Chapter Five

Autumn ran thru the forest naked, exhilarated. To run again without the pain slowing her progress, to be light on her feet again, these were things she’d missed. They were suddenly as necessary as air in her lungs. She ran harder.

Broken bits of sunlight illuminated the forest floor making the moss underfoot shimmer. Autumn didn’t stop when the river next to her spilled over a bank into a pond below, She raised her hands over her head and leapt, then sailed through the air weightless until her body broke the surface of the water. It swallowed her, soothing her skin, drawing away the unnatural heat that seemed to have become a permanent fixture in her body.

When she came up for air, the noise of the waterfall crashed all around her echoing off the surrounding rocks. She leaned back and floated while the birds above her argued over a morsel one of them carried.

Fingers wrapped around her wrist, and she knew it to be Conner before she turned to see him. He entwined his fingers with hers and drew her toward the fall where the rocks formed a shallow pool.

She stood and the water lapped at her waist. He gathered her in his arms and captured her lips with his. Autumn wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss with all the passion she held in her soul. He moved with her in his arms until he had her pinned against the surface of a smooth rock with his body. He lifted her arms up over her head holding her hands above her while he kissed her neck. He kissed her shoulder, and she gazed up at the blue sky, while the water sparkled all around them…

Autumn’s eyes flew open. Conner was on the bed next to her, and although he was asleep, she felt the echo of his hands all over her body. When he stirred she scrambled off the bed. Her breath came in short bursts and her heart raced. The passion she saw in his gaze when he opened his eyes told her more than he ever could have with words.

“What the hell was that?” She pointed to the bed.

“Incredibly hot.” A slow smile spread across his face, and she felt panic surge inside her.

“You were there weren’t you?”

“I thought it would help.”

“How?” She wanted answers but the heat swelled, and she burned from the inside out. The scream that escaped from her sounded foreign, like someone else’s voice. When Autumn collapsed to the floor, he was at her side within the next heartbeat. Autumn squeezed her eyes shut against the pain.

“Listen to my voice. Autumn, Can you hear me?”

All she could do was nod.

“I’m going to help you.”

“Not the shower, it hurts.” She pleaded when she felt him scoop her up in his arms.

“Do you trust me?” She nodded again, the pain unbearable. This time the needles crawled all over her skin, in her muscles and down into her bones mixing with the ever present heat.

He carried her down the stairs and out the backdoor.

She tried not to scream again, but the pain was white hot and screaming was the only outlet her body had.

He marched across the grass right into the pond with her in his arms and dunked them both. Sudden cold mixed with the needle sensation, and Autumn thought she might pass out for a fleeting second. Then strong hands gripped her shoulders, and Conner pulled her up with him.

“Take a breath.”

She did what he commanded and he sank under the surface again with her still in his grasp. The cool water calmed her skin and the sweet relief seeped into her bones.

He drew her up for air again.

“One more time,” he ordered, and she took a breath before being submerged again.

They floated in the dark until her lungs begged for air, but this time the pain went away leaving just a warm footprint in its wake. He drew her up again and pulled her to his chest so just her head and the tops of her shoulders were above water.

“Better?”

Autumn nodded and pushed her wet hair back off her face.

“Just so you know, getting angry at me will only make it worse.”

“Good to know.” She let him hold her regardless of what he’d done. “Will it always feel like this?” She was afraid of the answer, but had to know whether or not she needed to go find a cliff to jump off.

“No Sweetheart, it won’t. Just the first time.” He dipped low and brushed her lips with his. Her nerves relaxed and she sighed leaning into the comfort he gave. “See, sex helps by giving you a way to channel the energy stored up in your body.”

“You said we can’t do that.”

“No, you’re right. That’s why I was trying to help by the waterfall, without really…”

“How does that work exactly, you traipsing around in my dreams like that?” She pulled away from him.

“I discovered I could reach you that way back at your house.”

“I knew that was you.” She slapped water at him.

“Hey watch it. You don’t want to get hot again.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Don’t think that gives you an out of jail free card.”

“I was just trying to help.”

“Can everyone talk to each other in their dreams?” The water felt so good, she stretched out and swam around him in circles while she asked questions.

“No. Typically, only bonded pairs can do it.”

“But we aren’t bonded.”

“True, but you nursed me back to health, and we shared an emotional experience, so maybe that forged a path for the dreams.” He leaned back and floated while they talked.

“Is everyone here mated?”

“No. Mac’s not mated. There are several people who aren’t.”

“Why haven’t you taken a mate? Kelly obviously wants you.”

His growl caught her off guard. She hadn’t seen his wolf in so long, she forgot it was in there.

