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WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I doing? I was going to get to bed early tonight.
In fact, the only reason I wasn’t in pajamas right that very second was because Emma came to my door and told me Coach had bought us all food and we had to come down to the lobby to get it. I tried to talk her into bringing me my stuff, but it was no dice. She wanted me to come, and I felt like I had been a bad teammate already by being holed up in my room so long that I went.
Then when we got our food, Emma and Temika, another of the girls who seemed to never slow down at ‘party time,’ decided that eating outside was the best course of action so we could watch the sunset. Figuring a bit of fresh air never hurt anyone, again, I followed. And now I was wearing Emma’s glitter on my boobs, which were jacked up to my chin in a tight blouse that I’d thrown on because it was the only thing I had that was remotely decent and not black, and was casually erasing the line between friendship and flirting with Gavin with a willful intent.
Not that Star seemed to care.
He sent her that picture as we walked, and I figured he would tell me if she responded. Star knew this shirt. She called it my ‘only decent titty shirt.’ When I pressed her on it, she stated that I should be happy to be so well endowed and not wear such ‘puritanical oppression’ clothes. Like T-shirts that didn’t dip down to my belly button, I guessed.
Star was known for her eclectic sense of fashion, which may or may not involve occasional accidental nudity. I was known for wearing whatever was most comfortable depending on the weather I was in. Sweatpants and hoodies in the fall and winter, gym shorts and T-shirts in the spring and summer. Otherwise, I wore a uniform on the field or the same black dress to whatever funeral or wedding I was dragged to.
The blue blouse had been something my mother had bought me for Christmas and I’d worn exactly once to a club Star dragged me to and then put away. It showed off far more of my chest than I intended, and I was uncomfortable with the amount of attention I got, even if most of the attention was still on Star that night anyway.
I had only put it on tonight because I didn’t want to wear black and seem like I was recovering from the plague. And besides, I was only going to see the girls. Right?
Now I was wearing it, prancing into a club, with the hottest guy I had ever known by my side.
Lila, what are you doing?
Speaking to myself in second person didn’t exactly fix anything, but it made me feel better. Like I could blame someone else if something went wrong. So I kept two minds of things as we walked into the darkened club, bright yellow, blue and purple lights flashing and music thumping so loud you had to shout to be heard.
“We should stick together,” Kevin bellowed, seemingly not having much trouble being heard above the din. “So we can keep an eye out. Lots of people prey on tourists.”
“I don’t think anyone’s going to prey on you,” Emma shouted, a deep grin on her face. I knew what that grin was for. That was the I’ve chosen my meal for the night grin.
Kevin shot one back at her.
“Want something to drink?”
I turned toward Gavin, who was motioning toward the bar. I nodded and followed him as he elbowed his way to a spot. Kevin followed a moment later, and the four of us were lined up together, the rest of our crew already having been lost to the darkness and the intoxicating music.
“Four shots, top shelf,” Kevin said before the bartender could address Gavin.
“Whoa, hold on there, bud,” Gavin said. “Don’t go broke tonight.”
“It’s a celebration,” Kevin laughed.
“Celebration of what?” Emma asked.
“Our sweeping this tourney, of course,” Kevin said as the bartender poured out our shots.
“We haven’t even played yet,” I laughed.
“Consider this a down payment on winning,” he said. “Salut!”
We clinked glasses and tipped back our drinks.
As the alcohol burned down my throat, I wondered again what I was thinking. I had really only been dragged out of my room out of guilt and a sudden and deep hunger that came from not really being able to eat for two days. Now I was downing shots in a club, knowing full well that with such little food in my stomach, I was going to be a quick drunk. No sooner had I placed the glass back down on the bar than Kevin had done a twirling motion with his finger to indicate another round.
“Woo!” Emma said as she knocked out her second shot a moment later.
“One more,” Kevin said, “then we dance.”
“I don’t know,” Gavin said.
“Hey, if you’re good, you’re good,” Kevin said. “I won’t push you. But I’m ordering you a shot, and it’s up to you.”
Four glasses appeared in front of us, and three of us picked them up. As I slammed the glass back on the table, my eyes met Gavin’s. His fingers were loosely on the glass. I could tell he didn’t really want to drink but didn’t want to seem non-sociable either. Impulsively, I put my hand over his, slowly sliding my fingers between his and the glass. When it was in my grip and no longer his, I pulled it to my lips.
Our eyes never lost their connection, and I smiled devilishly as I tipped it back and swallowed. As I put the glass back down, I brushed my bottom lip with my thumb and reached out my other hand. He took it instantly.
“Dance with me?” I asked.
He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. We were already moving toward the mass of people.
We joined the rest of the crew on the floor and made a kind of circle. There wasn’t much space between us, and slowly as the music switched from song to song, the space disappeared. We were right on top of each other, our bodies moving and sweat beading on the back of my neck as the alcohol kicked in. I was warm and suddenly energetic and ... happy.
It had been a long time since I had been this happy. A no-cares, enjoy the moment, blissful happiness. My body moved with the music instinctively, and the more we danced, the closer Gavin and I got to each other. Everyone else on the floor felt like they disappeared, becoming one gelatinous blob that I could ignore. None of them mattered. All that mattered was how Gavin’s hard, athletic body moved shockingly well with the rhythm. How his hands ended up on my hips as I turned my back to him and we moved together. How my ass pressed into his crotch and I could feel the twitch of his thick cock against me.
