They arrived a short time later at Sailor’s Retreat on Pacific Coast Highway. Through a gap between buildings, Alli could see Serene Harbor, where a scattering of sailboats cruised through the dusk toward their moorings.
As she inhaled the salt air, her spirits lifted. She hadn’t been kidding about the confusion in her brain.
Visiting the doctor’s office with Kevin had proven an unsettling experience. Never having paid much attention to babies before, she’d been surprised by her reaction to the scrapbook. Suddenly, they’d become more than cute little figures. Through their parents’ eyes, she’d seen them as real people bursting with dreams and discoveries.
She’d experienced the wonder of a baby learning to talk—a little girl discovering the joy of books on her mother’s lap—a boy attending a baseball game with his father. She’d glimpsed how it might feel to share the magic of parenthood.
Had this happened because she was playing the role of would-be mother? Or had the presence of a virile male in the guise of her pretend husband stimulated some previously inactive hormonal instinct?
Her turbulent thoughts made Alli uncomfortable. She wanted to put them behind her and become her happily child-free self again.
A bit of physical exertion on the dance floor should do the trick. And if her brief flirtation with Kevin in the kitchen was any sign, it might activate some other urges that would completely take her mind off babies.
“Would you care for a table on the deck?” asked the hostess, arriving with a couple of menus beneath her arm. The tables appeared to be solidly filled, Alli realized.
“We were planning on dancing,” she said.
“The band doesn’t start for forty-five minutes,” the hostess explained. “There’s no one out there and you’ll be able to hear the music when it starts. But you can wait for a seat in here if you prefer.”
Alli glanced at Kevin. “Is outside okay with you?”
“Sure,” he answered. “I’d rather not have to wait.”
And it might be romantic, Alli thought. She decided not to say so.
When they emerged onto a wooden terrace, her soul expanded to greet the vista. Overhead, magenta and cobalt streaked the darkening sky. Across the bay, on a curving spit of land, house lights pricked the deep blue.
“What a stunning view.” She pulled on her wrap, glad that she’d brought it.
“I’ll send a waitress right out.” Leaving their menus, the hostess departed.
“I forgot how refreshing it is to break my routine,” Kevin admitted.
“Me, too,” Alli said.
“I can’t see you ever landing in a rut. You’re too spontaneous.”
“Spontaneity can be a rut in its own way,” she admitted.
“How’s that?” Opposite her, an overhanging lamp bathed Kevin in its glow.
She remembered their previous conversation about her father. “It can become an excuse for running away.”
“From men?”
“Or from myself.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I said that.”
“Which part of yourself are you running from?” he pursued.
The part that wanted to drown in his dark gaze, Alli mused. The part that wanted to lean into his shoulder and dream about having babies with him. The part that longed for someone she could depend on.
Until, at some level, he let her down.
She knew Kevin wasn’t a jerk like her father. He would never disappear and leave his wife and child to fend for themselves. But there was more than one way to abandon a person.
Kevin maintained a shield around him that he only lowered for brief spans. In those moments, she glimpsed a warmth and kindness that almost beguiled her into hoping for more.
But he’d made it clear he had no desire to give her any more. She’d be a fool, and unfair, to expect it. The better she got to know Kevin, the more she understood that he was fundamentally a loner.
It was the fatal flaw that precluded any future they might make together. If someday Alli loved a man without reservation, the little girl inside had to know he would always be there for her.
Maybe she was foolish to think she even wanted to trust a guy that much. In many ways, she was a loner, too.
He’d asked what she was running away from, she remembered. “At the moment, I’m running from impending starvation.” She flipped open the menu and examined the column of specials. “I’ll have the ginger-grilled mahimahi. I’m paying for my own meal, by the way.”
“That’s not necessary. I’m treating,” Kevin said.
“No, thanks. Dining out was my suggestion. If I weren’t unemployed, I’d pay for yours, too.”
“Generous of you to say so.” He watched her with a mischievous expression.
