Chapter Eight

My heart still pounded with the almost perpetual anger that lived inside me, but I didn’t feel the overwhelming urge to hit something anymore. Caleb had helped with that much. I paid the cashier for the dinner and carried the paper bag full of Chinese takeout to the new car Franklin had provided to help us stay incognito.

The brief fight had served another purpose as well—pushing Ava away. Shock and a touch of disgust had been evident in her expression after I hit Caleb. Violence was not her normal way of living. Really, it wasn’t mine, either, although the temptation was stronger with the tattoos. But it was better for her to believe that I lived on the edge of it daily.

Because I didn’t seem capable of resisting her otherwise.

I drove back to the apartment building, taking a roundabout route and watching for tails. No matter how I tried to keep them out, thoughts of Ava slipped into my mind. Thoughts of kissing her. Thoughts of how she’d felt pressed up against me. Thoughts of what I’d like to do to her if only things weren’t so goddamned complicated.

She’d been so fucking responsive. A moment’s hesitation, then her kiss had demanded as much as it had given. I hardened at the memory and cursed.

After an extra few seconds in the car to get my body back under control, I unlocked the apartment and headed in, determined to keep things as sexless as possible. Ava hadn’t moved from her chair, but I knew something was wrong the second I caught sight of her.

Guilt coated her—from her defiant chin to the quiver in her lip to her crossed arms. She was ready for a fight. Very deliberately, she set her cell phone down. Her eyes never left mine.

Oh, fuck. This couldn’t be good. “Ava, what did you do?”

“I’m fixing this,” she said, and her narrowed eyes dared me to argue.

I’d be damned if her defiant attitude didn’t make me want her more, even as dread crawled through me.

“This isn’t your responsibility to fix. It’s my job. I’m the one who got you interested in this whole thing. The one who mentioned the Venators to you. If I hadn’t—” I shook my head. Arguing about this was pointless. “Tell me what you did.”

“I called Thomas.”

Heat flooded my body, and I shook with the sudden need to do violence. “What?” I roared.

She didn’t flinch. “I told him that I wanted to know what happened at the bar. He invited me to dinner. I said yes.”

Her matter-of-fact explanation did nothing to calm the storm she’d started inside me. Rage warred with worry. Worry warred with fear. Fear for her life and her soul.

I couldn’t lose someone I was supposed to be protecting. Not again.

Eyes closed, I tried to calm myself. Yelling at her wouldn’t solve anything, even though I was sorely tempted. Only the idea of laying out my rage for her to see kept me in check. It might be better for her to be afraid of me, but I’d be damned if I actually wanted that.

I slowly opened my eyes.

“He asked how I’d known he’d be there—at Pulse. I told him we could talk about it in person. That seemed to satisfy him.” Her eyes turned pleading, and something in my chest twisted. “Karson, this could be our chance. You’ll know exactly where he’ll be. You get your people into position, and then you can take him down.”

Her plan was solid. Even through the worry threatening to drown me, I could see that. But the idea of her breathing the same air as Thomas was unacceptable.

The door jangled, and I turned and took a defensive posture. Demons wouldn’t break in with keys, but I wasn’t taking chances. I relaxed when I saw Franklin.

“Woman’s right,” Franklin said, shutting the door behind him. “It’s a damn good plan.”

“Eavesdropping, old man?” Normal humans might not be able to hear well enough to have made out our conversation through the walls, but an interested Franklin probably could. Tattoos not only enhanced movement and strength, but senses as well.

And Franklin had a hell of a lot of tattoos.

“You must be Ava.” Franklin gave her his heartwarming I’m-just-a-harmless-older-gentleman smile and reached out to shake her hand.

She smiled back and gave his hand a regretful glance. “I’m sorry, not a big hand-shaker.”

“Oh, yes. Of course not,” Franklin said. His expression remained the polite, nice image he was trying to project, but I could see the interest in his eyes. The scales behind them, weighing her worth. Trying to figure out how best to use her for the cause.

“You’re not doing this,” I said to Ava. I didn’t care if Franklin thought it was a good idea or not. She wasn’t getting close to that demon.

“We can control the situation, Karson. Three hunters can take down one injured demon, even if he sees us coming. If we’re smart about it,” Franklin said.

