By the end of her four days at Remus’ home, Ella had truly found her stride among the closely-knit group. Cordray had taken an easy liking to her, claiming her as his twin sister, since they were the only two of their kind. Being able to cast magic had bound them more quickly than any other commonality. Rory and Cordray stayed a few nights at Remus’ just so the five could study together by day and hang out as friends in the evening. Each time Cordray went out, he always made sure to come back with a small trinket for his wife, and a second small something for Ella.
“Cord, I can’t take that home. But it can stay in Henry’s bedroom here, so I can enjoy it when I come back next week.”
Cordray’s face fell as reality began to dawn on him. He removed the card game from the town car with a frown that stood out against the snow. “I don’t like this. This is really the plan, Remus? Her black eye only just faded yesterday. What if that woman returns Ella with a broken leg?” Cord had taken to calling Lady Tremaine “that woman,” which made Ella smirk every time.
Remus paused in the moonlight outside the driver’s side of the town car, having waited until the last moment to return Ella, as promised. “I don’t like it any more than you do. But until we find a way to make sure Lady Tremaine stays quiet about Ella, this is the boat we’re in.”
“How about reporting her for knocking around her stepdaughter? That should take her down a few pegs,” Rory suggested, wrapping her arms around Ella as the brisk night air kissed their faces.
Ella didn’t mind the cold so much anymore, now that she had a proper winter jacket. She would have to leave Henry’s coat in the back of the town car, but the oversized shield from the fast-falling snow felt snug as winter warned them it was finally here.
“You can’t embarrass a woman with no shame,” Remus replied sagely. “She paraded Ella in front of us and admitted to using force to keep her servant in line.” He leaned his forearms on the roof of the car. “Unless Ella’s willing to go public with her abilities, I have to return her.” He met Ella’s eyes across the top of the car and turned his palms up to give her one last chance to change her mind.
Ella swallowed hard, wishing for an option with no damning ramifications. Her father’s wisdom had always been “Have the courage to be kind,” but Ella couldn’t find courage anywhere in her choice, nor was she going back out of kindness. She was returning out of fear, which she knew wasn’t a good reason to do anything.
She leaned into Rory, suddenly feeling the weight of how terrible it would be to leave her side. She had been Ella’s cheerleader through the steep learning curve that was fine-tuning her Pulse. When it was Rory’s turn to flail and falter, Ella had cheered her on all the more, teaching her meditation techniques that actually did help Rory control her Pulse of Peace far better than she’d been able to four days ago. The girls worked in tandem, braiding each other’s hair to match, playing cards with the guys, and staying up far too late sharing secrets and childhood stories. Ella’s father had kept her away from children for the most part, and Lady Tremaine didn’t allot much time for Ella to have a social life, so she cherished every sisterly moment and exuberant hug.
Finally, Ella squeezed Rory before releasing her, and slid into the backseat of the car. “Tell Henry I…” There were so many things she wanted to say, but she knew none of them would be enough.
Rory’s lips pulled to the side. “He knows. He’ll wake back up in a few hours, and Remus can deal with him then.” Then Rory shut the door, and pressed her palm to the window.
Ella mirrored the action, wishing her life could be so very different. She was still wearing her old jeans and flannel button-down, looking vastly different than Rory’s manicured and couture look, but the two understood each other, which was a rare treat for them both.
Remus started up the car and left Rory and Cordray standing in the driveway as he pulled down the lengthy, topiary-lined blacktop, and out onto the street. “I’ve never seen Henry so worked up. I can’t remember the last time I heard him shout like that.”
Ella watched the world blur by through the tinted windows, pursing her lips through the memory of the vein in Henry’s neck pulsating so angrily. “I knew he wouldn’t be able to accept it when I had to go home. We both wish the world could be different, but it’s not.” She shrugged, as if the whole thing didn’t devastate her. “I’m sure Rory didn’t mean to make him pass out.”
Remus paused, and then glanced at her in the rearview mirror, his eyebrow raised. “I’ll let you believe that, if you need to. She knew there was no way he’d be able to handle watching you leave. He’s utterly smitten. It’s a strange shade on him. Though, when Henry has his mind set on something, his fire burns too hot for most to handle. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that when he finally gave away his heart, there would be no holding him back. That’s what you’re doing, you know. You’re asking him to hold back.”
Ella hung her head, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees so she could cover her face. “I know. But the alternative isn’t much better.”
“I want a good life for Henry, for him to find all the things that make him come alive. I see it when you’re near him.”
Ella turned over his words, but decided to voice the thing that had been tugging at the back of her brain since one of their tutoring sessions. “Is this your good life? Does passing down your wisdom make you come alive?”
