RITZY CITY POST

A REVIEW OF FAIRY FIGHTZ

The latest TV sensation to hit our spoons has witches all over Sinkville going crazy for Fairy Fightz ! The cast consists of three key members. Patricia the producer thinks more characters could be added if the show proves successful. Fan favourite Peanut is played by the fabulous Fran. Peanut wears a sparkly jumpsuit and drops glittery dust out of her trousers like a pro. She dominated in episode one, but Patricia the producer has hinted that things might not always be so rosy for the fairy star.

Her arch-rivals are the terrifyingly named Flappy, and her sidekick Tiny Fists. Tiny Fists wears the best headgear in the show, though did no flying and had very few choreographed moves. She seems to rely on Flappy, whose wings are huge and whose moves are impressive.

We sat down with Patricia in her plastic castle office in Brollywood and asked her some questions.

Reporter: Who is your favourite character?

Patricia the producer: Peanut.

Reporter: Why?

Patricia the producer: Because if I said anyone other than Fran’s character, she’d throw a strop and put the whole TV show at risk of being shut down. Her last strop involved her protesting outside the shop that sells pictures of famous Brollywood faces. She spotted they weren’t all of her and chained herself to the door, so no one could get in. She shouted ‘MY FACE OR NOTHING!’ for three whole days. I can still hear it echoing in my head.

Reporter: What will happen to Cooking for Tiny People while Fran is filming Fairy Fightz?

Patricia the producer: We thought about asking Crispy to stand in for her, but Crispy has taken over directing Fairy Fightz and is doing a wonderful job. Plus Fran threw a melon at me when I suggested Crispy could take over. There will be no new Cooking for Tiny People while Fran is filming Fairy Fightz, but … her new cookbook, Cooking for Tiny People: The Complete Microscopic Collection, will be available in all good Sinkville bookshops in the meantime.

Reporter: And one more question. I’ve always wondered … why is your office a big plastic castle?

Patricia the producer: We filmed a TV show a long time ago, when Fran was a young star. We called it Microscopic Princess in a Big Plastic Castle. People liked our twist on princesses – she was a fairy-sized architect. The series ended when Fran demanded we change the castle material from plastic to gold. We just don’t have those kind of budgets.

Reporter: And one more question. What’s your greatest achievement in your role as Patricia the producer, so far?

Patricia the producer: Dealing with Fran after she won the award for Best and Only Fairy Film of the Year. She demanded that we train a cat to transport her to the set in the morning. But all cats hate her and I couldn’t find one willing to do it.