“Are you ready, Sammy? Ready to take the dog to Miss Arianna?” Jack didn’t have to strain to put excitement in his voice, something the TSS had recommended.
Sammy’s face remained impassive, but he toddled over to the door, which, as Arianna always pointed out, was a clear form of communication.
Jack scooped up the eight-week-old puppy he’d just examined and wrapped it in a towel, and they headed over to Arianna’s place.
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. From the mountains, a warm breeze blew the scent of pine, rich and resinous. A Steller’s jay squawked from a nearby aspen tree, scolding them, maybe scolding Jack for the eager anticipation he was feeling.
He and Arianna had a new, fragile accord, and he treasured it. After the awkwardness of that week after they kissed, Jack was being cautious not to reveal the attraction he felt for his redheaded nanny.
That attraction had caused them problems before. He didn’t want to risk their friendship by acting on it again.
Then what are you going to do with the attraction?
Because he wasn’t going to stop feeling it, that much was clear. So was he just going to shove it aside and continue treating Arianna as a friend? That seemed like it might be really hard to do. But on the other hand, if he made another move to get closer to Arianna, he might scare her away entirely.
When he’d hired her, it had been for a temporary position, just for the summer. She’d planned to seek work elsewhere if she couldn’t find a permanent art therapy job here. But now the thought of her leaving stabbed at his heart.
He looked up at the clear blue sky. Father, You’re going to have to take over, because I don’t know what to do, and I keep messing this up.
He helped Sammy climb the first couple of stairs and then knelt and scooped him up to carry him the rest of the way to Arianna’s second-floor apartment. Sammy’s walking was improving, but stairs were a challenge still, of course.
At the top, arms full of puppy and boy, he tapped on the door. “Dog delivery,” he called through the screen.
From inside Arianna’s apartment, a loud squeal erupted and then Arianna ran through her small kitchen to the door, talking a mile a minute. “Did you bring me my puppy? I’m so excited! I can’t believe I get to have him!” She opened the door and held out her hands, and Jack carefully shifted the puppy into her arms before putting Sammy down.
“He is so precious! I can’t believe how tiny he is. And how wiggly!” She knelt so she could be at the same level as Sammy. Of course. She was always conscious of that, always trying to include him, to teach him new things. “Look how cute he is, Sammy,” she said. “Oh, Jack, I love him already.”
Jack could have stood there and watched her for an hour as she cuddled the puppy and showed it to Sammy and put it down on the floor to let it walk and laughed at its clumsiness.
Her feet were bare, her toenails painted bright pink. He swallowed, then cleared his throat. “Do you have everything you need? You got bowls and food and a bed?”
Great, he sounded like a scold.
But rather than being annoyed, Arianna bobbed her head up and down and rose to her feet, graceful, the puppy in her arms. “Come see. You can tell me if I got the right stuff.”
So Jack took Sammy’s hand, and they followed her through the little apartment. She showed him the food and water bowls, simple and basic, just what Jack would have purchased himself. “And I got the puppy chow you recommended. And a few treats.” She smiled a bit guiltily and showed him four different kinds of dog biscuits. “Are these okay for him to eat?”
Jack had to laugh at her. “They’re fine. It’s okay to indulge a puppy. Everyone does.”
In the living room, more of that indulgence was on display. In addition to a small crate, she had gotten the little dog a warm fleece bed and at least eight different toys.
“I know, I know, I went overboard,” she said. “They had a sale. That’s my excuse.” She put the dog down, and they all knelt around it. The puppy pounced on a banana-shaped toy, then jumped back when the toy squeaked.
Jack and Arianna laughed, and then Sammy let out a sound that could or could not have been a laugh, and Jack’s eyes met Arianna’s. Her smile was brilliant. And Jack could tell his own face held a similar expression.
“You know,” she said, “if it turns out that Buster would be a good dog for Sammy to have, I’ll give him to you.”
“No, he’s yours,” Jack protested.
“Sammy is the priority,” she said firmly. “If I’m just the puppy raiser for his service dog, I’m okay with that.”
