I would just sit there and think about her. I would go absolutely insane.
Ted’s invitation took me out of my groove. Once again, I found it almost impossible to concentrate on my work. Time crept by. Every time I looked at my watch, it seemed that only five minutes had passed. I felt like a caged tiger.
I was finally able to get a couple of things accomplished. When I shut down my computer and started to head out, I noticed that practically everyone else had already gone home, including Amanda.
I fully intended to drive home. I planned to throw a pot pie in the oven, have a beer, and take a long cold shower before going to bed alone. However, my car seemed to have developed a mind of its own, and before long I found myself parked outside of Amanda’s apartment.
Invisible fingers pulled me to her door, and the next thing I knew I was knocking; half hoping that she wasn’t there, but at the same time needing to see her.
Soft footsteps padded across the room. There was a short pause as she peered through the eyehole to see who was outside her door. It seemed to take forever as she jingled the various locks to let me in.
“Were you expecting the bogeyman?” I asked her as I eyed the three locks on her door.
She gave a cheerful laugh that sounded a little nervous. “A single girl living alone can never be too careful, regardless of what kind of neighborhood she lives in.”
“That makes sense.”
The first minute or so was a little uncomfortable. The awkwardness was broken by the sound of a growling bear coming from her stomach.
We both laughed and I suggested that we order some Chinese food. Since a restaurant was only down the street from her, it did not take long for the food to arrive. She dug in with gusto.
When she saw me watching her eat, she laughed. “I’ve always enjoyed my food. Plus, I have to maintain my energy so I can keep up with you men at the office.”
“I admire a woman who is not afraid to eat. I’ve always wondered at the women who just pick at their food when there’s a man around. Do they go home and binge after that?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had bird women friends. All of my friends can put away as much food as a professional football player. We just make sure to hit the gym and go running together.”
We sat and chit chatted like we were old friends. It was as though we had known each other for years.
She sat close to me while we talked, and I smiled to myself when I saw her moving closer and closer to me until she was able to lay her head on my shoulder. It felt very natural to put my arm around her, holding her close to me.
To be honest, just being with her felt completely natural. It seemed as though we belonged together. I reminded myself that I had not known her very long. Yet while my brain continued this monotonous reminder, my soul said that I had known her for an eternity.
There were a couple of silences during the evening, but they were comfortable. I felt completely at ease in the quiet of the night, listening to the sound of the wind rustling through the tree leaves brushing against her windows.
She lifted her head from my shoulders at one point, and I caught her studying me intently during one of those silences.
“You are an incredible man,” she said. “You are so sexy. You are smart, funny, and so gentle. Why hasn’t some woman snatched you up?”
I had to think about my answer. “I’ve had relationships with other women. None of them were ever serious, though. I guess I never found that special one. I’ve always wanted a woman who was smart, sweet, and strong.”
She nodded. I could see the gears turning in her head as she contemplated what I was thinking. Then, a smile spread across her face. “I’m smart, sweet, and strong.”
Her smile was contagious, and I grinned back at her. “Yes, you are.”
I leaned over and kissed her. It was what I had needed all night long. It seemed that she also needed the kiss, as she sighed and leaned into it.
My entire body responded to her soft lips pressed against mine and her tongue dancing in my mouth. I wanted her. I knew that I should just go home. I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. My heart overruled my mind.
The feeling of her lips against mine ignited fires in me that I never knew existed. Sure, as a man, I had certainly experienced the physical needs that all men encounter. There had even been women who I had been emotionally involved with. But I had never found someone who I had been spiritually connected to, as well as physically and emotionally. This was new, exciting, confusing, and terrifying all at the same time.
Never before had I experienced a kiss that was so powerful. Normally, a kiss carried intimate meaning. It created a special bond between two people. Yet this kiss had even more meaning than that. This kiss conveyed unspoken feelings that neither of us was quite ready to address yet, even with ourselves. The kiss spoke of promises between our souls that our minds had not yet registered.
When the kiss ended, I studied her face. Her blue eyes mirrored the emotions that flooded me.
I stood up and held out my hand. She grasped it and I lead the way to her bedroom. I kicked the door shut, held her face with both of my hands, and devoured her mouth, making love to her with my lips. I couldn’t get enough of her.
She groaned against my mouth and slid her hands under my shirt. Her fingers kneaded my chest, and I felt my cock grow hard in my pants, pressing painfully against the fabric.
“Baby, I need to feel your touch,” I whispered.
I guided her hand down to feel my hard shaft, rubbing her hand against it.
“Step back for me, sweetheart. Slowly take your clothes off.” I sat in the chair that was in the corner of the room while she did as I instructed.
She became very shy and started to cross her arms over her chest.
“No, let me look at your beauty.”
She put her arms down to her sides as though she were fighting to keep them there.
“Come to me,” I ordered softly.
Amanda took several steps over to me.
“Straddle me,” I said.
She did as she was told. I squeezed her breasts and pulled her face close to mine.
“Show me what you need.”
The kiss was heated from the second our lips touched. She pressed her mouth hard against mine, and thrust her tongue inside my mouth. She tickled the roof of my mouth with her tongue.
A moan escaped from me. She wrapped her tongue around mine, caressing it, touching it. Then, she gently bit my tongue and sucked on the tip of it.
I was pretty certain that I was going to bust out of my pants if my cock wasn’t released soon.
“All right, my love. Are you ready for your next lesson?” I asked her.
She nodded, the fire in her eyes telling me everything I needed to know.
