The next morning I was determined to visit Mother. I couldn’t avoid her any longer. But I couldn’t seem to make myself enter her room.
“Thea, my darling. Don’t linger in the hallway.” The queen’s voice sounded a little stronger than it had the day before, but not by much.
“Hello, Mother.” I stared at the floor as I stepped into the doorway of her bed chamber.
“Come in, Thea. Let me see you.”
I chanced a look at her. The queen’s smile lit her pale face as her eyes rested on me.
“She’s a little loopy,” Astrid whispered. “The healers gave her something to ease the pain.”
“She’s so thin.” My eyes brimmed with tears. I couldn’t bear to see my once proud, strong mother reduced to such a state. Her slivery-white hair had fallen out in places, leaving patches of bald scalp. Horrified, I realized those chunks of hair were probably snatched out from the roots.
“She’s eager to talk to you, darling. She doesn’t blame you.” Astrid squeezed my hand and left us.
“I should go and leave you two to get reacquainted.” Ben leaned over the queen and placed a kiss on her forehead. I froze for a moment, afraid my mother would tear him to shreds for such liberties. But my mother giggled—actually giggled—and curled her thin fingers around his hand. “Please stay, Esben.”
“Esben?” I frowned at my friend.
Ben shrugged. “She’s been calling me that. I think she has me confused with someone else. But it seems to make her happy so they let me stay with her.”
“Come now, I’m not broken or addled. Just a little bruised. Alithea, sit with me and let me look at you.” She patted the mattress to her side.
I trembled as I sat beside my mother, taking her skeletal hand in mine. Emotions tumbled inside of me. Regret, shame, and an avalanche of fear threatened to smother me.
“Don’t do that, Thea.” My mother tried to use her stern, queenly voice, but it came out in a raspy cough. “Do not blame yourself for how things went with your cousin and my sister. No one—not even Sylvi or Morgana—could have seen that coming.”
Hot tears spilled down my face as I lunged for the comfort of my mother’s arms. “I’m so sorry, Mother. I was a coward.” I buried my face against her shoulder, acutely aware of how easily I could break her brittle bones.
“Hush, my girl, you were no coward. You were brave. I was the one who refused to listen to your hesitations about the traditional betrothal. I forced you into it because I knew no other way. I was too afraid to be the queen who defied tradition so I ignored my daughter’s deepest fears and I pushed you away.” She leaned back to stare into my face. “Do you hear me, Thea? I pushed you so far into a corner you couldn’t see another way out. This is my fault.”
“It isn’t. I should have returned ages ago.”
“You know what I think?” Ben asked. “I know I’m just the third wheel here and I only know what I’ve managed to piece together, but I don’t think this is anyone’s fault. Something like this probably would have happened whether you left or not, Thea. This Neela chick sounds pretty scary so I’d say we should probably focus on getting rid of her and let this blame game die right here.”
“We?” I managed a half-smile.
“Yes, we. You need all the help you can get, girl.”
“Esben’s right.” The queen lifted her hand to cup his face. “Such a handsome face.”
“Mother, you know I brought Ben back from the human realm, right?”
“Of course. And I should be mad.” She turned toward him fondly. “It’s much too dangerous for you to be here, but I’m just so happy to see you. How are your parents, dear? They were such wonderful people.”
“I don’t have parents, ma’am.” Ben hung his head. “I grew up in foster care.”
“Ben is an orphan, Mother,” I explained.
“What? No.” The queen shook her head. “That’s impossible. What happened to Elizabeth and Thomas? They doted on you as a child.”
“I… don’t know.” Ben shot me a pleading look. “I’m afraid I have no memory of my parents. I’m just Ben.” He shrugged again, his shoulders hunching forward.
“You grew up alone? Among humans?” Mother’s hand fluttered to her mouth as tears shone in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.” A tear rolled down her face as she leaned close to him, looking into his eyes. “You are not just Ben. Your name is Esben.”
