Tell him now. You have to tell him now.
A sharp knife of dread lodged itself in Arianna’s throat. She coughed past it, ruthlessly. “Jack, I—”
“Let’s go somewhere more private,” he interrupted. He put an arm around her shoulders and guided her toward a back doorway. “There’s a little courtyard out here, and I don’t think anyone from the gala has discovered it.”
Relief washed over her at the brief reprieve, and then her anxiety thrummed back even louder. No matter how beautiful the spot, she was about to tell him something ugly.
Oh, Sammy’s birth wasn’t ugly. Any baby was a blessing, and Sammy felt like a special one. His adoption, too, was a beautiful thing.
But the cover-up, the fact that Jack had been raising Sammy for eighteen months, unaware of her and Chloe’s conspiracy of silence... That was ugly and that was a mistake.
“Here we go.” Jack led her out into a cool green oasis. Small trees surrounded a tiled courtyard. In the center was a fountain with burbling water and two small benches. Some night-flowering plant scented the air.
Arianna was praying now. Please, God, give me the right words. Help me explain in a way that does the least damage to Sammy, to Jack and to Chloe.
The thought of her sister made guilt rise up in her. I’m sorry, Chloe. I couldn’t keep the secret. She was picturing her sister’s face, sad and anxious and judgmental.
Jack drew her to a bench and tugged gently at her hand. “Sit down,” he said. “Now, what’s this big secret you have to tell me?” His tone was indulgent.
She looked into his kind eyes and tried to memorize their tender expression, because she didn’t think it was going to last much longer.
“If you keep looking at me like that,” he began, brushing a stray strand of hair back from her face, letting his thumb trail along her cheek, “I’m not going to be responsible for what happens.”
Her heartbeat accelerated. “Chloe—”
“Shh.” He touched a fingertip to her lips. “I’ve made my peace with Chloe and how she’d feel about us being together. She’s in such a better place now, I can’t think she’d begrudge us happiness.”
He leaned forward and gently brushed his lips across hers, releasing a tsunami of emotions inside her. Her heart cried out with longing to melt into his kiss.
It was the love and acceptance she’d always longed for. Jack knew her, had known her for years now, and he cared for her, wanted to kiss her. And not just to kiss her, but to be close in every way, a closeness of the heart and mind.
She tried to hold on to reason. The further she let this go forward, the worse the truth would be when it came out. Pulling back, she extracted herself from his arms and turned away. “I mean it, Jack. Remember when you and Chloe were trying so hard to adopt, and it wasn’t happening because of her issues with anxiety and depression? Until finally, the agency let you know that they had a baby for you?”
His phone pinged, and he held up a hand. “Hold that thought. I have my phone on Do Not Disturb, except for Mrs. Jennings. Let me check what’s going on.”
Arianna grasped hard at the iron bench. She was launched now. She just had to keep the flow of words coming, and it almost felt like a relief to finally let Jack in on the truth. She waited as he paced a little away, head down, focusing on whatever Mrs. Jennings was saying. “Uh-huh. Did you take his temperature? Oh yes, I hear him.” He glanced back at her, mouthed the word sorry.
“I’ll be right over to pick him up,” he said.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as he clicked off the phone.
“I don’t know. Mrs. Jennings says Sammy is really sick.”
“Oh no!” Fresh anxiety cut through her preoccupation with herself. “What’s wrong with him?” If something happened to Sammy, if he got sick...it didn’t bear thinking about.
He held out a hand and took hers. “I’m really sorry, but I’ve got to go. I’m not too worried. Mrs. Jennings tends to overreact, but just on the chance that she’s right and he’s picked up something serious, I’m going to head over.” They were walking rapidly back the way they’d come. They reached the door and he held it for her to walk inside. “Look, I’m sure you can get a ride home with Daniela or Penny. Stay and enjoy yourself.”
As if. “No,” she said. “I’m coming with you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. I’m worried about him.”
They made their way through the crowd and out to Jack’s car, and Arianna’s mind raced the whole time.
What if Sammy were sick enough to go to the hospital, and she couldn’t even visit him because she wasn’t thought to be related?
Keep him safe, Father, and I’ll tell the truth, no matter what the outcome.
“We’re almost there.” Jack considered running the last red light before the hospital. He decided he could wait rather than potentially explaining himself to a police officer, resulting in more time wasted. “How’s he look?”
Sammy wasn’t bellowing out his usual wail; instead, he just let out a series of small, fussy bleats that almost broke Jack’s heart.
“He’s still pale and feverish,” Arianna said from the back seat. “And... Oh no, he just threw up. It’s okay, honey, it’s okay. We’ll get you cleaned up.” Looking in the rearview, Jack could see her digging through the diaper bag, finding wipes, cooing at Sammy the whole time.
Jack checked the intersection carefully and then gunned through the red light. He swung into the parking lot of the hospital and looked around wildly. He’d never been here before, never had need. Sammy was normally as healthy as a horse, and so was Jack himself.
There, a red sign: Emergency Room. He turned toward it with a squeal of tires, and a moment later, they were at the door of the ER. He jammed the car into Park and jumped out.
Arianna unfastened Sammy from the car seat and handed him out to Jack. “I’ll go park the car and then be right behind you.”
“Thanks.” He didn’t know what he’d have done without her. Mrs. Jennings had gotten worried because, in addition to him having a fever, Sammy’s diaper had been dry for hours. Initially, that hadn’t seemed like such a big deal to him, but seeing Sammy’s dull fussiness, feeling his high fever, he was getting a much more serious set of worries.
