Elias felt like he was fifteen instead of thirty when he knocked on Grecia’s door later that night. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Come in.”
Elias’s hand was shaking on the doorknob. Awkward didn’t even begin to describe how he felt. He’d started trembling ten minutes ago when Dawson looked up at him from where he was feeding Amelia and said, “Go to her.”
Elias had stared at his friend, not breathing, not blinking. Shocked.
Dawson had looked at him pointedly with a crooked smile. “Go to her,” he repeated. Selflessly. With all the love he felt for his friend.
Elias was humbled and grateful and scared out of his mind.
Jeremy had been in his room, so at least Elias hadn’t needed to confront him too. He was still tense about the early morning events. Frustrated with himself and every aspect of that encounter. He needed to grovel a bit more at Grecia’s feet.
Finally, he managed to convince his fingers to turn the knob and he stepped inside, closing the door behind him and then leaning against it because he didn’t trust his feet to work and the room was too small for both of them to breathe in.
Grecia had a queen-sized bed, so her room would never be used for all four of them at once, but that didn’t matter since she wasn’t capable of such a thing and might not ever be. Elias understood. They all did.
Grecia was sitting on her bed, back against the headboard, knees drawn up. She had been reading, but she set the book on the nightstand. “Are you just going to stand there?” She smiled.
“Maybe.” Elias drew in a breath.
She sat up straighter, crossing her legs in front of her. She was wearing a T-shirt and leggings. Casual. Relaxed. So sexy.
“I’m sorry about this morning,” Elias repeated though he’d told her so already several times.
She reached out a hand. “Come here.”
He shoved off the door and somehow managed to shuffle toward her. He hated how orchestrated and planned this felt. Maybe she didn’t feel like having sex with him? Maybe she didn’t feel like having sex with anyone.
When he reached her side, he perched on the edge of the mattress and took her hand in his. “Thank you for having the spine to put us in our place and for taking a chance on us. We don’t deserve it.”
“Of course you do. I’m not taking a chance. I know you both well. The entire thing is mostly my fault. I can’t blame you for reading between the lines. I made the choice to join Jeremy last night all on my own. I didn’t think it through. I was lonely and I went to him.”
Elias swallowed. “And you have that right.”
She squeezed his hand and lifted it to her cheek, rubbing his knuckles along her jaw. “I want you here just as badly as I wanted to be with Jeremy. Do not ever think otherwise.”
“Just because I’m here doesn’t have to mean anything. We can just talk and enjoy each other’s company. You’re not obligated to accept any of us into your bed, and certainly not every night like a revolving door.”
She chuckled, a sound that warmed his heart and lightened the mood in the room. “Seems like I’m the lucky one.”
He shook his head. “Never. We’re all lucky to have you and we’ll never take it for granted.”
She smiled. “When I was in Renee’s apartment today, I felt something shift in me.”
Elias scooted closer and spun so he could sit facing her, legs also crossed. He was only wearing cotton shorts and a T-shirt. Grecia had told them all about her day after dinner earlier. They were in a collective awe over her selflessness.
“What was that, sweetheart?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, but I think I was jealous.” She chuckled again. “Silly and unnecessary of course. Renee was so upset and defeated and scared, and three men had her back, just as upset and defeated and scared, for her, for themselves, and for the baby.”
Elias nodded, listening closely to her heart.
“I could feel their love. All three men hovered over Renee as if she were spun gold. They don’t give a fuck who the actual father of Orson is. They’re all his fathers. They adore that baby and Renee. I knew any one of them would trade their own lives for her or for the baby. They’re all equally scared to death for their son.”
Elias smiled. “They’ve been together as a family unit for about a year, but I want you to know that all three of us feel that same way about you. We don’t care who Amelia’s biological father is. As far as I’m concerned, she’s already mine. It would tear a hole in me to lose her or you. I know I speak for Dawson and Jeremy too.”
Grecia’s eyes were watery.
“I know it’s only been a month, but my feelings are deep. I thought my life had ended while I sat in the kitchen all night worrying that I might have lost you. Worrying that perhaps you didn’t feel as intensely as I do. Worrying that you’d decided three was too many men to juggle.”
She shook her head. “I could never choose. I’m so glad I don’t have to.”
“Never. You’ll never be expected to choose between us. And we’ll strive to make sure you know you’re under no obligation to have sex with any of us ever.”
She lifted a brow, smirking.
He chuckled. “Okay, that came out wrong. This won’t work if you only have sex with one or two of us, but no one is keeping a score sheet.” He leaned in closer. “I want you to feel what Renee feels. Warm, loved, cherished, adored. I want you to know we have your back. Always.”
