In the previous chapter we left the offender in the kingdom of darkness and the church mourning over his dismissal. This is a happier chapter that speaks of repentance, reconciliation, and restoration. We will talk here, not of mourning, but of rejoicing. Our concern is about what happens when the prodigal son returns home.
The process of restoration is set forth in 2 Corinthians 2. Among other things, three factors stand out:
These three factors come to the fore especially in verses 6-8:
The punishment that the majority inflicted on this person is sufficient;
so, instead of going on with that, you should rather forgive and comfort him, so that he won’t be overwhelmed by too much pain.
Therefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.
These are wonderful verses. The love, the concern, the tenderness exhibited in them is remarkable. Paul can be stern, but he can also be tender. In 1 Corinthians 5, his sternness is revealed; it was a time for sternness, and he did not hold back. But now, according to 2 Corinthians 2, is the time for tenderness; and he does not hold back here either.
Some had been inclined to allow the offender too much freedom, not thinking it necessary to remove him from the church. At them Paul thunders, “You are arrogant! Clean him and his leaven out!” Now, to any who would put the repentant brother on the spit and slowly turn him over the fire before accepting him back into the church, he says, “He’s had enough; don’t go on with the punishment. Be careful that he isn’t overwhelmed by it.”
This balance is rare in the church. Too often churches are weighted toward one or the other of these two extremes. To strike the proper balance is difficult.
Since I have written extensively on the subject of forgiveness in my book More Than Redemption, I shall not speak about the matter in detail in this place. Moreover, I have already had something to say about forgiveness here in chapter 5. Let me remind you, therefore, that forgiveness is a promise in which one person goes on record as declaring he will never again bring up another’s offense and hold it against him. The past as a debt is discharged; he is no longer held liable. His offense may be remembered only to help him to learn to act differently in the future. The offense will not be mentioned to him, or to others, and will not be the subject of brooding on the part of those who granted forgiveness.
That the matter is completely closed and should not again be raised once forgiveness is granted is an important point to emphasize to a congregation receiving back an offender who, as in the case at Corinth, may have been wallowing in heinous and disgusting sin. It will take every bit of encouragement and instruction to enable some members of the congregation to follow the proper course as presumably it did in Corinth. Doubtless, Paul was concerned about such matters when he wrote 2 Corinthians 2:6-8.
Forgiving is not the same as forgetting. Nor does the Bible command us to “forgive and forget.” What it tells us is that our model of forgiveness is God’s forgiveness of us (Ephesians 4:32). How does God forgive? He promises us, “Your sins and iniquities will I remember against you no more” (Jeremiah 31:34c).
“To remember no more” is not the same as forgetting. It is to work actively at not raising a matter; to forget is to have a matter passively fade from memory. The first is forgiveness; the latter is the result of forgiveness. One can promise not to raise a matter again and he can keep that promise, whether he feels like it or not. He cannot promise to forget. Forgiving leads to forgetting, because if a matter is never raised to anyone else and if it is not brooded upon by the one who granted forgiveness, it will soon fade from memory. I have seen even sins with the most serious social consequences, the grossest sorts of offenses, forgotten in shorter time than one would think possible when the promise of forgiveness is kept.
Forgiveness is granted upon repentance. Why would some have hesitated to forgive? Why does Paul say to stop carrying out the punishment and forgive immediately? Probably for two reasons. First, there are always some who want to exact a pound of flesh. They cannot think that a person has suffered enough. To all such, Paul says, “It is enough. Stop it and forgive!” Second, there are always some who want to be sure the repentance is genuine. They will forgive only when they see fruit worthy of repentance. To all such, Jesus says, “And if he returns to you seven times saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him” (Luke 17:4).
Note that Jesus says to forgive the person on the basis of his naked word: “. . . saying, ‘I repent.’” You must not wait for fruit in order to grant forgiveness. The fruit will come in time—but it takes time. If after proper help and instruction there is no change and sin persists, then, when fruit should appear, you may begin to question the repentance. Indeed, this may once again lead to church discipline. But at the moment, when one comes saying that he is repentant, you must forgive him. If we are to err at this point, it must be on the side of leniency.