Her words sent a wave of happiness through Jack. One, because of the idea of Sammy having a service dog. That just might make a big difference for him. And two, he was impressed by Arianna’s generosity and willingness to sacrifice.
Strange, on paper Chloe had been the upright, perfectly behaved, rule-following sister. Women’s committee at church, Sunday school teacher, always tastefully dressed, a great cook and housekeeper.
According to Chloe, Arianna was the one who had gotten in all kinds of trouble as a kid. She’d struggled in school and wrecked her car and gotten into fights with her parents.
But as adults, and maybe this was because of Arianna’s childhood difficulties, Arianna was the more generous and compassionate one. It seemed like Chloe had gotten more and more rigid. And living with her, Jack knew better than anyone the anxiety and tension that had hovered just beneath her perfect facade. It had gotten to the point that it made her miserable, and Jack had begged her to seek counseling. But she had refused, because that would have destroyed her carefully crafted self-image.
After a few more minutes, Sammy turned away, his signal that he had had enough. Arianna read it as quickly as Jack did, and she found a board book and helped Sammy sit down in a quiet corner on his blanket. There, he turned the pages methodically, tapping his foot on the floor in a complicated rhythm.
The puppy seemed to be overwhelmed at the same moment. He walked and climbed and tumbled his way into the fleece bed, flopped down on his side and fell instantly asleep.
So now it was just Jack and Arianna, her on the couch and him in the armchair catty-corner, because he wasn’t going to push himself on her by sitting too close on the couch. But that good resolution was negated by the question he couldn’t help asking. “Have you seen Nathan lately?”
She looked at him, surprise evident in her expression. “No, I haven’t. I think he’s gone back to the university.”
“Are you upset about that?”
Now she really looked puzzled. “No, I’m not. Why would I be?” Color climbed into her cheeks.
Jack observed her narrowly even as he shrugged and lifted his hands, palms up. “No particular reason.”
She didn’t seem upset about Nathan being gone, and that made his heart beat a little faster. Did that mean she would be open to exploring a deeper connection with Jack?
But on the other hand, he was pretty sure there was something about Nathan that she wasn’t telling him.
Restless now, he stood and paced around the little living room. “You have it set up so nice.” With the colorful pillows and throws, the rattan shades at the windows and the hanging plants, the place already looked artsy and fun, just like Arianna herself.
He glanced at the photos on the mantel and paused at a picture of Chloe and Arianna, probably taken when they were teenagers. They both had their heads thrown back, laughing. Jack swallowed. “This is a good shot,” he said, nodding sideways at the picture.
Arianna came to stand beside him. “I love it,” she said. “There weren’t that many times when we laughed together, but I treasure the few happy moments we had.”
“What was it that put you two so much at odds?” Jack really wanted to know. He felt like it would solve some of the mystery of Chloe, help him resolve the past.
She picked up the photo and then put it down again, sighing. “Mostly, it was our mom. I guess she was trying to help us both excel by pitting us against each other. But I don’t think it really worked. Sisterhood shouldn’t be a competition.”
“Chloe was jealous of you, you know.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jack regretted them. He didn’t want to betray Chloe by letting Arianna know her deeper feelings.
But to his surprise, Arianna just nodded. “We were jealous of each other,” she said. “I always wanted to be perfectly groomed and well organized the way that she was. She was in every club and organization. She got straight As. She was the perfect one.”
Jack knew what she meant, but he couldn’t let that analysis go. “She didn’t feel perfect. Not inside herself.”
“I know.” She sighed. “In some ways, it was easier to be me than it was to be her. She came close to meeting Mom’s standards, and that motivated her to try harder and harder all the time. I was so far below them that I just did my own thing.”
“She thought I was attracted to you.”
Arianna sucked in a breath. “What?”
He nodded. May as well go through with this now. “She got kind of obsessed with the idea that I wanted to be with you. That’s why she didn’t want you to come to our house very often. When you did, it always left her in a terrible funk.”
Color had risen in Arianna’s cheeks. “Wow, I didn’t know that,” she said. She glanced up at his face and then looked away just as quickly.
