| |
SATURDAY
Deja lifted her head from her pillow to check the time on her phone then flopped back down. She squeezed her eyes shut, regretting all the champagne she’d drunk the night before. Though she’d woken up a little before seven, her pounding headache prevented her from actually leaving her bed. She checked her phone—eight now, and unfortunately, Miles had to be at gym class by nine.
She attached a couple of pictures she’d taken the night before to a group text then sent it to Nina and Rodney. She examined them again, surprised by how pretty Nina looked all made up. In contrast, Deja looked drunk. Her eyes drooped the way her Mom’s did when she drank. She used to hate when her mom would drink because she was a mean drunk.
Her mom had been especially drunk the night Deja had run away. Deja had gone to sleep early, which was her new routine because fatigue wore her down all the time, and she usually slept restlessly knowing Ash would end up in her bed. But shortly after she’d gone to her room, her door crashed open, and the light switched on, jarring her from sleep.
“What the hell are you doing sleeping at eight-thirty on a Saturday night?” her mom yelled. “I work my butt off all night, and all your lazy ass does is sleep all the time. And eat. You fat ass. What’s wrong with you?”
Deja propped herself on her elbow. She had gained some weight but didn’t know why at that point. “I’m sorry, ma’am.”
Her mom glared at her with her blood-shot, drooping eyes. “Yeah, you are sorry. I should have aborted you. Keeping you was the worst decision I’ve made.”
Deja’s mom slammed the door shut, but Deja could hear her mom for what seemed like hours complaining to Ash about her. She’d curled up into her blankets and tried to disappear. She’d eventually fallen back asleep, but a hard tap on the chest woke her up.
Ash’s breath heated her face. “Get up,” he whispered.
Deja stood, and Ash thrust something into her hand while pushing her toward the bathroom. Her eyes stung when he switched on the bathroom light and locked the door. Her bare feet on the cold tile floor sent a chill up her body. She looked at the box in her hand. Ash had given her a pregnancy test.
He pointed to the box. “Pee on it, dammit!”
Deja lowered onto the toilet. Ash stood over six feet tall and was built like a linebacker after all the working out he did behind bars. Deja feared Ash and did whatever he forced her to. After she peed, she handed the stick back to his outstretched hand.
Ash punched his fist into his other hand. He handed her the positive test. “First appointment you get, you’re taking care of this.” Snatching it back, he stormed out of the bathroom.
Deja fought to hold in tears on her way back to bed. She didn’t want to imagine what would happen to her if her mom found out about Ash raping her, sure her mom wouldn’t see it that way. Grammy had always told Deja that all babies were blessings from God. And though terrified, Deja couldn’t turn down this blessing. So she’d packed all her bags and crept out the front door in the black of the night.
Deja groaned and rolled over in bed. To this day, she knew Grammy had been right. “Miles? You up yet?”
“Yeah, Mom. I’m playing my game,” Miles said.
Deja went to him, rubbed his head, and headed to the kitchen. “You need to eat and get ready for gym class.” She swallowed two pills for her headache before sinking down onto a chair, hands to her head.
Miles entered the kitchen. He placed two bowls on the table and filled them with cereal and milk. “You okay?”
Deja struggled to sit up straight. “I have a bit of a headache. But I’m okay. Thanks, buddy.” She grabbed her phone, brought up the picture she’d taken the night before, then showed Miles.
Miles laughed. “Uncle Rod’s fun. He dances good, too.”
“Well, don’t tell him that.”
Lowering his voice, Miles said, “Laila and Bree are so lucky that he’s their dad.” He looked down at his cereal and began eating.
From time to time, Miles made comments about the fact that he didn’t have a dad. Usually, Deja would say something and try to make Miles feel better. But this morning, because of the headache, the lack of sleep, or the memory of Ash and her mom, she didn’t have it in her.
She ate her cereal, not sure if she’d made the right decision about turning down Rodney’s wishes for them to be together. It would be hard on Nina, but it was not as though she even had much of a marriage with Rodney. Deja felt bad for Nina and didn’t want to ruin Bree and Laila’s family, but Deja’s main responsibility was to do what was best for Miles. Right now, she had no idea what that was.
***
DEJA’S HEAD STILL POUNDED, but she was glad she’d been able to get Miles to gym class in time. She’d head back home and lie down until he had to be picked back up two hours later. She waved to Miles, then he, Bree, and Laila disappeared down the hall, following the teen who taught their class.
Rodney stood next to her and kept his voice low in the crowd of parents. “Can we talk, Deja?”
Deja nodded. “I’ll meet you in your car.” Her phone beeped—a text from Kevin. “Don’t forget your time’s up. See ya soon.” She shuddered and stuffed the phone back into her purse. She’d had enough of Kevin’s threats.
She stepped out of the gym to an overcast sky, the cool morning air turning colder and colder as winter approached. Crossing her arms, she rubbed her biceps and hurried to Rodney’s truck. She climbed up to the seat and faced him. “So?”
Rodney reached over and squeezed Deja’s thigh. “I had fun last night. Sorry Nina had to ruin it and kick you out.”
“Miles and I had fun too,” Deja admitted.
Rodney stared deep into Deja’s eyes. “Look. I’m not going to keep pressing the issue, but I’d like to give us a real shot. I miss the time we spent together. I miss you. Business is steadily picking up, and I don’t need Nina the way I did before. I’m tired of her, and I’m planning on getting out of the house for a few hours this evening. I’d like to see you. We could get reacquainted. I’ll remind you of what we had.”
Well aware of the chemistry she had with Rodney, Deja was definitely tempted. It made her sick to her stomach to remember sex with Thompson, which she had done for the business in hopes of making more money. But if she were with Rodney and he more consistently helped her financially, she definitely wouldn’t do that again and could even look for a new job if need be. Maybe extra money from Rodney could even help her pay Kevin back. But Deja just didn’t know if she could really live with herself if she did that to Nina. “I’m just not sure, Rodney. Give me a few hours to think about it.”
“Okay. How about this? I’ll take Miles home with us after gym class, and he can spend the night. I know it’s not easy being a single parent. So whether we get together or not, you’ll have a night to yourself. How does that sound?”
Deja squeezed Rodney’s hand. “That actually sounds really nice. Thanks.”
Rodney leaned over, and Deja allowed him to kiss her—a soft sensation she’d missed. She left the car, heading back to hers. Her will to end things with Rodney steadily eroded. She had a serious decision to make and would have to live with the consequences, no matter what she chose.