Chapter 24
What the hell just happened? I graze my lips with my fingers. I can still feel the tingle from the touch, and tears pour down my face knowing that I’ve just pushed away the one person who was trying to help me the most.
As I wipe the tears away, I hit play and drown my emotions into my movements once again. As I turn, I’m startled to see Gran standing in front of me with her hands on her hips.
I quickly hit pause, remove my ear buds, and get ready for an earful.
“What in the hell was that shit?” she says, pointing at me.
“Nothing.”
“I’ll be damned, if you are going to let that boy go,” she yells at me.
“I don’t know, Gran. I got the Boston offer. His dad wants him to go to school…”
“I thought you just told your mother you weren’t going.”
“Well, maybe I changed my mind,” I say, stubbornly.
“Just when I thought you were getting it, you go do something like this,” she says, waving her hand in the air while turning around. “Oh, it’s time for you to go to the studio.”
I pause and yell back at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You figure it out yourself. You’re a smart girl,” she says leaving me alone in the sunshine. Figure it out for myself. Just great. Where are those parents that meddle in their kids’ lives?
Glancing at the barn, I see that Barrick is still here. I should go and apologize, but I don’t have time. Dance calls. As I hurry to my vehicle, I notice Barrick glance over his shoulder at me as he puts hay in the field. My heart hurts, but I decide to put a bandage over it like I always do.
It only takes Jade all of two seconds to realize something’s going on when I walk in the studio.
“Cade. Are you okay? You weren’t in school and you never answered my texts,” she says.
“Just a long day on the farm,” I say as I slowly make my way to the break room.
Jade begins to speak, but Ms. Lyndsay walks in the break room and comes to a halt when she sees me.
“Cadence, are you sick?” she questions.
“No, ma’am. Long day. One of the cows died, and Barrick and I got into it,” I say, flatly. Jade looks at me as if she doesn’t believe me.
“Well, I hate to hear that, but you’ve got to focus. Take those emotions out on the dance floor, but if you need to talk, I’m here.”
“Ugh! Why do people always say that shit?” I say with an enormous amount of attitude.
“That’s it! You will not use that tone or language in this studio. Everyone out, now!” she yells.
I cross my arms and look at her. “What? I said one bad word, and had a little attitude. My life sucks today. So what?”
“So what? Cadence, I will not tolerate this behavior. Everyone has battles they deal with, but you have to learn to deal with them properly. Come have a seat,” she says as she points to a black box covered in pink fur. After closing the door, she sits beside me and music begins to play in the back room. “Life doesn’t go as we plan, but we have to make the most of it. Tell me what’s really going on.”
I don’t want to talk. I want to keep it to myself. I shake my head no as the tears pour. “It’s my dad… and… really just everything,” I cry as she takes me in her arms and holds me as I sob. “First my dad left and now he just sent me a great present with a note telling me he wants back in. Then I got the offer to Boston and decided not to go, but after everything with Barrick today, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I was okay with everything until Daisy died today.”
“Daisy?” she politely questions.
“One of the cows.”
She doesn’t say anything for a minute. “So let me guess. You are worried about the calf because it lost her mom like you lost your dad, so to speak?” I nod because I can’t verbally admit it. “I know it’s hard to see the light in all of this, but maybe you were sent to Ms. Mae’s for a reason? Maybe it was part of the plan? Maybe you needed to come here to realize you can have more than one dream. Cadence, we can’t control the actions of others, but we can control our own. You can forgive your dad and you can figure out the dream that will make you happiest. You can make things right. That’s the beauty of being an adult,” she says with a smile. She stands and turns to me as I wipe my tears on my tank top. “Now, go make things right.” I look up at her in confusion. “Go home, Cadence,” she says as she walks out to start class.
Jade comes in as I pick up my bag. “Hey girl, just wanted to check on you. Are you going to come to class?”
“No. I’ve got to go home and fix some things, but I’ll be okay. When Daisy died today, I kinda lost it on everyone.”
“Including my brother?” she questions.
“Mostly your brother.” She pulls me in for a hug. She doesn’t ask me to explain and when we pull apart she gives me a half smile.
“Call me if you need me, but I promise he’ll understand. Sometimes it’s the people we love the most that get the raw end of the deal.”
“Thanks,” I say as we hug once more and I hurry to the farm.
Looking at the clock, I know I don’t have long before he will be leaving for the day. I can’t get home fast enough, but I have no idea what I’m going to say when I get there.
