I Remember Seeing a Bumper Sticker That Said ‘THIS THE LORD’S TRUCK’, Except When I Looked It Wasn’t the Lord, Just Someone Drinking Beer

We started going to church because everyone went to church. I also went to youth group. At youth group there were maybe fifty of us. Our youth group leader stood in front of us and said, ‘I’ve got terrible news.’ I watched some of the ‘popular’ guys hug some of the ‘hot’ girls. I thought: I wish I had an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt. Our youth group leader walked us out to the basketball court. I watched one of the ‘popular’ guys’ hands disappear beneath a ‘hot’ girl’s skirt. We sat. Our youth group leader told us that our friend Brendan had been watching porn. That each night he would say goodnight to his parents and then power up his computer. He would take lots of burned DVDs from beneath his bed and watch porn till six a.m., when he had to get up for school. He asked us to bow our heads. Everyone seemed really nervous. He asked Jesus to forgive Brendan. He asked the Lord to be gracious. One girl cried. When the prayer finished, I asked someone if they knew who Brendan was and they said, ‘No.’ On the way back one of the ‘popular’ guys kept pulling up one of the ‘hot’ girls’ dresses. When we returned to the church, all the glazed doughnuts were gone. Everyone was smiling. I looked at the car park and it was filled with Mercedes, BMWs, and big trucks. I sat on the curb and watched cars pull out onto the motorway.