CHAPTER 37
“This was the worst Christmas I’ve ever had.” Ean fixed his gaze on Darius’s flat-screen television. He was more interested in avoiding his friend’s eye contact than in this New Year’s Eve college football bowl game.
“It was your first Christmas without your father. How’s your mother?” Darius reached forward to bathe his tortilla chip in the salsa bowl sitting on his coffee table.
“She’s better today.” Ean glanced at Darius. “It was nice of you and Leo to stop by.”
The words seemed inadequate. Ean grew quiet as he remembered the dozens of people, including Darius and Leonard, who’d dropped in on him and his mother. Even Ms. Helen had paid a visit. Life in a small town; everyone knew everyone’s business, and rallied around their neighbors in need. Their friends truly seemed interested in helping them through their first Christmas without Paul Fever.
Darius washed down his chips and salsa with a swig of soda. “Your mother makes the best pies.”
That was Darius’s way of saying, “You’re welcome.”
Darius grunted. “Quincy had the right idea. Convince your parents to retire to Florida, then spend the holidays with them, surrounded by beaches and palm trees.”
“Which makes coming back to the snow even harder.” Ean’s tone was dry. The joke helped lift his mood, at least temporarily.
Darius’s tidy two-bedroom apartment bordered on barren. In fact, if it hadn’t been for the calendar in the kitchen, one wouldn’t have any idea it was the holiday season. Ean couldn’t remember the last time Darius had gotten into the Christmas spirit.
“How was your Christmas?” Ean turned to his childhood friend in time to see his features stiffen.
“I survived it.” Darius munched on another chip as he stared at the television. “I always look forward to sharing dessert with your family.”
“We enjoy your company.” Ean’s gaze was once again drawn to his surroundings.
Darius’s bookcase served as the only window to his personality. It was crammed with nonfiction books, most on current events. The pictures on his fireplace mantel chronicled Darius’s years with Ean and Quincy. There were no family photos. You wouldn’t guess his parents lived two blocks away.
“How are things with you and Megan?” Darius’s question distracted Ean from his concern for his friend.
“We exchanged Merry Christmas voice mail messages Christmas morning.” Ean barely registered the wide receiver’s touchdown reception in the end zone.
Darius grunted again. “That’s lame.”
“I know.” Ean’s face heated. Perhaps he and Megan were both cowards, too afraid to face each other. “What exactly is the problem?” Darius seemed to have shaken off his maudlin mood in preference to interrogating Ean on the subject of his love life—or lack thereof.
“I told you. She doesn’t trust me.”
“And you’re basing this charge on her misunderstanding the reason your ex-bosses came to town.” Darius leaned forward and grabbed another fistful of tortilla chips from the bowl on his coffee table.
“That’s right.” Ean heard the righteous indignation in his voice.
“What would you have thought if the situation had been reversed?”
“If I’d been the one who saw Megan having lunch with her former boss?”
“Right.” Darius gestured with a chip. “But she hadn’t told you that her boss was coming to Trinity Falls, or that she was meeting her boss for lunch.”
“I wouldn’t have thought anything. I would’ve waited for her to explain the situation to me.”
“Really?” Darius arched a brow.
“Really.” Ean added a firm nod for emphasis.
“That’s interesting.” Darius’s eyes said he didn’t believe Ean. “I’d thought lawyers were more suspicious.”
“You were wrong.”
“Frankly, dude, I’d have been suspicious of you, too.”
Ean frowned. What was Darius’s point? “Why would I even consider an offer from my former bosses? It was my decision to leave the firm and move back to Trinity Falls. No one forced me.”
“Then why didn’t you tell Megan you were meeting with them?”
“You know why.” Ean sighed. “I didn’t want to get her hopes up in case the partnership to buy the center didn’t work.”
“But in her mind, you were keeping secrets.” Darius gestured with the chip again. “How can there truly be trust in a relationship if the people involved in it are keeping secrets?”
Ean refused to acknowledge that Darius was making sense. “And in my mind, she should have asked a question, instead of coming at me like some overzealous government prosecutor.”
Darius laughed. “Maybe she came at you kind of strong, but you’re expecting too much of her, man.”
“It’s too much to expect trust from the woman with whom I’m in a relationship?” Ean’s eyes stretched wide. “The reason she refused to move in with me is that she’s afraid I’m not going to stay.”
Darius settled back into the corner of the sofa and balanced his left ankle on his right knee. “Have you ever put yourself in Megan’s shoes?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Megan is a classic ‘fear of abandonment’ case, and she has good reason. Every significant person in her life has left her. Her parents died when she was young. Her grandmother died when she was in high school. Her grandfather died before she graduated from college. And her cousin’s always threatening to leave Trinity Falls.”
“I never thought of that.” Ean remembered Megan’s words “Everyone leaves, Ean.” He wanted to smack himself.
“It’s no wonder she’s waiting for you to leave, dude, especially since you’ve left before.”
Ean searched his friend’s face. “How did you know all this? Did she tell you?”
Darius shook his head. “She didn’t have to. I’m a journalist. I’ve got mad observation skills.”
Ean chuckled without humor. “In other words, I’m a self-centered asshole.”
Darius threw back his head and laughed. It was the first genuine amusement he’d heard from his friend all day. “Don’t put words in my mouth, man. You’ve only been back two and a half months. That’s not enough time, even for someone with my observation skills. It’s also not enough time for Megan to fully believe you aren’t going to leave her.”
Ean drained his can of root beer as he mulled over Darius’s words. His friend’s theory made sense. Why hadn’t he realized it on his own? He’d been blind, self-centered and—yes—stupid. Ean clenched his teeth. Maybe he hadn’t been back long enough to recognize the reasons behind Megan’s hesitation, but he’d known Megan practically their entire lives. He should have realized her personal experiences would make her cautious about his commitment.