He’d better push it to the end now. “She was wrong,” he said. “I never wanted to be with another woman while I was with Chloe. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, but I loved her, and I was loyal to her. It’s important to me that you know that.”
“I never would have doubted it, Jack,” she said quietly.
“It’s a little confusing to me,” he said, “because now I do feel attracted to you.”
Again she flashed a glance at him and then looked away, biting her lip.
“But I guess you know that.”
She nodded almost imperceptibly, not looking up at him.
“Look, Arianna, I don’t know where it might lead, but I would like to know you better in a social way, not just this employer-employee way.” He drew in a breath. Asking for a date didn’t get any easier than it had been when he was a teenager. He cleared his throat. “Would you like to go to the Redemption Ranch fund-raising gala with me?”
Arianna stared at Jack, wondering if her ears had deceived her. “Did you just ask me out?”
“I did.” Jack looked at her for a moment and then stepped away, pacing over to the window and back again. “But, Arianna, I hope you know you can say no without causing any kind of a problem in our employer-employee relationship.”
Her thoughts raced faster than she could process. On one side of her mind, an excited girl jumped up and down and clasped her hands together and squealed, He asked me out! He asked me out!
Another side of her, the more rational side, tried to project out into the future. He’d asked her out. If she went, and if they had fun, maybe he would ask her out again. And again.
At what point would it be right for her to say, “Hey, Jack, you know your son Sammy? Well, he’s my biological child”?
Never. It would never be right for her to say that. Especially when she had promised her sister she wouldn’t. And her sister wasn’t around for her to renegotiate their agreement.
But if she turned down his invitation, which was what all logic suggested, her heart would break.
“I don’t have a formal dress” was what she ended up saying.
“That’s no problem,” he said promptly. “I still have some of Chloe’s dresses in storage. I can pull them out for you, and you can try them on while Sammy is napping one day.”
Did he have no concept of sizes? Did he not remember that Chloe had been a stick while Arianna was much more, um, full figured?
Did he not realize that wearing one of Chloe’s dresses would feel just plain weird?
Maybe he did have a concept of size, because he said, “Chloe fluctuated in size quite a bit during our marriage, and I think there are formal dresses in every size she ever wore. So it would be like shopping. You could take your pick.”
“Jack...I’m sure they wouldn’t fit,” she said. “But...maybe I could shop for a dress.”
“Then you will go to the gala with me?” Jack’s intense gaze left no doubt that he really wanted her to.
And it was that, that strong desire for her company, the sweet balm of it soothing her heart, that convinced her. “Yes, I’ll go.”
Go to her own doom, most likely.
The next day, Arianna ended up leaving the puppy with Jack and taking Sammy out shopping. “Best to get him out of here in the hopes he doesn’t catch whatever I’ve got,” Jack croaked. He was staying home from work because of the monster cold he’d contracted. “Me and Buster will catch up on our rest.”
Willie’s ancient pickup truck chugged up to the driveway area between Jack’s house and Penny’s, and Arianna took Sammy’s hand. “We’ll be a couple of hours, max,” she said to Jack. “Penny’s shopping for a dress, too, but I have a feeling she’s not a shop-all-day kind of person.”
“I’m not sure why Willie is taking you,” Jack said. “One or both of you could have driven.”
“True, but—” Arianna smiled “—if I had to guess why he made the offer, I’d say he wants to spend the time around Penny.”
“You’re probably right, but he must be really motivated to put up with clothes shopping.”
“That’s a bad attitude,” she said with mock sternness. “I’ll try to train Sammy differently. Now, you rest up and don’t worry. Sammy’s in good hands.”
“I know that,” he said, and his gaze on her was warm.
His obvious approval melted something that had long been frozen inside her. What would it be like to live in the warmth of that approval?
Flustered, she gathered Sammy and his bag and her purse and made her way out to Willie’s truck. Penny helped her get the car seat from Jack’s vehicle and they strapped Sammy in, and then the two women climbed into the front seat beside Willie.