“Don’t forget we don’t know who Thomas is working for. This mysterious boss of his might be more than we can handle, and it’s likely that Thomas has called him in since he was attacked.”

“If he even exists,” Franklin said derisively. “For all we know, the man Thomas claims to work for is a fabrication to make it look like he has stronger backing than he really does.”

“In my experience, demons don’t pretend to be subservient to anyone.”

“Well, pardon me if I don’t put much stock in your very limited experience.” Franklin’s expression softened. “I’ve seen them pull more wily tricks than this, son. You worked for him for two months. You never saw another demon around him.”

“He took phone calls—”

“Calls that could have been from anyone.”

I shook my head. “Maybe you’re right and Thomas is alone in this. But I still don’t want her going.”

Franklin raised an eyebrow at me. “Why not?”

“It isn’t safe.”

“She’ll be as safe as a person can be in this fight.”

“She isn’t in this fight.”

Ava turned to me, meeting my gaze with a steely look of her own. “I want to do this.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but snapped it shut. What could I say? That I wasn’t sure I’d make it if I lost another person I cared about to a demon? That I already gave a shit about her?

None of it would help. And all of it was too revealing. Besides, anything I said would just be leading her on further—just like I’d done with that kiss.

“Fine,” I ground out. “When is this dinner?”

Her eyes lit up and a bright smile took over her face. Something in my chest shifted uncomfortably.

“Tomorrow night—Thursday. You can take him out before that gala, so whatever he’s got planned won’t happen.” Her grin widened. “Plus, then he’ll be gone before Miriam’s graduation party on Friday, too. Things will get back to normal just in time.”

I’d take out Thomas. Because it was my job. Because it would gain me my own cell.

Because, hell. I couldn’t let Ava die.

…

I lost myself in my thoughts while Karson drove. He’d had a brief conversation with Franklin before we’d left the apartment complex. If Karson’s short, clipped sentences hadn’t told me he was still upset, his total silence as we drove would have. When we pulled up at the skeeviest motel I’d seen outside of horror movies, I blinked at it, confused.

“Where are we?”

“You can’t be trusted on your own, so you’re staying with me.”

“That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?”

A spark of anger still lingered around the hard edges of his frown. “I don’t think so. I think you need to take the situation you’re in a little more seriously.” He opened the door to the car and then slammed it behind him before I could come up with a response. Some of the Venators obviously believed in slamming doors.

I frowned, gave the old motel another long look, then followed him out of the car.

He walked around the hotel to a room far from where we’d parked and unlocked the door with an honest-to-goodness key. The motel didn’t even have key cards.

With me behind him, he stopped in the doorway to scan the room before stepping farther in so I could join him. Two full-sized beds sat in close proximity, separated by the lone nightstand gracing the room. A small table and two chairs sat in a corner, and the short dresser had an old tube television sitting on top of it. No cable box. I would bet they had the same number of basic cable channels I had at my apartment. A tiny fridge tucked into a corner of the room had a small coffeemaker sitting on top.

At least it smelled fresh and clean. That was a heck of a lot more than I’d dared hope for after seeing the outside.

“Do I need to worry about bed bugs?” I asked, only half-joking.

Karson grunted. “The place is clean enough, just old.”

“I’m going to need some clothes. Can’t just run around in a towel.”

For a moment he didn’t say anything. Then his gaze shifted to my mouth.

I bit my lip to keep from saying something stupid, suddenly very aware of him.

He went very still. The space between us sizzled, and for a moment I thought he might kiss me again. Despite the fact that I knew he wasn’t a man I could ever hope to keep, I wanted, so badly, to kiss him again. To experience the fervor, the anger, he carried with him. To feel it twisted into a passion for me.

It would be the kind of memory that could carry a woman happily into old age.

Seconds passed, too many for the situation not to be awkward. Finally, he stepped away. When he looked back, his face was closed off again, hard and void of emotion.

“We’ll get you some essentials. There’s a Target nearby.”

Target wasn’t going to do for dinner with Thomas. Nor for Miriam’s graduation party. But now didn’t seem like the right time to argue with him about clothes. I had other, more pressing worries.

“Is it really safe for me to be here? I mean, you worked for Thomas, right?”

“Kind of.”

“Isn’t there a possibility that he’ll look for you here?”

“This is a Venator safe house, not my normal residence.”