Grecia lifted her free hand to wipe away the tears that had gathered. “I want that.”
“It’s yours.”
She slid closer so their knees touched, holding his gaze. “I want everything. I want to become the sort of person who doesn’t flinch when someone touches me. I want to be able to sleep in your arms without feeling like I’m suffocating. I want to reach a time when all of you can hover around me without me panicking.”
“We’ll do everything in our power to get you there, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself.” He hated what she’d been through. Half the time he felt like storming out of this compound and plowing across the country to find the men who’d tortured her so he could dismember them.
She nodded. “I learned some things about myself last night. I learned that sex can be not only tolerable, but pleasurable and life-altering. I hope you didn’t come in here resigned to keep your clothes on because a monster has been unleashed and I want to feel that way again. I’ve been thinking about it all day.”
Elias’s cock jumped to fully aroused. One thing was for sure, Grecia had shed her quiet, meek, nervous skin and replaced it with a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it.
He knew she was also feeling pretty pleased with herself ever since she’d agreed to feed Renee’s baby. To her, it seemed like such a simple, easy thing to do. To everyone around her, it was seen as a selfless sacrifice, and Grecia felt that gratitude. It had empowered her and made her feel useful.
“How about we start with your clothes?” he suggested, lifting a brow. He’d seen her chest many times when she’d been nursing but he wanted to see all of her. He wanted to hold her and taste her, stroke her skin, make her cry out. He wanted to watch her arch her neck and moan.
Elias wouldn’t be satisfied until Grecia lay beneath him sated and panting, grinning from ear to ear. He didn’t much care how this panned out for him tonight. The long game mattered more.
He’d easily gathered from what he’d witnessed and what he’d heard that Grecia’s sexual experiences were abysmal. Jeremy had shown her that sex was so much more than fucking. Elias intended to solidify that belief, and he knew Dawson would too.
Grecia reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath, and seeing her took his breath away.
She trembled as he stared at her before eventually reaching out to stroke a finger over one of her fucking sexy nipples. She shuddered.
Elias smiled. “I’ve heard some women don’t like their breasts touched while they’re nursing.”
Her cheeks flushed as she licked her lips. Finally, she shrugged. “Seems like I’m different, at least right after I’ve pumped. Maybe not when I’m engorged and desperate, but right now your touch feels good.”
He was grateful she had on a bright lamp next to the bed. He wanted to be able to see her, as well as her reactions.
Grecia reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head. “There. We’re even.”
He chuckled. “Not even close.” He cupped her breasts and thumbed both her nipples, making her arch her chest forward. Her breasts were surprisingly perfect without a single indication she was currently nursing not one but two babies.
“That feels good.” She shocked him again when she uncrossed her legs and crawled into his lap, straddling him so their chests brushed against each other. Yeah, his timid, scared woman was being replaced.
She set her hands on his shoulders and brought her lips to his. When only a hair’s breadth of space existed, she whispered, “Kiss me.”
Elias smoothed his hands up her back, loving the feel of her soft skin as he closed the last millimeter of space to give her what she wanted.
Not exactly a hardship.
They’d kissed before, but this time was different. This time he knew the outcome would be different. She was giving herself to him. Not a taste. Not some chaste peck on the lips. She was offering him her body.
Elias’s dick was rock hard and growing as she rubbed her pussy against him. The thin layers of cotton between them were doing very little to conceal his growing need.
If she felt it, she didn’t back down. She kept squirming forward, taking every speck of space, tormenting him with her heat and the pressure as she kissed him with every bit of passion he felt.
Perhaps it had been wrong of him to eavesdrop on her with Jeremy last night, but he had, and he’d heard a side of her he hadn’t known until that moment.
This though… This was nothing like what he’d listened to last night. Jeremy had opened Pandora’s Box. The woman straddling Elias had needs and wants she intended to have met.
She was the one to eventually break the kiss, and she was panting as she met his gaze. “I need you inside me.”
He gulped. It was hard to respond. He hadn’t expected those words from her. Bold. Confident. Needy.
He grinned. “I need my mouth on you,” he countered.
“You’ve had your mouth on me,” she pointed out, returning his grin with a twinkle in her eyes.
He chuckled as he slid her off his lap and lowered her to the mattress. He watched her face closely as he pulled her pants and panties down her legs and tossed them aside.
Her chest was rising and falling as she stared up at him. She didn’t try to cover herself, but she did look slightly nervous.
When he parted her legs to see every inch of her, she shivered, her hands loosely fisted at her sides.
Elias watched her closely for signs of stress. He shifted his gaze back and forth from her face to her pussy, parting her folds so he could stare at her.
