THANK God for heavy draperies. Caroline pulled a pillow over her head to block that one meager slice of daylight poking through the center point of the curtains, which did indeed block out the painful light that was threatening to cause an implosion behind her eyeballs.
When she awoke again three hours later, she knew what she had to do, and after showering and brushing her teeth repeatedly, she tracked down Emma to break her news.
“It’s time for me to return home,” she told her friend.
Emma stared at her in surprise. “Why would you do such a thing? We’ve got so much work to do. You’re doing an amazing job. I’ve had people ask about your rates even.”
“I’m sure that’s only because I’m your friend,” Caroline said. “It’s been fun living in the shadow of your fantasy, my friend, but it can’t last. This isn’t my world, as lovely as it is. I’m a meat-and-potatoes gal living in a caviar-and-champagne world. As much as I adore champagne—make that adored until last night, and I really don’t care for caviar—it just doesn’t seem to be a good fit.”
“Did something happen last night?” Emma said. “I know you were going to that party with Darcy’s sister. Did she say something mean to you?”
“God, no. Clementine’s not the problem at all. She’s great. It’s all the other stuff.”
“Like what other stuff?”
Caroline heaved a sigh. “It just gets so complicated. I mean, God forbid it just be boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, and they all lived happily ever after, end of story. There’s all this other stuff and other people and nothing ever just works out without problems. I don’t have a taste for that, to tell you the truth. My life was so much easier when I didn’t care about a guy. I had fun, I went about my business, and then I’d find someone else when things got murky.”
“Did you ever think that something might be worth fighting for?”
Caroline gave her a scowl. “If my head weren’t throbbing behind my eyeballs already, that concept would make the blood pound that much harder in my skull. Maybe you forget from whence I sprang?”
Emma shook her head. “Just because your mother didn’t have a good track record doesn’t mean you have to share her fate. It’s up to you to make choices that are right for you.”
“Yeah, well, I’m thinking returning to my apartment and finding a paying gig somewhere is probably the right thing for me,” Caroline said. “I promise I’ll be back for the wedding. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. But right now maybe a little distance would be a good thing for me.”
“Distance from me?”
“Oh gosh no, Ems. You’re the only thing keeping me here,” Caroline said. “Distance from all the complications. I just don’t see how I can be here with sort of this disconnected connection to the place, not knowing people but kind of knowing them and just wandering about, showing up places where Darcy will be. He’ll be there with a girlfriend, and it’ll just break my heart too much for that to keep happening.”
“Ah. So Darcy showed up with a date, did he?”
Caroline nodded, hanging her head in sadness. Of course she didn’t dare tell even Emma about what his brother had done. That would be too humiliating.
“I can’t imagine where Darcy even found a date for this thing. Adrian tells me he wasn’t even going to attend it at all.”
“Looks like he changed his mind. Because she was gorgeous, and they were holding hands, and oh well for me.”
“I’m not going to keep coming up with excuses for Darcy. He doesn’t deserve them anymore. He must be in a strange place in his head, and it’s hard to understand that until you’re in that position,” Emma said. “When people lose a parent, it often puts them in a life crisis and they reevaluate everything. I’m just sorry you got stuck in the middle of that because you two did seem to hit it off so well.”
“Yeah, well, I hit it off with a very cute dog at a café last week when Gareth and I had lunch too, and that relationship didn’t go very far either.”
“Why don’t you take a few days to think it over?” Emma said. “At least we can wrap up projects we have going, and Gareth can help determine what needs to be transitioned to someone else.”
“I’m sorry, Ems, I don’t want to leave you in the lurch. I just feel quite adrift and can’t figure myself out.”
“Totally understand your worries, honey,” Emma said, giving her friend a big hug. “And I wish we could just go bop Darcy over the head with a pipe and maybe have him start thinking clearly again.”
Caroline got up and paced. “I know a part of this has to do with Darcy,” she said. “Well, make that a big part of it. But it’s more than that. I guess I’ve never really considered the rest of my life, and now my life is looking at me and wondering when the hell I’m ever going to do something more than just be that girl.”
“That girl?”
“That girl who shows up at parties, who has fun with the bartender, who makes out with someone and maybe sees him one other time, or maybe not, but then is on to the next one. The girl who takes a job, then gets bored with it and takes another one. The girl who can’t commit, I suppose. Who can’t seem to commit to much of anything in life.”
“Wow, that’s a heavy burden to carry around. No wonder it’s got you weighed down.”
Caroline shrugged and flopped down in a chair, out of steam. “Maybe Darcy’s midlife crisis has enveloped me too. Leave it to me to not even commit to my own angst but rather tag along with someone else’s.”