“You’re a better man than I am,” Jack called out to Willie. “Guess you’re really missing Long John.”
“Long John ain’t near as pretty as these two ladies,” Willie said and gave Jack a wave as he pulled the truck out of the driveway.
Thirty minutes later, they were walking in the door of a funky little shop with a wild, psychedelic sign proclaiming they were entering Suzie’s Gently Used Emporium.
The tiny shop was lined with clothing, with racks encircling the first floor and a narrow balcony above entirely lined with more clothes. Shoes and purses stood on display tables in the center of the store, along with colorful scarves and jewelry.
“If we can’t find dresses here, they’re not to be found. And Suzie’s prices are very reasonable.” Penny was already flipping through the nearest rack.
In Arianna’s arms, Sammy stared, wide-eyed.
Having parked the truck, Willie came in and lifted Sammy out of her arms. “You shop. Sammy and I will walk around outside a little bit. It’s a nice day.”
As soon the door had closed behind them, Penny glanced over at Arianna. “In case you couldn’t tell, he’s mad at me,” she said.
“Why?” Arianna had noticed the tension in the truck on the way down.
“Because just before we picked you and Sammy up, I told him I’m going to the fund-raiser with Branson Howe,” she said. “He asked me first—what can I say?”
“Ouch.” Arianna looked off in the direction Willie had gone, feeling sorry for him. “Which one do you like better?”
Penny lifted her hands, palms up. “I don’t trust my feelings,” she said. “They’re what got me in trouble before.” She pulled out a purple dress, frowned at it and put it back. “I’ve tried taking it to God, but so far, He’s been quiet.”
Arianna found a rack labeled with her size and started looking at dresses, too. “Do you sometimes hear from Him? God, I mean.”
Penny looked at her quickly. “Yeah. I do. Do you?”
Arianna shook her head. “Not so far. I wish I would.” And then she realized that wasn’t quite true. She had heard from God. God had told her to tell Jack the truth.
She hadn’t done it. Was that why God had gotten quiet on her?
A woman carrying a tablet and an armful of blouses came bustling out from the back. “Hi, Penny,” she said. “Anything I can help you with?” She looked inquiringly at Arianna. “I don’t think I know you. I’m Suzie, and I own this place. It’s a bit of a jumble, but I can help you find what you need.”
“Arianna Shrader. I’m helping out up at Redemption Ranch.”
“We’re both looking for dresses for a fund-raiser,” Penny said. “Not exactly formal, but fancy.”
“Cocktail length?”
Penny nodded. “Although there won’t be any cocktails involved. It’s a Redemption Ranch fund-raiser, and too many of our veterans struggle with alcohol.”
“Right.” Suzie climbed the steep stairs to the second level and made her way along that narrow walkway until she found what she was looking for. “Ready? Catch,” she said from above and dropped a dress on Penny. Next, she walked a little farther along and pulled two dresses off hangers. “And these are for you, young lady,” she said. “Beautiful with your red hair. Fitting room is in the corner, behind the cash register.”
She and Penny took turns trying on the dresses. Penny came out in her elegant burnt-orange sheath just as Willie came back into the shop with Sammy. The older man stopped and stared. “You look so beautiful,” he said with a catch in his voice.
The adoration in his eyes made Arianna decide right then: she was officially on Team Willie.
Judging from the way Penny colored up, Arianna thought she might be leaning in that direction, as well. How the older woman would work that out when she was slated to go to the fund-raiser with Branson, Arianna couldn’t imagine.
After Penny had changed back into regular clothes, Arianna went in. She pulled on the turquoise dress and smoothed it down.
“Come out and show us,” Penny called.
She did, and they oohed and aahed, but Suzie frowned. “Try the other one,” she said.
“The other one is lime green,” she protested. “I love the color, but I’m afraid it’ll make me look fat. Don’t you have anything in black?”
“I do,” Suzie said, “and you’d look sophisticated in black, but try the green one first. Humor me.”
Arianna put it on and smoothed it over her hips. It clung, maybe a little too much, but flared out into a wide ruffle at her knees. The bodice fitted perfectly, with a modest keyhole neckline and cap sleeves.
