Before I know it, I’m pushing through the front doors and running down the cobblestone drive, hopping into my waiting car. “Home, please! Quickly.”
We speed through the night, my fingers tapping anxiously on the handle of the door. Eventually I reach up and pull the pins out of my bun, letting my hair cascade down over my shoulders. The whole time all I can think is all these years, all this time, pretending to be someone else, there was still someone who always saw me, the real me, even when I couldn’t.
And even after the last twelve days, I just chose all this over her. Again.
The winding drive to my house feels never-ending. It feels like hours later that I finally see the glow of the front porch light.
I hop out of the car, heart pounding, and push inside, calling out her name into the foyer. “Caroline?”
I kick my heels off and run upstairs, then down the hallway, before finally bursting into the guest room.
The empty guest room.
I flick on the light to see the bed carefully made. The only signs she was here at all are the dress she was wearing lying neatly across it and a Barnwich postcard she bought in town the day we kissed centered on top of it.
“She’s gone,” a voice says from behind me, and I turn around to find Lillian leaning in the doorway.
“What? How? I was just with her an hour ago,” I reply.
“She doesn’t belong here. And you don’t belong there. Arden, I did you a favor, sweetie.”
A favor?
I walk toward her, my hand curling into a fist at my side.
“What did you do?” I ask.
“I got her on a flight ASAP before she could change her mind.” She shrugs, a smug smile spreading across her face. “Don’t worry, we’ll let the article go live so your little friend can get something out of all this.”
Little friend?
Lillian places a hand on each of my shoulders.
“Now you can focus on what’s really important. This movie. Then awards. Ads. Who knows what else?” Her eyes light up at the thought of it all. “Now, come on. I’ll call Jenna to come fix your makeup so we can get you back to that party. Maybe you’ll even find a girl to make you forget about all this.” She waves her fingers around vaguely, but the thought of that makes me feel nauseous.
I shake my head, finally able to fully see the truth.
“When I was sixteen and got emancipated, I put all my trust in you, Lillian. I actually thought you were taking care of me this whole time, looking out for me like my parents never did, but now I can see it clearly. You’ve never been any better than them. I’ve spent these last twelve days being reminded of what it’s like to have people actually care about me. And I’m not going to give them up. Not for fame or money…” I take another step until we’re face-to-face. “And especially not for you.”
“Okay. You can kill the dramatics, sweetie.”
“You’re fired.” I take another step toward her, making her step back into the hallway. “Get out of my house.”
She stands there with her jaw practically on the floor. For once, there isn’t a single word coming out of her mouth. She stalks angrily toward the hallway.
“Oh, and, Lil?” I say. She turns to look back at me with a smugness like she knew I wouldn’t really fire her. “Feel free to grab a cold-pressed juice on your way out. Sweetie,” I add, before shutting the bedroom door in her face.
I step backward until my calves knock into the bed frame, then fall back on top of Caroline’s dress. I reach behind my back and grab the postcard. A map of Barnwich. The familiar roads. Edie’s Eatery. Home.
Tears fill my eyes as I hold it to my heart, alone in this big, empty house once again, wondering how I convinced myself that loving her could’ve ever been fake.