She chuckled. “I know. Isn’t it nice the way I made that offer so I don’t have to actually do it?”
His face crinkled with shared amusement. And something more—something close to tenderness.
Whatever was going on tonight had to be the result of the moon rising over the bay and the sound of water lapping against the deck, Alli thought. They sat cocooned in a private world.
She realized she’d been with Kevin for almost three solid days. She couldn’t remember spending this much time in proximity to a guy. Maybe she ought to be tired of him by now, but she wasn’t.
A waitress came out to take their drink order. Since they were both hungry, they ordered their dinners as well.
After she left, Kevin said, “Are we allowed to discuss our investigation or does that run counter to your method of clearing the mind?”
Alli glanced at her watch. “We can review our impressions for about five minutes. Then we have to stop and let everything sink in.”
“That makes sense to me, weird as it is. Which means that you’re either smarter than I gave you credit for, or I’m losing my grip.”
“It means you’re loosening up,” she said. “You’re lucky I don’t charge for the therapy.”
From a distance, she heard the faint pulse of recorded music and pinpointed the source as a yacht at anchor. Lights blazed and Alli saw figures moving on deck. Apparently she wasn’t the only one interested in dancing tonight.
Kevin’s gaze flicked toward the yacht and returned to her. “So what did you make of Dr. Graybar?”
“I don’t believe he’s blackmailing the patients. Even though he may have financial problems, I can’t picture him taking such a crude approach.”
“Neither can I,” Kevin agreed. “He’d have been better off declaring bankruptcy.”
“Unless he owes money to a mobster,” she noted.
“I’d believe almost anything about Klaus LeMott,” he said. “But why loan somebody a huge sum and then try to recoup it by breaking the law? If my guess is right, that loan approached a million dollars. At twenty thousand a pop, he’d have to rip off a huge number of families just to break even. He’s too smart to do that.”
“Looks like we’ve hit a dead end,” Alli concluded.
The waitress brought their drinks and salads. As they ate, sharing a comfortable silence, darkness fell. No other couples joined them on the deck, so they had the night and the bay to themselves.
When Kevin’s leg brushed hers beneath the table, Alli gave it a playful rub before shifting her ankle away. His edgy smile made her breath catch.
“Playing with fire?” he asked.
“Testing your self-control,” she retorted.
“What about your self-control?”
“I don’t have any.”
He regarded her skeptically. “I’m beginning to suspect you can muster plenty of self-control when you need to.”
He was right on that score. Alli liked to come across as a free spirit, but in reality she had a fierce survival instinct.
“Let’s talk about something else, something we never get a chance to discuss because we’re so busy running around,” she suggested. “What’s your favorite kind of movie?”
“Action adventure,” he said. “And science fiction. How about you?”
“Thrillers with a love story where the heroine’s as smart as the hero.” Honesty forced her to add, “And romantic comedies with gloriously happy endings.”
“As long as they’re really funny?” he put in.
“Yes. And original and surprising.”
They began naming specific films and debated their merits. By the time they had moved on to music, dinner arrived. Her mahimahi tasted as good as it looked.
“I’d better hurry and find another job so I can afford to eat this way more often,” Alli said.
“What’s your ideal position?” Kevin asked. “Have you ever considered television news? You’ve got the looks for it.” He spoke so matter-of-factly it almost didn’t sound like a compliment.
Alli knew her height and bone structure suited the camera, so she didn’t bother to protest. She’d never considered newscasting as a profession, however.
“TV news is about creating an image, writing snappy sound bites and filling up airtime. While there are some terrific correspondents, mostly you have to make mountains out of molehills to compete with the other earnest talking heads,” she said. “The money’s great, but the work would suck the soul out of me.”
“What do you like about reporting?” he said. “I mean, other than righting the wrongs of the world. Is it a power trip? An adventure?”
“I enjoy listening to people and figuring out what makes them tick.” She thought for a beat before adding, “And, truthfully, I get an adrenaline rush when I’m on the trail of something hot. Plus, organizing a story presents a real challenge. I enjoy the writing for its own sake.”
