HER RUN OF RADIATION treatments ended just before Thanksgiving. This holiday was easier on her, because we never hosted it. My mom took care of Thanksgiving every year and enjoyed making it a relaxing day for everyone. My mom’s motto was “Just show up and relax.” Nobody made a big deal out of our situation because we still thought we were winning this battle. The fact that she just wrapped up radiation was only more cause for celebration.
Everyone was celebrating, except for me. Even though I was still thinking about losing and was trying to soak in every last inch of every last moment, Gina had a different outlook. She saw it as a regular Thanksgiving. She didn’t see it the way I did, thinking that this may be our last. In her eyes it was like every other year, and next year, we would be here again. She was still counting very much on her faith.
One of the things I decided in that moment of revelation back in October was to start cutting back at work. The holiday time is usually pretty busy for me, but this year I made it a point to be home more often. After Thanksgiving came and went we spent a lot more time doing things together not only as a couple, but as parents. I involved myself a lot more than I had in years past. We went Christmas shopping for the kids together, something that hadn’t happened since God knows when. That was always just something I let her handle.
Things were feeling good. I felt good. As a couple, we were growing closer, and that meant the world to me. I started thinking about maybe doing some special things for her, like a trip for the two of us or something. The holiday came and went and we treated it much like we did Thanksgiving. It was just this year’s Christmas and there would be another one next year.
As January rolled around, we were scheduled for Gina’s next complete scan. She was both mentally and physically beaten down by the treatments and truth be told, so was I.
As we had hoped, the scan came back clean once again with no detection of any tumors. I was elated but with reservation. Actually, I think what I felt was more a sense of relief. I was more optimistic than before, but for some reason I still had it in the back of my mind that there was more in there, just hiding. Even though I still wasn’t completely convinced it was over, I didn’t spend my days waiting for more bad news. I didn’t seek out any alternative treatments, because I put my faith and trust in the system. We had gone to the best center, we had seen the best doctors, followed their recommended course, and now here we were, cancer free again.
As I mentioned, I’d been thinking about taking her on a trip as I figured there was no time like the present. We had some friends who lived in Arizona so I thought it would be a nice surprise to take her there. I made all the arrangements. I booked us in the Hyatt Gainey Ranch, a spectacular resort in Phoenix. The room I put us in was way too pricey, but I figured after all she had been through and knowing what kind of curve ball life can throw you at anytime, it was well worth it.
When I sprung the news on her, she was beside herself with joy. I never really thought about it but over the last few years, any surprise she had gotten was bad news. The good news was always something that we were hoping for or anticipating. Never was it a surprise.
The trip was wonderful. We went at the end of February and it truly was five days of bliss. I soaked in every moment of her. She looked better than she had in what seemed like forever. I saw her for the beautiful wife, woman, and mother that she was. We spent time with our friends and we spent time alone. It was just a wonderful trip all around. While we were there I had made arrangements for Gina to have a surprise spa day. I wasn’t completely sure about this decision, given what her body had been through, but it was one of the ‘most right’ things I’d done. She was in such a great place there and it really felt good on her body. I’m telling you, that trip was the most fun I’d seen her have in years. I know she had a blast because not long after we got home, she redecorated our bathroom in complete southwestern style. I noticed she had put a new photo up in a frame in our bedroom. It was one of us on that trip.
Aside from the upside of a bathroom renovation, the trip progressed our healing process. Our communication began to strengthen and I really began to feel like we were a couple again and that survived long past that trip. For the first time in a long time, that closeness continued once we had gotten home.