“When I met Ben—er, Esben—he didn’t know what he was.” I squeezed her hand. “But you know him? Are you certain he’s this boy you remember?”
“I would know my son’s face anywhere, Thea.”
My heart shuddered as I met Ben’s confused gaze. “Mother… are you saying Ben is my … brother?” That couldn’t possibly be what she meant. Mother was dazed and tired.
“No darling, look at him. He’s the spitting image of you. I’m saying he is your twin and you must protect him. He will always be in grave danger among our people, but even more so if others discover he is a prince of Valsgard.”
“Prince?” Ben’s face paled and his hands shook. “Twins? What’s happening here, Thea? She’s just confused, right?”
“I don’t think so.” I studied my mother’s eyes. She might have suffered physically, but she was still the mother I respected. And she was dead serious about Ben.
“I had to give you up, my sweet boy. It was that or watch my husband carry out your execution. I couldn’t bear to place that burden on him any more than I could bear seeing you harmed. I took you to the human realm myself. Just hours after giving birth. I left Thea with your Aunt Astrid—she’s the only one who knew I gave birth to a foreworn Valkyrie boy. Yet even she believes I did my duty that night.”
“You…execute your sons?” Ben’s eyes filled with horror as he looked to me for confirmation. “I think Thea neglected to mention that little detail.”
“Only those boys capable of shifting,” I explained. “Like our girls, they are born in their Valkyrie form and shift to human within the first few days. Our law dictates they must be executed before they shift. It’s supposed to be easier for the parents. I just … couldn’t bring myself to tell you such a horrible thing.”
“Why must we die at birth?” His voice trembled and my heart broke for him, wishing I could protect him from all of this. He didn’t deserve to find out his life was rooted in such tragedy.
“Our history is stained with wars and atrocities committed by Valkyrie kings,” the queen began. “Before the final battle, when the gods first made the Valkyries, we only gave birth to daughters—their fathers came from the other races. After the gods left their power to us, we began giving birth to sons too. During our darkest time, our realm was ruled by a council of Valkyrie men, drunk on the power of the gods coursing through their veins. They sought to make themselves gods over all the remaining realms.” Her voice faded as she broke into a coughing fit.
I helped my mother sip her tea and picked up the thread of history I knew by heart. “Legend says the power of the gods manifests in foresworn Valkyries in a strange way. It’s like they can’t fully contain it and the more they use it, the more destructive they become. A thousand years ago, the women rose up against the men to put an end to their destructive rule. When the queens took their rightful place on the throne once more, the council enacted a law that dictated every male child born with the ability to shift must be executed on the day of his birth. Since that day, we have ruled as a matriarchal society. Over the last few centuries, the birthrate of foresworn Valkyrie males plummeted.”
“So much that by the time you were born,” the queen said, “I’d never even met a woman who had to order her son’s death.”
“We thought we’d bred them out,” I continued. “The only males born now are grounded males without the ability to shift. Most have their own magic, but it is weaker than a female’s magic. Most men serve as soldiers to the shield maidens. A Valkyrie soldier will do anything to protect the maiden he’s dedicated his life to.
“So there are none like me, then?” Ben’s face was desolate. “And if anyone finds out about me, I’m a dead man?”
“That’s why you need to go back home,” I said.
“No. We will protect him,” the queen insisted. “I will not turn my back on my son again. I thought I left him to a loving family who would explain everything to him one day when he was old enough to understand. Instead, I discover I left him alone in a strange world to grow up without even knowing who and what he is. I will not send him back to that life.”
“What do you say to that, brother?” I whispered, reaching for his free hand.
“Gaining a mother, a few aunts, and two sisters in one day—not to mention an evil cousin—and a nation of people who would want me dead if they found out about me…it’s a lot to absorb. I understand the danger, but since arriving in this realm I feel more like me than ever before. I don’t want to leave. This has been like finding out Santa and the Easter Bunny really exist.”
