Quill pulled into the Brenneman driveway and parked his car. It was too late to try to hide his involvement in the Brennemans’ lives. The whole community would know plenty within a few days. He had met with Lovina and Isaac near the barn last night after everyone else had gone to bed and had filled them in on what he knew.

Lovina came outside, peering through his windows as if hopeful Ariana was with him. He lowered the window. “She hasn’t returned yet?”

Lovina shook her head. “It’s such a mess. Nicholas went to see the midwife yesterday, and he was breathing threats, spreading fear. Rachel was willing to go to jail rather than ask Ariana to leave, but Ari wouldn’t have any part of that. Now I’m really worried. She was so upset. What if she hasn’t come back yet because she fell into the creek or stumbled into a ravine or—”

“Nothing like that has happened to her, Lovina.”

“She’s never been gone this long.”

“She’s never had to sort through this kind of pain.” Quill had an idea that she’d meandered through back trails, going from one favorite spot to another. If she had, that could explain how Abram had missed seeing her.

Lovina searched the horizon. “I couldn’t believe how gracious and kind she was. Not one word of accusation against Rachel, her Daed, or me. She hugged us and assured us she was fine, but I’ve never seen her look like that.” Lovina broke into tears.

“She’s out gaining perspective and self-control so that when she walks back into the house, she can continue being calm and gracious. I doubt she will return before she’s able to do that.”

“I…I needed to hear that. Denki.” Lovina drew a shaky breath. “How’s Skylar?”

“I saw her a few hours ago. She’s pretty good. Maybe more practiced with upheavals in life. Maybe hiding how she really feels. It’s hard to tell. I assured her you were good and welcoming people.”

“Why is he pushing Ariana to give him a year with no contact with us?”

“He feels you’ve had twenty years to indoctrinate her. He wants one uninterrupted year.” Quill wouldn’t add that Nicholas hoped to open Ariana’s mind and heart to a life she would never want to leave. “But he learned the news last week. Given a little time, he may relax his demands. Like I told you when we met last night, he’s given Skylar a choice of going to rehab or coming here. When I saw her today, I told her you guys want her to choose you.”

“Even though you explained things to us yesterday, I could hardly hear you. I’m a little confused. I thought I understood what rehab was, but then I realized my ideas don’t match up with the situation. I thought it was a place injured people go to regain their strength, but that’s not right, is it?”

“That’s one kind, but the type Nicholas was talking about is one that tries to get someone clean—off drugs and alcohol.”

She gasped, eyes wide, seeming unable to breathe. Finally she jerked air into her lungs. “My daughter…” Tears rolled down her cheeks again. “I want to help her in any way we can, but we’re not equipped to deal with that.”

“It won’t be easy. But life on this farm with the Brenneman family may be what she needs. You don’t have to do this on your own. There are counselors who can help you navigate the issues. It’s pretty clear to me that Nicholas would be willing to pay for anything that would help her.”

“If he’s willing to nudge Skylar toward us, the religious fanatics, he’s desperate for answers for her.”

“That sums it up pretty well. But if you and Isaac are second-guessing your decision to welcome her, and you think Nicholas needs to make rehab her only choice, we can call him. Maybe she would agree to come after a stint in rehab.”

“I won’t back out. It would be like saying, ‘We only thought we wanted you.’ ” Wiping her cheeks, Lovina stood straight. “You can find Ariana, can’t you?”

“I think so.”

“Please try.”

“Sure.” He put the car in Reverse and backed out of the driveway.

He had an idea where she was likely to be, and he drove in that direction. When the road came to an end, he parked his vehicle and got out. As he began to walk, he called her cell phone, hoping to hear it ring. Nothing. He continued on, making his way toward what used to be their flat rock on Summer Creek. He dialed her phone again and heard it buzzing. He grabbed it and put both in his pocket. As he walked the path between the two largest rocks, he whistled, giving her warning before he broke through the opening near the creek.

There she was, sitting on the top part of a boulder. This is where they’d spent so much time talking after his Daed died. Apparently the murmur of the creek had kept her from hearing him or her phone. He whistled again, and she turned.

Her eyes were dull and her expression blank, surely from an exhausting day of trauma and tears. Without a word she turned back to face the creek.

He moved to a smaller boulder a couple of feet from her and rested against it. He waited, hoping she would find the words to talk to him…or yell. She needed to spill hurt on someone, rid herself of some of its poison.

When she remained silent for more than twenty minutes, he had to say something. “Your family is worried about you.”

Still nothing. Finally she spoke. “Is…is this mess what I saw in your eyes at the café—the reluctance to my excitement?”

“Yeah.”

She pulled her knees to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs. “What are the chances that I am a Brenneman?”

He stood straight and faced her. “I’m sorry, Ari.” He swallowed hard. “Skylar’s already had a DNA test, and her makeup doesn’t match either of her parents.”

Her eyes filled with tears while staying focused on the creek, and her breathing was short and choppy. The water that had been in front of her when she’d asked her question was probably two miles downstream before she spoke again. “The test could be wrong, couldn’t it?”

