Chapter Eighteen

 

 

 

 

The shielding and protection spell had been more draining than Shade had initially anticipated. She rubbed her arm where a still-sensitive pink line lay as the only evidence of what she’d contributed to the spell. The flesh wound burned where she’d used her dagger to drag its blade across her skin, letting her warm, crimson blood drip along the large perimeter circle her mother had traced with salt. Shade and Benton had walked along the trail sprinkling drops of blood along it, strengthening the spell their mother chanted as they proceeded behind her around the grounds of the house. Shade was thankful they weren’t close to any neighbors. The nearest house was a few blocks away, and they were in no danger of being seen or heard.

Lucky for us, Shade thought, or we’d look pretty darn crazy out here waltzing around the house bleeding all over the place!

She sat on a tree stump in the front yard, moving one of her little brother’s bouncing balls around with her sneaker. The sun hung low in the afternoon sky, and there was a slight chill to the autumn air. Shade rubbed her arms, wishing she’d brought a hoodie out with her to keep her warm. The tree stump was big enough for one other person to sit on, which is exactly what Soap was thinking as he plopped down next to her.

“Hey, gorgeous.” He winked at her as she turned and smiled back at him. He still made her stomach flip when he shined his glistening green eyes at her. She pulled her gaze away from him, again feeling slightly guilty about her feelings for him and Dylan. Her heart lurched at the thought of Dylan missing from her life. It threatened tears at the back of her eyes, making her blink faster in hopes of keeping the tears restrained when Soap reached over and rubbed her back. She tensed for a moment but relaxed, feeling the warmth spreading from his hands and across her back. She felt the cold slip away, and the warmth embracing her like fire.

She turned toward him, surprise filling her face. “I didn’t know you could do that. Thank you,” she said softly. His face was calm and remained still as he gazed back at her. His eyes were full of things unsaid. Desire swirled in his irises, and flared them to an iridescent emerald.

She felt the heat radiating from him like the sun, almost sweltering in intensity. She liked how it felt. She had to admit that much, but her confusion hit her like a swift kick in the head.

Shoot, shoot, shoot, thought Shade.

She wanted to give in and let his magic envelope her, and to hold on tight. How could that be so bad? Plus, what if Dylan didn’t come back? She’d spent more time with Soap lately than she’d ever had with Dylan. Even so, her heart was holding onto Dylan’s steel grey eyes, which remained emblazoned in her mind. The way he would look at her had told her all she needed to know about how he felt. That alone was what stopped her from running into Soap’s awaiting arms. Something about Dylan had her holding onto his memory so tightly, it made her feel unfaithful when she let Soap embrace her.

Soap’s strong arms circled her shoulders. His lips moved dangerously close to her face as he breathed her in, letting her hair tickle his nose and cheeks. Shade gulped, afraid to ruin the moment by letting her feelings overtake her.

“I’m a Changeling, remember? I burn just like a Teleen, but I can control the heat I emit much better than they can. They just torch things. I can make someone feel cold or hot and anything in between. Um, Shade?” He waited for her to answer him, but was met with silence. He sucked in a deep breath as he continued. “Shade, I—I know you’re in love with Dylan. I can see that much. But I’m here, and he’s not. I’m here, and I would never leave you like he did. I promise you that.” His soft voice sent shivers down her spine as she let her head rest against his chest. He smelled like pine and sage. The comfort he gave her made her bite down on her lip to hold the well of tears threatening to explode.

“I can make you happy. I love you so much. It feels like a dagger in my heart to see you suffering because of him. Why won’t you let me in, Shade? We get along great, and I’m sure Dylan can’t crack a joke like me. Who’s gonna make you laugh like I do?” Soap ran his fingers through her brown hair, letting the smooth waves slip through his fingers. He turned his face to her hair, inhaling the sweet honeysuckle scent of her shampoo. He wanted to remain in that moment forever. Breaking contact with Shade would be a torment he could not endure.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Shade whispered. “You saw how I hurt Dylan by kissing you. I just don’t know what to do.” There, I said it. She really didn’t know what to do. She loved both of them. Dylan’s extended absence had taken a toll on her. She’d thrown herself into the teachings of her grandmother, weapons training and anything to keep her mind off of him. She hadn’t let her mind wander to him as much anymore because it seared her so painfully inside, she could burst out crying any moment. But she didn’t want to be sad anymore. She didn’t want to hurt anymore. Her grandmother’s death and Dylan’s absence were the worst things that had ever happened to her.

Pushing the thoughts from her mind, Shade tried to feel more at ease. She felt peaceful resting on Soap’s chest as his embrace warmed her chilled bones. She let the moment continue, afraid to break the spell of its comfort.

She finally sat up, letting the warmth of his arm slip away. Sighing as she looked into Soap’s ever expectant eyes, she hated not knowing why a twinge of fear knotted in her chest.

“Okay, I’m not promising anything, but we can see where this goes, all right?” Shade held her breath as she waited for his answer, her eyes scanning his face while looking for clues about his feelings. She felt the flutters in her stomach once again as she saw his jeweled emerald eyes light up again as his grin grew across his face.

“Wow, that’s just awesome! You won’t regret this. You have no idea how happy you just made me!”

“Wait.” Shade licked her lips as Soap paused, his face frozen in a half grin. “You have to promise to tell me everything, especially what Dylan meant back at Ursad’s castle.”

“Yes, Shade, of course.”