“Kelly didn’t choose me. She wants to be the Alpha’s mate, nothing more. You can’t decide something like that. It’s either born to you or not.”

“You didn’t choose to be the Alpha?”

“Nope. Just happened.” He dove under the water to escape her questions, then popped up right in front of her. “I can give you some relief.” His voice was little more than a husky whisper.

“I thought that was a no-no.” She leaned in closer to him, desperate for what he offered.

“There are other ways.” He reached down below the water line and caressed her thigh. “Here, I’ll show you.”

“But we are in public.” Even as she protested, she couldn’t seem to bring herself to move out of his reach.

“Technically, it’s my pond. That makes it…not public. Besides no one would be surprised you’re out here. Everyone has been through their first change, and although it gets easier, you never forget the first time.”

“The fish will see.” She gasped when his hand found a more intimate place to caress.

“Shhhh.” He leaned in close and traced the whorls of her ear with his tongue.

Autumn quit arguing.

Her skin tingled while he kissed her neck and brought her to climax with quick skilled strokes of his hand. When the world splintered in an explosion of her senses, all the heat stored in her body flowed from her. Autumn held on to him to keep from slipping under the water and Conner wrapped his free arm around her waist to help support her. The wet T-shirt slopped against her skin, and Autumn shivered for the first time in days.

Conner took her face in both hands and dipped low to kiss her. His fingers slid down her arm to her hand, and he drew her out of the pond, back to the house.

The next day Autumn found herself more restless than ever, uncomfortable in her own skin. She watched Conner pace above in his office solving the problems of the lumber world on his Bluetooth. Their encounter the night before had left her nerves raw and on edge. Autumn couldn’t stay cooped up any longer. She went out back door to the deck.

Not so long ago she would have soothed her nerves by hitting the gun range or going for a run. Those days were behind her, and a brisk walk was about all her back could handle. It would have to be enough. She headed for the gravel path that looped around the pond.

“Want some company?”

Autumn jumped and the ever present heat flared and pricked at her skin for a second before she realized it was Mac who joined her.

“Don’t you know not to sneak up on an ex-Cop like that?”

“Are you armed?”

“Not even with long fingernails.” Autumn held her hands up.

“You shouldn’t wander by yourself until you’ve changed. The first one is always the roughest.”

“So I’ve heard. Care to join me then, because if I don’t do something, I’m going to climb out of my skin.”

He nodded, but kept a good distance between them while they walked.

“Why do you do that? You already have any cooties that I’ve got.”

“It’s a matter of respect for Conner, for you.”

She stopped, put her hands on her hips and faced him. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s the Alpha.” Mac said it like it explained everything.

Her lack of knowledge and everyone else’s lack of ability to explain things clearly was just plain pissing her off, not to mention her temper seemed shorter with each day that passed. She continued down the path to stay cool.

“I don’t get it. You are older, shouldn’t you be the Alpha?”

“It’s not a birthright, and it’s not earned. It’s just who he is…by genetics…by action, it’s encoded in the very fiber of his being.”

“So everyone does what he says, because he’s the king?”

“No. It’s not about being his subjects; it’s more like he serves the pack. Protects it above all else. So, the pack serves him. And yeah, he’s in charge. You’ll understand once you feel the pull of your Alpha, after you change.”

“You mean if she changes.”

Autumn hadn’t heard the extra set of footsteps join them. She swung around to face Kelly then lashed out at Mac. “Aren’t you supposed to sense or smell these things, or something?”

“I was distracted.”

“Poor pup. Not human. Not Wolf. Not worthy.” She sneered and Autumn’s heart thundered while she watched the woman’s features twist and morph into an unnatural state somewhere between human and animal. It reminded Autumn of Bear’s face when he tried to kill her and Conner. Heat suffused every pore of her being.

“You would attack a wolf who’s not changed yet?” Mac stepped between them.

“I would take what’s mine. She has no right. She stole it.”

“You have no claim on Conner, and you can’t accuse her of taking what she doesn’t even know she has.”

“Get out of my way.” Kelly hissed through unnatural teeth.

Autumn reached for her hip out of instinct, to find herself still unarmed. Rage filled her. She would not be a victim again.

The voices around her became distant under the rush of blood that filled her head. Heat washed over her skin, and she wished she’d just burst into flames and be done with it. Autumn struggled to catch her breath as a tremendous pressure built in her body, then sweet release when she felt her bones stretch and realign like popping the knuckles in her hand, all over her body, all at the same time. Every emotion she’d ever felt bubbled to the surface at once making it hard to think. She felt every hurt, fear, joy, loss, and love she’d ever experienced in her life all at once, as she watched hair sprout on her deformed hands. She wanted to scream. She howled instead.