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Deja wore the carpet thin, pacing her living room while Twilight: New Moon played on her muted television screen. Getting fired had been completely unexpected, and it still hurt. When she’d come home, she’d searched online for both housing and jobs in Washington. She had no idea how long it would take to actually find either. The uncertainty terrified her.
First things first. She had to pack. Since she only had a small apartment and didn’t own many things, it shouldn’t be difficult. But explaining to Miles that they were leaving would be. She didn’t have the words to explain to her son that she’d made terrible decisions and had to relocate for her sanity and their safety.
The phone rang, and she grabbed it from the coffee table.
“Is Nina with you?” Rodney asked, slight panic in his voice.
Deja furrowed her brows. “No. Why?”
“I came home, and she’s not here. I’ve called her phone, but she’s not answering. I called her dad, but he hasn’t talked to her either. Since it’s the anniversary of her brother’s death, I’m worried.”
“Why? Did you want to have sex with her again?” Though acting completely immature, Deja couldn’t help herself.
“What I do with my wife is none of your business. This is serious. Some weird shit is going on. As you apparently know, someone was at my window, watching Nina and me. I can’t help thinking this is connected to whatever has been up with the two of you. It’s time you come clean.”
“How dare you act like I have something to do with any of that? How would I even know you were having sex? According to you, you two didn’t do that anymore.”
“Things change.”
“Change? It hasn’t even been a week since you said you were divorcing her and wanted to be with me. Or did you forget so quickly?”
“I wish I could forget, actually. That would have been a terrible mistake. Sure, it was fun, but it definitely wouldn’t have lasted.”
Though she didn’t want them to, the words stung. “Like I said, Nina’s not here. I have nothing else to say to you.”
After ending the call, Deja slammed the phone down on the coffee table. Rodney had talked a good game, but his actions proved otherwise. He probably never intended to leave Nina, and though she didn’t want it to, that irked Deja. He’d been using her as much as she’d been using him.
She couldn’t worry about that, though. Nina’s whereabouts concerned her more. Knowing how close Nina had been to her brother, Deja could imagine how hard the anniversary of his death must be for her. Though she didn’t remember the exact date her Grammy had died, the feeling of hurt and loss was the same, even after decades.
Three worst-case scenarios came to mind: either Nina had done something drastic like harming herself, she’d gotten into a state where she’d been involuntarily hospitalized, or whoever had been stalking her had gotten her. She pushed those thoughts aside, hoping it was something else.
Deja picked up her phone and rang Nina’s, which went straight to voicemail. Anxiety filled her stomach, like the way she felt at the top of a roller coaster before it charged down. If something happened to Nina, it would ruin everything. Deja would have to find her somehow and make sure she was okay. Her trembling hand grabbed her phone again and dialed.
“Deja? Hey, there,” her mom said. “I wasn’t sure if I would hear from you again. After what you told me, I understand why you left home and have so much anger toward me.”
Deja resumed pacing the small space. “I didn’t call to talk about that. I wanted to ask you something.”
“Ask me anything.”
“How did you stop drinking and change who you were? It’s like you’re a different person.”
“Everyone is different, but for me, I first had to get to the point where I realized what I had being doing for years was not working, and that I had to stop fooling myself thinking it was. But when I knew I had to stop drinking, I admitted I couldn’t do it by myself, and I asked God to help me. I’d abandoned God out of anger because your Grammy died, and I couldn’t understand why a loving God would take her away so early. I realized I had been drinking to fill the void that Grammy’s passing left, but the alcohol turned into poison, not a cure.”
“I’ve done something to my friend that I regret.” Deja’s voice quivered. “I don’t want to be who I’ve been anymore. But I don’t think I can make it right. I’m really worried about her.”
“As long as you’re both breathing, you can try to make it right. As a teenager I gave my mom such a headache. I rebelled in every possible way. I just wish she were alive now and that she could see that I’ve grown into the person she raised me to be. That’s what every mom wants: to know her children are happy and taken care of. That’s what I’ve always wanted for you, though my selfishness and alcoholism didn’t allow me to always show you that. Do you think you can try to make it up to your friend?”
After what Deja had done to Nina, she didn’t think so. “I guess I can try. I’m going to go now.”
Deja doubted she had it in her to try to make things right with Nina. She wasn’t that brave. But what her mom said rang true. Most moms want what’s best for their children, but sometimes their own issues get in the way. That was exactly what was happening with Deja now, and she didn’t want Miles to have to pay for it.
Deja needed Nina to turn up soon and be okay. She switched off the movie then grabbed her purse and keys. She’d have to be proactive and protect herself and Miles. She had to buy moving boxes, and she’d drive by Nina’s place in the hope that she’d be back home.