Emma scruffed Caroline’s hair with her fingers. “I think things will turn out just fine, my friend. Just a few little bumps in the road. After all, no growth without some effort, right?”
“Meh. I’m sort of over growth, if this is what it does to you. I’ve been so moody I feel like a hormonal teenager.”
Emma laughed. “Lest you forget, I witnessed you firsthand as a hormonal teenager. And I can promise you, you’re not nearly as bad this time.”
“Wow, so reassuring.”
“So enough of the navel-gazing. I suppose my timing is impeccable, but I’ve got a gown-fitting today. I know it might not be the ideal activity for you, feeling so emotionally under-the-weather and all, but if you’re up for it, I’d sure love to get your input.”
“As long as it involves absolutely no men, I’m there.”
“Well, I do have Gareth lined up.”
“Gareth doesn’t count. He’s too nice to fit under that category, so I’ll give him a pass.”
“In that case, let’s get to it. I arranged for us to go to the designer’s studio because I didn’t want anyone at the palace to have a sneak peak.”
~*~
“Rumor has it you’d castrate me if I weren’t already a thoroughly nonthreatening man,” Gareth said with a laugh to Caroline.
“Nah. Only if your family name was Weltenham. Then all bets would be off, and you might want to steer clear of any sharp objects with me in the room,” she said. “But thanks, I knew I could trust you to make light of my life’s trauma. And I’m grateful for it. I’ve come to the conclusion that the less seriously I take myself, the better off we all are.”
“Good advice for anyone.”
The two were waiting for Emma to come out of the dressing salon. The designer, Domenico Acquati, an up-and-coming Monafortian who’d recently been hailed for dressing a Hollywood starlet for awards season, had closed his studio for the afternoon so that no interlopers would happen upon the soon-to-be princess of Monaforte modeling her bridal-gown choice.
Caroline reclined in the gray suede sofa and took a deep breath. It was almost impossible not to relax in this studio, a study in complete neutrality with gray furniture, soft gray walls, and gray flooring. She felt like she ought to go into downward dog, or better yet shavasana. Except when it came that time in yoga, Caroline had a tendency to fall asleep, which was probably not the goal of that yoga resting phase. And it would be especially rude for Domenico to find her snoring on his hand-stitched sofa. But she made a mental note to get herself back to yoga as soon as she returned home. And to consider a career as a yoga instructor, because being around soothing colors and music all day would probably be therapeutic for her.
They heard rustling and then from behind a gray—of course—curtain came Emma, Domenico following behind and holding up her train.
Caroline caught her breath. Her friend looked so... so royal.
Emma mounted a modeling platform in the center of the studio while her friend remained speechless as she took in the exquisite pleated silk organza gown with appliquéd ivory Chantilly lace. The wide-neckline bodice had a cinched waist with a formfitting lace overlay and short sleeves. As Emma turned slightly to model it, Caro could see the back had a deep V-cut and narrow vertical pleats that opened up to the accentuated waist above the wide skirt and a train that extended some fourteen feet. Atop her head was a silk organza veil edged in tulle that trailed halfway as long as her train, held down for the moment with a loaner tiara.
“The real one will go on for the wedding,” Emma said to reassure them.
“I am so very speechless,” Caroline said. “I wish I could run up and give you a hug, but I don’t want to mess anything up. You are going to be the world’s most perfect bride.”
“Domenico, you’ve outdone yourself,” Gareth said.
“I can’t take my eyes off you, Ems!”
“Well, you’ll need to in a minute because Domenico’s got your attendant’s gown ready to try on too, if you’re game.”
Caroline knew that on the inside she felt exactly opposite of how Emma must be feeling at right then, but she didn’t want to spoil the moment so agreed to don the dress.
While Emma changed back into her street clothes, Caro took her turn fancying-up.
She came out of the changing area looking like a new woman.
“Ta-da!” she said, radiant in a gown with a soft mint-green layered chiffon skirt and a sleeveless bodice with a crisscross multicolored satin weave and a fitted waistline in a satin harlequin pattern.
“Oh, Caro,” Emma said, clasping her hands in delight. “That green, with your hair and your eyes. You look scrumptious.”
“Honey, that man-who-shall-not-be-named will drop dead when he sees you in this,” Gareth said.
Emma gave her friend a thumbs-up on that. “He won’t be able to resist you.”
Caroline shook her head. “Not to worry because I will be so busy admiring myself in this dress I won’t even notice his presence.”
Emma and Gareth looked at each other and nodded, knowing at some point Darcy’s resolve was going to have to crack. And this might be just the tool to bring that about.