“Don’t you want to be rich and famous?” Kevin murmured with a trace of irony.
Alli rested her chin on her palm. “I used to want to work for a big-city paper where I could see my name in lights, so to speak, but I’m not sure that would appeal to me anymore.”
“You always struck me as ambitious,” he said.
“I was,” Alli agreed.
“What changed?”
“I got fired.”
“You mean on Thursday?”
She nodded. “It’s made me take another look at who I am. You know what? I care about this community. I love the way people call and e-mail, and talk as if they know me because they’ve read my writing for so long. I like being able to cover little stuff as well as big stuff, to meet merchants with offbeat shops and students who win awards. For a while, I get to be part of their lives.”
Alli hadn’t understood the depth of her feelings until she described them to Kevin. But this was who she’d become, a member of a community, which made it even more painful that a newcomer like J.J. had cast her out.
“It’s like you’re part of a family,” Kevin summarized. “I never thought about a reporter that way but I can see that it’s true, in your case at least.”
“J.J. hasn’t been in Serene Beach long enough to understand,” she said. “I’m not sure he’s been at any paper long enough. He’s famous for arriving, spending a couple of years reshaping the package, and then moving on.”
“Any chance of him changing his mind?” Kevin asked. “I know you’ve said he buys into that kid’s flashy persona, but surely he’s got to recognize the truth sooner or later.”
“Unfortunately, it may be much later.” Alli thought about Payne’s talent for insinuating himself into the editors’ good graces. On the other hand, nobody got lucky forever. “I’m not giving up, but if this adoption story doesn’t do the trick, I’ll have to regroup.”
“It’s hard to regroup alone,” he said.
Dance music pulsated from within the restaurant as the band got off to a rocking start. Enough serious talk, Alli decided. “I’m not alone,” she said. “I’m with you and I intend to take advantage of it.”
He grinned. “You’re going to take advantage of me? Can I help?”
Standing up, she reached for his hand. “Come on, big guy.”
“I haven’t had my dessert yet.” He grinned, but he rose obediently to his feet. “You’re a slave driver.”
She rested her arms atop his shoulders and regarded him directly. “Dance with me, handsome.”
His hands closed around her waist. “I’d rather do this first.” His mouth found hers with a heat and moisture full of promise.
Alli couldn’t resist the pleasure spreading within her. Through Kevin’s coat and slacks, her body traced the bulge of muscles as her tongue played a taunting game with his. Her core tightened with desire as his hand gripped her derriere, bringing her close enough to tease his arousal.
The scrape of the door restored her to reality. “I can come back later,” said the waitress, who’d brought two pieces of strawberry pie.
“You’ll leave those here, if you know what’s good for you,” Kevin growled, stepping away but holding on to Alli’s arm.
“Yes, sir!” Smiling, the waitress scooted the plates onto their table and made her escape.
“You don’t have a romantic bone in your body,” Alli challenged as the door swung shut. “You could at least try to act as if you preferred me to the pie.”
“I didn’t drop you on the ground and lunge for it, did I?” he said. “Can I help it if I have a typical guy reaction to dessert?”
“Besides which, you figure we can always continue this later, right?”
His dark eyes glinted with humor. “I’ve been around women long enough to know that if I said any such thing, my life would be forfeit.”
“Not your life, but possibly the use of your limbs.” Much as Alli hated to back down, however, the scent of glazed strawberries was hard to resist. “I suppose I ought to give in just to be a good sport.”
“You think I didn’t notice you sniffing the breeze?” Kevin retorted.
Their eyes met. By unspoken mutual consent, they bolted to their seats and dug into the strawberries.
In no time, the pie disappeared. Then, hearing the band in full swing, they headed for the dance floor.
Alli missed the excitement of their kiss, but this was, after all, a semipublic place. Besides, she’d already assessed the danger of getting involved with Kevin and decided it didn’t merit the risk, no matter how appealing he seemed.