Her breath hitched and she shuddered.
“Has anyone ever had their mouth here, sweetheart?” Considering the shitty sexual experiences she’d had before last year, he doubted anyone had given her the attention she deserved.
She shook her head, her cheeks turning a gorgeous shade of pink.
Elias dragged a finger through her folds and flicked her clit, nearly moaning as she whimpered and bucked so easily. “May I?” he asked, not wanting to presume she would be okay with it.
She licked her lips. “Is that something you, uh, want to do?”
“More than anything.”
“Oh.” She squirmed as he circled her clit. “I, uh, I guess.”
God, she was sexy all spread out, wet and hot and nervous. It was okay for her to be slightly uncertain about something she’d never experienced as long as she didn’t panic when he put his mouth on her.
Elias scooted down the bed, not wanting her to feel trapped. He pressed her thighs wider but did so gently, his palms on the insides of her knees. He’d never eaten a woman without holding her down, so he wasn’t sure how this might go, but he wanted to try. He wanted to taste her. He wanted her arousal all over his lips and tongue.
“If you get stressed, tell me, and I’ll stop,” he said, meeting her gaze.
She gave a quick nod. Her chest was rising and falling. Her amazing tits were bouncing with the movement.
Elias set his hands carefully on her inner thighs, more at the junction than above, hoping the feel of his fingers would help steady her without the pressure that would make her feel trapped.
He inhaled her scent deeply, loving this moment of intimacy, the moment before she would find out what it meant to be worshiped. Finally, he kissed her pussy reverently before stroking his tongue through her folds.
She stiffened, but in a good way that accompanied a slight gasp.
Elias closed his mouth over her and thrust his tongue into her channel.
Grecia moaned, lifting her hips as he knew she would. It would be nearly impossible for her to remain still. He wasn’t sure how this was going to work, and he wondered if he could command it.
After switching his attention to her clit, circling it and then sucking it gently, he lifted his face. “I’m going to make you come with my mouth, sweetheart.”
She swallowed hard, eyes wide.
“Can you hold still for me?”
She shook her head, making him chuckle.
“Can I hold your thighs, Grecia?”
She chewed on her bottom lip and then released it. “I think so,” she whispered.
“Keep your eyes on me. I want you to know whose mouth is on you. Say stop if you panic, okay?”
She nodded.
He rose up onto his elbows to make better eye contact. The idea of holding her down stressed him a bit. The last thing he wanted was to scare her. “Who’s going to eat your pussy, Grecia?”
She grinned. “You are.”
“I adore you, and I want to worship you with my mouth until you don’t remember your name. I would never, ever do anything to hurt you.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“I’m going to circle your clit with my tongue, flick it, suckle it, thrust my tongue into your sweet pussy. Your job is to scream.”
She giggled, wiggling a bit. “Do it,” she demanded.
Elias lowered his face to her soaking core. He settled his hands on her thighs and held her steady. Finally, he did exactly as he’d described. Nothing more, nothing less.
Grecia groaned as he flicked her clit over and over. Her hands came to his head, holding on or pulling his hair. Not pushing. Nor did she say stop. Her butt clenched several times. So did her thighs.
Finally, she was panting erratically before she arched her chest and cried out her release.
Elias continued to suckle her, easing back on the pressure before she could wince from the sensitivity. When he released her, he wiped his lips on the sheet and then rose up over her, bracing himself on his hands. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her, but he was afraid that might overwhelm her.
She was grinning in that satisfied way that told him everything he needed to know. Finally, she licked her lips. “Am I still alive?”
He chuckled. “Very much so.”
“What else have I been missing out on?”
“So many things. We’ll show you all of them.”
Her smile never faded. “I think I like that plan.” She slid out from under him and sat upright, clasping his face as he rose up to face her. She kissed him deeply before meeting his gaze again. “My turn.”
His brows shot up high on his forehead. “You’re not required to reciprocate, sweetheart.”
“I want to. But like on my terms.”
He stared at her. He certainly didn’t care what terms she demanded for a blowjob, but he didn’t want her to feel obligated. “Grecia…”
“Please? Can you lie on your back and let me explore? I’ll even hold your hips down so you can’t buck upward.” She grinned, having added that last part to match the fact that he’d held her down for that reason.
“You jest, but it’s a fact that it would be hard for me to avoid lifting my hips if my cock were lodged in your mouth.” He would though. He would force himself to lie still for her. Bucking up into her would send her into a panic.
She shoved at his chest. “On your back, bucko.”
He chuckled as he dropped onto the mattress, lifting his hips to shove his shorts off his body. His cock bobbed hard and long above his hips.
