Chapter Eighteen

 

 

Wrapped in each other's arms, the next morning, they stared into each other's eyes. Contentment, confidence, and joy filled them.

A completeness neither had ever known surrounded them. Contentment flowed through their veins to just hug and kiss. A new joy filled the room.

Suddenly, he tossed the covers back and turned to look at her.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Looking at my wife," he murmured as he bent to kiss her lips. "Everything I dreamed could be between us is. You're my life now, Anna Lee, and I am yours forever."

"I've dreamed so long to be with you in every way, never once suspecting how good it could be between us. Even when Mary told me how good it was, I couldn’t believe it, and yet in her eyes I saw a satisfaction I never dreamed I would encounter."

Then he stared at her, from head to toe, his hand following his eyes. "You're more gorgeous than I ever dreamed. And make no mistake Anna Lee, I have dreamed about this moment, many times."

She ran her gaze over him now, "And at last I can look at you and feel no guilt, too." She whispered. "Don't laugh, but you are the only man I've ever seen naked, and you are beautiful."

"I don't want to get up and go into town. I want to stay with you all day and make love." He kissed her solidly on the lips, as she pressed herself against him.

"Sounds good to me."

"But I've got to get up, darlin'."

"I know," she leaned and kissed his hard nipple.

"Stop that, or I won't get up at all." He teased.

"I never dreamed it could be so wonderful, I never dreamed I'd like it so much either." she giggled. "Am I evil for liking the way you love me?"

"No darlin' there isn't anything evil about you. We are married now and have every right to love each other."

"Am I enough woman for you?"

He raised up and smiled sexily at her, "Darlin' you are more than enough woman. And I'm proud to say you are my woman now, every inch of you. I don't think we have to worry about our marriage, ever again." He told her. "And from now on, you'll sleep with me. We're one, like the bible says and we're going to stay that way, no matter what! You understand, no matter what."

"I like that," she smiled and kissed him.

"I wish I had time; I'd take you again."

"I'll be here when you come home." She smiled.

He looked seriously into her eyes now, "I love you Anna Lee. I always have. Remember that and keep it tucked away in your heart. Don't you ever forget it. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently. We're together in this."

"I know now. I've never loved anyone like I love you." She smiled. "And I never dreamed I'd feel so comfortable, here in your bed, naked."

"Darlin', I'd keep you in this bed always, if I could."

She smiled from his words.

"There's something I have to know. It's not an ego thing, it's just well, I've questioned my womanhood many times as the tomboy label got put on me early. Did I do alright?" she asked him out of the blue.

He chuckled throwing back his head with pure laughter and stared into her serious expression. "Darlin', if you were any better, I'd be dead." He chuckled.

She pulled his chin around to stare into his eyes, "The way you loved me last night. Is it always this good between married people?"

He stared into her eyes with a sexy smile, touching her cheek, as she laid it against his hand. "Only when two people really love each other, is it this good. We made passionate love to each other. Love is beautiful, sex is much different. I know the difference."

"How would you know that?"

"I've had a few whores in my lifetime."

"I don't believe it, you had whores?" she sat up. "You?"

He pulled her down into his arms and smiled at her, "When a man wants a woman, and he can't have her, he takes a whore instead."

"He does?" she looked up at him innocently.

His glance was compassionate. "That summer, when I left, I wanted you. You have no idea how badly I wanted to make you mine. But darlin' you were just too young and very naïve. We weren't married, but I loved you, wanted you. So, I took a whore instead."

"You wanted me then?" she gasped.

"I didn't mean to look at you, but I couldn't stop it either. Your figure began to take shape, you weren't just some skinny little kid anymore. You had breasts and hips and I'd loved you as a child, as a friend, but that day, the love I felt was much different. I saw you as a young and beautiful woman. And I hated myself for seeing you like that. I knew I had to walk away, and it hurt Anna. I didn't want to walk away from you, especially without explanation, but at that age, you wouldn't have understood. What we have, has lasted half a lifetime. And it will last forever, because it's true, you are my true love. Our problem all along was, we let others decide our relationship. That was wrong. What we felt, grew through the years. But I had to leave you Anna, because I knew you really were too young. It was the first time I agreed with everyone else. And I'm not talking about just age. You were a very naïve girl."

