Dave Dirt’s Jacket Pocket

In Dave’s jacket pocket

the last time I looked

was half a cold burger

three days ago cooked,

a dead mouse, ten dog hairs,

a chip, chewing gum,

a two-week-old note

to the Head from his mum,

a very old conker

that mouldiness grows on,

a twisted Tube ticket

for blowing his nose on,

a bitten-off fingernail,

part of a snail,

the tongue of a snake

and a dry lizard’s tail,

a piece of a sweet

just as sticky as glue,

all forming together

a horrible stew!

Don’t ask him to show you.

Of this there’s no doubt:

one look at the thing will

turn you inside out!

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