The challenges of a self-sufficient lifestyle can become overwhelming, especially if you are trying to do it alone, or even with just your family. Gardening, raising animals, preparing and preserving food, maintaining your energy-producing systems, and perhaps selling your produce or crafts all take a great deal of time and energy. Some people find that living together with a group of other like-minded individuals or families can ease these burdens and offer many additional benefits.
Intentional communities are groups of people who choose to live together because of common ideals, spirituality, or political views, or simply to accomplish a common purpose. Intentional communities differ in purpose, legal structure, location, financial resources, and demographics. Ecovillages in particular focus on creating self-sufficient, sustainable lifestyles, while other communities may exist to support families with mentally disabled children, or to intensify a particular spiritual walk. In some cases all the members live and work within the community, possibly even pooling all financial resources. In other cases, people may hold regular outside jobs and contribute to the community life in the evenings or on weekends. Remember, when considering location, to consider the zoning laws in that area and how they relate to your vision. Some places may have restrictions on the number of people who can live in a particular area, whether you can subdivide a property, or whether you can have a business there. Whether the intentional community shares a city apartment building or an organic farm, whether they’re a group of artists or yogis, the goal is to create an environment where the common goal can more likely be achieved.
Many intentional communities fail, mainly due to financial constraints or interpersonal conflict. If you are interested in starting an intentional community, there are several things you should do to set a firm foundation for your endeavors.
1. Create a clear vision. Know specifically why you want to form a community and put it in writing. First, dream of what your “utopia” would be, and then outline clear, realistic goals to move toward that environment. No community is perfect, but you should at least know what perfection would look like for you, and have ideas of how you can come closer to that vision. Giving your community a name can help to create a clearer identity and make it easier to explain to others.
2. Determine how people can become members and what members’ roles will be. At first, this may be as simple as getting a few friends excited about the community and asking them to join. However, the most successful communities are generally those that take the time to consider what kind of people should become members, and how they’ll be involved. You may want someone to keep records, someone to run meetings, and someone to oversee the chores. Or maybe everyone will share all the responsibilities. Be very clear about what sort of time, financial, or even emotional commitment is expected of members. An application process can be helpful in determining who becomes a member.
3. Figure out finances. You may need a substantial amount of money to buy land, rent an apartment, or otherwise prepare a location for your community. Determine how much your startup costs will be and where that money will come from. Then decide how members will contribute financially to the community (whether they’ll pay monthly dues, or share a percentage of their income, etc). Some communities are almost entirely self-sustaining, but you’ll likely at least need money for taxes or rent.
4. Lay down the law. It’s important to determine early on how decisions within the community will be made— who can vote on group decisions, whether decisions must be unanimous or whether the majority rules, and so on. Generally, the more that people are involved in decisions that will affect the community, the less conflict and resentment there will be. Be sure to write these bylaws down.
5. Be honest and open. Don’t try to hide anything from members, potential members, or those outside your intentional community. Doing so will only create problems, build tension, and threaten your vision. If there’s a financial problem, share it with the other members. If your vision for the community begins to shift, talk about it. Being genuine and communicating freely with those within and around your community may be the biggest factor in your success.
• Even with the best planning and preparation, once your community is up and running, you are bound to run into interpersonal conflict. Personalities may clash, or practical problems such as a noisy dog, an unruly child, or a lazy worker will pop up. Expect problems to arise, and you won’t feel so overwhelmed when they actually do. Here are a few tips for dealing with interpersonal conflict:
• When a disagreement between community members arises, determine whether the conflict is about the facts pertaining to a situation, or how they feel about the facts. If they are disagreeing about the facts, some research or questioning of other members may be helpful. If, however, they agree on the facts but are reacting differently to them, simply helping them to communicate their feelings adequately may be enough to settle the dispute.
• When a member feels very strongly about an issue, ask that person why she feels the way she does. Understanding each member’s underlying values, beliefs, and assumptions will help to create harmony within the group.
• Play devil’s advocate. Agree to argue the opposite side of a dispute for 15 minutes, and see if you discover some validity in the other person’s argument.
• Stop discussions before they become explosions. If an argument is getting too heated, call a time out. Return to the discussion after 15 minutes, or once emotions have settled.
• Practice active listening. Listen to what someone has said, paraphrase it back to them, and ask relevant questions. This will facilitate clearer and deeper communication.
• Understand that everyone has a different way of perceiving and navigating the world. Another’s worldview may seem threatening at first, but if you take the time to understand it, you may find your own worldview sharpened.
• Know when to let go. Some conflicts need immediate resolution, and some do not. In some cases, it’s best to give the issue a rest and revisit it in a week or a month. By then circumstances or perceptions may have shifted.
