Titus inhaled deeply before pushing open the door to the War Room. When Noah had renovated the silo, he'd knocked out a wall and made the space larger, then brought in a giant oak table after getting rid of the glass one. Everyone now had a chair to sit in during the meetings.
The bank of computers still sat on the right and the large, white screen still hung from the far wall. The walls used to be glass, but Noah had changed that, as well. Now, they were made out of sheetrock, nails, and wood.
All the Warriors milled about, all of them dressed for a night of patrols. Titus gazed around the room.
Hudson glanced at him, surprise crossing his face. Roman followed his stare. Before he knew it, everyone had gone silent, and all gazes were upon him.
"What's up, Titus?" Noah asked.
"I ... I, uh, thought I would join you for patrols tonight."
Noah walked over to him, his brow furrowed. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
No, he wasn't certain about anything, but as much as he'd like to continue his sabbatical in his bed, Macy's words continued to play over and over in his mind. He had to at least try to get out from under the crushing weight of Simon's death.
"If it's okay with you, I'd like to go."
"He can roll with Roman and me," Hudson said, stepping up next to Noah.
Noah still studied him. "I don't know, Titus. I don't think it's a good time for you to be out on patrol."
"He'll be fine," Hudson interjected with a grin.
He had far more faith in Titus than he had in himself.
"The male has a tongue and lips, Hudson. Let him speak for himself," Noah said.
Hudson pulled Noah aside. Sweat formed on Titus’ brow and his stomach twisted as everyone glanced over at him and the hum of conversation picked up again. Most likely, they spoke of him.
What if Noah didn’t let him go? He’d leave the War Room in shame, but
maybe he wasn't ready to patrol. The lives of those around him could be in danger out on the street. Did he have the mental fortitude to deal with it? Would he be more of a hindrance than help?
Visions of Simon's brain matter blasting out the back of his head filled his mind.
Noah approached him. "Okay. You're with Hudson and Roman. Hudson, you watch him."
He nodded as Hudson stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I just went to bat for you. Don't let me down, man. I think you're solid and can perform just as well as anyone in here."
It reassured him Hudson felt that way, but he really had his doubts.
"Right now, you're probably uncertain. Get rid of the negative talk going through your head. You're strong physically—you just need to get your shit together mentally."
Sometimes, that seemed to be the hardest thing to do.
Noah announced they'd be leaving in a half-hour and told everyone to sit down.
He fully expected to be standing against the back wall while everyone took a seat, but then he noticed an open chair.
"Sit down, Rapunzel," Rayner said, pointing to the chair.
"We figured you’d come around sooner or later," Roman chimed in.
His nervousness increased, and he wiped his arm across his forehead to hide it. What if he let all these people down?
He took his seat and turned his attention to Noah. As he studied the map on the screen, he listened for his name as Noah read off the quadrants and who would be patrolling each one.
"And Titus will be going with Hudson and Roman," he finished.
Everyone glanced his way, but he kept his gaze trained on the screen. He didn't want to see the doubt he’d most likely witness in their eyes.
"Anyone have any questions?" Noah asked.
Titus looked down at his hands in his lap. The stares seared him, and he didn't know where he stood with most of the males in the room, as he hadn't bothered to talk to most of them in months. And those he had spoken to, it hadn’t exactly been stimulating conversation.
"All right, then," Noah continued. "Saddle up, ladies. Be safe, but let's try to make this a productive night, okay? Our main mission is to either lay eyes on Daniel, or find one of his fucked up followers and get information on where he might be."
Titus stood and filed out of the War Room. When in the hallway, Hudson grabbed one arm and Roman clutched the other.
"Come on to my quarters, Titus," Hudson said. "If you're hanging with me tonight, I want to make sure you've got more weapons than an army and that you know how to use them."
He allowed the two males to steer him toward the main elevator. "I'm very proficient with weapons. My military training and Micah made sure of it."
They stepped into the elevator, and Hudson sighed as he let go of his arm. "I know. That both comforts me and scares the ever-living crap out of me."
He watched the numbers drop until they landed on Hudson's floor.
"I have no intention of hurting you or anyone else in this silo. If I wanted to, I would have already."
"Are you kidding me? You’ve barely been out of bed," Roman teased.
Titus rolled his eyes, not bothering to say anything. It had become apparent that most in the silo thought of him as weak, but really, what did he expect? He hadn't exactly been social, and he'd only come out of his quarters when threatened or coerced. He couldn't blame any of them, and he'd feel the same if the roles had been reversed.
The elevator doors opened, and they heard ear-shattering screaming, followed by crying, startling all three of them. Hudson pushed his way past him and went into his quarters.
Titus glanced at Roman to see if they should enter or not, and Roman followed Hudson in.
"He's upset he's got to take a bath," Beverly said to Hudson.
Hudson kneeled down in front of his son, Killian, and smiled. "You have to get wet, big man."
"No, Daddy. I don't want to."
Titus furrowed his brow, trying to think if he knew how old Killian was, and realized he didn't. Heck, he didn't think he'd ever spoken to the little guy.
As if on cue, Killian trained his gaze on him.
"What's he doing here, Daddy? Is he feeling better?"
