DARCY was in his man cave: his father’s barn office in which he now practically resided, like it or not.
Adrian kicked back in the leather chaise lounge. “So I gather there’s trouble with the missus?”
Darcy squinted at him. “My mother?”
Adrian laughed. “Since when does anyone refer to your mother as a missus?”
Darcy just shook his head. “Hence the confusion on my part. What the hell are you talking about?”
“The redheaded stepchild. The elephant in the room. The object of your desire, about which you are for some baffling reason in complete denial.”
Darcy pulled another banker’s box full of files toward him and started sorting through it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Aha. So you’re going to play that game, are you? Try this on for size.” Adrian casually looked down at his nails as he spoke. “Caroline is up at dawn, fixes herself up for a great day with Darcy, or so Emma tells me. She goes to your home, meets the family, is having a perfectly fine time of it. And then—”
“And then?” Darcy wouldn’t look at Adrian, instead burying his head in the box full of extremely interesting paperwork from twenty years ago.
“And then she’s back at the palace, bawling her eyes out, inconsolable. Or so Emma tells me.”
“Oh God.”
“Yep. So, would you mind filling in the blanks? Did you run over her dog? Beat her mercilessly with a banker’s box full of pay stubs? Force her to inhale too much dust from this musty old office?”
Darcy got up from his distraction and walked over to the very couch that was the scene of the crime and, resigned, plunked himself down. “I don’t know what to say.”
Adrian looked over at him and arched his brow in curiosity. “How about we start at what the hell?”
“Yeah, that,” Darcy said. “Well, it’s complicated.”
“What isn’t complicated in life?”
Darcy nodded. “So when my father died, I took it personally. I mean if I hadn’t been out playing around in America with you, I’d have been here to help him, and maybe he wouldn’t have had that heart attack, and maybe he’d still be here right now.”
Adrian sat up a bit. “You do know you have no control over whether someone lives or dies, don’t you?”
Darcy sighed. “Of course I know that. But maybe if I had been taking life more seriously, I would have taken on this manor and all my father’s holdings and spared him the stress, and so maybe he’d have been fine.”
“Darcy,” Adrian said, looking straight at him. “You father wasn’t suffering, taking care of his estate. It’s what he enjoyed doing. He could have hired someone to do every last bit of it, and he could have up and traveled the world. Or sat in a comfortable chair, reading books. He chose to do this because it was what he loved to do.”
“But I feel guilty.”
“Because you didn’t live your father’s life for him? Sorry, my friend, but that is absolutely preposterous. Who does that? Besides, when you were working for me, was it all fun and games?”
A half smile broke on Darcy’s face. “Well, in a way, yes.”
“Okay, so we had a lot of fun. But it’s been serious too,” Adrian said. “My God, I couldn’t have done whatever it is I’ve done without you by my side. So please know that I am deeply grateful to you for your help, service, and most of all friendship over the years. You have been a vital cog in the wheel that is the royal family of Monaforte. And don’t think I didn’t realize the whole time that you didn’t need to do this. That you could go off and be the Marquess of Weltenham—Lord Darcy, if you will. Although I know you’d have been bored out of your skull.”
Darcy rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it. I hate bloody damned numbers. And all I’ve done for days is pore through receipts and bills and charts and statistics, and I want to pull my eyes right out of their sockets.”
“Please don’t. Would be a bloody mess. So now that we’ve solved that, what say we do a double date, just me, Emma, you, and Caroline?” Adrian raised his eyebrows and made his eyes wide, as if that was going to sell his plan more easily.
But Darcy shook his head vigorously. “Uh-uh. Oh, no. Absolutely no can do.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Edouardo.”
“Your brother? What on earth could your brother have to do with your not seeing Caroline?”
Darcy buried his head in a cushion. He could almost still smell Caroline’s perfume in it if he focused hard enough.
Adrian got up out of his chair and went over to the sofa, plopping down next to Darcy. “Am I going to have to tickle it out of you like we did when we were kids?”
“That would be weird.”
“I’m willing to risk it,” Adrian said. “I’m not willing to take no for an answer. You have turned completely strange on us, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it. And I am going to do so before I have to show up at a meeting with my mother in an hour. So spit it out.”
“The death of my father,” Darcy began. “It brought out something dark in Edouardo. I think it’s the whole primogeniture thing. I get the feeling he’s deeply bitter that the estate, the title, the whole thing goes to me. Like he feels that just because I was born first I don’t deserve it any more than he does.”
Adrian nodded.
“And to a degree, well, he’s right,” Darcy said. “It’s antiquated, and I can see how frustrating it is to him. But will I be generous with him and Clementine? Of course I will. I will share equally in everything that is passed down. But I resent being treated like I’m the bad guy in this scenario. I just happened to be the firstborn, and in this country, to the firstborn go the assets.”
“Well, that sucks,” Adrian said. “And I completely understand. I’m sure my brothers aren’t thrilled with the deal. Although in my case it comes with a lot more demands, which I’d imagine they’re happy to not bother with. Certainly Zander. I don’t know about Christopher or Peter. So I hear ya. But what I don’t get is what this has to do with Caroline.”
