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Holed up in the darkness of her room, Nina clutched her phone, waiting for Deja’s text. Thoughts of her brother, Damien, Kevin, and the mysterious person who’d been following her around bombarded her mind. Though she tried to piece the past days’ events together like a jigsaw puzzle, pieces were missing, and nothing made sense anymore.
She wished she had Isaiah or Damien to talk to. They used to always help her come up with a sensible solution to any problem she faced. But they’d both been taken from her eight years ago. Though she’d tried her hardest to distance herself from then, all the memories flooded back.
She could almost smell the sizzling bacon that accompanied the breakfast Damien had surprised her with that fateful morning. He’d spent the night at her tiny apartment in East Palo Alto, one of the only places she could afford that was close to the start-up where she worked.
Damien strolled into the room. “Breakfast.” He had his shirt off and his toned abs on display. He placed a tray on the bed next to Nina.
Nina straightened and bit her lip. “French toast, eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit? How’d I get so lucky to have you?”
Damien leaned down to kiss her, but Nina covered her mouth. “Haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
Damien moved her hand and pecked her lips. “I don’t care. I have a special day planned for us. So eat up, and let’s get going.”
Nina sighed. “Oh, Damien, that’s sweet, but I’m supposed to hang with Zay today and catch a movie.”
“Let’s call him and get his permission to reschedule your plans.” Damien dialed Isaiah on speaker, and after a short conversation, Isaiah had said, “Sure, we can cancel.”
“See you tomorrow after work, Zay?” Nina asked.
“We’ll see,” Isaiah had said before hanging up.
A special day it was. Damien and Nina had a romantic lunch at a farm-to-table restaurant in San Francisco that only served local produce. Then Damien drove and parked at the Golden Gate Bridge. They bundled up in their jackets and scarves and fought against the wind on their trek to the historic landmark that overlooked San Francisco and the Pacific Ocean. Crowds of people lined the bridge, and Damien led Nina to an open spot. In spite of the overcast sky, they had a beautiful view. Something about standing on top of the bridge exhilarated Nina.
Damien grabbed Nina’s hand and kissed it. “You know I love you, Nina.”
Nina kissed him on the lips. “And you know I love you too.” She didn’t know the direction of the conversation. They both knew how the other person felt. There were no pretenses in their relationship.
“Nina, look.” Damien pointed out to the dark-blue water.
Nina turned as a white sailboat moved past, with a flag blowing in the wind that read “Nina, Will You Marry Me?”
Tears welled up in Nina’s eyes. She faced Damien, who knelt and extended a ring.
“Yes,” Nina said. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
The only thing that would complete the most perfect day of her life was telling Zay, so they’d called him once back in the car. But he didn’t answer. Nina couldn’t wait to show her brother the engagement ring, so they’d gone straight to his apartment, thinking the three of them could catch a movie afterward. But he didn’t answer the door. Of course, Nina had a key, so after seeing his car in his parking spot, they let themselves in.
His apartment was eerily quiet and neat as though he’d expected company. After calling his name and only hearing silence in return, they’d found him lying in his bed, two empty pill bottles on his dresser next to a note. He appeared to be sleeping, but Nina had known he’d never wake up.
The phone rang, snapping Nina out of her thoughts. Her mom rarely called her, so Nina answered immediately. “Mom, is everything okay?”
“Nina, I need you to come over. Now.”
Nina’s heart pounded. “What’s going on?”
“We can talk when you get here. Just hurry your butt up.”
Her mom hung up, and Nina rolled over in bed then stood. She had no idea why her mom wanted her to visit, but she’d made it seem urgent. Nina didn’t really want to be alone in her house anyway, so getting out until Rodney returned wouldn’t be a bad idea.
Nina threw on black leggings, an over-sized black T-shirt, and a gray zip-up hoodie then left the house. A manila envelope rested on the welcome mat outside her door with “FOR NINA’S EYES ONLY” written in large black print. Nina ran to the sidewalk, searching for anyone watching her. But she didn’t spot anyone. The police had said to call if anything else happened, so she took out her phone. Her finger punched the nine, then the one, but it lingered over the second one.
She had to make sure the envelope didn’t contain anything incriminating, so she hurried back to her doorstep and ripped it open. An old family picture of her, her dad, her mom, and Isaiah had the words, “Happy Anniversary” written on it—the same handwriting as “Die” in her notebook.
She had no idea who would leave such a thing, and if it could be related to what she’d done to Kevin. Since it didn’t seem incriminating, she could call the police, but first things first. She had to make sure her mom was all right. She hopped into her car and sped away.
***
NINA JOGGED UP THE path to the house where her mom lived then pounded on the door.
A young, unfamiliar woman opened it. “Hi, how can I help you?”
“I’m here to see Bernice Henderson. I’m her daughter.”
The woman frowned. “I’m sorry, but she’s gone—”
“What do you mean gone? She called me less than an hour ago and asked me to come visit her.”
“A man came, and she left with him,” the woman said.
“What man? That doesn’t make any sense.” A chill coursed through Nina’s body. Her mom never left with anyone, and Nina feared it could somehow be the person stalking her.
Dr. Lawrence appeared in the doorway. “Mrs. Taylor, hello.”
Nina struggled to compose herself. “Dr. Lawrence, my mom called and asked me to come here. Do you know where she is?”
Dr. Lawrence pointed past Nina. “There she is now.”
Nina’s breath caught in her throat. It couldn’t be. She blinked a couple of times. They were still there: her mom strolling down the path, leaning against Damien, who held up a dark-blue umbrella.