I felt like every pore of my body was on fire. My vision was clearer than it had ever been, and yet I could barely see anything beyond Gavin’s eyes. I could still taste the tequila on my tongue as I swallowed hard, trying not to say the words that were bubbling up in my chest. The words I longed to whisper in his ear. Words that formed a command that would shatter my entire reality, the tenuous place between friend and whatever it was we were moving toward. Words that would change everything.
“Kiss me.”
I wanted to say it. I needed to say it. But I was fighting it, pushing it away and trying to force my brain to think rationally. I knew Star wasn’t paying attention to the fact that she had a boyfriend. She didn’t care. Not because she was callous or mean or intentionally cheating, but because she was incapable of thinking anything was permanent. Whatever was good in the moment was good enough.
For her, right now, Gavin didn’t exist. Whatever French boy she was on the beach with did.
But I couldn’t say that for sure, could I? She was still technically dating him. And she was my roommate, and for the lack of closer friends, my best friend. I couldn’t do what I knew I wanted. What I felt like he wanted. What we could easily do right here, right now. Because it was forbidden.
And somehow, that only made it hotter.
The music was picking up tempo, getting rowdier. Kevin dragged Emma off the floor, and I could tell they were crossing every line I was desperately trying not to cross myself tonight. If he didn’t end up in her room or she in his, I would be shocked. They were almost completely off the floor when Emma stopped and reached out for me, grabbing my hand and yanking me with them.
Gavin laughed and followed, wiping sweat from his brow and opening another button on the top of his shirt. I found myself incapable of staring at anything other than the short, curly black hair that was now visible where the button had been clasped and was now open. His chest glistened with the sweat that I felt running down my own neck. I wanted to lick it off him and blow cool air across it. I wanted to taste him.
“Shots or beer?” Kevin asked as he got to the bar and then looked back to us. “My treat.”
“Beer,” Gavin said. “Something light.”
“Pfft, calorie counter,” he said. “Lila? Emma?”
“I’ll take a beer,” Emma said.
“Sure,” I said. “Something cold. It’s so hot in here.”
“What’s that? You’re super hot? Damn right you are,” Kevin said, then elbowed Gavin, his eyebrows waggling. “Right, boss?”
“Huh? Oh. Yes. Yeah,” Gavin said. I had never seen him respond to something sheepishly, and it was adorable. His cheeks flushed.
“See? Super hot,” Kevin said. “Oh, right. Umm. Four beers, the lightest and coldest you have, please.”
The waiter nodded, eyeballing all of us again and then disappearing to the cooler. As she pulled out four longneck beers from the ice, the steam rising off of them, my mouth watered. I hadn’t even realized how thirsty I was until that moment.
“Cheers,” Kevin said as he handed us the bottles, their tops already opened by the bartender. We clinked glasses, and I took a sip, closing my eyes as the cool liquid hit my tongue.
“Man, that hit the spot,” Kevin said, having downed his in one go. “Garçon, one more. No, two more.”
“I’m not drinking that fast,” Gavin said, laughing.
“Who said I’m ordering it for you?” Kevin laughed back.
“Yeah, who said?” Emma said, then belched. Her hand flew to her mouth, and we all froze. Then a giggle came from deep inside her, matched by the booming laughter of Kevin.
“Make that three,” he said, taking her empty bottle.
The bartender obliged, and suddenly the two of them had new beer, Kevin double-fisting his.
“Y’all want to go outside?” Gavin asked. “Get some fresh air?”
“I want to keep dancing,” Emma said.
“There’s a dance floor outside too,” Kevin said. “Come on, little bit. Let’s go.”
“Little bit?” I asked as the boys went ahead of us and I sidled up to Emma.
She turned to me with a deep smile on her face, her eyes a little glassy.
“He gave me a nickname,” she said. “Isn’t he just the best?”
“Do you like him?” I asked.
“Lila, I’m five-two. He’s like six-nine. He’s going to split me in half. Of course, I like him.”
I laughed audibly as she scampered off ahead of me, finding herself beside Kevin as Gavin slowed down for me to catch up. We walked side by side, our hands brushing each other almost enough to hold hands as we made it outside.
The outdoor dance floor wasn’t much cooler than the indoor one as the humidity was pretty high and the summer heat still steamed off the sand. It would cool off as the night wore on, but for now, it was still hot.
We finished our beers, tossing them in a trash can before heading to the dance floor. Only this time, as soon as we were on the checkerboard tile, Gavin pulled me into him and our bodies were crushed together. His hands were on my hips and slowly, as we moved, they trailed up my sides until the tips of his forefinger brushed the bottom of my breast. It might have been accidental. It probably was.
But maybe it wasn’t.
I turned, and my chest crushed into his upper stomach, and his abs pressed against me. Our eyes were burning into each other, and slowly, his head began to dip lower. As it did, we stopped moving, stopped dancing. It was happening, and I was powerless to stop it. Our lips cruised closer and closer, and I let my eyes drift shut, fighting myself as much as I was trying to make sure that I enjoyed every single second of what was to come.
Our lips were almost together, the top of his upper lip just brushing the top of mine...