He heard desperation. She needed her Amish lineage to be true, and her pain cut him so deeply his chest physically hurt from the heartache. “That’s not likely, and there are other factors that confirm who you are, including that you favor Brandi…your mom. When she saw a picture of you, she was surprised by how much you look like her mom, your grandmother.”

Ariana closed her eyes, unfathomable pain etched on her face. A few minutes later she took a deep breath. “So now what?”

“I’m not sure. The goal will be to buy you time to adjust to the news without provoking Nicholas to file a lawsuit.”

“I heard his name earlier today, but who is he?”

What had her parents told her? “Your…dad.”

The water ambled by as the inescapable truth began to take shape. She finally took a breath and focused on him. “What kind of man threatens to sue someone like Rachel?”

“An upset one. For what it’s worth, I think he’s trying to handle this right, but he’s not particularly religious, so he doesn’t view suing people as wrong. To him Rachel was negligent.”

She angled her head, narrowing her eyes at him. “And?”

Was she reading his body language, his tone? He took a deep breath, willing himself to tell her the truth. “He wants you away from the Amish. In his opinion they are too rigid and religious, and he’s antsy to get you out as quickly as possible.”

She propped her hands behind her, staring at the creek. “There’s a word for how twisted this situation is, isn’t there?”

“I’m not following.”

“Me being forced to leave the Amish. You in the thick of it. Isn’t there a word for that?”

“Many of them. Ranging from ridiculous to outrageous, but the one you’re looking for is probably ironic.”

“That’s it. Ironic.” Her eyes moved heavenward, and she was quiet again for several minutes. “He’s hoping that I’ll change, that I’ll renounce my faith and live Englisch?”

“I think it’s safe to assume that, yeah.”

“You’re the one always in other people’s skin, knowing things about them they barely know. What do you think I’ll do?”

He wanted to pump her full of encouragement, say what she needed to hear, but she could read him now, and he had no choice but to be painfully honest. “Struggle to cope for a while. Endure months of heartache and confusion. Find people you can help, like you do here. Adjust. Make a difference while biding your time to return to Summer Grove. Then you’ll live out your days as a faithful Amish woman.”

“Rudy wants me to marry him. He started talking about it a couple of weeks ago.”

“I’m guessing you’re in favor of it.”

Her serene smile said it all. “Definitely.” Her brows pinched. “How am I going to tell him that my family heritage isn’t what he thinks and, worse, that I have to go away and live a lifestyle neither of us agrees with?”

“Rudy has you. Biological parents aren’t all that important.”

“No? They must be fairly significant. Everyone in existence has a set of biological parents, and something as tiny as a drop of blood carries proof of the match.”

“The proof of who you are is in the decisions you make.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Since you plan to marry Rudy, maybe if you two married now, Nicholas would have no reason to try to undo your Amishness. Being Amish would then be set in stone to him. The preachers would be agreeable to help you and Rudy do that. When they learn what’s happening, they will do anything within reason to keep you from having to leave. You could be the first Amish person I know of to be allowed to join the faith and marry before taking instruction classes.”

“No. I won’t marry under duress. It would feel as if I cornered him into it, rushed to wed as if I were pregnant. There’s discontent in couples who feel they had no choice but to rush into marriage. We marry on our timetable, on God’s timetable, not Nicholas…What’s his last name?”

“Jenkins.” Should he tell her that Brandi didn’t share that same surname?

“Does that mean my last name is now Jenkins?”

“I don’t know the legalities. But for now you and Skylar keep your names.”

“What am I going to do about the café?” She rubbed the center of her forehead. “Why help me get the money for it when you knew I might not be here to run it?”

“You need that café. If you don’t go to closing this Thursday, someone else will buy it. Let the café be your rock during the adjustment of the news, and it’ll wait for you.”

“Seriously? You think I should go to closing and take on a mortgage when I won’t be here to run it?”

He liked that there was some energy returning to her voice. “Susie’s learned a lot the last few weeks. Martha’s a little young to be a lot of help, but a motivated fifteen-year-old girl can learn quickly and be excited to be a part. Maybe Salome and your Mamm could take turns helping some too. The café won’t run nearly as smoothly or successfully without you, but with the money from the benefit and them turning a decent profit, it’ll remain afloat until you get back.”

“They don’t know enough to do the cooking and managing, not yet.”

“Then you teach them between now and when you leave.”

“You said something about buying time. How?”

“Insist on having a DNA test run and do so through the Amish clinic. I think you can at least get three weeks before he’ll lose his patience and start proceedings against Rachel.”

“Three weeks before I leave is nothing and staying away for a year feels like a lifetime.”

“I know, but you can do this, Ari. You’ll grow and learn from the Englisch world, maybe take some culinary classes, and then return home with a deeper understanding of what it means to be human on this spinning ball.”

Anger flashed through her eyes, and she sat up. “Is that what you think?” She scooted down the rock until her feet were on the ground. “That I need to learn to get off my high horse? That I need to be broken, and then maybe I’ll get why you lure Amish away from the Old Ways?”