Remus blinked at her in the rearview mirror. “I suppose so. I do enjoy studying, so being around others who have the same passion feels natural.”
Ella didn’t know how to voice her concern with tact. Her fingers twisted in her lap as she worked out her worry. “Was Malaura a good teacher?”
Remus tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “Why would you ask me that?”
“When you were talking about Cordray learning to cast his Pulse because Malaura pushed him past his breaking point, it made me think she’d probably done the same to you when you were young.”
Remus’ voice was a taut whisper when he finally responded. “Yes, well. That was years ago. I was twelve years old when she was cast out. I’ve had plenty of time to heal from those wounds.”
Ella kept her voice quiet and respectful, sensing this was pain that didn’t often see the light of day. “What kinds of wounds?”
The answering silence stretched on for so long that Ella assumed she’d stepped too far into his business. When he finally spoke, she had to lean in to hear the horrors. “Malaura was a believer that the darkness purged our powers to the surface. It’s no surprise to me that Cordray was kept mostly in pure black for much of his incarceration. I endured the same trials. Weeks of being alone in the dark with Malaura’s voice reading ancient spells in English, then in Latin, and then Greek. Over and over, that’s all I had. I was let out when I could recite them in all three languages. Then I was put back in for more of the same.”
Ella closed her eyes, her hand over her mouth. “That’s terrible. How old were you?”
“I don’t remember much of my eighth year, aside from her voice. She was so pleased when I got the incantations right. I was her favorite.” When Ella didn’t respond, Remus continued, digging into the sore he never allowed the air to touch. Now that it was out in the open, the sting of the cut sizzled and begged to be explored further. “She didn’t like it when the other children came near me, so I was kept away from them for the most part, studying instead of playing. When I returned from boarding school, my brother tried to hug me, but I pushed him away. That’s when my parents decided I shouldn’t go back to study under Malaura anymore. It took me a long time to understand how to be normal after that, but I think I manage well enough now. When Rory was born, something in me clicked—came back to life perhaps. I was only twelve, but I felt responsible for her. When she woke up crying in the night, I went to her with her mother, Leah.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sure you didn’t want to know all of that. Apologies, Miss Ella.”
Ella’s words were filled with sorrow. “You were a little boy. A little boy who didn’t know how to hug. That’s tragic.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth before speaking. “I am not so little anymore. I’ve long since recovered from my time under her care. That she’s dead now? The world is better off. Still, there’s this sadness that sometimes finds me, and I can’t reason with it. I don’t want her to be alive, of course. I mean, I had a hand in her death. I was there, fighting alongside Cordray to help deal the final blow. Still…” He shook his head. “Ignore me.”
“Never.” Ella reached forward and cupped his shoulder. “I understand. It is sad. It’s sad when anyone dies having never learned to love or be good to those around them. When Lady Tremaine passes someday, I’m sure I’ll have that same pit in my stomach. We all want our kindness to be big enough to bring life to the people around us. When evil is bigger than love, and that’s how it ends? You’re right; it is sad.”
Remus’ shoulders moved slowly up and down with his weighted breathing, as if he was trying to exhale the demons that were supposed to be long dead. He reached across his chest and placed his hand atop hers that still rested on his shoulder. “I never expect anyone will understand, so I’ve kept much of myself private. That you see me clearly? It’s a gift I don’t take lightly. Thank you, my dear. Now that I met you, perhaps I won’t be quite so sad any longer.”
“Well, I’m here—for the giddy moments and the grim ones.”
“Thank you,” he said in a choked whisper. Remus allowed a soothing silence to settle over them for several minutes after Ella pulled her hand away so she could sit properly in the back. When he pulled onto the freeway, Ella realized the teacher inside of him could only be quiet for so long. “Would you mind a detour?”
“Sure. So long as I’m back sometime tonight, that should be fine.”
The turn he took led down a road Ella hadn’t ever had cause to travel. It was overgrown in parts, and as the minutes turned into almost an hour of travel, Ella finally spoke up. “Where are we going?”
“We might not even get out of the car. What do you know about the Lupine?”
Ella sat back and rested her head on the window. “Only what everyone knows. A bunch of people were cursed by Malaura to live out their days as huge wolves. They’ve got the minds of humans, but are trapped as wolves.” Ella didn’t bring up the fact that they were largely feared, as that seemed unkind to mention.
“That’s accurate. Quite the surly bunch. The two communities don’t really understand each other. Humans assume the wolves are prowlers, so they do their best to keep them out, and the wolves don’t seem to like being around humans. I think it makes them sad to see bipedals, and remember the lives they’d once lived that are now gone forever.”
