CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE

On the journey of months and months back to Earth, Mike fretted. He’d spent time checking progress in Hrrrm. More religionists had gone bankrupt. Brux and a team of gay accountants monitored all the changes.

The colony had an even greater influx of LGBT people. Now reveling in good jobs, vast wealth, and a world as secure as could be made. Factories were being built, trade was expanding, and the latest crops were flourishing. There were plans to terraform the whole planet. Hot and cold running water was the latest luxury. They’d even built a heated swimming pool and fielded a Death Ball team. The team had won two games and lost two. Mike was pleased to see, no one had died. Brux was the coach when he could get time from running the galaxy. Brux often burbled about the star of the gay team, Kre, a new arrival, who according to the VEQ, was totally hot and totally willing to hold still for Brux’s ministrations. Mike figured it was a start.

Cak had been sentenced to a regular prison colony. Brux said, “He was still cursing you as they dragged him away.”

Mike said, “Being an asshole is another universal construct.”

Mike wasn’t sure his and Joe’s so-called luxury accommodations on the ship back to Earth were that much different from his cell on the way to Hrrrm. Cold grey metal predominated. They had more rooms and the ability to come and go as they pleased, but mostly the difference in their suite was bunches of multi-colored squishy pillows and two chairs made of perfillian wood. And they had wild, mad sex as often as they wished.

Near Pluto they switched from Pav’s ship to Joe’s original one that had brought him to Earth. After making sure all the radar suppression devices were suppressing radar as they hoped and needed, they landed in the early morning in a cold, gray fog and used Joe’s flotation device to float to the Chicago shoreline unobserved.

They ate a late breakfast at Eat-Eat-Eat, Mike’s favorite breakfast place on the near North side of Chicago. They took a train out to the suburbs and his mom and dad’s place. It was a short walk from the train station to his mom’s house.

As they turned onto his mom’s street, Mike’s eyes filled with tears.

It was his grandmother’s birthday. Mike knew the whole family would be gathered for the party. They did every year. There was no point in calling ahead. Mike rang the bell.

Jack answered the door. When he saw Mike, Jack gaped for a second, then flung himself at Mike like a puppy, hugging, nuzzling, making little yips of joy. Jack pulled Joe into the hug. “You’re back. Hey, everybody, looks who’s here.”

Jack pulled them into the living room. As they walked in arm-in-arm, Jack murmured, “How was the galaxy?”

“About average, I guess.” Mike found hearing and speaking English delicious to his ear and tongue.

His Aunt Rose leapt up from the couch and rushed to crush him in an embrace. “Where have you been?” she demanded.

Mike’s mom came in from the kitchen. She clutched a casserole. Jack managed to grab it and put it on an end table before she dropped it.

“Michael?”

Being in her arms, Mike did weep. His dad came in from barbecuing in the backyard, saw Mike and joined the tearful embrace. Joe was greeted with open arms along with strange looks from Mike’s mom and dad. There were tearful reunions and tons of questions. Mike’s mom put an end to them by saying, “Let’s just celebrate.”

Jack introduced his girlfriend, Janet. She shook Mike’s hand then Joe’s and said, “I’ve heard so much about both of you.”

In the den, he found Meganvilia and his husband Ray. Meganvilia leapt up from the center of the couch. He pulled Mike into his gargantuan embrace. Then he hugged Joe. Ray, Meganvilia’s husband, did it in the reverse order.

Meganvilia asked, “So what happened?”

Mike said, “Defeated evil, became the richest and most powerful man in the galaxy, and saved a zillion gay people.”

Meganvilia looked at Joe who shrugged and nodded.

Meganvilia said, “So, the usual. I wouldn’t have expected less.”

“How is everyone here?” Mike asked.

Meganvilia said, “About the same. Hugo’s an asshole at the restaurant. We kept up your apartment. Didn’t change a thing. We always had hope. And Jack needed a base in the city. Mrs. Benton is eager to have you back.”

“I’m glad to be back.”

“Did you want your old job?”

Mike said, “I’m not sure what’s next. I think I just want to be in my old apartment for a while.”

On their way out, he stopped and gave Meganvilia a cutting from a perfillian wood tree along with a list of instructions.

They promised Mike’s mom and dad to answer all their questions at a quiet dinner the next night. They promised the same to Meganvilia and Ray at a meal at Mike and Joe’s place for the night after that. They planned a double date with Jack and Janet. When they entered his apartment house, Mrs. Benton rushed out to greet them.

Once they made it to their apartment, Jack looked around the shabby old place and smiled. Meganvilia and Mrs. Benton had kept it dusted. Jack was spending the night at Janet’s.

Mike and Joe just held each other for what felt like hours. Mike let his husband’s other-worldly tingle surround him. They slipped into bed. Mike thought they might make mad, passionate love for hours once they returned, but he could barely keep his eyes open. He fell asleep in Joe’s arms. Home at last.