"I guess I was. I mean I looked at you, thought I wanted you, but I had no idea what that even meant."

"I know that. And I didn't intend to ever tell you either." He admitted. "Innocence is a beautiful thing too, you know."

She turned his cheek to stare once more, "I'm glad you told me. Because I spent a lot of my life wanting you, only I didn't really know what I wanted. I just knew when I was with you, I felt different than with anyone else. I was so comfortable with you. I always was."

"My God, Anna…" he kissed her so tenderly she lost breath.

"I've got to get to the Livery stable," He said pulling away as though the temptation to stay with her had become too much for him. "But I'll be home as soon as I can." He promised and kissed her sweet lips.

She grabbed his arm, and stared into his warm brown eyes, "I feel like I've really come home now. Like I finally belong here!"

He touched her cheek, his thumb caressing her. "You have come home, and you do belong! And together we'll make it even better."

His thumb moved softly over her lip and his look devoured her, he bent to kiss her. "Hold that kiss in your heart until I get home."

Her face broke into the most radiant smile as she stared at him. "It's there," she whispered softly.

He hesitated to leave but kissed her on the forehead and went to get dressed.

 

***

 

She laid there in the bed, naked, basking in the memories of the night in his arms. She never dreamed being married could feel so wonderful. Even though they'd been married for a while now, she felt as though last night was her honeymoon night.

Her heart sang with the sweet whispers of love. What was strange was that she really felt like a complete woman.

This was what all those feelings came to. This was the reward of true love.

She snuggled under the covers and relived the moments with a soft sigh. Even his words were like music to her, and because of last night, the understanding that grew between them made them both stronger.

Her mother and sister had told her about the first time, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember a pain from his taking. It was so beautiful, and she felt silly and happy at the same time.

Did every woman feel this wonderful after making love with their husband? She truly hoped so.

It had been nearly four weeks since they married, and it felt like her marriage started last night. It brought her a happiness she couldn't explain. She felt so alive, so giddy, so very happy.

She hugged the covers around her, then suddenly threw them off and got up. She grabbed a thin cotton dress and dashed down the stairs after combing her hair. She saw Maria and she went to hug her.

"My you look different this morning." Maria chuckled.

"I'm so happy, I think I might burst." Anna Lee cried.

"And I am happy for you." Maria told her. "Are you hungry?"

"Starved," she giggled.

"Good, I have a good breakfast for you." Maria told her.

"Oh, could Pearl draw me a bath?" Anna asked. "I hate to ask but I'm late getting up and around this morning, and there are a few things I want to do."

Maria glanced at her and chuckled again, "I think she could do that. I'll see to it."

Pearl was a black maid Joe hired two years ago. She was tall, thin, and wore a bandana around her head all the time. She had a sassy mouth most of the time, but she minded Maria and Joe well. And she was an excellent housekeeper.

"I promise I'll get to work as soon as I'm clean and dressed." Anna told her.

"You have no work to do, here." Maria insisted.

"Oh yes I do. This is my home now, and I'm going to make it even better. I want to check the garden to see if there is anything, I can plant for you. I'm going to make you a fabulous dress to wear to parties, I’m going to work hard like Joe does to make this the best place in the world to live." She laughed.

"You must have had a very good night." Maria chuckled.

"Yes," Anna glanced at her with stars in her eyes, "I did. And I hope I have many more like last night."

Maria chuckled again, feeling almost a part of her happiness for her.

"I'm so happy Maria, I'm almost scared to be this happy." Anna laughed.

Maria sat down at the table with her, pouring her some coffee as she did so. "Enjoy your love, for I see it in your eyes this morning, and also in Joe's eyes."

"You saw it!" Anna cried aloud with laughter.

"I saw it. You will have many babies." Maria laughed with her.

"Babies?" Anna looked at her once more, her eyes shining with the afterglow of love. "Wow," she contemplated that statement. "Babies." She smiled dreamily now.

"Si, I suspect many," Maria told her.

Anna sipped her coffee and thought about the prospect. "I've never had a baby before. Is it painful?"