“That makes me sad for them. We don’t see them much in our village, but perhaps that’s because we’re a more populated city.”
“People assume a lot about me, most of which is wrong. But one thing I’ll concede to is that I love to study. Not just books, and not just people. I daresay I knew Henry was in love before he did, because I watch the people around me.”
Ella squirmed in her seat, a bashful smile playing on her lips. “Henry isn’t in love. It’s far too soon for that.”
Remus chuckled. “Enjoy the denial. Enjoy the small span of Henry holding himself back. When he finally does declare himself, expect there to be fireworks and a parade.”
He turned down a side street that was even more overgrown, the trees brushing the car as if the vehicle wasn’t welcome in these parts. The night seemed impossibly darker all of a sudden, and Ella realized the lack of streetlights, or any businesses or other cars nearby. “Where are we going?”
“The Lupine are easier to study than most people assume. No one wants to acknowledge their place in society, but we are not no one. We’re going to visit one of the packs as part of your training.”
Ella balled her toes inside her shoes and rubbed the skin on her knuckles. “Um, isn’t that kind of dangerous?”
“Normally I’d say maybe. But I know this wolf and his keeper. I know their pack. Rafe is a very old wolf who doesn’t hold the same stigma about humans as the other Lupine. I think it’s because his keeper softens him. They live together out in the woods.”
“These woods?” Ella glanced out at the snow-covered ground. “It’s snowing out.”
“One of the many quirks that will paint a more detailed picture of the two. I want you to meet them for many reasons, but the main one is because I want to test your Listening. The pack has its own language, which the wolf we’re about to see can speak. But this particular one has been able to maintain a human connection with his keeper, whom he came across after his transition. Rafe is the only one who can be heard by both the Lupine and a human. I want to know if you can hear him, as well.”
Ella’s eyes darted around, and she chewed on her bottom lip. “This seems like something we should’ve had a longer conversation about.”
“I’ve found that no one’s ever ready to jump into the ring with a member of the Lupine. Besides, Henry would never let me hear the end of it if he’d known.”
Her brows pushed together to display her unhappiness. “How did you know I could communicate with animals? I was so careful here.”
Remus locked eyes with her. “Pardon? You can talk to animals?”
Ella shrank. “I figured that’s why you brought me to meet the Lupine. I don’t hear animals say words. I don’t hear voices,” she explained, as if she was a guilty child trying to hide her chocolate-stained fingers behind her apron. Then her voice lowered to just barely above a whisper. “It’s more that I can understand what they’re thinking, and they understand me. You really didn’t know?”
“I didn’t. But I’m glad to hear my assumptions weren’t entire faulty. I guessed that if you could send out your Listening, you might be able to twist it to Hear things normal people can’t. That you’ve been able to achieve this without any formal training?” He shook his head, perplexed.
“Talking to precious birds and squirrels isn’t the same as reasoning with the Lupine.” She tried not to let her voice sound accusatory, but kept her tone conversational. “I’ve seen articles that have photos of the Lupine tearing people out of their homes and dismembering them in the streets.”
“I’ve seen those pictures, as well. And I’ve seen humans do far worse, and yet we can still look each other in the eye. Imagine the rage the Lupine must feel. One day they’re walking to the grocer’s, then Malaura curses them, and they lose their families, friends, homes, and the language they’ve always been able to speak. Imagine seeing your wife marrying your best friend after she grieves on his shoulder over your loss. Only you’re not lost. You’re still there, fully aware of what’s going on. You can see it all, but suddenly, you’re not counted as a person.”
Ella considered his words, letting them fill her with compassion, which she always tried to keep on tap. “That’s… I never considered that perspective before. I wish things like that were printed in the paper.”
“You and me both. They’re a lonely bunch. And I happen to know what dismemberment story you’re talking about. I know the wolf, actually. Even though his wife wouldn’t let him in the house anymore after his curse set in, he still watched the property for her. One night, he caught a prowler, which is the man he dragged out into the street and dismembered with the rest of the Lupine. The papers didn’t cover that aspect.”
Ella covered her mouth and closed her eyes as Remus pulled the car to a stop at the end of the road. “That’s terrible! Wait, I thought you couldn’t hear them. Only that woman could.”
“That’s true. She goes by the name Red. Rafe is her wolf, so he’s attuned to the pack, and tells his stories to Red. On fortunate occasion, Red confides in me.”
“Why you?”
Remus turned in his seat and cast her a small smile. “Because I asked, and then I listened. Same as I did with you. For all my studying, I’ve learned there’s not many remedies more magical than that.”