Ash hesitated by the patio doors, Connor coming to a stop behind him and pressing a hand at the base of Ash’s spine in silent reassurance.
“This isn’t going to be easy,” Ash said. He could see Ben and Landon from there. His brothers were drinking beer, Ben in charge of the barbecue, Landon leaning against the table and laughing. The call from Ben this morning asking him and Connor for lunch was for more than just lunch and Ash knew it. The whole thing would be the perfect time for his brothers to make him the butt of jokes and sarcasm. Ben in particular was awesome with the sarcasm.
“They already know why you did it,” Connor said. “You said you’d already sorted it with them both, so what do you have to worry about?”
Ash sighed. “Just, with both of them here, I know what I’m in for. I’m feeling…”
“Guilty? Like an idiot? Embarrassed you didn’t just talk to them both first about using their money as surety on a deal that could have gone disastrously wrong?”
Ash glanced back at his lover and grimaced at Connor’s ready teasing smile. “Not helping.”
Connor waved the bottle of wine. “I have alcohol. Let’s do this thing.”
Ash needn’t have worried because at first Ben was more interested in who Connor was, what Connor meant to Ash, and did Connor like his burgers well done or really well done.
Ash held Connor’s hand tightly, but at some point Connor got called away and abruptly Ash was alone with his brothers and a very hot barbecue along with a whole array of pointy implements, not to mention a metric ton of raw beef.
“I like Connor,” Ben said. He expertly flipped a blackened burger and frowned down at it like staring at it was going to make it less charcoal. With a huff he pushed it to one side of the rack and placed another in its place.
“I sense a but,” Ash said. He was happy talking about Connor, and at least focusing on that kept the whole conversation away from how he could have potentially fucked up.
Ben quirked a smile and shook his head. “No, really, he’s a good guy from all I’ve heard.”
“You heard?”
Ben turned the burger, which was barely browned, and nudged it a little. “Lan has his uses.”
“Ha bloody ha,” Landon inserted. He was on his second beer, the first empty bottle in his left hand, the new one in his right.
“What did you tell him?” Ash asked curiously. Landon obviously approved of Connor, but Ash wasn’t above poking his brother for information.
“Professional guy, good prospects, all his own teeth,” Landon joked.
Ash elbowed Landon in the side. “Fuck off, arsehole.”
Landon laughed. “In all seriousness, he’s a good guy. Besides, he’s Rachel’s friend, and she has the best taste in men.”
Speaking of whom, Rachel came over bearing gifts: cold beer and a box for recycling. “Can I borrow the big gorgeous man here?”
Ash couldn’t help the snort of laughter. “She’s talking about you, Landon.” Landon didn’t get a chance to answer, allowing himself to be tugged away from the barbecue and over to where Connor stood with Tux in his arms, chatting very seriously to an earnest-looking Stephanie.
“How did Stephanie and Chloe get on when you were away?”
“Really good, and we had fun. But that isn’t what I want to talk about.”
Ash’s stomach fell. This was it. The moment he was in trouble with the middle Sterling-Haynes brother. He sighed inwardly. He knew this was coming. Not even glancing over at a now smiling Connor had the dread of what was coming being wiped away.
“I’m sorry, Ben. Genuinely. I couldn’t see another way—”
“You could have asked us,” Ben interrupted him, but not in a harsh way. “You try and do things on your own all the time, but we’re your brothers.” Ben reached out and pulled Ash into a loose one-armed hug, releasing him after a moment. “Connor is good for you, and you’ve chosen a path for what you want to do. It’s all good.”
“So you don’t hate me?”
Ben glanced at him sideways, then jumped as fat spat at his hand. Patting the offending skin, he took time to answer the question.
“You are a freaking idiot,” he said in summary. “It wasn’t the money, it was that you’ve been so unhappy and you took a chance on something new and Lan and I didn’t even know anything about it. We felt…” He shrugged. Ben was the most open of the three of them, the one who could vocalise his issues normally, but the brothers were more used to sniping, teasing, or flat out rolling around on the floor fighting than actually talking about feelings. “You don’t belong in an office,” he finished. “You belong here.”
“Oh.” Ash was kind of lost for words. He wasn’t expecting this twist of emotion, he was expecting to be teased and to end up with the inevitable scrap between him and at least one of his brothers.