“I’m here, Nina,” her mom said with a sly smile.
Nina couldn’t talk, focused on the man who had been her best friend, her confidante, the love of her life. Despite his initial attempts after, she hadn’t seen him since her brother’s funeral. Now, unlike her, he appeared fit and healthy. His fade had receded a little, and there were a few grays, but he looked gorgeous in a pair of blue jeans, a green polo shirt, and a black jacket. She blinked hard, not sure if she was imagining him.
“Nina, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d be here. Your mom told me you only come on Wednesday, and I didn’t want her to be alone today.” Damien seemed genuinely apologetic.
Nina forced her gaze from Damien and to her mom. “Mom, is this why you wanted me to come over?”
“Damien stopped by for a visit, and I thought a walk would be nice. That new med kicked in, and I’m doing better. We circled the block a couple of times, and I showed him all the new developments. Downtown San Jose is definitely changing.”
The bizarre events from the morning, the sight of Damien, and the relief that her mom was okay all mixed in Nina, overwhelming her. Suddenly lightheaded, she held her hand out to steady herself. But without a structure to hold her up, she wobbled, and her knees buckled. Damien caught her in his arms before she fell.
“Why don’t you come inside for a minute?” he said.
Nina inhaled the familiar scent of Damien’s musk cologne. He’d worn it since college. Her body shivered. This was the man that she’d once been inseparable from. Completely overwhelmed, she couldn’t hold in her tears.
“It’s okay, Nina,” Damien whispered.
“It’s not.” Nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay. Being in Damien’s arms but knowing she could never be with him again felt like torture. She couldn’t understand why her mom would be so cruel and do this to her.
Her mom led Nina and Damien down the hall to her room. Inside, her mom sat on her bed, and Nina took her usual seat in the chair by the desk.
Damien kneeled in front of Nina. His forehead wrinkled with concern. “Are you okay? I know it’s a hard day for all of us.”
Nina started to lie and say that the anniversary of Isaiah’s death had overwhelmed her, that she just needed to go home and rest. But as she looked into Damien’s soft brown eyes, all the lies vanished. She’d known this man since childhood, and she’d never intentionally lied to him. She couldn’t start now. “I killed a man. Now someone’s after me. We caught him in my window this morning, and he left a picture at my door that said happy anniversary.” There was a huge release as she said the words—the truth—but she didn’t know what would happen now.
Her mom rose from the bed. “Nina, my God. What are you saying?”
Damien stood too. He glanced at Nina’s mom then back at Nina. “What?”
“It’s true.” Nina covered her face with her hands.
“There’s no way that can be true,” her mom said.
“Yes, Mom. I killed someone.” Sure, Deja would be upset, but this had gone on too long.
“Nina, your mom told me you had some mental health problems last year. Is this related? Are you feeling confused right now?” Damien’s eyes were wide and concerned, like he had no idea what the hell was going on.
“No, I’m not confused. I’m guilty. I thought I could go on hiding it, but I can’t. I need to turn myself in to the police.” Nina grabbed her phone out of her purse.
Damien grabbed her hand. “Whoa. Let’s slow down. Maybe you should talk to your doctor or someone first.”
Nina inhaled a deep breath. She had promised Dr. Austin that she’d talk with her if anything serious came up. “You’re right. I can call my therapist first.” Nina dialed Dr. Austin and left her voice message.
After hanging up, silence filled the room. Nina hadn’t planned this. She was supposed to go on with her life and be with Rodney and the girls. But the guilt from Isaiah’s death, and the guilt from killing Kevin, and the sight of Damien—she’d never be able to put the past behind her. She’d have to confess in such a way as to not implicate Deja, though. She had enough of a head about her to be aware of that. But for her, the time of reckoning had come.
Her ringing phone broke the silence. Dr. Austin’s number appeared on the phone.
Damien held out his hand. “Can I speak with her?”
Nina gave him the phone. “Sure.”
Damien answered then walked outside the room.
Nina stared at her mom, who looked to be in complete shock. “Why would you tell me to come, knowing Damien’s here?”
“I’m sorry, Nina. It’s been so hard watching you be so miserable these past years. Rodney’s horrible to you, and I want you to be happy.”
“I don’t deserve happiness. Not after what I did to Zay. Tricking me to come here has made everything so much worse.”
The door opened, and Damien walked back “Dr. Austin wants to see you, Nina. She’s cleared her schedule and is waiting for us.”
Nina stood. “Okay.”
Damien held up Nina’s phone. “She suggested I keep your phone until after we see her. Make sure you don’t end up calling anyone you’d regret. Is it cool if I hang on to it?”
Expecting to hear from Deja at some point and Rodney when he returned home, she didn’t want anyone to stop her from turning herself in. After she talked with Dr. Austin, she had to do it. She shut off her phone then handed it to Damien. “That’s fine.”
Nina’s mom hugged her tight. “Do you want me to come with you?”
Nina hugged her mom back, knowing it’d be the last time she’d be able to do that after she was sentenced to prison. “No, Mom. Bye.”
Nina tiptoed down the hall like it was the green mile.
“Are you okay, Mrs. Taylor?” Dr. Lawrence asked at the front door.
“She’s fine—a little emotional because it’s the anniversary of her brother’s passing—but fine,” Damien said.
“Are you sure, Mrs. Taylor?” Dr. Lawrence asked.
Nina nodded. “I’m better now.”
“Why don’t you leave your car here?” Damien suggested.
Nina wouldn’t need a car behind bars. “Sure.”
Damien held the passenger-side door to his car open, and Nina slumped into the seat. She closed her eyes, ready for it to all be over.