Bear calls and asks when I last spoke to Brigitte, and I say not for a while.

He says, ‘Huh. Because Mum and Dad are worried that she’s been out of range for too long.’

I say, ‘Has anyone checked her Facebook?’

And Bear says, ‘No — hang on, I’ll check.’

He checks and says, ‘She was online two days ago.’

I say, ‘I’m sure she’s fine.’

And Bear says, ‘I hope so.’

I say, ‘How are you?’

And Bear says, ‘I’m worried … but I’m okay. I’ve had some days off so I’ve been skateboarding.’

I say, ‘I’m gonna put that in my book.’

Bear says, ‘What?’

I say, ‘Skateboarding. I’m gonna put that you’re a skateboarder in my book.’

Bear says, ‘I sort of … don’t want to be in your book.’

And I say, ‘Why?’

Bear says, ‘Because it’s … personal. Like, you’re using my life for a story. I dunno … I don’t want to be a story.’

And I say, ‘Oh.’

Bear says, ‘And can you call me sometime? I feel like I’m always calling you. I dunno … It’s getting old.’

And I say, ‘Yeah, sorry. I’ll call you tomorrow.’

And we hang up.

I stare at my ceiling.

I remember this other game me and Bear used to play.

We’d be in the car or walking next to Mum at the mall. And when there were a lot of people around, one of us would go ‘AHHHHH’ or ‘OUCHHHHH’ or ‘JESUSSSSSSS’.

Grabbing our arms or stomachs.

Pretending that we had been punched.

Pretending that we had been hurt, like, real bad.

But after a while Mum caught on that we were just messing around.

So we had to up the ante.

One time, near the top of the escalators outside an Abercrombie & Fitch store, Bear grinned at me and then went, ‘AHHHHH, AH, AH, AH, AH.’

Collapsing onto the floor.

Screaming, ‘AH, YOU FUCK.’

Screaming, ‘MY ARMMMMMM.’

Screaming, screaming.

And Mum told Bear to get up but he just kept going.

And the people in the mall were sort of looking, and the ‘models’ working at Abercrombie & Fitch were sort of looking, and everyone was sort of looking, but no one was doing anything.

Except Bear.

Then a security guard came over and asked if everything was all right and Bear said, ‘MY MUM TOLD ME NEVER TO TALK TO STRANGERS AND YOU’RE A STRANGER, SO GO AWAY, STRANGER.’

The security guard walked away.

Bear tapped me on the shoulder and said, ‘You’re it.’

Like, trying to run away.

Trying to start the next game.

But Mum grabbed Bear and told him to behave himself.

When we got to the car we all started laughing.

And we just sat there in the car park next to the mall not doing anything except laughing.

Eventually travelling down the highway in a blue minivan listening to Shania Twain.

It’s 11.06 p.m.

I miss my brother.

One problem I’ve had in the past is that I think about myself so much that I hurt the people closest to me without even realising it.