“There’s a place for you on the estate, you know.” Ben appeared uncomfortable but Ash couldn’t see his eyes as Ben was concentrating very hard on a sausage that wanted to roll off the edge of the grill.
“Can you see me working for you?” Ash teased.
“No,” Ben said immediately. Then he coloured. “No, I mean, we could split it, this place is your inheritance as well.”
Ash shook his head. “No.” It was his turn to use the N word. Just at that moment every doubt and fear solidified into something that Ash could knock away. Abruptly he knew exactly what he wanted.
“I’m thinking renovations, carpentry, maybe talking to Chloe’s dad about some kind of apprenticeship with him, with a view to, y’know…” Ash shrugged; he was a little embarrassed to be having this heart-to-heart with Ben.
Ben looked at him encouragingly. “What?”
“Starting up on my own or taking over from Richard… I don’t know.” To his own ears he sounded unsure, and he didn’t want to come across as a complete idiot. Before Ben could interrupt he continued. “Actually wait. I do know.” The decision was easy really. “I’m going to move in with Connor and work with Richard, and maybe convert a barn and set up my own workshop when Richard retires.” Just saying the words out loud made sense to him and he knew he had to tell Connor now. But he needed Ben to tell him the truth and Ash’s words held a challenge; he was waiting for the ifs and buts that only a family member could throw at him.
Instead, Ben chuckled. “Good for you.”
“You think it’s a good idea? You’re not pissed?”
Ben frowned. “Why would I be pissed? I’ve known what I wanted to do since I was ten and I did my work experience with Mick on the estate. You’ve just fallen into whatever was expected of you. You’re good with numbers, therefore you work with them. Time you found what you really wanted to do.”
“We’d need to find another accounts manager for Sterling-Haynes,” Ash said. He couldn’t help himself; he was beginning to counter his own argument.
“We’ll do that.”
Hands slipped around Ash’s waist from behind, and Connor rested his chin on Ash’s shoulder. “Okay over here?”
Ash’s chest tightened. He and Ben had probably looked very serious from where Connor stood and this was likely Connor coming to Ash’s rescue.
“We were just discussing your intentions,” Ben said seriously.
Connor stiffened slightly but relaxed when Ash grabbed a slotted spoon and hit Ben on the arm. “Shut up, we were not.”
“But having said that,” Ben said as he backed out of smacking distance. “Ash tells me he is giving up his long-term career as a number cruncher to take up a bohemian lifestyle as a whittler.”
Ash immediately turned in Connor’s hold. Ben couldn’t know that the teasing hit home, but Ash hadn’t actually told Connor what he had decided. This wasn’t exactly the way he wanted Connor to hear it.
“I only just made the decision, I was going to tell you,” he said immediately.
“Shit, sorry,” Ben said from behind them. Connor didn’t call him on it, just hugged him close, then grasped a hand and tugged him away from the pervasive smell of burning.
They walked until they were outside the wall.
“I didn’t mean for it to come from Ben,” Ash said as soon as they stopped.
Connor held both of his hands. “I love you, Ash.” His words were incredibly simple and Ash stepped closer until, holding hands, they were as close together as they could be, Ash’s cheek flat on Connor’s shoulder.
“You think it will work?” Ash mused. From this angle he could see the hills beyond the house and he closed his eyes and concentrated on the scent of his lover.
“What? You taking up whittling full-time?” Connor laughed. The roll of the laugh through his chest was such a comforting noise and the vibration of it was against Ash’s cheek.
“Oh God, what if I fuck it up?”
“I’ll be there with you.”
“You will?” Ash couldn’t move to look at Connor, acutely aware he was expecting the worse.
“Always. Will you move into the cottage with me? Make it our home properly?”
Ash froze for a second. Connor was asking him to move in. He’d expected to be using the spare room at the Manor, maybe moving to the Grange, or renting in the village. Then, working up to living with Connor. But why wait?
“I get to sleep on the left,” he murmured.
“Only if you fit the new kitchen for free.”
Ash laughed. He couldn’t help it. Happiness consumed him, love dug deep inside him and forced its way out in that laughter. He lifted his head from where he’d rested it and released the hold he had on Connor’s hands. Then he did what every man did when faced with a lover who’d just asked him to move in. He tackled Connor to the floor and straddled him.
Passion was explosive, they were hard and kissing, rolling in the long grass and laughing as they kissed.
“Yes,” Ash kept saying. “A hundred times yes.”