part0013

When I get home, my dad is sitting on the couch, watching a basketball game, but he mutes it as soon as he sees me.

“Jack? You okay?” he asks, his brows furrowed with concern and his mouth turned down in a frown.

I don’t say anything else as I sit down next to him. I can feel the weight of his stare as he waits for me to elaborate, but I can’t find the words. Instead, I stare unseeingly at the TV. I feel like my whole world is crashing down around me, and I’m trying to sort through everything that I’m feeling, but the only thing I can process is how much the thought of Paige leaving makes me feel dead inside.

“Jack.” My dad speaks softly and puts his hand on my shoulder. “What’s wrong? You’ve got me kind of worried over here, and I’ve got a whole slew of scenarios running through my head right now.”

“Paige and her family are moving to Chicago.” I don’t even recognize the vacant voice as mine as the words leave my mouth like they’re being ripped from my soul.

My dad lets out a deep exhale, and I think I hear him murmur, “Thank God.” I glare at him, immediately ready to defend Paige, although my dad’s never been against us before.

“Sorry, I thought you were about to tell me you got Paige pregnant. I’m too young to be a grandpa.”

“Dad!” He should know me better than that.

“Sorry. Okay, so Paige is moving. When?”

“Next month, I guess. Her dad got a promotion at work.”

My voice breaks at the end, and I can’t keep my emotions in check any longer. I feel my throat tightening and a burning behind my eyes. I’m trying so hard to hold it together. I haven’t cried since I was a kid. But the idea of losing Paige has me gutted in a way I’ve never felt before.

My dad wraps his arm around me. “Oh, Jack. I’m sorry. I know how much she means to you.”

“I love her,” I whisper. “I love her so much. I can’t imagine her not being here. Not being at my games or in my classes. She’s been my best friend forever, and now she’s so much more. She’s everything.”

Choking on the last word, I lose my fight with my emotions and cover my face with my hands. My dad sits there with his arms wrapped around me while I let everything out, and I’m grateful he doesn’t try to fill the silence with meaningless words that won’t fix the pain in my heart.

I don’t know how long my dad and I sit there. When I finally manage to pull myself together, I see my mom standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. Her lips are turned down in a frown, and there’s no mistaking the worry in her eyes as she glances between my dad and me. My dad shakes his head at her like he’s silently telling her he’ll explain later. Good. I don’t want to have to talk about this again. I don’t know if I even can.

“I’m going to bed,” I murmur as I stand up and start heading upstairs.

My dad calls out to me before I’ve even reached the third step. “It’ll all work out, Jack. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’ll work out in the end. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

I nod my head without looking at him and then continue up the stairs, my steps falling heavy on each stair and my mind burdened with what the future holds for us. I don’t know how it’ll work out. Chicago is 2,123 miles away. I looked it up when Paige went to the bathroom before dinner.

I want to believe my dad. I want what he said to be true more than anything else in the world, but I can’t help the doubts that are slithering their way into my head.