As they entered, the music shifted to a slower piece. Alli had been looking forward to a workout, but when her companion held out his arms, she nestled into them with a sense of belonging.
Kevin’s gentle strength surrounded her. Closing her eyes, she buried her face in his neck and let the song carry them once again into their private world.
The two of them moved with an instinctive rapport. I like this man, she thought as he whirled her between two other couples.
She liked the way he hummed along with the music, sending a vibration rumbling into her. She liked the way they could relax and put their joking manners aside. She liked his scent—civilized and elegant with a hint of musk.
She knew it was risky to think about Kevin this way. But if you never took chances, what was the fun of living?
“Hey! Wow! Imagine running into you two!” exclaimed a male voice.
Go away, she thought fiercely.
“Hello. Harry, isn’t it?” Kevin responded with forced politeness.
“Larry,” corrected the newcomer. “You know Adrienne, don’t you?”
“For years.”
Larry had a date with Adrienne? Matters were certainly progressing. Alli raised her head.
Two perky faces regarded her, Larry’s freckled and friendly, his date’s cheerful and inquisitive. Although she was pleased to see them together, Alli wished he hadn’t picked such an inconvenient moment to show up.
There might still be hope. “Great to see you both,” she said. “We wouldn’t dream of interrupting your date.”
“No problem!” Adrienne sang out.
“I’ve got a lot to tell you.” It didn’t seem to occur to Larry that standing in the middle of the floor forced other dancers to dodge around them. “Where are you sitting?”
With a sinking feeling, Alli muttered, “Outside.”
“Great idea!” Larry waved toward one of the indoor tables. “We’ll retrieve our drinks and join you.”
After they had moved out of earshot, she whispered, “I don’t suppose there’s any subtle way to get rid of them.”
“Not one that comes to mind.” Kevin’s arm tightened around her waist. “It’s too bad we have to quit now. I was starting to get some insights into Dr. Graybar’s operation, just as you promised.”
“You were thinking about Dr. Graybar?” she demanded.
“Wasn’t that the idea?” Before she could sputter a reply, he pulled her close and cradled her against him.
He’d been joking, she realized, embarrassed at having fallen for it, until the music and his nearness swept away all other thoughts. They finished the number at their leisure while the other couple waited beside the dance floor with drinks in hand.
“That’s a great song, isn’t it?” Larry said as the four of them trooped outside. He and Adrienne seemed perfectly content to have waited.
“It’s one of my favorites,” his date said. “I like the jazz influence.”
The two of them radiated contentment. This didn’t seem like a first date, so she presumed they’d spent most of Sunday together.
Alli remembered Betsy telling her that Adrienne was a kindergarten teacher who’d once dreamed of becoming a stand-up comic but had discovered her jokes were too tame. Her five-year-old audience turned out to be much more appreciative than grown-ups.
She and Larry certainly seemed to be the right audiences for each other. Before he’d met Adrienne, Alli had never seen him this comfortable with a woman other than a casual friend.
“What did you want to tell me?” she asked as they reached the table, where the waitress had cleared their plates.
Kevin switched her drink to his side. Taking a hint, Alli sank down beside him.
“Things are pretty intense at work,” Larry said. “The police chief came by in person to talk to J.J. He’s bent out of shape because Payne implied he’s not doing his job. Apparently, racketeering investigations aren’t the police department’s jurisdiction.”
“We know,” Kevin said.
“Also, the scuttlebutt is that LeMott’s attorney called to demand a retraction,” Larry went on. “I think the editors turned that one over to the paper’s attorney.”
“How’s Payne handling the pressure?” Alli inquired.
“He claims he’s got evidence to back up his speculations,” the photographer replied. “Do you suppose that’s true?”
“He doesn’t even have speculations to back up his speculations,” Alli told him. “He stole those from me, remember?”
“Oh, right.”
“He’s such a jerk!” Adrienne sympathized.
“J.J. might be starting to wonder what he’s gotten into,” Larry confided. “Madge heard him asking Payne when he conducted the interview with the mayor that he keeps quoting from. LeMott’s attorney denied they’d ever spoken.”
