Chapter One

 

 

 

 

The places inside that never fade away—even in the face of adversity and loss—take the brunt of all insults. Once decimated, it left nothing to fall back on. Nothing kept the sadness and despair at bay, especially from Shade’s fragile heart. Even the tide that lapped at her feet, shocking with its icy-cold splashes and foamy water which tumbled about, was apathetic to her turmoil. It offered nothing but the numbness of frostbitten skin and a frigid wake. Blue, pale and lifeless. It did nothing to awaken her from the nightmares in her head. These were made of a stinging pierce of blades, the coppery taste of blood and the endless flashes of torment that should be erased from the vaults of anyone’s memory.

This was her nothing. She didn’t even know if she cared that it had ended this way. She was doomed, cursed or just unfortunate in so many ways. Her self-loathing compromised the fragments which were left of what she had once been.

“Shade, go dry off and put some shoes on.” Soap’s voice echoed in her head like a lost memory she should’ve recalled and relished. Even now, his kisses—which had once burned so hot, quick and intense—now felt like cold shadows of themselves. His magic burned bright, but in the self-imposed prison in her mind, it now felt like a dulled beacon in the distance.

“Shade?” he whispered as he stepped tentatively closer, failing to break her trance with the horizon as the sun’s last rays disappeared over the cold Pacific Ocean.

His voice was a sharp yank which pulled her mind out of the trance and back into the now. Soap stood touching her face, hoping to pull her from the spell she’d faded into. The dry cold sand of the beach caked her feet in soft grains.

“Why can’t you hear me? Let’s get inside; snowstorm is coming, and you’ll freeze your toes off if you keep venturing out here without shoes. Is that what you’re doing? Trying to catch your death?” His mention of the cold brought back the endless shiver she could not shake.

So now I’m still a child. Is that what I’ve become?

“No.” Her voice came out small and withered. She avoided his strained look as he waited for her to say something more. His warm fingers curled around her thin arms, pressing softly into her skin, firm but gently balancing her as he guided her into his arms. He pushed a strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear and then pulled her closer. He smelled the sweet scent of flowers faintly clinging to her wind-blown strands as he nuzzled her hair. He kissed the top of her head, wishing to himself that he could will away the demons that lurked behind her frightened eyes. He would be there for her no matter what, even through the dark days ahead. Nothing would shake his love for Shade. Nothing. If only she would let him in.

He’d asked her time and time again what had happened at the Unseelie castle, but she had no answers. She would frown, creasing her brow as she buried her face into her knees, tightly hugging them to her chest. Dylan didn’t have any luck getting through to her either, though she seemed to lighten up ever so slightly when she saw the Teleen warrior approach. A twinge of sadness would then sweep through Soap’s chest at their exchange, but he wouldn’t let it affect him for too long. He pushed the pain away and continued to comfort Shade in any way that he could.

Shade would let him do so. It comforted him more than it ever could her. It was easier than fighting it. He was her boyfriend after all. In the end, she did love him back, but she had nothing to give him now. It had all been ripped out with every drop of blood shed from her fragile skin by Darren, Dylan’s malicious brother. He’d almost finished off what he had started the first time he’d attacked her in the Teleen caverns. If she ever saw him again, she’d make sure it would be his last moment on earth. Never again would he do what he had done to her. Never.

She glanced at Dylan, her other constant companion on this desolate beach. It was well hidden, near where Ursad’s old cabin had been located. It was protected by the strongest of wards that had been set by her mother, Jade, and Benton—one of her brothers—when they had come by for a visit. They were also fire elementals, like Shade, but her powers were gone and had not returned since her imprisonment at the Unseelie palace. Benton’s power had grown exponentially under their mother’s guidance and rigorous training. They’d been relieved to see Shade alive, filled with dread that they might not have ever seen her alive again after she’d been taken.

But she was here now, a shell of her former self, unable to pick up the pieces left shattered of her soul. Powerless. She was bound with the tightest restraints on her magic that no one, not even her mother, not Ilarial or Braelynn, could ever penetrate or undo. She was left naked, stripped and more human than she’d ever felt, even before she’d discovered she was a half-faerie changeling and half-fire elemental witch. Her healing ability was all but gone. The magic that helped her wield fire and water was gone. She couldn’t even make a light stone anymore.

Shade had been surprised to find that the ampule of memory, a swirling glittery red fluid that her Grandmother Lana had given her, had remained at her house, safe in her room. Jade had brought it to her when they’d visited. She touched the charm where it sat dangling gently around her throat. It felt warm and seeped out comfort that let Shade know her grandmother’s essence still swirled inside it. It would be futile to drink the powerful fluid from the ampule now; it would make no difference to her powers. It would be a placebo if she drank it before undoing the binds wrapped tightly around her powers. Nothing could get past them.

Powerless.

Powerless in the Land of Faerie.

This was the worst punishment Aveta and her minions had placed upon her, the worst of all the tortures she’d endured. It could be eternal, and nothing made it better, nothing made her feel remotely hopeful about it. Shade doubted that anything ever would again.