“It makes total sense we’re twins.” I shook my head. “We’re pretty much the same person.”
“I’m just prettier than you,” Ben quipped, making the queen laugh through her tears.
“What is a Santa?” Mother whispered, her eyes bright with happy tears.
“It’s a human winter solstice thing.” I waved my hand. “I swear Ben’s more human than Valkyrie.”
“That might save his life in the end. We have a lot on our plates right now, darlings, but it does your mother good to see you both together, finally. I’m just so, so sorry I was never there for you, Esben. I vow I will be from now on.”
“You need to rest.” Ben leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I want you nice and healthy again real soon. We need to get this woman a few cheeseburgers and a milkshake, Thea.”
“We don’t have those here.”
“You just broke my heart. We’re going to have to open a McDonald’s franchise if you expect me to stay here.”
I gave him a playful shove.
“One more question before we leave you to rest.” Ben stood, tucking the blankets around our mother. “Who’s the oldest?”
“Thea was born seven minutes before you.” The queen gave him an indulgent smile.
“Yes! I’ve always wanted to be the bratty little brother.”
“Well, you have certainly taken on that role with gusto. Get some sleep, Mother. We’ll be back to check on you later.” I gave her one last hug. I had a million questions for her, but she needed her rest.
“What have I always told you, Thea?” the queen said, almost as if reading my mind.
“Trust my instincts.”
“We will talk of what comes next and we will figure it out. But … you know it’s time you take up the mantle, sweetheart? There is no coming back for me. I will recover, but I will never rule again.”
“I know,” I whispered past the tightness in my throat. “There will be time to talk about that later. Rest now.”
I shut the doors to the queen’s chambers behind me.
“Twins, huh?” Ben shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Talk about earth-shattering revelations.” I smiled. “Turns out I shared a womb with my best friend.”
“Heck yeah, and my sister-bestie is going to be an amazing queen.” He draped an arm across my shoulders. “Can I be a line item on your budget labeled ‘mooch.’”
I shoved him playfully. “You’ve been that since the day I met you.”
“Seriously, Thea, you’ve got this. You’ll be a great ruler. We just need to work on your people skills so you can be more charming—like me.”
I rolled my eyes at his narcissism, but in reality, he was right. “First, I have to figure out what to do with Neela.” We walked side by side down the wide, empty hall.
“We’ll deal with her.” He paused, turning to face me. “I just need you to know one thing.”
It wasn’t like Ben to be so serious. “What?” I frowned up at him. He may be my twin, and I might be seven minutes older, but he was taller than me by several inches.
“I don’t want your throne. Not even a little bit. It’s way too much work and you know how I feel about work.”
“We’ve been over this, Ben. You can’t be allergic to work. But it’s good to know where you stand.”
“I’m serious. Given the history of my kind, I just need you to know I will never be like that. I’ve just been given the family I’ve always wanted. No way am I going to screw that up. So I’m a thousand percent in your corner—and nowhere near the line of succession. I don’t want it. But I am here for you anytime, anyplace, and for any reason. I’ve got your back.”
“Thanks, Ben. Now we just need to convince the rest of the people I abandoned that I’m not a hopeless cause. I think it’s time we call a council meeting to discuss next steps. Care to join me in a battle of diplomacy?”
“Nope.” Ben took a step away. “I am more than happy to leave the politics to the women. You know how I like smart, bossy women.” He turned at the great staircase, heading down the first few steps.
“Where are you going?”
“To find the kitchens. If you expect me to stay here, someone’s got to teach these people how to make cheeseburgers. After that, there’s a hot dragon girl I need to talk to.”
“Esben, that dragon girl can’t talk.”
“I know.” He grinned. “But there are other ways of communicating.”
“She’s going to turn you into a charcoal briquet.”
“She totally has a thing for me. Besides, we legendary mythical creatures have to stick together. Catch you later, sis.” He winked and sauntered down the stairs.
”Be careful, Ben.” I shook my head in wonder.