“This is a motel room.”

His mouth threatened a grin, but it faded almost immediately. “We use all sorts of places, all of them permanently warded. You’ll be safe here.”

“I definitely need to pick some things up later.” Like a dress.

“There will be basics in the bathroom. Toothbrushes and bathroom stuff. Probably a couple of T-shirts.” He turned away from me and busied himself with looking for something in his bag.

“Fine. But tomorrow—”

“You really could have gotten hurt today, you know.” His voice was quiet.

I couldn’t tell with him facing away if he was still angry. But the man always seemed to be mad, so it was a safe bet. “Caleb said the place was warded, so I thought a phone call would be safe enough. I’m sorry I had to go behind your back. But I had to do something.”

“You said that already.”

“What do you want me to say, Karson?” I threw my hands up, a dramatic motion he missed since he hadn’t turned to face me. “I messed up. But it’s a decent plan.”

Finally, he looked at me, and his face was red with anger and charged with emotion. “I want you to tell me what the hell you were thinking. I want you to say that you don’t have a fucking death wish.”

In one quick motion he moved from kneeling a few feet from me to standing only inches away, gripping my upper arms so hard they ached.

I put my hands on his chest, not pushing, but unsure of what else to do with them with him so close. “I don’t have a death wish. I just—”

“You just what, Ava? Thought you’d risk your life over this?”

The intensity in his expression made my mouth suddenly dry, and I licked my lips. His eyes followed the motion, and his grip on my arms loosened slightly.

“I—” What? I could only explain myself so many times. I was done. “I made the right choice. Deal with it.”

Shock registered on his face, then he pulled me against him and all the air left the room.

His lips were hot.

His mouth demanding.

And for once I didn’t worry about getting a vision. It was as if a load had lifted, leaving only desperate hunger behind.

I opened my mouth to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he pulled me close with a growl low in his chest. It was all I could do to cling to him as he devoured me.

Maybe he was out of my league and he still scared me some, but in that moment I couldn’t have cared less. Blood rushed through my ears, and his scent overwhelmed me—raw and sweaty and all hunter and man. He pulled me more tightly against his hard body, and a small sound escaped me, needy and wanting.

I could hardly believe this was happening. He wanted me as badly as I wanted him. His erection pressed against my stomach and his hands roamed across my body. He gripped my butt with both hands and lifted me up against the wall, then rubbed his hardness against my most sensitive spot.

“Karson,” I breathed as he moved his mouth from mine to lick and kiss his way down my neck, over my collarbone. I cried out when his rough hand slid over the sensitive skin of my stomach and slipped under my bra to cup my breast. His tongue moved down my neck as his thumb caressed my nipple, teasing it to attention.

“God, Ava, I promised myself I wouldn’t do this,” he murmured against my mouth.

I’d made similar promises to myself. And no matter what I liked to think about this being a fun, once in a lifetime thing, I knew that if I let myself go any further with him, I might not be able to recover. Every man would be compared to a demon hunter. But that didn’t matter. Tomorrow didn’t matter. All that mattered was this moment and how he made me feel. Like I was suddenly alive, for the very first time in my life.

Suddenly Karson stepped back, his face so wrought with passion that I took a step to follow. He held up a hand.

“Wait. Give me a minute. We need to think about this.”

No. I was done thinking. “There’s nothing to think about. We’re both adults. We can do whatever we want. And I want you.”

“Not sure that’s such a good idea.” Anger overtook the passion in his expression.

Was he mad at me? He didn’t have any reason to be. I wasn’t ashamed of wanting him. I opened my mouth to tell him just that, but he waved me off.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m angry with myself for letting this happen.” He backed away. His hands shook. “This isn’t fair to you. And I’m not in a position to make things right here.”

Words hanging in the air, Karson grabbed his jacket off one of the chairs sitting at the room’s small table and headed for the door. It slammed behind him.

Embarrassment hit me first, shame so drowning I had to sit on the edge of the bed we’d come so close to making love on. He didn’t want me. Not like I wanted him. If he had, he wouldn’t have been able to leave.

But why didn’t he want me? I wasn’t stunning like Miriam, but that hadn’t seemed to bother him when he’d started kissing me. I hadn’t pushed him for a commitment. Hadn’t been a whiny, needy brat.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

I wasn’t the problem. He was.