“What should I do?” Ean looked up as Darius handed him another can of soda. He hadn’t noticed his friend had left the room for drinks.
“Ah, you’ve recognized my wisdom.” Darius sank back onto the sofa and popped open his soda. “Be patient. Stop pressuring her to trust you. Let her set the pace, and the trust will come.”
Ean nodded, but his heart was still heavy. “What if it’s too late? What if I’ve pressured her so much that I’ve already pushed her away?”
“Then you’ll need to consult someone with much more wisdom than me.”
“Who?”
Darius gulped his soda. “I’d start with your mother.”
Megan let herself into Ean’s townhome Tuesday evening with the key he’d given her two weeks earlier. She pressed a hand to her abdomen. The butterflies in her stomach must be hosting a rave. She dried her sweating palms against the thighs of her black jeans, then bent to haul her two stuffed suitcases—one at a time—across his threshold. She took her time shoving them into a corner beside the staircase. After locking the front door, she was out of delaying tactics. Megan took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. It was time to plead her case.
She mounted the stairs, letting the sound of the shower lead her to the master bedroom. The water stopped as she crossed the threshold.
Ean had set a change of clothes on the bed, stone gray slacks and the burgundy sweater she liked. A chill trailed down her spine. Where was he going? It was New Year’s Eve. With whom was he celebrating?
Megan sank onto the foot of the bed and lifted his sweater. Was she too late? Had he given up on her?
Ean emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a cloud of steam and nothing else. The scent of soap and shampoo trailed after him. He took her breath away. He appeared like a mythological hero—larger than life, brave, bold. She yearned to trace the sculpted muscles under his dark, damp skin, but this was too important. She couldn’t afford distractions.
Ean stopped when he saw her. Surprise and confusion swept through his olive gaze. She was used to a warmer welcome.
“Megan?” He sounded uncertain.
Megan released his sweater and stood on shaky legs. She braced her calves against the mattress for support. “I’m sorry to barge in on you. I hadn’t realized you were on your way out.” She gestured with a trembling hand toward his neatly laid-out clothing.
Ean’s attention dropped briefly to his bed before returning to her. He was silent for several long seconds. Was he trying to think of a way to ask her to leave?
“How did you get in?” He crossed to the bed and began to dress.
Megan’s eyes ate up his long legs and tight hips. She dragged her gaze up his muscled torso to his face. “You gave me a key to your townhome, remember?”
“Oh yeah.” He pulled his slacks on over his underwear. “I thought you were a mirage.”
What’s that supposed to mean? It was time to stop stalling. Megan wrapped her arms around her waist. “I’ve contacted a Realtor.”
Ean seemed startled. “Why?”
The sound of the zipper closing over his fly drained the moisture from her mouth. Megan remembered his question. “I’m putting my grandparents’ home on the market. I want to move in with you. I was afraid to, before. But I shouldn’t have let fear control my feelings for you. You were right.”
“I was wrong.” Ean’s flat statement interrupted Megan’s halting admissions.
“What?” Oh, God, did I wait too long? Did Ean not want her to move in with him anymore?
“I was an ass.”
“What?” Now she was thoroughly confused.
“You were right. I was on my way to tell you that. I had no right to pressure you into moving in with me, making that kind of commitment in only two months.” Ean pushed his hands into the front pockets of his gray slacks. “We’ll go at your pace.”
At her pace? Was he willing to give her another chance? Did he believe her now?
Megan spread her arms. “But I’m ready to make that commitment to you. I do believe that you’ve come home to stay. But even if you haven’t . . . If you want to return to New York, or move to Philadelphia or Timbuktu—I’ll go with you.”
Ean’s body froze. When he’d walked into his bedroom and found Megan sitting on his bed, he’d thought he was hallucinating. He’d thought all the nights of wanting her had caused his mind to snap. Now he thought he might be dreaming. “You’d leave Trinity Falls for me?”
Megan brushed her hands over her eyes. “A house and a store are not more important to me than you.”
Ean didn’t remember moving. But suddenly Megan was in his arms. He was holding her so tight and kissing her so deep. Her body against his, her heat seeping into his skin was healing the aches he’d borne over the past week. He tasted joy, relief, hunger—hers and his.
He plunged his tongue into her mouth, seeking her response. She pulled him even closer, digging her fingertips into his shoulders. Ean lowered his left hand to her firm buttocks and squeezed. Megan pressed her hips tighter against his burgeoning erection. She was with him. She responded with him and to him. His blood rushed through his veins. He wanted her now; he needed her always. Ean cupped her hips to raise her against him. He started for the bed. Megan wrapped her legs around his waist.
“You believe me now?” Megan’s breathy question confused him.
“Believe what?” He laid her on the mattress and covered her body with his own.
“That I know you’re staying in Trinity Falls. That I trust you. That our relationship is more than sex.”
Ean raised himself on his forearms and looked into her hot chocolate eyes. “I believe you. But I want you to take your grandparents’ home off the market.”
She gave him her long, slow blink, which always melted his heart. “But I want to move in with you.”
He pressed a quick, hard kiss against her soft lips. “I want to live with you, too. But your grandparents left you that house. I’d rather we lived there, if that’s all right with you.”
“I’d like that.” Megan’s smile started in her eyes. She cupped the side of his face. “Happy New Year, Ean. Welcome home.”
Ean pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand. “My home is in your arms, and that’s where I want to spend the rest of my life.”
He lowered his head to seal his promise with a kiss. Tonight they’d celebrate their new beginning, the New Year and Trinity Falls.