She loved it.
Hesitantly, she came out of the fitting room, and all three of the others exclaimed and nodded enthusiastically. Even Sammy offered the half smile that was becoming his trademark.
“It’s so you,” Penny said. “Creative and fun and lively. You have to get it.”
“Not many of my customers could carry off that color,” Suzie said. “So I’m going to give it to you at half price.”
Arianna sucked in a breath. “You’d do that?”
“I would, as long as you promise to have a good time in it.”
“I will,” Arianna said. “God willing.”
Only, if God willed her to have a good time, a wonderful time, on a fancy date with Jack...then what might He will for her to do next?
Jack was brooding, and he wasn’t a brooder.
Oh, he was thrilled that Arianna had agreed to go out with him. But almost immediately, the worrier in him had kicked into action.
His father would undoubtedly hear about the fund-raiser, most likely be there. And he wouldn’t approve of Jack taking Arianna.
He’d admitted the truth to Arianna, that Chloe had been jealous, and she hadn’t found it upsetting. Maybe because she and Chloe already had their issues. So that was the biggest hurdle.
His father’s disapproval was a constant in Jack’s life, but his worry was that his father would say something rude to Arianna.
If this was going to be the reality going forward—that he and Arianna were exploring a relationship—and he fervently hoped it would be, then he needed to confront his father.
His opportunity came unexpectedly quickly, when his father dropped by the ranch to give Jack some of his old toys that Sammy might be able to use. They even had a good time pulling the old rocking horse and blocks from Dad’s trunk and reminiscing about Jack’s childhood, though Jack made sure his father kept a good distance, not wanting to infect him with his cold.
“Dad,” he said, “there’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”
“What’s that?” Dad put down the plastic push mower he’d been wiping off.
Jack cleared his throat. “I’m taking Arianna to the Redemption Ranch gala.”
“What? Do you know how that will look? People will think you’re dating!”
Here goes nothing. “I hope we will date. I care about her, and I’d like to see where things go between us.”
His father went back to wiping off the push mower, his movements jerky. “Then it’s true, what Chloe always said.”
Jack shook his head. “No. I was loyal to Chloe. I never thought about Arianna as anything other than a sister when Chloe was alive.”
“Humph.” Dad looked over at him, a glare from beneath heavy eyebrows. “Your mother always thought there were problems in your marriage. I didn’t.”
“There were some problems.” And Jack didn’t want to go into them. “Doesn’t every marriage have some problems?”
Dad lifted his chin. “Your mother and I had forty-five years of happiness.”
“Really?” All too well Jack remembered the days of silence, the tight-lipped dinners, the icily polite interactions between his parents. But he certainly wasn’t going to bring that up now. “I’m happy it was that way for you, Dad. Chloe and I had a lot of happy times, too.” Before her anxieties had driven her to thoughts that had made her miserable. Again, like always, he wished he’d known better how to help his wife. He’d grieved double for her because he hadn’t had time to do everything he’d meant to do to help her.
“I don’t like it, son. You’re making a mistake.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way. I wanted you to know.”
He was walking his father to the car when, unexpectedly, Willie’s truck chugged up and parked beside Dad’s Oldsmobile. The contrast was almost comical.
But Jack’s tension rose. Would Dad say something awful to Arianna? Not everyone realized how sensitive she was beneath her fun-loving exterior.
Arianna jumped out, waved to his father and reached to extract Sammy from his car seat.
Penny climbed out. “You should see Arianna’s dress,” she said to Jack. “She’s going to be the belle of the ball, and to think, she got the dress half-price from a thrift shop!”
Jack frowned. If Arianna were still so short on money that she couldn’t afford a new dress, then why hadn’t she taken him up on his offer of Chloe’s dresses? They were all fashionable, some of them with designer labels.
His father was staring at Penny and Arianna. “Thrift shop? You’re clothes shopping at a thrift shop?”
Penny smiled at him. “Hi, Mr. DeMoise. Suzie’s Gently Used is one of Esperanza Springs’ most successful businesses. Recycling at its best. I got my dress there, too.”
