Chapter Twenty
Lindsey Learns a Lesson

Lindsey had long blond pigtails and was quite certain she was the prettiest girl at Scary School.

Because she thought she was the prettiest, Lindsey also thought she must be the most popular, but the truth was, hardly anybody liked her because she seemed so sure she was better than everyone else.

Her only friends were Stephanie and Maria, who weren’t very smart, so they believed Lindsey when she told them she was the most popular girl in the school. They thought being friends with Lindsey would make them popular, too. They weren’t smart enough to realize it had the opposite effect.

Back on the first day of school, Lindsey, Stephanie, and Maria ran out to the hopscotch courts at recess. They were the first ones to get there and claimed Hopscotch Court #1 for themselves. It was the best hopscotch court because it was the only one in the shade. Lindsey took out a piece of pink chalk and wrote their names on the asphalt next to the court—LINDSEY, STEPHANIE, AND MARIA. Then, Lindsey shouted to the whole yard, “Listen, everyone! This is my hopscotch court because I got here first. I am the only one who is allowed to use it for the rest of the year. No one else can use it unless you have my permission. Got it?”

Stephanie and Maria crossed their arms and gave threatening looks to get the point across.

Everyone thought Lindsey must be some kind of tough Scary kid to make such a bold claim, and they all nodded their heads.

“I bet she’s a harpy,” Fred said to Jason.

“No way,” said Jason, “she must be Medusa. Don’t stare into her eyes or you’ll turn into stone.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s it,” said Johnny.

“Yeah, she’s definitely Medusa,” said Fred.

The rumor quickly spread that Lindsey was the young Medusa, and everyone on the playground turned around and dared not look at her.

“Well, that worked well,” said Lindsey to Stephanie and Maria. “You see, when you’re the most popular girl, you get that kind of respect.”

“Um . . . no one’s even looking at us,” Maria grumbled.

“Of course,” said Lindsey. “It’s because we’re so pretty. They don’t want to be reminded of how ugly they are.”

“Oh. Right.”

The other thing Lindsey loved (besides hopscotch) was dancing. She took dance classes every day after school. She was very sad that Scary School never had any school dances for her to show off her moves. That’s why she was so excited when Principal Headcrusher made this announcement on a Monday morning in early May:

“Students, as you all know, the Ghoul Games begin next week. I have just been informed by the gracious Mr. Wolfbark that students from the other Scary schools will be visiting us and attending classes with you all this week. The exchange will culminate with a school dance called the Dance of Doom this Friday night in Petrified Pavilion. I expect you all to be gracious hosts for our Scary guests this week and to make them feel at home. That is all.”

Lindsey could hardly contain her excitement. When she heard about the dance, she screamed out, “Yes!” at the top of her lungs. A rush of thoughts were swirling through her head: I can’t wait to go get a new dress, and new shoes, and a new haircut, oh, and I wonder who’s going to ask me. . . . I bet everyone is going to ask me. . . . Who will I say yes to?

At that moment, three hideous monsters walked into the room—each one uglier than the next.

“Awoo-Aloo!” said the monsters.

“Awoo-Aloo!” said the class back to them, and the monsters did backflips.

“Hi, I’m Pob-Lob,” said the first ugly monster.

“Hi, I’m Dorba,” said the even uglier monster.

“Hi, I’m Gurk,” said the ugliest one of them all.

“Welcome,” said Ms. Fang. “I take it you’re our exchange students from other Scary schools.”

“Yop. We from Ogre Prep. We learn here. We need seat.”

And so the monsters joined the class and seemed just as smart as any of the other kids, even though they talked funny.

“Sorry about the whole Golden Torch thing,” whispered Jason to Pob-Lob. “I hope you weren’t too mad at us.”

“Huh?” said Pob-Lob. “Oh yesh! Thanks to you for stopping Golden Torch running! It saved many monsters from being smashed by trolls in contest to carry stupid torch. We were very gratefuls to you for that.”

When class ended, Lindsey met Stephanie and Maria at their hopscotch court. They immediately began discussing all the details of the dance and who they were hoping to go with. Then the three monsters came up to the hopscotch court and looked right at Lindsey. It was the first time anyone besides Stephanie or Maria had looked at her in nine months, and she was a bit shocked.

“We play hop-hop with you humans,” said Pob-Lob.

“Eww,” said Lindsey. “In case you haven’t noticed, we are the prettiest girls in school.”

“You look just as ugly as every other human,” said Gurk.

