Angie rose early and peeked out the window of the hotel room. The pale light of dawn filled the sky, and a light mist hung over the harbour. Unlike the previous evening, when boats of all shapes and sizes, including the old green ferries that chugged between the city and places such as Manly and Taronga Zoo filled the water, the harbour was still and quiet. She glanced at the clock on the bedstand. Half past five. Cole would most likely sleep until seven, so she had at least an hour. She slipped out of her pajamas and into her jogging suit. She needed time to think. After last night, when Cole told her he loved her, she needed to know her heart. If she’d been at home on the ranch, she would have galloped to the mountains, but here, she could only run.
The air, cool on her face as she stepped out of the hotel’s foyer and onto the almost empty pavement, invigorated her. She headed down the street toward the harbour, dodging the occasional early morning walker and taking care not to trip over the curb as she crossed the small sidestreets. Vendors had begun setting up their carts, and she gave each a smile as she jogged past, although her mind was elsewhere.
She needed to hear from God, to know His will for her, but as she paused and sat, gazing out at the water, she already knew what she had to do. She didn’t love Cole, and she never would. He wasn’t right for her, and she knew it. She’d known it a long time, but had kept side-stepping it. Maybe it had been fear of being alone, of not having anyone special in her life that had caused her to cling to the relationship even though Cole was slowly suffocating her.
Hot tears pricked her eyes. She brushed them away with the back of her hand. Her heart was heavy. I’ve been stupid and stubborn, God. I’m so sorry. You’ve blessed me with so much, and I don’t know why I didn’t trust You to provide for me. I know Cole’s not right for me. I don’t know if Jayden is either, but I’ll trust You to work that out, in Your time, not my own. Help me break the news to Cole. He won’t be happy, and I’m scared about what he might do. Help him to open his heart to You, really open it, Lord. And to seek You above all else. I feel so bad. Please help me. There’s no one like You. You’re the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, and I love You with all my heart. I’m sorry I strayed. But I’m back. And I thank You for being patient with me. Please bless my family, and Jayden and his family. And please bless and prepare Cole. Thank you, dear Lord. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.
Angie sipped her water and continued gazing out at the harbour which was slowly waking up. Why had she been so stupid? There’d been a time when she’d trusted God with all her heart, but she’d taken her eyes off Jesus and look what had happened. It was so easy to fall for the wrong man. Thank God she hadn’t agreed to marry him.
Cole definitely wouldn’t be happy, but it was the right thing to do and she should have done it a long time ago. She stood and stretched before continuing her jog along the harbour front, her heart lighter and at peace now that she’d made her decision.
Weaving her way back to the hotel, Angie took extra care as the streets had grown busy now that the city was starting to awaken. Cars, buses, taxis and push bikes all jostled for prime position at each set of traffic lights, as if another second gained would make a difference. The air began filling with exhaust fumes, and she was glad to reach the hotel’s foyer moments later.
Wiping her neck with a tissue, she pressed the button for the twentieth floor and waited. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted in the air, and she was tempted to grab a cup. But Cole would be expecting her to be dressed and ready for breakfast… coffee would have to wait until then. She smiled to herself. This would be the last day she’d have to think about what Cole wanted her to do. After today, she’d be free to be herself again, and that prospect filled her with joy and anticipation.
The elevator door opened and she stepped inside, selected her floor, and then leaned against the wall as the elevator sped upwards. Alighting, she walked down the corridor to her room, swiped the keypad and stepped inside. Her eyes popped. Cole stood in the middle of the room, his arms crossed, a glazed expression on his face. A shiver ran down her spine.
“Where’ve you been, Angie? I’ve been waiting for you.”
“I… I went for a run.”
“Without your phone?”
Blinking, she quickly felt her pocket. Empty. “I… I must have forgotten to take it.”
“I thought you’d run off and left me.”
“Why would I do that?”
Tears welled in his eyes. “Because you don’t love me.”
She stepped closer. “Cole…”
“Don’t.” His voice choked. “I thought that with me coming all the way here, and then bringing you away for the weekend, I might have convinced you to love me. Obviously not. I’ve got nothing to live for now.”
“That’s not true. You’re a wonderful man. You’re smart, good-looking, fun to be around…”
“If that were true, why don’t you love me?” He sounded heartbroken.