Grecia sat at his side, trailing a finger up and down the vein on the underside of his length.
He gritted his teeth, nearly losing his load from that small contact.
She flicked the tip of her finger through his slit and brought the precome to her mouth, sucking her finger and making a loud pop as she released it. The little tease.
He loved it. He loved her. Shit. I love her. Would she panic if he told her? He wasn’t about to take that risk.
She set a hand on his torso. “There’s no way I could hold you down, but I know it’s you. I know you would never force me.” She sucked in a breath and met his gaze again. “I won’t be able to take you deep. It will make me panic.”
He stroked a hand up her back. “Don’t do it then, sweetheart. You don’t have to do a thing. Ever. All three of us would gratefully worship your body without ever getting anything in return and consider ourselves lucky. Do you know that?”
She nodded. “I think so. But I want the same satisfaction you crave. I want to know I can make you so hard you think you’re going to explode. And then I want to make you come. It will give me pleasure.”
He slid his hand into her hair and dragged his fingers back through it. “Anything your heart desires is yours, Grecia.”
She smiled before bending over his cock, wrapping her fist around the base, and sucking him in as far as she dared. It happened so fast he lost the ability to speak.
His mouth fell open, but no sound came out. He forgot how to make words.
She did it again, this time sucking harder and pulling him in deeper.
God, he hoped she was being careful. He didn’t want her to send herself into a panic any more than he wanted to do so himself. He focused on his only job—do not lift your hips.
It didn’t take long for him to reach the point of no return. After all, he’d been adjusting his cock for weeks. “Grecia… Pull off, sweetheart. I’m going to come.”
Instead of obeying his order, she doubled her efforts and suckled him even harder, hollowing out her mouth as she drew almost off and then slammed back down.
On the next pass, his balls drew up and he fisted his hand in her hair, not pulling, just instinctively gripping something to hold on to. When her mouth lowered again, he came, shooting into the back of her throat.
Coming in Grecia’s mouth was a religious experience unlike anything he’d ever felt. It didn’t matter how skilled she was. All that mattered was this was Grecia. She’d taken a chance by putting his cock in her mouth. She hadn’t had to do that. She could have climbed over him and thrust herself over his cock, impaling her pussy. Instead, she’d wanted to prove to herself and everyone else that she could give a blowjob.
Elias was panting, unable to tell her how much he appreciated her amazing mouth and lips.
His heart nearly stopped when she released his length with a pop and licked a dribble of come from the corner of her lips. “Mmm,” she murmured. “Thank you.”
He chuckled, still breathing heavily. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
She set her hands on his chest. “I doubt I’ll ever be able to let any of you thrust into my mouth without me controlling it, but that was hot, and I’m glad to know I can do it again.”
Elias slid his hands up and down her arms. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “Every inch of you.”
She trembled and glanced down. “Saggy boobs, stretch marks, baby fat, and loose belly flesh?”
“Every part of you,” he confirmed. “Every bit of you makes up the whole, and that whole package is divine.”
She dropped onto her side next to him and trailed a finger absently around his chest. “Sex is more complicated. I can’t picture being under one of you or on my stomach. I don’t think I can do anything but ride you.”
Elias smiled at her. “Grecia, no one would ever complain if you rode us, but we’ll figure out a way past your fears. I promise.”
She nodded. “Maybe from the side, facing each other, eyes locked?”
He rolled to his side to assume the position she’d suggested. He cupped her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Totally possible, as soon as my cock recovers.”
She giggled, the sound instantly causing recuperation.
“Never mind,” he joked as his erection bobbed against her thighs. “Apparently I’m ready.”
She laughed again and held his gaze while she wrapped her palm around his length and dragged the tip through her folds.
“Did you and Jeremy use protection?” he asked.
“Julie gave me a birth control shot several weeks ago. She also checked to make sure I didn’t have any diseases.”
Elias nodded. “Good. Not that I would mind planting a baby in you. We missed that stage. I’d love to watch you grow round with our child, but not so soon. You need a break. Your body needs a break. And, of course, the decision to have more children is entirely yours. We will support whatever you decide.”
Her breathing was uneven as she continued to masturbate herself with his cock, but she somehow managed to speak. “I’d like to enjoy this side of things for a while before we talk about adding more small people.”
Elias smiled. “Me too, sweetheart.”
She inched closer, lodged his cock at her entrance, and thrust her hips forward, impaling him.
Elias gasped. Damn, she was tight around his cock.
She grabbed his hip as she continued thrusting back and forth against him. It wasn’t as deep as he would have liked, but still so fucking good. It was Grecia. He was inside her. Heaven.