Titus winced. What had everyone told the kids about him? He'd never given it any thought, until now.
"I think he is."
"You said he was really sick," Killian said as he stared at him, his eyes glowing yellow.
"He was."
"And he's better now?"
Hudson nodded. "But let's get back to the original issue, Killian. You need to get in the bath and quit arguing with your mom."
"Okay, Daddy."
Hudson stood and kissed Beverly. She waved at them, and then took her son's hand and went to the bathroom.
When the door shut, Hudson sighed.
"What's up?" Roman asked.
"I never thought I could love someone so much, yet have that person drive me so damn crazy."
"Are you referring to Beverly or Killian?" Roman asked.
Hudson grinned. "Killian, you dick. Let's get you suited up, Titus."
The thought of having children made his mind spin. He and Simon had never discussed such things as it was physically impossible, and he'd never put much consideration into the task of caring for someone so helpless, taking care of their every need.
Isn't that what Macy has done for you?
Crap. He'd been acting like a child. Yes, Macy had taken care of everything, from making sure he had been fed, to ... to making sure he bathed.
He cringed.
"You okay, man?" Roman asked, laying a hand on his shoulder.
He had better move into the 'okay' zone fast, because although the pain radiated throughout him relentlessly, he would not act, nor be treated, as a child any longer.
Taking a deep breath, he nodded. "Yes."
Fifteen minutes later, Titus rode the elevator up to the kitchen flanked by Hudson and Roman.
The doors opened, and everyone except Beverly and Killian stood around waiting to wish the Warriors good luck with their mission that night.
Blake walked up to him and handed him a cell phone. “It’s ready to go, just turn it on. All our numbers have been programmed in.”
He nodded and looked around. Frankly, most of females seemed more interested in Annis' baby than they did in their mates. Abby rubbed her hand over her swollen belly as she cooed at Michael, and Faith and Liberty laughed and giggled as they touched his little toes and fingers.
Holly and Alaina stood back, both dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, and both looking very upset.
"They want to patrol with us," Roman whispered, following his gaze. "But Justice and Nico have said no."
He'd watched them in the gym a bit earlier, and they each seemed more than capable of handling themselves, yet he understood Justice and Nico's behavior. He used to worry sick about Simon when he wasn't with him, especially when it involved something dangerous, like actively seeking out a Colonist and the offspring that followed him.
"I guarantee you they won't be getting laid tonight," Roman continued.
Beverly and Killian arrived shortly thereafter, and Hudson took them both in his arms.
Titus glanced around again, wondering where Macy had gone. He finally spotted her in the very back of the throngs of people, near the door. She stared at him questioningly.
He moved through everyone, and she smiled when he reached her.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yes."
She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze and spoke in their native tongue. "Well, may our gods of peace and wisdom watch over you, as well as the humans' Saint Michael."
He bowed his head, feeling the warmth of caring emanating from her. "Thank you, Macy."
"Let's roll, gentlemen!" Noah yelled. "Remember your quadrants, and stay safe out there!"
He piled into a black Yukon with Hudson, Roman, Chase, and Jovan, with Blake driving. Blake turned on Billy Idol, keeping it loud enough that conversation would be impossible. They rode in silence as the desert gave way to the suburbs and the highway went from two lanes to eight.
While they sped past the humans' homes, he wondered what their lives were like. He assumed most had families and worked. Did they feel fear about the murders in their city, or because they lived out in the suburbs, did they even consider it? Most of the killings took place during the night while they were tucked away in their beds, miles from the trouble. One thing he had noticed in his short interactions with the humans was that they seemed very engrossed in their own lives. He'd seen a group of people sitting together at a table in a club. Supposedly, they had been there to talk, dance, and have fun with one another. Instead, they had all been staring at their phones.
Speaking of which ...
He glanced down at the brand new cell phone Blake had shoved in his hand before they left, and remembered when Micah had given one to everyone in the Platoon.
One night, when Micah and Jael had left their home, he and Simon had lain in bed together, playing with the phone and figuring how to work all the features. They’d particularly liked texting and the emojis. They'd made up their own language and had full conversations in emoji characters so no one would ever know what had been said.
"Let's designate the pig as Micah," he'd said to Simon. "That seems fitting."
Simon had laughed and thrown his arm around his stomach, his gaze becoming heated and his hand had traveled downward.
"And what symbol should we use for your cock?" he’d asked as he stroked him. "Perhaps the snake? Maybe the dragon?"
He had groaned and shut his eyes, tossing his phone to the floor. "If you keep that up, the whale will work."
A few months later, they’d caught Micah looking at their phones, and Titus had been grateful Micah had had no idea that most of the text had been about him. He had, however, railed at them for wasting time texting the pig emoji in different situations, like with a gun to its head or a knife to its back.
He wished he and Simon hadn’t been so afraid and uncertain about leaving Micah and striking out by themselves.
"Okay, this is your stop, Hudson," Blake said, bringing him out of his reverie.
Titus looked up to see that they had entered the city and Blake had pulled over on Second Street.
He shoved the phone back in his pocket and exited the car.
"See you ladies in a bit," Blake called as he pulled away from the curb.
"Let's do this." Roman cracked his knuckles, and Titus followed him down the street.