“Okay, anger is good. Necessary, I think.” He didn’t like anyone responding like a sedated, confused lamb. “But that’s not at all what I meant. I was just—”

“Wait.” She held up her hand, her eyes narrowing. “How did Brandi see a picture of me? Even I don’t own one, nor anyone in my family.”

His pulse quickened. What had he done? “I snapped it with my phone.”

She closed her eyes. “I’m so gullible, and you take advantage of it.”

“The picture was wrong, a bad idea I shouldn’t have acted on. It was a careless, thoughtless move on my part.”

“A move?” she scoffed. “A deliberate action to accomplish your goal, and once again it just went right over my head. Do you realize that you pulled me into trusting you again?”

“I’ve been a messenger. That’s all. I didn’t want this news about the night you were born to be true any more than you or your family.”

“I’ll keep my word about you and your brothers being able to give gifts to your Mamm and let people assume I’m buying them. You have until I leave to follow through and again after I return, but other than that—”

“Ariana, don’t do this.”

She was going to shut him out. Should he tell her that no one on this planet meant more to him than she did? No. For a thousand reasons he shouldn’t. She wouldn’t believe him, and the only thing worse than her misdirected, well-controlled wrath would be her avoidance of him because of her loyalty to Rudy.

“I appreciate all your help with the café. I really do. I couldn’t have done it without you. I’ll go to closing this Thursday because of you. But when you’re in my life, I end up trusting you, and you end up being at the center of the worst pain imaginable.”

“I get how you feel.” He searched for the right words, hoping to come up with something that would change her mind. “I crossed some lines, and you have a right to be angry about the picture, but I didn’t have a choice in how this played out.”

“I believe you.” She shrugged. “I even believe that you hate the roles you play. But you reel me in, knowing me fully, while you keep your secrets that you know will kill me. Have you been spending time with the other girl? Were you talking with her, making friends with her while helping me with the café?”

The damage was done. Her mind was made up. She wouldn’t call him an enemy or traitor, but he wasn’t considered a friend. “Skylar feels as lost and angry as you do. She’s a music and drama student in college, and she knows even less about the Amish world than you do the Englisch one.”

“Could you do me a favor? Just stay out of my life from here on. Please?”

“Ari, I can be there for you as you adjust to Englisch life. I’ve been there—separated from all that’s familiar.” If she closed him out, she would enter the Englisch world without contact from anyone familiar to her. It would help her to have someone who knew her and understood her while she was in the Englisch world. Since he wasn’t Amish, Nicholas wouldn’t balk at Quill having contact, at least via the phone.

“Your motives toward me are good. I know that, and I appreciate it. But the reality of what happens between us doesn’t match your goals.”

His whole body ached from the sting of her words. Was this pain similar to how she felt when he blindsided her with his secrets?

“Okay. But there’s a movie that will help you a lot if you’ll watch it. It’s called The Village. Some discount it, thinking it’s a horror film, but it’s not. It has some scenes that will make you jump, but the story is about people who’ve built a safe haven, living the way our forefathers did, the way the Amish do. In many ways it’s a good metaphor that will help you get some perspective and adjust to your new world. The leaders of the village purposefully teach the younger generation to fear what’s outside their borders. In the end love wins…but so do the founders of the village. Watching it will help you get a grip on understanding what’s happening inside you.”

“I can’t imagine gaining strength through a movie, but I’ll think about watching it.” She folded her arms, holding on tight as if she were cold. “I can’t keep doing this, Quill—never knowing what secrets you’re keeping or the damage they’ll do. You believe in fighting for people’s right to choose the life they want, and I choose for you to stay out of my life, okay?”

If he remained patient, would she change her mind? Should he even want her to? “Yeah, if that’s what you want. But if you change your mind, call me.” He pulled her phone out of his pocket. “You dropped it on the path not too far from here.”

She took it, inspecting it while turning it over several times. “Keep it.” She passed it back. “Or give it to someone else. I only needed it to reach you, and I don’t need it for that anymore.”

He’d known when Lovina and Isaac asked for his help that Ariana and he could end this way. Even so, words failed to describe how much this hurt. He slid the phone into his pocket. “Your family is worried. At least let me give you a lift home.”

“I told them I would be home by dark, and I will.”

“Apparently they don’t recall you said that.”

“And apparently you are on great terms with Salome, Emanuel, and my parents, so if you wish to relieve them of any concern, find a way to get a message to them.”

“Okay, I deserve that.” He stifled a sigh. “If you change your mind, tonight or six months from now, I’m available anytime, day or night.”

“Denki. But I won’t.”

“Ariana!” Rudy’s voice echoed.

She glanced at Quill, giving a sad smile that said she appreciated him but was equally wary of him. “Bye.”

“Bye, Ari.”

She hurried down the path. “Here, Rudy. I’m here.” The two rushed into each other’s arms.

Quill had once again destroyed her trust. There was a biblical truth he’d witnessed many times in his life: people reaped what they’d sowed.

He was a keeper of painful secrets sowed in the dark, and he reaped darkness.