Seb rounded on Travis the moment they were outside the bar. ‘Why did you bring me here? I knew there was something up, you were as twitchy as hell, but I thought it was because of Freya. Now, I’m guessing it nothing to do with her, did it?’
‘I only thought you might like to join in.’
‘Join in?’ Seb scoffed. ‘Man, you can’t just turn up and play in front of people like it’s karaoke night. I don’t have my guitar if you hadn’t noticed.’
‘You could sign up now and go and get it from the flat?’
‘You are joking?’ Seb said, then shook his head. ‘No, it’s worse. You’re serious. I haven’t rehearsed. I haven’t even sung or played for weeks. These events are for artists to showcase their latest work, not make an arse of themselves.’
Travis held up his hands in surrender. ‘OK. OK. Simmer down. I just thought it was a safe space. That it would be a way in again …’
‘To what? To be the laughing stock? There’s no safe space when you perform. You go out on a limb; you take the risk and the only way you can even contemplate that is if you spend every waking minute preparing.’
‘I’m sorry, I thought you could just rock up and play. Like in the old days. With the band …’ Travis stopped speaking, aware of how limp that sounded.
‘The old days are gone.’ Seb stormed off, leaving Travis standing in the street, swearing at himself. His worst expectations of the night had been realised and now he’d lost any trust he’d built up with Seb, if he’d ever done that.
He’d also worried and embarrassed Freya in front of Roxanne. It wasn’t her fault at all, it was his for agreeing to such a scheme. Great.
He thought about going straight back into the bar and leaving his brother, but changed his mind. He wasn’t going to give up yet. He had questions to ask and since the genie was now out of the bottle, this was as good a time as any.
A chink of light glimmered beneath the flat door, so at least Seb hadn’t gone to one of the other pubs as Travis had feared.
Bracing himself for a broadside, he rapped on the door. ‘Seb?’
There was no answer.
‘Please let me in. I swear I’m not here to lecture you.’
After an agonising few seconds, the door was pulled open. ‘That would be a first but you’d better come in before the neighbours complain about your whining.’ With a stony glare, Seb held the door back so Travis could enter.
Travis prepared to grovel as he’d never done before. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you. It was crass, and stupid. I ought to have asked you.’
‘I still wouldn’t have played.’
‘OK.’
He didn’t know what to say next in case it ignited another row but he couldn’t simply stand silently with Seb glaring at him, squaring up to each other like boxers in the ring.
‘If you don’t want to talk about it, I can go away again,’ he said as neutrally as he could. ‘But I do care, and if someone’s been hassling you …’
‘Hassling me?’
‘Yeah. Freya happened to mention she’d seen a guy arguing with you outside the church.’
Seb curled a lip. ‘She told you, then? I knew she would.’
‘She’s worried about you.’
‘So you’re both interfering now? A regular social work team. Great.’
‘You keep Freya out of this!’ Travis snapped then forced himself to calm down. ‘Is there anything I need to know? Anything I can do to help or get this guy off your back.’
Seb glowered at him. ‘Only if you want to cause more trouble between me and my mates. It was Fenno, and he was a bit lairy because he’d been to a mate’s party. I told him to grow up and he didn’t like it but that was it. We’ve made up now.’ Seb made a kissy kissy sound. ‘OK with you?’
‘Fenno …’ Travis shook his head slowly. ‘I might have known.’
‘Then, hurrah! Aren’t you clever?’
‘There’s no need to be sarcastic. I’m not clever, I just care about you and I want you to be happy.’
‘As if it was that easy,’ Seb snapped, then went on angrily, ‘I know you think you’re being helpful. Really though, what do you know? You do what you love for a living. What do you actually know about wasting your life in a job you don’t want to do and that will go on forever?’
‘Then do something different,’ Travis threw back. ‘Screw wasting your life. Try and make it with your music.’
Seb scoffed. ‘You live in Cloud Cuckoo land. I’ll never make it like you have, so stop thinking I can!’
Despair filled Travis, followed by the chill of deep sadness. ‘You won’t make it with that attitude. You’re your own worst enemy!’
He’d meant to jolt Seb out of his inertia, but he immediately wished he could claw back every word.
‘I think you should leave and don’t try and manage me again or we really will fall out.’ Seb opened the front door and Travis walked out, hearing the door slam behind him.