Darcy pounded his fist into the arm of the chair. “God, I don’t even want to talk about it.”
Adrian remained silent for a few minutes, then he held up his finger. “I’ve got it. How about this? We mime it out. Like a game of charades. So you don’t have to speak.”
Darcy cracked a smile. “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”
“I aim to please. Now spill.”
“All right, fine. But this is between you and me. I don’t want you breathing a word of this to anyone.”
Adrian nodded. “Did I tell anyone when you got busted smoking weed by the headmaster’s wife back in boarding school?”
“Wait a minute.” Darcy put his hands on his hips, indignant. “You got busted too!”
“Yeah, so I didn’t tell anyone about either of us.”
“Now there’s a vote of confidence that reassures me.”
“Oh go on. I’m your best friend. Since when have you not told me things?”
“Since it might hurt someone else’s reputation.”
“Aha... The plot thickens. There’s a reputation at stake. Come on, Darce. You’ve got me on the edge of my seat.” He sat up and shifted forward, just to be literal.
“So Caroline and I were having a perfectly fine time of it. We kind of got off on the wrong foot. Well, it was a very good foot, actually. But it was a bad idea.”
“So you two went at it but then you regretted it.” Adrian nodded in understanding.
“Like rabbits.”
“But then?”
“You’re going to think this is so uncool you might not talk to me ever again.”
“Please don’t tell me you changed your mind because you felt guilty.”
“I changed my mind because I felt guilty.”
Adrian took his fist and pretended to pound it against Darcy’s head. “Are you daft, man?”
“Sorry. I have a conscience!”
“Conscience? That is downright ludicrous. You’re there with a woman you’ve got the hots for, she’s gorgeous and right there and willing to seal the deal, for God’s sake, and you close down the shop instead?”
“Well, when you put it that way...”
“So then what? Because I know she said she was perfectly happy until she came home hysterical. Was there more?”
Darcy heaved a sigh, even bigger than the last several he’d been heaving throughout this conversation, the kind of sigh you heave when you have to own up to being a really huge loser in the eyes of your best friend. “So then we’re in here working. And I’m trying to avoid any close contact with her because I know I’m going to cave in if given the chance. And then she forces some sneaky close contact on me when I least expect it, and sure enough, I caved.”
“Okay, so we’re back to going at it like rabbits?”
“To say the least. Rabbits but with more urgency.”
“And the problem was?”
“Yeah. So. Clearly Caroline and I have chemistry. So much so that I can’t seem to control myself around her. And while I wasn’t controlling myself around her—”
“Something gets in the way. But what would it be?” he said as a horse whinnied down below. “Can’t be one of those four-legged creatures.” He put his finger to his lips, pondering.
“Try the two-legged variety.”
“Ooooh. So someone walked in on you?”
“Not just someone,” Darcy said. “My idiot brother. On the warpath. Starts yelling about Caroline being a gold digger.”
“Ouch. That was entirely uncalled for. What the hell is up with him?”
Darcy shook his head. “I told you, he’s got this chip on his shoulder, and he’s now dumping on Caroline. Who didn’t take it well, by the way.”
“And he did this while you were in the middle of—” Adrian motioned with his fist in a forward thrust.
“Oh yeah.” Darcy grimaced. “Cock-in-it interruptus, the bastard.”
“Ouch,” Adrian said again. “And here you were needing that stress relief so badly. Damn. That brother of yours needs to have a talking-to.”
“Don’t you dare,” Darcy said. “I’m not speaking to him at all, but if I decide to, trust me, my words will be well chosen and incisive. I’m so furious with him I can’t even begin to utter a thing to him.”
“In the meantime, you need to apologize to poor Caroline.”
“Pretty sure that isn’t going to help matters much. She was out of here so fast I wondered if she has some cheetah blood in her.”
“And you didn’t go after her?”
“What was I going to do? I had my pants down around my ankles; she was zipped and gone before I could find the button on my jeans.”
“How’d she get back to town?”
“Hell if I know. All I know is I looked and she was gone.”
The both heard a voice from down below. “Darcy darling?”
“Mum?”
She popped her head around the corner of the door. “Oh, hello, Adrian. You’re looking well. Love does that to you.”
Adrian smiled. Darcy resisted sticking a finger down his throat. Love, romance. It was all a giant distraction and a pain in his stressed-out, overworked butt.
“I’ve got good news for you, sweetheart,” his mother said as she planted a kiss on his cheek.
“What’s that, Mum? I could use some good news.”
“Perfect,” she said, her arms outstretched, hands on his shoulders. “You look so exhausted and weary. I have just the antidote for you.”
“And that is?” The next flight out to Ibiza would be too much to ask.
“I’ve arranged for a lovely dinner for two tomorrow night, just you and Caroline. I got a quiet table at Trattoria Uccelli. The two of you, some fabulous Italian food, an intimate setting. It’ll be just what the doctor ordered.”
Lady Charlotte beamed at her son, who looked as if he was about to have teeth extracted, minus the painkiller.