Angie yawned and struggled to keep her eyes open as she waited in line to go through passport control. Sleep had mostly eluded her during the flight, as concern over Jayden sat heavily on her heart. Despite her weariness, she smiled at the security officer as he checked her papers and thanked him when he gave her the stamp and a nod. She then proceeded to the luggage carousel and waited for her bag to arrive. As she waited, more messages beeped on her phone. She quickly glanced at the screen. Cole. What was he doing awake in the middle of the night? She let out a sigh. She’d have to call him, but not now.
Her bag wobbled as it broke through the gate and landed with a thump on the conveyer belt. As it approached, she squeezed between the throng of people and grabbed it before heading to the Arrivals Hall where she knew Tessa would be waiting.
When Angie and her parents had visited Australia just over a year ago, she had immediately warmed to Tessa. She didn’t fit the stereotype for step-mothers. For one, she was considerably younger than Kathryn, Jayden’s biological mother, and she had a kind and caring nature. And Jayden loved her. Despite the rocky start after Tessa and his dad married, they’d grown into a loving, close-knit family. Angela couldn’t begin to imagine how they must be feeling with Jayden lying in the hospital, not knowing whether he would live or die. Until now, she’d only really thought about how she was feeling, but now that she was here in Brisbane, she realised how selfish that had been. Ben and Tessa must be distraught.
As Angie approached the exit, she took a steadying breath and prayed for strength for whatever was ahead. As much as it challenged her to pray it, she knew she had to… Your will, not mine be done…
She quickly scanned the sea of faces until she found the one she knew, and then lifted her hand and waved. Tessa’s face lit up and she waved back. They stepped towards each other and embraced. Angie fought tears as she thanked Tessa for coming.
“It’s my pleasure, Angie. How was your flight?”
“Long.”
“You must be tired.” Tessa rubbed her arm.
“I’m okay.”
“I guess you’d like to see Jayden straight away, or would you like a shower first?”
“I’d like to see him, if that’s okay. I hope I don’t smell too bad.” Somehow, she managed a small laugh. She was about to say Jayden wouldn’t be able to smell her anyway, but the words caught in her throat. “Is he… is he still the same?”
“Yes, no change at all. It’s so hard to see him like that.” Tessa took one of Angie’s bags as they began walking towards the exit.
“Do they think he’ll wake up?”
“They don’t know. We’re all hoping and praying he will, but no one knows.”
“It must be so hard for you.”
Tessa nodded and bit her lower lip. “It’s certainly teaching us to trust God. He’ll be so surprised to see you if he wakes up. Thank you for coming.”
“I had to…” Her voice wavered.
Tessa slipped her arm across Angie’s shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Angie. I don’t know too many people who’d drop everything and jump on a plane and fly around the world on their own.”
“When your best friend is hurt, I guess you do almost anything.”
“I guess so.” The car beeped as Tessa pressed the button on her keyring. “Sorry about the state of the car… we haven’t had time to clean it since we left home.”
“I’m sure that would be the least of your worries.” Angie glanced in the back—it wasn’t that bad. Just a few toys and pencils on the floor.
“Yes, but you know what Ben’s like.”
Angie let out a small chuckle. “Just like …” She stopped mid-sentence. She was about to say Jayden and me, but she actually meant Cole and me.
Tessa’s brows furrowed and a puzzled expression flitted across her face as they climbed in.
Angie didn’t finish the sentence. Ben and Tessa must think it strange that she’d come this far to see Jayden when she was dating someone else. Why did everyone think it odd that she and Jayden had continued their friendship when she’d started dating Cole? Did they have to stop being friends to satisfy everyone’s expectations? Cole wasn’t too happy about it, but if Jayden were a girl, no one, including Cole, would have been concerned. Just because he was a boy, it was considered inappropriate. But they were just friends. They’d agreed to that years ago. Nothing more could come of their friendship. They lived on opposite sides of the world, and neither wanted to leave their families. They were brother and sister in Christ. That was all.
“How far is the hospital?” She changed the subject.
“About twenty minutes. Would you like something to eat first?”
“No, but thanks. I think I ate too many of those airplane meals. I might have to fast for a day.”
“I know what you mean. They help pass the time, that’s about all.”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t sleep, did you?”
“Do I look that bad?” Angie pulled the visor down and studied her reflection in the vanity mirror. The whites of her eyes were etched with red and she could definitely do with some make-up.
“I didn’t mean that.” Tessa gave an apologetic smile.
“No, but you’re right. I barely slept.”
“I’m sure you’ll feel better after a good sleep.”
“I doubt I could sleep. Not with Jayden like he is…”
“That’s what we thought to start with, but you have to. I guess you’ll have jet lag, too. That won’t help.”
“It feels strange being in the future. It’s still the middle of last night back home, and now it’s the next night here. I’ve lost a whole day.”
“But you’ll gain it when you go home.”
“I guess so.”
Tessa slowed and turned into the multi-level hospital parking lot. “Just as well visiting hours are over, otherwise we wouldn’t get a park.”
