What the hell just happened?
When I woke up this morning and saw her face, I felt like the freaking Grinch at the end of that movie. It felt like my heart was growing—swelling. I realized last night was not just awesome physically; it was awesome emotionally.
Being around Rose used to make me feel grounded and happy, until this summer, when she started to throw me off balance. I assumed if I gave in to my growing lust for her it would not only screw up my goals for the summer but also throw our friendship into an even bigger tailspin, but it didn’t. When I woke up this morning, I felt more inner peace than I have in a long time. Then Paul started screaming.
The picture is exactly why I was supposed to be staying away from women. The shot epitomizes the unfocused, uncaring party boy the media is always trying to make me look like, which is ironic because what was actually happening between Rose and me on that dance floor was anything but trivial. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but sometimes those words are slanderous, made-up lies. The Vipers’ management didn’t see it that way. They’d called Paul this morning and told him they’d given me enough time to refocus my goals, and if I was partying in Atlantic City I clearly wasn’t refocusing on hockey. They were going to try to trade me.
I walk over to the bed and throw myself down on it. My cell buzzes in my pocket but I ignore it. This isn’t at all what I thought would happen. Last night… it was surreal. Yeah, we were half asleep at first but I knew exactly why I was doing it—because I was crazy about her.
And despite the shit storm that Paul was raining down on me, the words I was shouting to placate him and the painful realization that my team no longer wanted me because of this, all I wanted to do was find Rose, pull her back into bed and make love to her again.
I squeeze my eyes shut now and laugh bitterly at myself.
Did I really just fucking think that? Did I really just use the term “make love”? Great. I am already whipped. This is what the Caplan sisters do to men, apparently. I had watched Jordan turn into a seeping mess of emotions and now I am turning into that too. Fucking fabulous. But Rose heard my words and decided that we should just be friends. She wanted to chalk the whole damn thing up to curiosity.
My hotel room phone rings and I reluctantly decide to answer it. “Hello?”
“Luc? I’m starving! Come grab some food with me.”
“Sorry, Dev. I’m not hungry.”
“Is everything okay?” Devin’s voice is filled with concern.
“Sure. Hung over,” I lie, and it’s the worst lie ever because he knows I wasn’t drunk last night.
“Luc…” He pauses. “Where is Rose?”
“At the beach or something. I don’t know. It’s not my business.”
“I’m coming to your room.”
“Don’t. Just go have breakfast with your wife.”
“My wife is still in bed. She doesn’t feel like breakfast,” Devin replies a little abruptly. “I’m coming to you. Order some room service.”
I sigh, hang up the phone and then grab the room service menu. Picking the phone back up, I order scrambled eggs, French toast, fruit, coffee and orange juice. Devin bangs on the door a few minutes later. I walk over and let him in. He stares at me searchingly.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” I mutter.
“Luc.”
I sigh, walk over and flop backward onto the bed. I take a moment to inhale, turning my face toward the pillow. It still smells like her. It makes my chest tight.
“I slept with Rose,” I mumble into the pillow.
The room is completely silent. I turn and look up at Devin, wondering if he heard me. He is unblinking, his face devoid of shock or surprise.
“I said I slept with Rose.”
“I heard you.”
“And you’re not freaking out?”
Devin smiles and drops down into the chair across from the foot of the bed. “I’m not freaking out because we all knew it would happen. Just didn’t know exactly when. For a while there I thought it would be any minute. Then it looked like it might not happen until you guys were eighty.”
I narrow my eyes on him. “There’s another bet about this, isn’t there?”
“Hell yeah.” Devin laughs a little and nods. “But whatever. The real question is why do you look devastated?”
“Have you looked at TMZ Sports?”
“I don’t read that bullshit,” Devin says matter-of-factly, but then he sighs and pulls out his phone and a second later he swears. “Holy fuck. Is that where you had sex? On the dance floor? Because it looks like it in this photo.”
“The sex part didn’t happen for another twenty-four hours after that picture was taken,” I explain, propping myself up on my elbows so I can look at him.
“You’ve got willpower.” Devin smiles at me.
“Anyway, Vipers’ management saw it and they’re officially looking to trade me. My agent called to tell me this morning.” I sigh.
Devin drops his phone into his lap and stares at me. I watch a range of emotions slip across his unshaven face. Shock, sympathy and even a little fear on my behalf. Being traded is not a fun thing. It’s filled with uncertainty. “Their loss.”
“Whatever.”
“So you spent half the summer avoiding Rose and every other woman on the planet and one photo screws up everything,” Devin summarizes and his dark blond eyebrows pinch together. “Well, at least now you can just be with Rosie.”