Barrick
When Cadence left for the studio, I lost my damn mind. I hated seeing her leave without saying goodbye and giving her a kiss. I know I have to give her space but it kills me that I can’t hold her in my arms and make her feel better. I continue to work but I can’t concentrate. All I can do is think about her and what I’m going to do to make her see that she has a choice.
As I take a quick break to cool off, I see Ms. Mae walking toward me.
“Why don’t you call it a day?” she says.
“Thank you,” I say because honestly I need to get out of here.
As I put up a few tools, I hear Ms. Mae talking to Paisley. “I’m sorry about your mama, but we love you ‘round here.” The calf lets out a small sound. “Cadence will be back. I promise you that,” she says as she winks at me.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I say and hurry to my truck.
Putting my truck in reverse, I have no idea what to do. I sure don’t want to go home because Mom will have a million and one questions about why I’m home early. Realizing I just need to clear my mind, I do what I always do and head to the middle of nowhere.
Arriving in our spot, I realize this might have been a stupid idea. Everything about this place makes me think about her, and all I want to do is clear my mind. Glancing in the back of my truck, I see my old fishing pole. I take it, and my tackle box, and walk down to the little pond.
After baiting my hook, I cast the line and take a seat on the bank. I sit back and take in my surroundings. The peace and quiet does a soul good. I have no idea how long I sit there before I feel a nibble on the line. I reel in the line only to find it took the bait.
I don’t bother putting new bait on; instead, I sit on the bank and watch the ripples in the pond. As they move across the water, all I can see is Cadence’s body swaying in my arms.
Pausing to just listen, I hear the wind in the trees, birds chirping, and an engine. What in the world? Nah. Seeing a frog on the bank, I watch as it catches an insect before jumping into the water, and that’s when I hear my name.
“Barrick!” I hear the sweetest voice I know call for me. Quickly, I move from the bank and into the clearing and that’s when I see her.
Cadence
Where is he? His truck’s here. I’m crazy and shouldn’t have come. I start to turn around and leave when I hear him.
“Cade, wait!” he says, and a smile spreads across my face. Turning to see the smile on his face lets me know everything will be fine. I drop my keys and sprint to him as he jogs to me but I swear it feels as if we’re in slow motion. I can’t get to him fast enough.
As I reach him, his arms extend and I jump into them. His arms wrap around my waist and my legs around his. Looking into his eyes I say, “I’m sorry.”
“Shhh. It’s okay,” he says and places a sweet kiss on my nose before he places me back on the ground. We don’t say anything for a few minutes as we just hold on to one another. When we finally pull apart, he leads me to the pond and he casts his line as we listen to the world around us.
After a few minutes, I know I need to tell him what I came here to say. Taking his hand in mine, I turn to him. “Barrick, I’m sorry I lost it back there. I never meant to hurt you like I did,” I say as tears begin to roll down my face. He takes the reel, and places it on the ground before turning to wipe my tears away.
“Cade, we always hurt the ones we love the most. Just talk to me.” My heart warms thinking about Jade’s words.
“It’s not you. It was never you. You’ve always been there for me and I shouldn’t have tried to push you away. I think I thought if I pushed you away first, I couldn’t get hurt. My dad really hurt me when he left my mom and me. I trusted him to be there and he wasn’t. I didn’t think I’d trust anyone again and then I did. I came here and met you and Jade and learned what real friends were like. I’m still dealing with my dad stuff because every time I’d get used to him not being there, he’d text or do something to make me think things were better. Like he just sent me this great birthday present and it made me happy. Bare, I want to hate him, but what he gave me makes me not hate him.”
Barrick takes me under his arm. “He’s your dad. You’re supposed to love him. Forgiveness is hard, but we have to forgive people.”
“Have to?” I question.
“I don’t want to get all biblical on ya, but that’s the only way I can explain it. We all have done things that aren’t great, but God forgave us. It’s what we are born to do. We have to forgive; it’s the only way to free ourselves from the hold it has on us.”
I sit and ponder a minute. Just as I’m about to speak, I see Barrick’s fishing rod go flying into the water. “What in the world!” I say as he jumps into the water after it. “Are you crazy?” I question as he retrieves it and comes out soaking wet.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I kinda just reacted without thinkin’.”
“It’s okay. I think I understand what you’re saying, but it’s so hard.”
“If it were easy, it wouldn’t mean as much. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“What did he give you? It had to be a present money couldn’t buy.” With those words, I know Barrick Carpenter knows me better than anyone else.
“I’ll show you. Get changed and meet me at the barn,” I say, as I stand to leave.
He pulls me into his arms. “I really like-love you. Don’t you ever forget it,” he says.
“I really like-love you too,” I say as we walk to our vehicles.