IN BETWEEN MY MEETING Denise and actually taking her on a true date, my 41st birthday came. To be totally honest, it really kind of snuck up on me. Between the kids getting back in school, Nona leaving, my juggling schedules, and this whole flirtatious air with Denise, I didn’t even pay attention to it until I turned the calendar to that week and saw it there.
Gina used to always make a big deal out of birthdays and mine was no exception. Whether it was a family dinner or a party for the kids, we just woke up and enjoyed the day that she planned out. This being the first one without her, there was nothing on the agenda. What was I going to do, tell everyone my birthday was coming and ask what they would like to do to celebrate me? Amber had a soccer game that day, but aside from that was nothing on the docket. I thought maybe my mom or my sister would plan a little something but they didn’t. Jackson bought me a card which I thought was nice, until I opened it and read the lecture he had written inside it. The girls were so young he just told them to write their names inside it so they did.
It was hands down the worst birthday ever. That old ‘home alone’ feeling came running back up on me and I found myself missing Gina a lot. It’s not that I wanted her there to dote on me, it was just one of those days that you always associate fun things with and they were always with and directly because of her. She really took care of us and I really missed her that day. Sure some calls peppered in throughout the day from my family and some friends, but that was it. To be honest, I don’t even know what I was expecting. Maybe for my mom or Jackson to have the girls put something together. A goofy tie maybe? A homemade card? I thought someone would have thought enough of me to do something to acknowledge the day but there was nothing. Nobody even made plans for dinner. I’ll never forget how alone and taken for granted I felt that day. I wasn’t mad at the girls, hell they were ten and seven, but the best acknowledgement I received all day was a shitty card from Jackson
Yeah, it sucked.
It’s amazing how powerful the words “Happy Birthday” can be to someone both when you hear them, and when you don’t.