I had a girlfriend once who made me watch 500 Days of Summer
with her. As I walk into practice, I can’t help but feel like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the scene right after he and Zooey Deschanel have sex for the first time. I’m all smiles and on cloud nine as I walk into the locker room to get changed.
Practice is long and grueling, but I’m still feeling really good when we finish. I’m pounding a Gatorade when I see Max walking over.
“Hey man, how’s it going? Any updates I need to know about?” I ask him.
“Nah, not really. There were a few more reporters I had to keep out. Another female reporter hoping she could catch your eye and snag a story.” He looks out at the other players still working out on the field. “You know, I didn’t really make the connection until just recently, but Paige was one of those female reporters I turned away awhile back. It was before that game where you saw her in the stands.”
My gut clenches, and I turn to look at my friend closely. “You’re telling me you think Paige was at the stadium trying to get a story on me?”
“Yeah, I’m sure it was her, man. I have no reason to lie to you. Trust me, I didn’t want to say anything. For what it’s worth, I think what you two have is the real deal, but I also wouldn’t be doing my job or being a good friend if I didn’t tell you.”
I look at my friend, whom I trust with my life, and I can’t help the little nugget of doubt about Paige that stirs back up and settles deep in my belly. I start replaying all our interactions and conversations since we first saw each other over a month ago. If she was writing a story, she’d have plenty of personal details. I haven’t held anything back from her—not since our first date—despite that voice in the back of my head that wonders if I can really trust her or not.
Belatedly, I realize Max has been talking to me. “What did you say?”
He looks at me for a moment before repeating himself. “I said, I’ve never gotten the vibe that she was digging around for information on you. Every time I’ve seen you two interact, it seems genuine. She’s never asked me any personal questions about you. Hell, she’s never really asked me ANY questions about you. If she’s writing a story, I would think she’d dig around. That’s what the other reporters have tried to do. I don’t really think you have anything to worry about, but I’ll keep an ear out regardless.”
I think about what he’s just said and then my brain goes back to last night. None of that felt fake. Every incredible moment of last night was real. I’d bet my career on it. Like Max, I’ve never felt like Paige was digging. If anything, the more I think about it, the more I realize that Paige usually hates talking about work.
But what if she doesn’t want to talk about it because I’m her story? That nugget of doubt in my stomach gets a little bigger.
“Let me know if you hear anything. I expect the paparazzi will pick up the news that we’re dating sooner or later, but anything
else about us, or about me, specifically from the Chronicle
, I want to know about.”
“How ironic is it that the NFL’s most private player would fall for a journalist? Do you think she’d really write a story about you?”
I hesitate before speaking. “I wish I could say I was sure that she wouldn’t, but the truth is I don’t know.”
The guilt that comes with that comment takes me by surprise. I shouldn’t be doubting Paige. She’s never given me a reason to doubt her loyalty.
“You know what? No, I don’t think she’d write a story about me. She’s never been like that, and in the month we’ve been together, she’s been open and honest about her life. She told me she was going to keep our personal lives separate from our work lives, and I trust her.”
He nods his head, like this is the reaction he expected. “I’ll support you no matter what.”
“Thanks, man. I’m gonna head to the locker room to shower and change.” I pat him on the back and head to the showers.
As the water pours over my body, I realize that despite what I told Max, doubt has made itself comfortable in my gut, and now I can’t shake the feeling that maybe Paige is hiding something from me.