"Sometimes," Maria twisted her head, "Most times, yes. But once the baby is here, you forget the pain of it, just like the first time you make love, it is gone, for what it gives is worth much more."

Anna blushed, "Oh Maria, you make it sound so wonderful."

"Si, it is." She chuckled.

"I can't imagine. I'll probably get fat." Anna looked down at herself. Then she looked at her. "Have you ever had a baby?"

"Yes, I did. But when I lost my husband, I went into a depression and couldn't shake it. I miscarried; the baby was dead."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." Anna felt bad for asking such a question, but Maria smiled sadly.

"I would not want to relive it, but I am glad I had a chance at motherhood just the same, for my husband was so happy about it. Still, it was a very bad time for me. But by the grace of God, I am still alive to tell it. And you will not get fat. You are very active and work hard. You will not get fat." Maria told her and got up to fix her breakfast. "Have your babies if you can, for they bring much joy into the world, and I would be happy to help you with them."

Maria went to tell Pearl, the black cleaning lady to fix a warm bath for Anna. Pearl nodded and huffed, "Cain't even fix her own bath?"

Maria heard her and came back to her, "Mrs. Callahan is a hard worker, she works harder than you and me both, I won't allow you to talk like that. Now run along and fix that bath for her. And no complaining. She doesn't ask much of us, we need to appreciate that."

Pearl frowned but she did as she was told as Maria was the boss when Joe wasn't around, Joe himself had made that clear to Pearl before she started working for him.

When she returned to the kitchen Anna was washing up her dishes. "You do not have to do that."

"I like doing dishes, Momma and I always talked when we did dishes. It was like a family thing."

Maria nodded, "Si, it is. Do you miss your folks since you married?"

"Yes, but they aren't that far away that I can't go visiting them. They are very happy together and I know they enjoy being alone together now that me and my sister are married."

"Yes, it is a good time for parents when they have raised their children well."

"I'm sorry I salted the enchiladas too much last night. The boys were so nice not to say a word." Anna told her with a slight grin.

"It was your first try. But they were good, just too salty."

"They are all good boys, every one of his men are nice." Anna told her.

"Si, he hires good ones. I don't know how he knows so much about picking them out. But not a one of them is a throw away." Maria smiled.

"Were you happy with your husband, Maria?" Anna asked.

"Si, like you I was giddy with love. My husband and I came from Arizona, we'd only been married a year or so when he was killed by Apaches. I was barely pregnant, and I wish I had been stronger. Maybe the baby would have lived. But losing my husband was hard."

Anna's face turned white, "I know you will see your baby again one day, in heaven."

"It was a long time ago."

"And you never remarried?" Anna asked.

"No, I could not. I still loved him too much. Even to this day. Still sometimes I think he would want me to find another. Maybe, someday."

Anna stared, "I can understand that. The only man I've ever loved is Joe. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to him."

"Si, I am glad you feel that way about him. He is a good man."

"I just wish Mr. Pettigrew would get back. Things run a lot smoother when he's around. I wish the Sheriff would catch those men so Joe and his men wouldn't have to handle it. I'd die if anything happened to them."

"Trust in the Lord," Maria told her.

"Yes, you are right about that, Maria." Anna smiled. "Where is the nearest church?"

"The nearest church?" Maria looked a bit surprised by the question.

"Yes, I want to go there and pray for the men and Joe." Anna explained. "I think it's important to pray for them. My church is some ways from here, and I don't want to take up the whole day, I just want to say a prayer for Joe and the boys."

"What kind of church?"

"It does not matter. I only want to be closer to God when I do, and I must hurry and get back."

"Well, St. Matthews is about three miles down the south road. It is always open, and you can just walk in."

"That's sounds perfect."

"I know I could pray here, but it seems closer to God to go to his house and pray, and this is a special prayer."

Maria smiled, "I understand."

"I'll be back in no time, so don't you fret." She told her.

She took her bath and thanked Pearl for fixing it for her.

Pearl shot her a strange glance and left.

She went directly to Maria. "She thanked me for drawing her bath."

Maria looked at her and smiled, "I told you, she's a good woman. She doesn't take something like that for granted, but she was in a hurry."

"For what, she don't work around here!" Pearl snapped.

"She will, that girl isn't lazy." Maria chuckled.