He carried Sammy inside—man, he was burning up—and rushed a lackadaisical clerk through infuriatingly slow intake procedures. Arianna hurried in just as the med techs came to get Sammy.
They wanted to put him on a gurney. But Sammy wailed and clung to Jack. “I’ll carry him in,” Jack said and headed toward the double doors.
“Sir, our procedure dictates that—”
Arianna sped up to interrupt, walking alongside the tech who seemed to be in charge. “He has autism. Change bothers him, and he has sensory issues. He can’t be separated from his dad.”
“Ma’am, what’s your connection to this child?”
“She’s his aunt and she takes care of him, and he needs her in here,” Jack said over his shoulder. Then they were in a cubicle and everything moved in double time: an IV and blood tests—horrific trying to find Sammy’s vein—and then waiting for the chest X-ray and renal ultrasound.
“Why are they testing his lungs and kidneys?” Arianna was holding Sammy now, rocking him gently back and forth, and Jack gave information to the doctors and then paced.
“The fact he hasn’t been urinating. There might be something wrong with his kidneys. The chest X-ray...heart, lungs, bones, there’s a lot they can see from it.” He blew out a panicky breath, trying not to think about the radiation and its effect on a baby like Sammy. Right now, they had to find out what was wrong, and fast.
Somehow they got through the tests, and the IV started to help with his blood volume and electrolyte balance. Sammy was admitted to a private room in the pediatric unit—not the ICU, for now—and the sun had already risen over the hospital parking lot when the pediatric ER doctor finally came in with the test results. He checked Sammy over visually and looked at the monitors, but didn’t wake him.
“He’s stable for now,” the doctor said then, pulling up a chair to sit knee to knee with Jack and Arianna in the room, crowded with machinery and supplies. “But this is serious.”
“What’s going on?” Jack’s heart felt like it was going to fly out of his chest. It was only natural to take Arianna’s hand and squeeze it tightly. He felt like he was holding on to a lifeline.
“He seems to have gone into renal failure.”
Jack’s stomach hollowed out, and emptiness filled him. His lungs felt empty, too, like he’d run a long race; it was hard to catch his breath.
The doctor looked from Jack to Arianna and then perched reading glasses on the end of his nose and looked down at the sheaf of test results in his hands. “Right now we don’t know why, and figuring that out will help determine our course of treatment. He’s going to be here a few days, I would think. But this could be the beginning of a long process.”
As long as the doctor was talking about beginnings rather than endings. He slowed his breathing deliberately. He had to hold it together. What he wanted was to take Sammy in his arms and hold him tight, but the poor kid was sleeping, finally, and Jack wouldn’t indulge himself by waking him up. He reached over and patted his son’s blanket-covered foot instead. “Renal failure,” he repeated, trying to take it in, to understand it.
“He’s going to be okay?” Arianna sounded as desperate as Jack felt himself.
“I hope so,” the doctor said, which wasn’t exactly the reassuring answer Jack wanted to hear. “Do you know if he’s ingested anything new in the past twenty-four, forty-eight hours? Chewed on something, gotten into some medicine?”
“I don’t think so,” Jack said, and Arianna frowned and shook her head. “He’s been with one of us constantly until tonight, and he was with a dependable babysitter tonight.” Guilt suffused him at leaving Sammy with Mrs. Jennings. He didn’t suspect her of leaving Sammy unsupervised, but if he’d been with his son himself, he might have noticed symptoms sooner.
“The other question is genetic,” the doctor said. “For two reasons. One, is there any history of kidney disease in either of your families? And two...” He met their eyes again. “Is there a potential donor, if it should come to that? Which could include either of you.”
Jack sucked in a breath.
“A kidney donor?” Arianna sounded as shocked as Jack felt. “Is that...likely? Is it that bad?”
“We just don’t know yet. If it’s needed, we’d want it to happen quickly, and that’s why I’m bringing up the subject now.” He reached over and patted Sammy’s foot just as Jack had done. “I certainly hope not, and there’s a good chance that he’ll clear whatever infection or toxicity is causing the problem and be just fine.”
Jack shook his head slowly. “He’s adopted,” he said. “Closed adoption. I can petition to have the records opened for medical reasons, but there’s time and paperwork involved.”
“Definitely get it started.” The doctor frowned. “I’d like to see the family history ASAP.”
Arianna let out a choked sound.
Jack and the doctor both turned to her, and Jack squeezed her hand.
Her breathing was rapid, her eyes huge, staring at Sammy.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked.
At the same time, the doctor patted her hand. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
She cleared her throat and looked at the doctor. “I can actually answer those questions,” she said. “About his genetics?” Her face was almost as white as the doctor’s jacket.
“You’re the aunt, correct?” The doctor consulted his records and then looked expectantly at Arianna.
“Ye-e-e-s,” she said, drawing out the word. “I’m his adoptive aunt. But I have some information about his genetic background.”
Jack had been holding her hand all this time, but now he dropped it, turned and studied her. What was she talking about?
Her gaze flickered over to him and then back to the doctor. “Sammy doesn’t have any biological relatives with kidney disease,” she said, speaking slowly and clearly, kind of like a person who’d had too much to drink and was trying to sound sober. “And he does have at least one direct relation who’s willing to be tested as a donor if it becomes necessary.”
Her words made no sense. “Arianna,” Jack said, “how can you know that?”
The doctor looked up from his chart.
Arianna met Jack’s eyes and took his hand again, swallowed convulsively. “I know it,” she said, “because I’m his biological mother.”
Jack stared at her. “What?”
She nodded. “I carried him and birthed him,” she said. “He’s my son.”
Jack’s world, as he knew it, seemed to spin faster and faster until it exploded.