My brother would carve out a life here, making everyone fall in love with him. I had to protect him, to keep the realms from ever finding out who he was. That thought alone gave me the strength and motivation to fight for the throne I’d never wanted. As queen, I could shield him from harm. It was time to put on my big girl pants and take care of this mess. The sooner I sent Neela back to the Warder realm where she belonged, the sooner I could ensure my family’s safety.
I turned the corner toward the healing ward. I wanted to check with them to see how Mother was really doing. Except, like always, my seer sister was ten steps ahead of me and everyone else.
“Sylvi,” I called to her down the hall where she’d just stepped from the healer’s quarters.
“Thea!” She gasped. You are two now.” She charged toward me, the basket over her arm swinging as she ran. “And your aura is amber. What’s happened?”
“Amber is for positive energy, isn’t it? That’s so unlike me.”
“Don’t crack jokes, this is important. What’s changed since I saw you last?”
“You’re not going to believe this, but I just came from visiting with Mother and—”
“She told you about Esben?” Sylvi was always quick to finish my sentences and I’d forgotten how annoying that trait was.
“You know he’s …?” I arched a brow at her, not sure we were talking about the same thing.”
“He’s your two.” Her head bobbed as she nodded. “Mother told me about him last night.”
“That’s what you’ve been babbling about your whole life? Did you always know about Esben?”
“No, but the second I got a good look at his aura, I knew he was your two. But I couldn’t see the specifics.” She lifted an elegant shoulder and dropped it, like the specifics of our sibling relationship didn’t matter.
I pulled her into an empty room that served as a hospital room for injured residents of the Citadel. I leaned in to whisper the news. “He’s my twin.”
Sylvi clapped her hands together. “Isn’t it exciting.” She beamed at me. “I can see it now. His aura is very similar to yours in many ways. But he’s much more charming than you.”
“So he tells me,” I said dryly.
“Oh! Thea.” Sylvi reached for my arm. “I just realized that young man is my brother too! I have a brother?” Her eyes widened as though the significance had just now hit her through the fog of her seer senses.
“We have to keep his identity a secret, Sylvi. You can’t let it slip, no matter what.”
“Why?” Sylvi frowned. “Oh, are you saying…” she paused a moment. “I see. Poor Mother, that’s why she sent him away. Well, we will just have to protect him at any cost. No one’s executing a brother of mine while I am heir to the Citadel.”
As Astrid’s heir, protecting the Valkyrie citizens fell to her. And once I ascended, Sylvi would become commander of my army and my right hand in ruling our people.
“I should have always known you were meant to be the protector.”
“How could you when even I didn’t know it at the time?”
“Ouch.”
“What’s wrong, sister? Did you stub your toe?” She glanced down at my feet.
“No.” There was no sense in trying to explain to Sylvi that she’d just insulted my intelligence.
“Oh no, don’t mind me, that’s tomorrow.” Sylvi waved her hand. “Watch out for furniture legs so you don’t injure yourself.”
“Got it.” I nodded, following my sister from the room and back toward the staircase. “Um, Sylvi. I need to speak with you and Astrid and any other members of the council here. So … how do I make that happen?
“Leave that to me. Go freshen up and for heaven’s sake, change out of those old training clothes. Remember who you are now. You need to dress as your station demands.”
“You sound just like Mother.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. Meet us in the Indigo Drawing Room in an hour.”
“Thanks, Sylvi. I couldn’t do this without you.”
“I know.” She smiled and swept down the staircase, her mind already on something else.
“That girl never sits still.”
I turned at the familiar voice. Vendela leaned up against the banister, her eyes sweeping over me from head to toe. “She makes me tired just watching her.”
“She was always the best one for this job, but I guess I’m the only one who will ever see it.”
“She’s perfect for the job she’s got.” Vendela shoved off the banister. “She’s a born leader, but she’s not a ruler.”
“Aren’t they the same thing?”