“Whatever,” said Lindsey. “Maybe you can’t tell, but we are definitely the prettiest, and we do not play with ugly monsters like you, so go find some other weirdos to play ‘hop-hop’ with.”

The three monsters grrrred and walked away, then played a very nice game of hopscotch with Rachael and Raychel.

It was Thursday afternoon. The day before the Dance of Doom, and nobody had asked Lindsey to go to the dance yet. Everyone must be scared to ask me because I’m so pretty and they’ll think I’ll say no, she thought. I guess I’ll have to ask someone myself.

She caught Fred in the hallway and said, “It’s your lucky day, Fred. I want you to take me to the Dance of Doom.”

“Sorry,” said Fred. “I’m going with Rachael.”

“Oh, are you sure you don’t want to drop her for me?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” said Fred, trying not to make eye contact.

Next, Lindsey asked Jason, but he was going with Frank (which is pronounced “Rachel”). Johnny was going with Petunia, Peter was going with Cindy Chan, and Ramon was going with Wendy Crumkin. Everyone had a date already!

During lunch, she thought to herself, I can’t believe I’m going to do this, and she went up to the skinny, geeky Charles Nukid and asked him to the dance.

“Sorry,” said Charles. “I’m going with Penny Possum.”

Friday at recess, Lindsey was playing hopscotch with Stephanie and Maria.

“I guess we’ll all just have to go to the dance together,” she said to them.

“Actually,” said Stephanie, “I’m going with Benny Porter. He just came back as a zombie.”

“Yeah, and I’m going with Antonio. He’s a vampire in the sixth grade,” said Maria.

“So you two have dates, and I don’t?” said Lindsey, astonished.

“Yeah.”

That made Lindsey snap, and she yelled out to the whole school yard, “Don’t any of you realize how pretty I am?”

Then she burst into tears and ran out of the school yard. She curled up in a corner behind the lockers and continued crying.

Eventually someone came and found her. She looked up, expecting to see Stephanie or Maria, but instead she saw Gurk, the ugliest exchange-monster of them all. His face looked something like a rotten head of broccoli. He had squinty eyes, a pig’s snout, and a forked tongue.

“What wrong, human girl?” Gurk asked.

“None of your business!” she snapped back.

“My name Gurk,” he said. “You go to Dance of Doom with Gurk?”

Lindsey looked up at him and could only retch.

“Ugh!” she said. “You’re the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. I would rather go alone, thank you!”

“Okay,” said Gurk. “Gurk understands. You do Gurk a favor though?”

“What?”

“Tell Gurk if his monster dance is good or not.”

Lindsey chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Okay,” she said. “This ought to be good.”

Gurk put a music player on the ground and turned it on. A hit song blasted, and he started dancing.

Lindsey’s jaw dropped. He was incredible. He was better than Justin Timberlake and Usher combined. She’d never seen anything like it.

“That’s amazing. Are all monsters as good at dancing as you?” Lindsey asked.

“No,” said Gurk. “Gurk just loves to dance. No one dance as good as Gurk.”

“Well, you are fantastic,” Lindsey said. Then she got up and started to show Gurk her own moves.

“Wow!” said Gurk. “You good dancer, too!”

“Thanks! We should totally go to the dance together.”

Lindsey couldn’t believe she’d said that. She just never wanted to stop dancing with Gurk.

“But you said no already,” said Gurk.

“I was just kidding,” she fibbed. “It’s what humans do sometimes.”

“Oh. Okay. Yaaay!”

That night, Gurk and Lindsey walked into Petrified Pavilion together for the Dance of Doom. She was wearing her new white dress and her new red shoes, and he was wearing a bright blue suit.

There were some snickers when they walked in and stepped onto the dance floor. No one could believe they had come together.

Then the music started. Lindsey and Gurk grasped hands and began dancing together. All the snickering ceased, and the whole crowd immediately formed a circle around them and watched Lindsey and Gurk do the most amazing dance anyone had ever seen. There were gasps, cheers, and shouts for more. No one could believe the spectacular display they were witnessing.

As the song was finishing, Gurk tossed Lindsey thirty feet in the air, spinning her like a top. Her dress spun so fast, it held her up in the air like a helicopter, and she flew around the pavilion to waves of applause and celebratory screams. Then she dove down to Gurk, and he caught her in a dramatic finishing pose just as the song ended.

For the first time in her life, Lindsey actually was the most popular girl in school.

After the dance, Lindsey gave Gurk a kiss good-night. Gurk’s green face turned red, and Lindsey laughed.

She never judged anyone by their looks again.

Lindsey made more friends that last month of school than she ever had before.