With everyone at work and Monday’s laundry on the line, Lovina tiptoed up the attic steps. Salome was resting, and her little ones were at Malinda’s. Berta had come home late yesterday, so Ariana would stay with her until bedtime.

Finally Lovina had some time to herself, and tears welled. One of her children wished to leave? If that wasn’t enough to break a mother’s heart, and it was, fears she’d tucked away long ago seemed to be shrieking ruthlessly as they came out of hiding. Steadying her frantic emotions, she closed her eyes and tried to soak in peaceful thoughts.

The attic smelled of old wood and generations of memories. She made her way to the back of the attic, and sweat poured down her neck as she dragged useless items out of her way—broken rockers and quilt stands, butter churns, and old toys. She crawled around dusty boxes of hand-me-down clothes and knelt in front of the locked chest. Her heart pounded in her ears as she pulled the skeleton key from her apron pocket. Her moist hands shook, and she couldn’t make herself slide the key into the keyhole.

Life was so busy, and until two days ago she had successfully quieted the fears that tried to whisper to her. Feeding and clothing ten children was difficult. Ignoring irrational fears was easy…or had been until Mark brought home that flier. Now her anxiety was becoming unbearable, searing her conscience like a fire engulfing an old birthing center.

Her knees began to ache, and she finally unlocked the chest. She removed tattered quilts that had been sewn by her great-grandmother and grandmother. Tucked under them were the baby blankets the midwife had wrapped every one of Lovina’s newborns in. She pulled out the stack and removed the thick plastic protective covering from each one. Ten blankets. Five blue. Five pink. Lovina had pinned a tag of information on each one—name of child, birth date, weight, and memories of the day or night surrounding the birth. She supposed it was as close to a photo album as she could get.

She opened the folded blue blanket that Abram had been wrapped in. The white embroidered baby feet had yellowed slightly. She ran her fingers across them before opening Ariana’s blanket. She inspected it just as she’d done several times over the years. But today was the same as every other time. No matter how diligently she searched for the embroidered baby feet, she couldn’t find them. Somehow Rachel had mixed up the blankets. It was no wonder. What a day of terror that had been.

Lovina pulled the downy fabric to her chest. “Dear God,” she whispered, “please let it be that the blankets were mixed up that day.” A sob escaped her. “Please.”

Ariana jolted from a sound sleep, her eyes opening wide as she gulped in a lungful of air. Rudy! He was picking her up, and they had a meeting with the real-estate agent tonight. What time was it? Sunlight and shadows spilled across her bare feet and arms as a waning sun filtered through the dancing leaves of the old oak outside her window. A humid breeze flowed through the open windows, but sweltering heat hung in the air.

There was a tap at the door. “Ariana?” Salome called softly. Was it her sister’s voice that had jolted her awake moments ago?

“Kumm.” Ariana sat up, brushing damp strands of hair from her face.

Her sister opened the door and slipped inside. She had her newborn in her arms and a gentle smile on her face. “I was surprised to hear that you’re going out on a Tuesday night.”

“I am.” She glanced at the clock. “In about forty-five minutes.”

“Why?”

She stretched. “Because I have someone lined up to stay with Berta this afternoon as well as tonight, and Rudy and I have made arrangements to meet the real-estate agent at the café. Hopefully I can renegotiate the agreement to pay down less or something so I can purchase the café sooner.”

Salome moved closer to the bed. “I was hoping to snag a few uninterrupted minutes with my very busy, beautiful, and oh-so-popular sister.” She looked around as if searching for something. “But Susie isn’t in here, is she?”

Ariana broke into laughter. “So you woke me to be mean?”

“Is there a better reason?”

“I had thought so, but based on what you just said, the answer is no.”

Salome must be feeling more like herself again since she was teasing. Maybe the birth of her new daughter would douse the fire of resentment that had burned in her since Esther was injured.

Ariana stretched. “If you hadn’t awakened me, I think I could have slept straight through until my shift for the baby.”

“I’m sure you could after helping Berta so much since she returned from the hospital, as well as all the sleep you’ve been missing during the night while keeping Katie Ann for me.”

