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The Man with Two Last Names

Thomas Thomas peered into the cages at the animal shelter determined to find the most ferocious dog. In the farthest corner, in the very darkest cage in the room, Thomas was drawn to a pair of bright black eyes staring back at him. He liked the look of those eyes, so he decided that whatever dog was attached to them, Thomas would adopt it.

It was love at first sight. The minute the attendant opened the cage, a black-and-silver miniature German Schnauzer leaped into Thomas’ arms licking Thomas’ face with unabashed affection. “I’ll call you Herman,” said Thomas. “That’s it. Herman the German Schnauzer.”

On the way home, Thomas studied Herman’s ridiculously small, wiry-haired body. Maybe Herman’s barks will scare off any intruders, Thomas reasoned, scratching his pudgy chin. Herman threw his new owner an approving “Woof,” as if answering Thomas’ doubts.

Thomas poured his heart out to Herman during the long drive. “I’ve never had a friend who would listen to me,” Thomas admitted shyly, his orange dust-mop hair blowing every which way from the wind gusting through the open car window.

Thomas’ parents were divorced so long ago, he has no memory of their being together. Given that fact, growing up an only child on the North Side of Chicago was fairly normal. No one knew why Thomas had identical first and last names. At school, the cruel kids would say, “Thomas is so stupid his parents gave him just one name to remember.”

He endured the silly playground teasing in silence. “Thomas Thomas he’s so fat, moves like Jell-O in a vat.”

Thomas rationalized. I may be a little overweight, but I have a great escape—the wonderful world of books. Through reading, he discovered everything he craved: Adventure to exotic places where anything was possible. I can be a hero just like the characters in the stories, Thomas told himself. His favorite book was the thrilling adventure, Captains Courageous.

“One day,” he promised the poster of a 1787 schooner decorating his otherwise bare wall, “I’m going to sail around the globe on my own boat that I’ll name Sea Wind. I know I can achieve my dream if I save every penny.”

Life whirled by. Thomas graduated from high school, married the love of his life, bought a terrific little house in the suburbs and had two beautiful children, a boy and a girl, who were the spitting images of his wife.

Several wonderful years passed, then several not so wonderful years. Thomas’ wife no longer smiled as if she meant it. That special light no longer lit up her eyes. Thomas followed in the tradition of his parents and his parents’ parents. He got a divorce.

The house went to Thomas’ ex-wife and the child support payments went to Thomas. At least I can see my children, Thomas reassured himself. But the children would much rather play with their friends in their upscale suburban neighborhood than visit Thomas in his new, modest surroundings.

Still, Thomas was hopeful. “I bet when they’re older they’ll want to see me,” he said wistfully. Thomas waited and waited. Years went by. But his children almost never came to visit.

To make ends meet, Thomas moved to a low-rent neighborhood in the city. He discovered too late that his tiny basement apartment was in the heart of the Purple Devils territory, a notorious street gang. Thomas decided it was time to buy a dog for protection. That’s when Herman entered the picture.