“No. Sylvi inspires people. They adore her. She’s led the Citadel through more than two years of siege and her people would do anything for her. She has a mind for battle tactics and a talent to aid her in that regard. But she’s not a ruler. She’s an organizer. That’s why the power chose you and not her. You don’t need to walk into this meeting looking the part of the perfect courtly princess, eager to please. Leave that role to Sylvi. Your people need a queen, and a queen is a warrior with a backbone of steel and a mind of her own.”
“Maybe in your kingdom, but in mine, I have to be both.”
“You know precious little about the Berserker kingdom if you think they’d ever follow a queen of any sort.” A sneer distorted Vendela’s face. “Our men believe their women’s strength lies in giving birth to strong Berserker sons and beautiful daughters. In Úlfaheim a queen is nothing but an incubator for the next generation. You are lucky to live in a strong matriarchal society where women are revered enough to rule on their own.”
“That much I learned from living in the human world,” I muttered.
“Let’s go to your room. I’ll help you prepare for this council meeting.”
“What do you know of politics?” I followed her down the empty corridor to my rooms.
“Plenty.” She held the door open for me and followed me inside, seating herself on the bed and lounging on her elbows. “My father is the King of Madmen and I’m his only legitimate heir.”
“Your father is King Hagen?” I gaped in surprise.
The Berserker king was once a great ruler, but like so many of their kind, over time, his Berserker nature overpowered his human nature, leaving behind a feral beast of a man in a seat of power. Hagen had no interest in ruling but refused to give up his crown. His brother ruled as a sort of regent, but Hagen tied his hands on so many matters of State, the man had little power beyond attending the high council meetings and reporting back to his insane brother. I hadn’t realized he even had a daughter.
“My uncle sent me away when I was twelve.” Vendela shrugged. “My father was convinced I was trying to kill him by poisoning his food so I could take his throne. Not that my father’s Jarls would allow a woman to inherit the throne.”
“But if you’re his only legitimate heir, you should inherit the throne.”
“Spoken like a true Valkyrie. My uncle sent me away to save me from the Jarls who would only want to marry me off to some old nobleman.”
“So you can rule, but they want you to be married first? That’s not much different from our ways. A queen must have a husband to ensure a legitimate line.”
“No. My husband would be king. My sons would continue my father’s line. That’s the only way I even matter to them.”
“That’s barbaric.”
Vendela shrugged. “The Berserker clans have always been barbaric, misogynist brutes.”
“So you’re a princess?”
“Only sons can be named prince. Daughters of a king aren’t titled. I am simply Lady Vendela. I don’t even get to use my father’s last name.”
“It’s the opposite here. Sons are second-class citizens. Good enough for the life of a soldier or even a general, but they rarely inherit their mother’s fortunes or titles.”
“Our people are opposite sides of the same coin,” Vendela said.
“You’d think by now we’d have found some kind of middle ground where all our people could be equals. We’re all the same. Nothing else matters.”
“Maybe one of these days things will change for the better when the young rulers ascend and the old ones retire. You’ll be the first to ascend. You can set the tone. And you’re going to set it right now before we leave this room.”
“I am?” My eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“It starts with what you wear to this meeting.”
“My clothes can’t matter that much.”
“Your clothes speak for you before you have a chance to say anything. So what do you want your clothes to say?”
“Preferably, I’d like them to say, ‘I’m not naked.’”
“You’re impossible.” Vendela slid off the bed and headed for my closet.
I didn’t even know what was in there but I could guess.
“It looks like Sylvi and Astrid threw up in here.” Vendela stuck her head back out. “You can’t wear any of this frilly white stuff.”
“Hold on a second, there might be something in here.” I shifted my gaze to the trunk at the foot of my bed. I hadn’t used this room in years, but my things should still be here. Whether any of it still fit was a different question. I opened the lid and gasped. A glint of gold caught the sunlight streaming in from the window.
Vendela’s shadow loomed over me as she peered into the chest. “Now those will make a powerful statement.”