She felt a chill creep up her arms. How could she end their relationship now? He’d probably do something stupid. “I don’t know, Cole, but we’re not right for each other. Surely you can sense that?”
“No, I don’t. I think we’re perfect for each other and I want to marry you.” He pulled a box out of his pocket. “I brought it with me.” He stepped forward and bent down on one knee as he looked up at her. “Marry me, Angie. I can’t live without you.”
Her heart pounded as she drew a slow steady breath and sent up a prayer for help. This was not what she’d expected. “I’m sure there’ll be someone special for you, but it’s not me. I’m really sorry. I can’t marry you, and in fact, we need to go our own ways. It’s not working.”
His face blanched. “What are you talking about?” He rose slowly and stepped close. Too close. “You can’t do this. I need you.”
“No you don’t. You might think you do, but you’ll be fine. Go home. Spend some time with your family. Catch up with your friends. Reconnect with God. You never know what’s around the corner. Or who you might meet.”
“But it’s you I want, Angie. Only you.”
Her stomach knotted. The message wasn’t getting through. “You have to let me go, Cole. It’s what I want.”
His eyes narrowed. “It’s that boy, isn’t it? The one you came half-way around the world to see. What does he have that I don’t? At least I have a brain that works.”
She slapped his face and then immediately regretted it. Stepping forward, she grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry, Cole. I didn’t mean that.”
“I think you did. I was right. It’s that boy.”
“He’s not a boy. He’s a man. But no, we’re just friends.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“That’s your choice.”
His hands dug into her arms, and he pressed his lips against hers. “I bet he can’t kiss you like I can.” His lips were hard and rough as he forced himself on her.
She tried to push him away. “Get off me!” Her breaths came fast as panic took hold.
“You’re not going to leave me, Angie. I won’t let you.”
“You can’t make me stay.” She struggled harder.
“Watch me.” He lowered his mouth again and pressed so hard she screamed. “Leave me alone, Cole. Get out!” With strength she didn’t know she had, she shoved him towards the door. He stumbled and hit his head on the frame and fell to the ground.
She raced over to him and bent down, her heart pounding. “Cole, are you all right?”
He didn’t move. Fear sped through her body. Surely he wasn’t dead. She felt for a pulse but then looked at his chest. It rose and fell. Thank God, he was breathing. He moaned and opened his eyes. “What did you do?” He blinked as he struggled to sit but then flopped his head against her chest.
“I didn’t do anything. You fell.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. It wasn’t meant to have ended like this. She cradled his head as her tears fell freely. “I’m sorry, Cole. It’s just not going to work.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” He raised his head and looked into her eyes, pleading. “Change your mind? Please.”
She shook her head. “No. I’ve prayed about it, and this is the way it is. I’m really sorry, but it is.”
“So, this is it?” His voice was barely a whisper.
She nodded.
“I may as well fly home right now, then.”
“I think so.”
He straightened, resolve growing on his face. “I’ll go pack.”
“Would you like me to help?”
“No. I have to learn to do things without you.”
“Okay. I’ll call a taxi.”
“Do that.”
“What about changing your flight?”
“I’ll do it at the airport. I’ll get the first available flight.”
“Okay.” She couldn’t believe this was happening. “Are you sure you don’t want breakfast first?”
He opened the door. “I can’t sit and look at you, Angie. It’d tear me apart.”
“So, we can’t even be friends?”
“No.”
“What about when we go back to college?”
“I probably won’t be alive.”
“What are you saying?” She ran after him. “Don’t manipulate me, Cole.”
“I’m not. I just don’t feel like living.”
“Don’t be silly. You’ll get over this.”
“I doubt it.” He threw his belongings into his bag.
She inhaled deeply. She was getting nowhere fast. “Okay. I’ll pray for you, but you’ve got to accept this, okay? It’s not the end of the world.”
“It feels like it.”
She had nothing more to add. He was unstable, and she hadn’t seen the signs. She’d call his parents. Let them know what had happened. Make sure he got help. How would she forgive herself if he did something stupid?
She poured herself a glass of water and then called a taxi.
Less than an hour later, after she’d seen him into the cab and given the driver instructions to take him straight to the International Airport, Angie checked out of the hotel and caught another cab to the domestic airport. She was heading back to Brisbane and to Jayden, and for the first time in a long time, she felt truly free.