“She said she was curious about sex with me and she doesn’t regret it, but it would be crazy to ruin our friendship and my career.” I repeat her thoughts and they hurt just as much the second time as the first. “And she’s right. I know she is, which is why I wanted to avoid this situation to begin with.”
Devin blinks. Now he’s stunned. “But they’re trading you. Fuck it.”
“Are you kidding me? The pressure is even worse now!” I reply, frustrated. “If I look like a partying, bed-hopping media whore, what team is going to want to pick me up, especially with my stats being so… average and my contract so big?”
Room service knocks on the door. I roll off the bed, go over, sign for the food and let the guy wheel it inside. I give him a rumpled twenty-dollar bill from my nightstand and close the door behind him. Devin’s already digging into the scrambled eggs.
“So if you agree that you and Rose can’t be together, then why are you such a sad panda?” Devin asks.
“Because I want to keep having sex with her.”
Devin smirks. “Because the sex was that good or because you love her?”
I make a face and take the metal cover off the French toast. He stirs his coffee and takes a sip. I pour maple syrup on the French toast even though I don’t have much of an appetite.
“Don’t be a bitch, Luc. Answer the question.”
“I have feelings for her,” I admit gruffly and shovel French toast into my mouth. “And the sex was un-fucking-believable.”
Devin smiles at the admission. It’s the Garrison lopsided smirk that he shares with his brothers, but this one isn’t as cocky as it usually is. He looks almost sad. “I miss sex.”
“What?” I freeze with my coffee cup an inch from my face.
“Ash and I aren’t on the same page right now,” he confesses out of nowhere. “I want another kid. She doesn’t.”
“What?! She doesn’t want kids now?” I’m shocked, to say the least. Devin has always wanted a billion kids. Personally, I don’t want any kids right now but I know when I do have them, I’ll want at least three or four. I’m technically an only child, but I was lucky enough to be treated like a brother by the Garrisons. And I had a front-row seat to the bond siblings have. I want that for my kids. That’s why I understand why Devin wants it for Conner.
“I think she’ll want more one day, just not now,” Devin says hopefully. “Speaking of kids, please say you used protection.”
I almost choke on my French toast and my face goes bright red.
Devin’s eyes go wide. “You didn’t wear a condom?”
“Rose is on the pill,” I respond quickly. “I’ve seen it on her dresser at home.”
“You’re sure?” he questions and I nod, but in reality I am not a hundred percent sure and I get a little nervous.
“Almost sure. I mean it just kind of happened in the middle of the night. We were barely awake.” I’m rambling like a fool. “I don’t want to talk about this; it’s making me feel worse.”
Devin gives me an apologetic smile and reaches over and takes a piece of my French toast. “I’m not here to condone everything you do. I’m here to be the voice of reason.”
He stuffs a big piece of the toast in his mouth and syrup drips down his chin. He wipes it away, swallows and continues lecturing me. “I fully understand the overwhelming attraction you have for Rose. I had the same type of feelings for Callie once, believe it or not.”
“Yeah, I heard.” I squish up my face like the thought makes me sick. “You two knocked boots before Ash.”
“Jordan has such a big mouth.” Devin laughs. “We didn’t technically… I mean, sort of. It’s a long story and it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, the point is I get wanting someone so bad it makes you crazy, but Luc, barely awake sex isn’t the best start to a relationship.”
I stare at my hands in my lap. “I know. I fucked up. But it doesn’t matter. We’re going back to being just friends.”
Devin finishes his cup of coffee and sighs, leaning back in his chair. He stares at me for a long time. “So you’re taking a bad decision and making it worse. Bold choice.”
I think about that. Staying away from Rose seems like the hardest thing I could possibly do but it also seems like the smart choice, career-wise. It really does.
“It’s up to you, Luc, but the fact is, Rose isn’t Nessa,” Devin tells me firmly. “Denying the right girl because people can’t let go of your mistakes with the wrong girl seems pretty stupid to me.”
I run my hands through my hair and close my eyes. I hear Devin stand and then feel his hand land firmly on my shoulder. “I’m going to go to the beach and enjoy our last day. Want to join?”
I shake my head and watch him walk toward the door. Before he leaves I call out, “Dev, can you not tell anyone about this? Even though you have that stupid bet and everything.”
Devin shrugs. “I didn’t win so I have no problem keeping it to myself. Jordan doesn’t need my money.”
He leaves my room. I drop back down on the bed and sigh before turning my head into the pillow again. How the fuck am I going to let her go?