The newsroom gossip mill was obviously running full speed. “What did Payne answer?” Alli asked.
“According to Madge, he claimed he ran into LeMott outside city hall and asked him a few questions, which didn’t sound very convincing,” Larry said. “To make matters worse, when J.J. wondered why he hadn’t interviewed the vice-mayor, he said, ‘He’s been avoiding me.’ He didn’t even know it’s a woman!”
“He’s an idiot. But then, so’s J.J. for not pulling him off the story,” Alli commented, and then, suddenly, she realized what their next step had to be.
The others went on talking about the dissatisfaction in the newsroom. Alli listened with only half her mind.
Her reporter’s instincts were baying like hounds. She could hardly wait to get started.
KEVIN OBSERVED the secretive smile playing around Alli’s mouth. She’d hit on something.
It must have been the dancing. It had definitely worked a spell on him, although not one likely to help with their case. Or with his peace of mind, either.
All evening, his yearning for Alli had grown by jagged leaps. And he’d relished every minute of this feeling. He’d enjoyed prolonging the ache, something that he couldn’t recall happening before. Although he’d always tried to be a gentleman, long buildups weren’t his style.
He didn’t intend to sleep with Alli Gardner. He’d never met a woman more utterly wrong for him. But he hadn’t minded the luxurious sensuality that wove through their dancing like a glittery thread. Strangely, he found that wanting a woman and knowing he couldn’t have her could be pleasurable even while it drove him crazy.
At last Larry ran out of tidbits about Payne, and he and Adrienne went on their way. When Alli smothered a yawn, Kevin suggested they go home.
“Good idea,” she told him. “I’ve got things to do.”
What things, at this hour? he wondered.
She refused to let him pay her share of the bill. Although he supported the idea of financial equality, Kevin wished she’d give in gracefully. Holding the purse strings made him feel in control of a situation and, besides, she didn’t have an income. However, he acquiesced gracefully.
In the car, Alli hummed the tune the band had been playing as they left. Her throaty contralto caressed Kevin like a massage.
He reminded himself that sex would be a bad idea. Unfortunately, he felt too tired to remember why.
“What’s this stuff you’ve got to do tonight?” he asked as he steered.
She tore her gaze away from the passing shops. “For one thing, I need to figure out what questions to ask the vice-mayor tomorrow.”
“So that’s what you came up with.” He remembered that Mrs. Rodale’s daughter was a client of Graybar’s. “I should have thought of that. It’s a bit late to call her tonight.”
“I’d rather show up without calling to make it harder to put me off,” Alli said. “She has a real-estate office but I’ve heard she usually works from home in the mornings. You can meet me there if you like.”
“Why would I have to meet you?” Kevin asked. “We can drive over in my car.”
“That’s because of the other thing I have to do tonight.”
“What?”
“Pack.”
Oh, right. He’d evicted her. “And it’s against your new policy to nag me about letting you stay.”
She stifled another yawn. “Correct.”
His pride ordered him to stick to his guns and let her go. But this late in the evening? And back to a place that had been stalked by thugs and invaded by Payne Jacobson?
Despite his stubborn streak, Kevin wasn’t cruel. Or foolish. “It’s more efficient if you stay one more night.”
“I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you,” Alli replied.
“Don’t push your luck. I gave in, okay?”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Uncomfortably, he noted that an absence of nagging meant he had to pay closer attention to Alli’s needs. It might even force him to be more accommodating in the first place.
Did there have to be a downside to everything?
When they got home, he realized with a start that he no longer minded the mess in his living room. It was worth it, because it meant Alli was going to stay until tomorrow.
Kevin didn’t care to examine his feelings. He preferred to chalk them up to seductive music and the unpredictable effects of strawberry pie on his nervous system.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, and made his escape with what dignity he could muster. He couldn’t fall asleep for a long while, and when he did, he found himself reaching out in his dreams for someone who wasn’t there.