The church, then, must make a formal declaration of forgiveness to the repentant sinner and place on the records the fact that it has done so and that the matter is closed. All the members should receive word of the restoration in the same way that the removal was announced, and they should be instructed about how to act toward the forgiven brother or sister.1 Any within the body who fail to forgive should be warned of the fact that to persist in such failure would place them in jeopardy of church discipline.
Paul writes, “Forgive and assist him” (2 Corinthians 2:7). The word for “assist” is parakaleo, variously translated in the New Testament as “comfort, help, assist, urge, persuade, counsel.” The word, as you can see, is a very general one meaning, literally, “to call alongside for assistance.” In this passage it has that very general meaning. It refers to giving the returning brother or sister whatever help—and all the help—needed to be reestablished properly in the congregation.
This assistance, or help, is too frequently missing in churches. As a result, reinstated members make their way only with great difficulty and may fall again into sin. Converted Sauls must be welcomed with open arms and hearts, because they will need much help.
What kind of help? Counseling about the problems and the sins that led to their ouster in the first place. Help in becoming reassimilated into the body. Help in making new social contacts and reinstating old ones. Help in reconciling themselves with others to whom they spoke hard words or toward whom they did despicable things. They will need guidance in finding their place in the body so that they can once again begin to use their gifts (none of this business of making them wait six months to rejoin the choir!). They may need medical assistance; Satan can be rough, and if they have been in his hands for any length of time, they will probably bear the marks that show it. They may need financial help.
I shall not try to catalog all of the possible ways in which a returning brother should be assisted; I need only to say that the church must look for those ways and offer help that is adequate.
“Reaffirming love” is an interesting phrase. The word “reaffirm” is kurao, a legal term that means to reinstate one to a position. It is a term that speaks of formal restoration to full membership.
The “punishment” mentioned in 2 Corinthians 2:6 is the sort of punishment that we speak of as “penalizing” a person. It means “to penalize by taking away rights and privileges.” But now the church which formally stripped him of his membership by removing him from the midst must formally reinstate him, in love, as a full member. No rights and privileges of membership are to be withheld. He is not to be considered in some probationary state; he is no longer to be considered under negative discipline of any sort.2 Of course, he is under the same requirements of the positive, preventive discipline as all the other members.
Formal reinstatement must be made as publicly as dismissal was, and in the same manner if possible. The Prodigal Son was given a robe, a ring, and a party in his honor, showing us that joy should accompany the return of the son who was lost but now is found (that is the message of the three-part parable in Luke 15). The church must be warned about the grumbling of the scribes, whose failure to rejoice was the occasion for the parable in the first place. Like the elder son, they complained and refused to rejoice over the prodigal’s return. Restoration of an offender to the flock is a time for rejoicing and ought to be made such. Just as the church may have engaged in a time of mourning and set aside a time for prayer as they were forced to dismiss the brother, so too should they take time to meet together and rejoice over the return of the offender—perhaps at a dinner to celebrate the occasion and welcome him home in joy.
There is little more to say about this aspect of discipline except to remember that to preserve the gains that have been made, each of the three things listed above is essential. They will take time and commitment on the part of a number of members of the church. But, as Paul says, we must do these things “so that Satan won’t be able to gain an advantage over us . . .” (2 Corinthians 2:11a).
It is such efforts by the church on behalf of the returned sinner that will defeat Satan in his attempt to recapture the brother or sister who has been wrested from his grasp by the prayers of the church and the grace of Christ.
1 Note that whenever the congregation as such is called upon to act in relationship to an offender (in stages 4 or 5 or in restoration), it needs to be given instruction about what to do.
2 To reaffirm love toward the offender is to welcome him into the full status of brotherhood in which we show him once again the brotherly love he lost when he was removed from the family.