“Over? Won’t we be allowed in?”
“Jayden’s in the ICU. They have different rules there.”
“Right.”
Tessa parked the car and turned to pick up her purse from the back seat.
Their eyes met. For a long moment, Angie held Tessa’s gaze. “What does he look like?” Her voice had grown shaky and her eyes welled.
Tessa took her hand and squeezed it. “Like himself. Just with tubes and monitors attached to him, and a bandage around his head. The hardest thing is to see him unresponsive, but we talk to him normally, and we read to him, and we play music for him. The doctors say he can’t hear it, but we’re not so sure. Seeing him like this is confronting, I won’t pretend otherwise. Will you be okay? We can go home and come back in the morning if you’d prefer.”
“No, I want to see him. I just wanted to be prepared, that’s all.”
“That’s understandable.”
Angie nodded. “I think I’m ready.”
“Okay. Ben’s up there with him, and no doubt there’ll be others in the waiting room. His friends have been amazing.”
“I’ve seen the Facebook post Neil put up.”
“Yes, so many people are praying.”
“He’s going to get better, isn’t he?” Fresh tears welled in her eyes and flowed down her cheeks.
“Oh Angie. We hope so, but we need to remember that God knows what He’s doing.”
She sniffed as she searched her purse for a tissue. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be. We’re all struggling.” Tessa reached out and hugged her. “We’re all here for each other, but you don’t need to pretend to be strong, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you.” She dabbed her eyes. “I think I’m ready to see him now.”
“Let’s go.” They climbed out of the car and headed to the ICU ward.
In the waiting room, a small group of young people sat quietly. They looked up as Angie and Tessa entered. Angie didn’t recognise any of them, and they didn’t seem to know who she was, for which she was grateful. The last thing she wanted to do right now was to engage in chit-chat with people she didn’t know.
One of the girls, a tall, attractive blonde stood and approached Tessa, her face filled with concern. Angie stiffened. Was the girl sweet on Jayden? Before the jealousy tugging at her heart could take hold, she stopped herself. Did it matter if the girl was sweet on him? After all, she was dating Cole. Jayden was at liberty to have a girlfriend if he wanted. That was their agreement.
Tessa smiled at the girl and held her hands out. “Hello, Sophie. Nice to see you.”
Sophie took Tessa’s hands as her eyes watered. “Likewise.”
“How long have you been here?”
She sniffed. “Not long. We came after the prayer meeting.”
“You’re all so wonderful. Thank you.”
“It’s the least we can do.”
“Well, we appreciate it.” Tessa let Sophie’s hands go and motioned for Angie to join her. “Everyone, this is Angela Morgan from Montana in America. She’s Jayden’s friend, and she’s just arrived.”
A shadow crossed Sophie’s face before being replaced with a forced smile. Yes, she was definitely sweet on him.
“Angie, this is Sophie. Pastor Stanthorpe’s daughter. And this is, oh, I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten your names.”
A boy about the same age as Jayden stood and introduced himself as Joshua. The other two followed suit.
“Cooper. Nice to meet you.”
Angie smiled and shook his hand.
“And I’m Stu. Welcome to Australia.”
“Thank you.” She shook his hand as well.
The three boys reminded her of the boys in the youth group band back home at Hunters Hollow. Jayden had loved jamming with them for the few months he lived there. Maybe these were the boys he jammed with here.
“Angie’s eager to see Jayden, so we’ll catch up with you all later, but thank you so much for coming.” Tessa smiled at them as she motioned for Angie to follow her into the ward.
Angie paused after closing the door behind her. Machines beeped at regular intervals, and the hushed sounds of voices came from behind a curtain to her left. Apart from those sounds, it was all so quiet and clinical. She knew it would be, but knowing something in your head never fully prepared you for reality. Jayden was behind one of those curtains, lying lifeless with tubes and monitors attached to him. Now the time had come, could she really see him without breaking down and making a spectacle of herself?
Tessa placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay? It’s not too late to turn back.”
“I just need a minute, that’s all. It’s just a bit surreal.”
“I know how you feel. Take as long as you need.”
“Thanks.” Angie drew a steadying breath and released it slowly. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”
Tessa gave an understanding nod and then continued along the ward, pausing midway in front of a curtained cubicle.
This was it. This is what she’d travelled half-way around the world for. To be with Jayden.
Tessa squeezed her hand. “Ready?”
Angie nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
As Tessa slowly opened the curtain, Angie’s hands flew to her chest. Her gaze settled on Jayden lying motionless and lifeless on the bed. Although his head was bandaged, it was his blank, expressionless face that drew her attention and broke her heart. Jayden, so smart, so full of life, looked like a vegetable. How she prayed that wouldn’t be the case and that one day soon he’d wake up and be his normal, vibrant self again. But was she fooling herself? His life was in the balance. Only two things were on his side—his age, and God.