“And if this doesn’t work out, I don’t want you to hate me. You are special to me, and I don’t want to proceed if I risk losing you. Will you still come around, even then?” She pressed her lips together so hard they were turning a pale white. She almost didn’t want to hear the answer to her question. She just knew that if she lost Soap, too, she would lose her mind.

“Yes, Shade, I would still want to come around. I could never hate you.” He reached over and held her chin in his hand. The sweet wave of warmth spread across her face from his rough warrior hands. Weapons training had been hard on her hands, too. His were as callused as a faery’s hands could get. Hardly anything affected the softness of their skin. She reached up, placing her hands over his and pulling him closer, letting his arms embrace her again.

“Wow, I really am in a bit of a shock, Shade. I’ll make you so happy!” Soap exclaimed while hugging her. He lifted her up and swung her around, letting his contagious laugh ring out across the yard. Benton ran out the front door, looking alarmed, but frowned as he saw them spinning.

“Do you have to be so freakin’ loud? I thought something had happened! Keep it down. I’m talking to Mom!” He scowled at them and stomped back into the house, not wanting to watch their sickening embrace any longer.

Shade’s face flushed red. She wiggled loose from Soap’s hug, but didn’t let his hand go. Shaking her head, she turned toward Soap and laughed aloud again. She liked how she felt. Feeling happy for a moment in time, though not long, felt exhilarating.

 

***

 

Dinner had been more than interesting. Jade had given the fridge a shake of her head before deciding to order pizza. Since Camulus had left before their big talk earlier, only Soap remained to eat dinner with the family. Jade eyed him several times during dinner while also glancing at Shade. It was no mystery why he was staying. She just didn’t know what to say to him.

The silence became a little too much to bear for Shade. She chased a bit of pizza down with her Coke and caught her mother staring at Soap again. “Mom, can you please stop staring at us? What’s the matter? Do we have sauce all over our faces?”

Startled, Jade straightened up and frowned at Shade. “I was just trying to see what the heck is going on around here. First I start remembering things I should’ve known all along, and I desperately want to know why I couldn’t before. Then your brother becomes a pyromaniac, setting things on fire in the garage, so I have to keep fire extinguishers around….”

“Wait, you did?” Shade interrupted as she turned, giggling at Benton.

“Shut up! I was trying my powers out!” he grumbled as he stuffed another bite into his mouth.

“Don’t interrupt me, Shade! Now, I won’t have you treading in and out of Faerie like some Fairy Princess, oblivious to the dangers there and with who knows what powers you’ve inherited to keep under control. Let alone bringing one of them here! When is he leaving?”

“Mom!” Shade dropped her half-eaten slice down on her plate, glaring up at her mother. What the rampage was about, she hadn’t a clue. “Did you forget I’m one of them, too?” She stood up, letting the chair fly back onto the floor. Everyone else sat stunned, including Soap. James fidgeted in his chair but began to pick the pepperoni off his pizza and fling it at Benton.

“Stop, you little brat!” Benton gave him a light whack but pulled away as Jade’s voice boomed out.

“Both of you stop that right now!” She pushed away from the table and also stood, staring back at her daughter. “I know perfectly well what you are, Shade. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It’s just….” She pointed her slender hand toward Soap, his face serious now as he watched her, glancing quickly at Shade. “He is one of them, Shade. Faeries don’t care how you feel! They’re not human like us! He’ll steal your heart and won’t give it back. He’ll trick you until he gets what he wants and then leave you all alone!” The tears flowed down Jade’s face as her sobs exploded from within. She sank back into her chair with her head in her hands. Her body shook as she cried, and her lonely wailing echoed in the room as the rest of them sat stunned, not knowing what to say or do.

Shade ran around the table and embraced her mother. She knew the pain of her mother’s memory rushing back to her had taken its toll. She hadn’t expected to see Jade fall apart in front of all of them. There was nothing to do but hold onto her and let the grief pass. She realized eighteen years of living in a lie can mess with you immensely. Shade’s own tears streamed down her face and wet her mother’s shirt as she rubbed her mother’s shoulder. Shade hated seeing her cry. She didn’t often break down. She’d always been the family’s rock.

As Jade’s sobbing quieted to nothing, Shade looked up to see Benton had shuffled James and Anna out of the room to watch TV. Only Soap remained. He walked over and handed Shade two napkins. Shade nodded as he removed himself to join the others. Now alone, she pulled away from Jade to offer a napkin. Jade took it and wiped her face, sighing deeply and shaking her head.

“I’m sorry, Shade. I didn’t know when everything came rushing back to me it would get to me so badly. I shouldn’t have said those things. I do hope your friend is not too offended.” She blew her nose and sniffled. She looked at Shade with red-rimmed eyes and studied her daughter’s face. She reached out, touched Shade’s cheek and smiled weakly. “It’s not easy loving a faery. No one can ever replace them, Shade. Usually, a human will love a faery forever, but forever is but a blink of an eye in their lifetime. Don’t forget that. Never underestimate them. I lost years of my life because of it. Your real father may have loved me, but he didn’t ask me if it was okay to erase my memory and make me forget who I was—what I am—and who you are. It will never be okay.”

She sniffled again, wiping her nose and sighing as she nodded. “I’m fine now. Please tell everyone I’m going to bed. I’m pretty exhausted from the shielding spell today. Goodnight, Shade.” They stood for a moment, staring at each other when Jade broke the connection and made her way to her room.

Shade’s eyes lingered in the direction her mother had gone. The weight of the world felt like it was pushing down on her and waiting for her reaction. She cleaned the table off and wiped the crumbs away, relishing the calming effect of such a mundane task.