Jack cleared his throat. “Actually, Dad, Mom sold a number of her dresses to Suzie’s. As did Chloe.”
“Selling clothes to those less fortunate is one thing. Buying them there is another,” Dad said.
Arianna was standing against the car, a bag clutched in her hand. “Did Chloe, um, donate a lot of dresses to Suzie’s?”
“She sold them on consignment, and yes.” Jack could tell she felt uneasy from the look in her eyes. “Why?”
Slowly, Arianna opened her bag, pulled out a lime-green dress and held it up to herself. “There’s no way this was one of Chloe’s. Right?”
Jack stared at the dress he and Chloe had argued about. He’d bought it for her as a surprise, early in their marriage, and she’d hated it. Too loud. Too unusual. And why did he even think she could wear a size twelve? She’d been size eight, mostly, for years!
What were the odds Arianna would have come home with Chloe’s dress? He cleared his throat. “Actually, that was one of hers. She never wore it,” he added hastily. “She decided it wasn’t her style.”
The words hung in the air as everyone processed the awkwardness of the situation.
“I should say not,” Dad bluffed. “A little exotic for Chloe.”
Maybe I wished she were a little more exotic. The very thought made Jack’s face burn. But he forced himself to think back. He’d thought she would like the dress. She liked green, and he’d known the style would suit her figure.
Remembering Chloe’s reaction to the dress made Jack tense up. Would Arianna be as emotional as her sister had been, although for different reasons? Would she freak out, get upset, cry? She had every right to do so.
“Well,” she said, with cheer in her voice that was only partially forced, “we do have the same coloring. I’d be honored to wear a dress Chloe picked out. She had really great taste.”
Dad opened his mouth, and for a horrible moment, Jack thought he was going to make a quip about taste in men.
Willie came to the rescue, slapping Dad on the back. “That young gal sure is pretty, but you ought to see our Miss Penny in her new dress. It’s the color of a sunset and fits her to a T. Brings out those amber eyes of hers.”
“Oh, now, Willie,” Penny said, and then Dad said he had to leave, and Penny and Willie went off toward her place.
Arianna swept up Sammy in her arms. “You,” she said, pointing a finger at Jack, “need to get back to bed. You look terrible. And Sammy needs you to be healthy.”
“I’m sorry about all that,” he said, not moving toward the house, but pointing at the bag into which she’d stuffed the green dress. “I had no idea you were going to shop at Suzie’s, and even if I’d known, I don’t think I’d have imagined that you would light on a dress of Chloe’s.”
“I didn’t light on it, exactly,” she said, her voice thoughtful. “Miss Suzie went and picked it out especially for me. I didn’t even think it would look good on me, but it was perfect. Was she friends with Chloe?”
“Let’s just say they did business together. Chloe bought a lot of clothes and changed sizes a lot, so she tried to recoup some of her money there.”
Arianna nodded. “It’s just a little weird that the store owner would choose that particular dress for me to try on. I’m trying to remember whether Penny introduced me by name, whether she might have known my connection to Chloe.”
“Arianna,” he said, “anyone who looked at you would know you’re connected to Chloe. You guys look so similar.”
“Really?” Arianna cocked her head to one side. “I never thought so. And Mom always said...” She trailed off and looked away. “We should get you and Sammy both inside and into bed.”
“What did your mom always say?”
Arianna frowned. “She said that Chloe was the beauty and the brains,” she said slowly, “and that I was the ditz.”
He blew out a breath and shook his head. Amazing what some people considered good parenting.
“If the shoe fits,” Arianna said. “Believe me, Jack, ‘ditz’ is one of the nicer names she called me. I was always failing to live up to her expectations. I was a real loser in high school.”
He wanted to put his arms around her so badly that his whole body ached with it, but he didn’t. It would be inappropriate, and besides, he didn’t want to pass along his germs. “You’re not a loser in my book,” he settled for saying.
Now wasn’t the time to pull her closer. But maybe, just maybe, the fund-raiser would be.