That night, after tearing herself from Jayden’s bedside and arriving at his grandparents’ home, Mrs. Scott welcomed Angie like a long-lost grand-daughter. Mr. Scott didn’t know who she was, but told her what pretty green eyes she had. So many things in life were cruel. Jayden lying in that hospital bed amongst the worst. Surely God would step in and make him better. After all, Jayden had been out doing His work when that guy punched him. But she wasn’t seeing things how God would want her to see them. She was looking at them from her perspective only. Selfishly, she wanted Jayden to get better. Everyone did. But if he died, he’d go to heaven, and wasn’t that where every Christian wanted to go? Yes, but Jayden was only twenty-one. Way too young to go to heaven.
Later, as she lay there on her bed trying to still her mind and heart so sleep would come, her phone buzzed. Without looking, she knew it would be Cole. She made a quick decision and answered it. “Cole, I was planning on calling you.” She propped herself against the pillows and flicked on the night lamp.
“Really?” He sounded more than cynical. “And when were you planning on doing that?”
“First thing in the morning. It’s midnight here.”
“And here is?”
“You know where I am.”
“Yes, but what I don’t understand is why?”
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Try me.”
Angela let out a long sigh. Here we go again… “Jayden’s like a brother to me. A really good friend. And he might die.” She struggled to keep her voice even. Cole didn’t like her getting emotional. He said it was a sign of weakness.
“I get the impression you like him better than you like me.”
“That’s not true. It’s just different.”
“How is it different?”
“I’m not dating him. We’re just friends.”
“I doubt you’d travel half-way around the world if I was dying.”
“Of course I would!” She hated the way she always had to defend herself with Cole. The longer this conversation went on, the more it confirmed to her they shouldn’t be together.
“I’m not so sure.”
And to be honest, neither was she.
“I was going to ask you to marry me this weekend. I may as well return the ring and get my money back.”
Angie’s eyes widened. She was too stunned to speak.
“So… what have you got to say to that?”
“I’m… I’m sorry, Cole. I told you I wasn’t ready. You’re putting too much pressure on me.” She gulped.
“But I love you, Angie. I want to marry you.”
She closed her eyes and bit back tears. “I need more time, Cole. I need to be sure. We both need to be sure.”
“I already am. I won’t give in. That dude isn’t going to win.”
“It’s not a competition.”
“Seems like it. What do I have to do to get your attention? Get knocked out and be on my death bed?”
“Please don’t say that.”
“If I didn’t love you, I’d be breaking up right now. I want you to come back. Don’t stay there. I need you. More than that dude needs you.”
“Cole, I want to be here. I’ll only stay until he wakes up, then I’ll come home.”
“Yeah?”
“I promise.” Angie swallowed hard. How could she promise that? Why had she promised that? What if Jayden woke up tonight? Would she go home tomorrow? “No, wait. I can’t promise that. I’ll come home when I’m ready. Okay?”
“No. It’s not okay. I want you to come home now.”
“I only just got here. I haven’t even slept yet.”
“What have you been doing?”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“The plane only got in four hours ago. I went straight to the hospital, and now I’m at his grandparents’ place. Trying to sleep. But wait. Why am I telling you this? I don’t need to justify myself to you.”
“But I’m your boyfriend, Angie. I need to know where you are and what you’re doing.”
“No, you don’t! And you know what? I’m breaking it off right now. I should have done it a long time ago, but I thought I loved you. But I don’t, Cole. I don’t love you. I don’t know what I ever saw in you.” She sucked in a breath. She shouldn’t have said that. “I’m sorry, Cole. I didn’t mean that.”
“It sounded like you did. That red hair of yours certainly fires you up. I can just see those green eyes flashing. It does things to me just imagining them.”
“Cole! Don’t say things like that!”
“Why not? You know how much I love you.”
Angie’s shoulders sagged. Cole would never let her break it off. How had she gotten herself tangled up with him? Stupid. Stupid. She thought she was cleverer than to be taken in by a big shot at college, but seems she wasn’t. Pride goeth before a fall, all right. “Yes, but I don’t love you.”
“Not yet. But you will.”
“No, Cole. I won’t. I want to break up.”
“I won’t let you.”
“You can’t force me to go out with you.”
“Watch me.”
Shivers ran down her spine. This was getting creepy. She’d always had an inkling he was a little unstable, but now she was convinced of it. “Cole, you can’t force me to do anything I don’t want to do. I don’t want to go out with you anymore. We’re officially over. We’re not a couple anymore.”
“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t. We’re meant to be together.”
“I don’t think so, Cole.”
“God’s told me that you’re the one for me.”
“It’s funny that He hasn’t told me that.”
He chuckled. “He will, Angie. Give Him time.”
“I’m going now. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay. But I want you home. Don’t stay there. Please.”
“I’ll come when I’m ready.”
The phone clicked off.
She squeezed her eyes closed. Her hands trembled and her chest felt constrained as if Cole had physically tied her up with a heavy cord. How had she allowed herself to get involved with him? How would she ever become uninvolved with him? That was the question.