“Ya, what’s with that baby of yours?” Ariana teased. “She sleeps great as long as someone is holding her.”

Salome chuckled. “It’s no great mystery to me. She’s difficult and demanding…just like her Aenti Ariana.”

“Ya.” She dragged out the word while going to her closet. “That’s it.” She began looking through a dozen hand-me-down dresses, searching for one that wasn’t as tattered as what she had on.

“So,” Salome laughed, “you’ve finally matured enough to admit it.”

This was the kind of nonsense chat she’d missed having with Salome since Esther’s injury two and a half years ago—a silly conversation that was simple and amusing, where neither of them ever took offense. Only enjoyment and camaraderie.

Ariana pulled out a rose-colored dress.

Salome moved to the bed and sat. “I…I heard about the breakfast you had on Sunday before last where you invited all the sibs. Mamm explained why.”

“I haven’t mentioned it because I didn’t really want you burdened right now. You’ve got enough to think about.” She put the dress over her arm and went to her dresser. “Can we talk later? I need to jump in the shower before Rudy gets here.”

“What made you think someone, anyone in Summer Grove is leaving the Amish?”

“Salome, I just asked if we could talk later.”

If Mamm hadn’t told Salome, a married adult who lived with them, about Quill being at his mother’s place, then Mamm hadn’t told anyone. That was good. It would be best if as few people as possible knew Quill visited his mother. The last thing Berta needed was a church leader questioning her.

“But how do you know someone is planning to leave?”

“That’s not important, and it could be an uncle, aunt, or cousin, but I don’t think so. Whoever it is, I have a bit of information this time, and that gives me the ability to plan. I won’t be caught completely blind, and I’ll put a stop to it before it happens.”

“Ari…, honey, listen to yourself. I know this is far more distressing to you than most of us can under—”

“I can fix this. I know I can.”

“See, that’s what we need to talk about.” Everything about her sister seemed as calm as the summer breeze floating through the open window, but her eyes held deep concern. “Could you maybe have a short date with Rudy, just go for an hour drive and come back home?”

Laughter one minute and having to stand her ground the next. Sisterhood was like having a vivid rainbow and a gloomy thunderstorm in the same room at the same time. “I’ll be home to keep Katie Ann tonight. I need the help I’m giving to be enough right now, okay?” Quill was not stealing another person from her. Ever. “I have a plan, a reward for staying.”

Salome looked grieved as she put the baby on the bed and moved to Ariana. “I need you to listen to me. You have a good heart, and I know you think you’re doing the right thing here, but you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak. No one can change people’s minds on a matter this serious with some sort of bribery. A desire to stay has to come from deep within a person.”

“Susie is hardly more than a child. If I can buy that café, I know I can change her mind.”

Salome’s brows wrinkled. “Wait.” She gazed into Ariana’s eyes, seemingly confused. “You think it’s Susie?” Her sister’s words were hardly more than a whisper.

“I was surprised too, but it makes sense.” Ariana pulled a pair of scissors out of her nightstand. “She’s got the backbone for it, and she’s restless living inside the Old Ways.” She put her clothes for tonight on the bed.

“Ariana?” Malinda tapped on the door.

“Kumm.” Ariana snipped frayed threads off the dress, hoping to make it look less old. Was she going to get a chance to jump in the shower or not?

Malinda opened the door. “Hallo.” She held out a glass of icy water to Ariana.

“Ach, denki.”

“You’re welcome. Sorry, Salome. I didn’t realize you were in here. Besides, my hands were full.”

“That’s okay.” Salome took the drink from Ariana and drank about half of it. “See? Not a problem.” She passed it back to Ariana.

Ariana shook her head while chuckling. “At least she saved me half.”

Malinda grinned and pulled a brown bag from behind her back. “Before you get excited, the gift isn’t actually for you.” Malinda passed it to her.

Ariana laid the scissors on her dress and slid the soft fleecy item from its paper container. She knew immediately who it was for. After Berta went into the hospital, Ariana realized she needed a housecoat. As good fortune would have it, she’d found some fleecy material for a dollar at an Englisch neighbor’s yard sale later that same day. “You did make it for me.” Ariana had worked on making Berta a new housecoat, but she never got past cutting it out. It didn’t help that Ariana wasn’t very good at sewing, so trying to create something unusual like a housecoat, with a collar that was part of the length of the garment itself, took her a really long time. Ariana ran her hands over the downy material. “And it’s the perfect gift for me. Denki.”

