Chapter Sixteen
Johnny, Ramon, and Peter’s Disgusting Idea

For the Ghoul Games, Johnny, Ramon, and Peter decided to play together as a three-man basketball team. Johnny, Ramon, and Peter are best friends and each one of them also happens to be a Scary kid.

Johnny is a Sasquatch, but when his feet grow enough, he’ll be a Bigfoot. You may remember from before that Johnny has messy brown hair. That is true, except the messy brown hair is everywhere. The only part of him that doesn’t have hair on it is his nose, which is big and round like a clown’s nose, and has a small red freckle on the end of it. Johnny is very protective of his one freckle, but the truth is that his face is covered in freckles. He just can’t see them because of all the hair.

Ramon is a kid zombie. That means he is a living mind inside of a dead, decaying body. Parts of his body are always falling off, usually his fingers, toes, and ears. Whenever a kid sees a random body part lying in the hallway or on the playground, they always bring it back to Ramon, and he puts it back on with glue. In order to keep his zombie brain alive, he needs to eat brains. Any kind of brains will do; even a whole handful of bug brains or fish brains will get the job done. People brains are a very special treat.

Peter, as you may remember, is a werewolf. When Peter is a regular kid, he is called Peter and is the nicest kid in school. When Peter is a wolf, he is called Peter the Wolf and turns into the meanest kid in school. At the age of ten, he has no control yet over when he turns into a wolf. Kids try to be extra nice to him, but if the slightest thing doesn’t go his way, he becomes Peter the Wolf and everyone better watch out.

Johnny, Ramon, and Peter are a very good basketball team because each has a different skill. Johnny the Sasquatch is the tallest kid in class, so he gets all the rebounds and makes good passes. Ramon the zombie is a “dead-on” shot, so he drains three-pointers like they’re layups. When Peter is just Peter, he’s awful. When Peter is Peter the Wolf, he can jump ten feet in the air, so he likes to jump over people and dunk.

The only problem is Peter’s claws sometimes pop the ball, so he has to keep them filed or else the game is over as soon as he touches the ball.

After winter break, the three of them practiced basketball every day during recess and even after school. Since there were three of them, they always had to play two against one. Whoever was the “one” would always get creamed. The first week of practice, Johnny and Ramon beat Peter 98 to 4. Peter and Ramon beat Johnny 77 to 12. Johnny and Peter beat Ramon 145 to 3.

Using Monster Math, Ramon lost 243 billion to negative 6 trillion.

They kept practicing, playing two against one every day, and then an amazing thing started to happen. The “one” player had to work so hard just to stay in the game that all three improved much faster than normal. After just three weeks, the two-on-ones became almost dead-even matches. Johnny and Ramon beat Peter 56 to 53. Peter and Ramon beat Johnny 65 to 64 (Ramon hit a lucky three-pointer at the buzzer to pull it out). Ramon actually beat Johnny and Peter 82 to 74. That game Ramon got a very hot hand, which was technically always cold.

All three were at the top of their games and felt unstoppable. They couldn’t wait for the Ghoul Games to start. Until, that is, they got a greeting card from their opponents.

Scream Academy was sending their star basketball players to play against them. The greeting card showed each player standing next to a basketball hoop.

“Oh nuts,” said Johnny, Ramon, and Peter as they looked at the card.

Their opponents were giants. Literally.

Each one was in fifth grade like they were, but they were at least eight feet tall. They looked like they could dunk without even jumping. Johnny was the tallest kid in Ms. Fang’s class, but he was only five feet tall.

“What are we going to do, guys?” asked Johnny, quivering.

“I don’t know,” said Ramon. “If I eat some big brains, maybe I can figure something out.”

“I could stop filing my claws down,” said Peter. “If I get the ball early, I can pop the ball and then maybe we’ll have a zero-zero tie.”

“Come on, there has to be a way,” said Johnny. “It’s just like math . . . there’s always a right answer.”

“We could play on sti—,” Ramon tried to say, but his tongue fell out of his mouth and landed on the ground. He brushed it off and put it back in his mouth. “Sorry. We could play on stilts.”

“I have a feeling that’s a bad idea,” said Peter.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that would be cheating,” said Johnny.

“Wait, I got it,” said Johnny. “Let’s eat really gross, disgusting bugs every day until the Ghoul Games. That way, when the giants eat us, we’ll taste as gross as the bugs, and maybe they’ll spit us out.”

“I think that’s the best plan we’re gonna get,” said Johnny.

“I agree,” said Peter.

So they started running around the school yard looking for insects to eat.

“There’s one!” said Johnny, pointing to a flying beetle.

Ramon saw it flying in the air, and he heaved the basketball at it from twenty feet away. Of course it was a perfect shot. The ball hit the beetle in the air and knocked it out. The beetle fell toward the ground, and Johnny ran underneath it and caught it on the rebound. Johnny passed the beetle to Peter, who dunked it in some ketchup, and together they enjoyed a disgusting beetle snack.

“This tastes terrible!” said Ramon.

“I know, it’s perfect,” said Johnny. “If we taste half this bad, we’re home free.”

“I think it’s pretty good,” said Peter the Wolf. “If you guys taste half this good, I might eat you before the giants do.”