“How’s Berta?”

“Still a bit weak but nothing like she was when she went into the hospital.”

“That’s good. You and Rudy going by there tonight?”

“No. We’re going into the historic district.”

Susie was at work right now, but she would meet Rudy and Ariana at the café. Ariana was ready to divulge her secret hope about the café. It wasn’t as if she had been overly secretive about the café. Susie knew Ariana had spent years saving up to buy an old shop in town, but the dream never had much luster to Susie, so they hadn’t talked about it in a long time. Ariana prayed she could get Susie excited about it too. Surely she would then stop thinking she had to leave the Amish to have a fulfilled life.

Ariana glanced at the dress she’d chosen for tonight. She was fairly sure magenta was Rudy’s favorite color. “I could take the housecoat by Berta’s first, but the Esh girls are with her until bedtime, and she’s staying the night by herself.” Did Quill come by after everyone was gone, or had he returned to hiding now that he knew what was going on with his mother? “The Esh girls will fix her dinner and tend to—”

“Ariana, sweetie?” Mamm called.

Salome giggled. “Sweetie?”

“Maybe if you baked lots of carbs for her, she would call you that too,” Ariana teased.

Despite Mamm’s calm demeanor she hadn’t been herself in days. Was she more worried about losing a child to the world than she’d let on?

Carrying the housecoat, Ariana went into the hallway. “Ya?”

“I need a favor, please.” Mamm’s hoarse voice came from the foot of the steps.

Ariana moved to the landing and peered down at her. “Sure. What’s up?”

“The water pressure is low again, which means there must be another leak somewhere. I hate to ask this of you, but would you mind getting a fresh barrel from the old cooperage shop? Your oldest brother borrowed the other one you brought home, and whatever he used it for, it no longer holds water.”

Berta’s husband had been a barrel maker before his death. Quill had followed in his footsteps, but since he’d left the Amish, the shop sat idle. Berta didn’t allow anyone in the shop except Ariana, and even she hadn’t gone inside it more than maybe three times in the last five years. In Berta’s heart it was like a memorial to her husband. Maybe to her sons too, since all of them learned the trade before leaving the Amish.

If her mother could think of another way to meet the need, she wouldn’t have asked Ariana to do this.

“I don’t mind.” Ariana held up the housecoat. “Malinda brought a gift for Berta. Look.”

“Very nice.”

“I’ll take it to her, and I’ll search for another good barrel. But I have plans I can’t be late for, so I’ll set it somewhere—at the back of her property or beside her house—for someone else to swing by and grab.”

“I understand. Just move the barrel from the cooperage to the end of her driveway.”

“Okay. Rather than me trying to get back here before Rudy arrives, would you send him to Berta’s to get me? He won’t mind, but tell him to wait for me in his rig. That’ll keep us from getting caught in a conversation with the Esh girls.”

“I’ll do it.”

This was how things constantly went in their home—lots of little but specific plans to meet all needs in as inexpensive and timely a manner as possible. The house was held together by love and baling wire, and she hoped to purchase a café ahead of schedule? Doubt and a feeling of foolishness prickled her skin for a moment, but she could make this work…She just didn’t yet know how. Surely You have a plan, right, God?

Ariana came back to herself and realized that her Mamm was still in place, staring up at her. Were those tears in her eyes? “You’re my girl. Just you remember that.”

What a strange thing to say. “Okay, I’m your girl, but don’t tell Rudy. He thinks I’m his.”

Her Mamm should’ve liked those words. Ariana hadn’t considered herself anyone’s girl before Rudy, but only a faint smile crossed her Mamm’s face before she lowered her eyes to the steps, seemingly lost in thought.

Mamm had to be worried about one of her children planning to disappear during the night. Fresh anger and determination seized Ariana.

She would win Susie’s heart in this, and she would figure out how to get the café—even if she had to beg, borrow, or marry.