I paced around the hotel room, wishing I could follow him. Wishing I’d yelled at him before he left. Wishing, more than anything, that he’d kept kissing me. And then done more.

Wishes like that were dangerous.

But why shouldn’t I want things like that? Someone like him? I was still a normal woman, stupid curse and all. And Karson was burn-your-house-down hot.

Gorgeous—even with his scars and tattoos, which only enhanced his attractiveness with their hint of danger. Strong—he fought demons, for crying out loud. Men didn’t get stronger than that. Broody and mysterious—like some hot vampire off television who’d lived a dozen lifetimes but was still able to fall in love.

So why would he choose me?

I plopped onto the bed, no longer worried about the cleanliness of the comforter. I was in the fight of my life, the most tense and dramatic situation I could have imagined myself in. And Karson, the demon hunter, was protecting me.

Of course I was infatuated.

But to Karson, this was a normal day at work. I was just another job. Why should he feel anything particularly strong for me? He shouldn’t.

And he didn’t.

Because really, what red-blooded man walked away from what was clearly an open offer of sex? I mean, seriously, who did that?

…

Damn Ava and her fucking moxie. Setting up a meeting with a demon on her own. Coming on to me—hell, it had taken everything I had to walk away from what she was offering. I couldn’t deal with hunting demons, protecting Ava, and wanting her so bad I shook. Taking off seemed to be my new MO, but I’d had to get the hell away from her. From her luscious body. Her warm and open mouth. Her bright eyes, wide with intensity and intelligence and…hell, I didn’t even know what else it was I saw in her eyes. Something I didn’t really understand.

I managed exactly one lap around the building, distracting myself by looking for signs that demons might have followed us here. But there were none. I hadn’t even told Franklin which safe house we were using. Of course, the man could probably find us easily enough if he wanted to. But I needed this to be me and Ava for now.

The steady sound of the shower greeted me when I got back to the room. And it ran for a good five minutes before I’d calmed down enough to talk to her.

When I heard the water being turned off, I banged on the bathroom door, not quite mad enough to open it without permission. I was pissed, both at her for her risk-taking and myself for not being able to keep control around her, but there were still boundaries I wouldn’t cross.

And maybe it was time to tell her why I had those boundaries. Tell her what it was that had turned me into a man who had so much demon blood inside him I teetered on the razor edge of good and evil.

“What?” she said, opening the door and peering out at me, towel clutched to her breast.

“I love you in a good towel, sweetheart.”

“What do you want, Karson?”

“Do you know what you’re risking?” I leaned against the doorframe and tried to keep my mind from wandering to how easy it would be to get her out of that towel.

“Of course I do. But what makes me so different from you? You risk your life every day.”

“I—” I swallowed the rock in my throat and stared at her pink toenails. “I can’t lose you like that.” Wide eyes greeted mine when I looked back up. “Do you think I just fell into this, Ava?”

“Demon hunting, you mean.” Her face took on a serious cast.

“Yeah, demon hunting.”

“I figured you weren’t born into it or anything.”

I shook my head and dropped my gaze to the floor. Some things were too painful to tell while connected by sight. “Years ago, I lost everyone I ever cared about. Everyone I ever loved. All in one fell swoop to a hungry demon. My parents. My little sister.”

“Oh, Karson—”

“It was fucking random—is it wrong that almost makes it worse? A demon who called himself Malus killed them. He was on the run. A local Venator cell was after his head and had managed, with a lot of help, to injure him. Demon asshole needed to recharge. My family was in his path.”

I had to tell her the rest of it now, or I’d never finish. It felt like the knowledge would drown me if I didn’t get it all out. “I found them. I walked into our home and saw the blood and…they were mauled. Like an animal had—” I couldn’t breathe. Ava simply waited as I worked to regain control. “That fucker just walked out like nothing was wrong. I passed him on my way in. Thought his suit looked familiar, but it wasn’t until later I realized it was one of my dad’s.”

She made a choking noise, but I didn’t look at her. Couldn’t look, or I wouldn’t finish. “We passed on the sidewalk, and I thought he was some salesman or a religious guy looking for converts. He smiled at me, all fucking polite. Probably tickled the hell out of him, knowing what I was going to walk into. I will hunt that demon until the day I die, Ava.”

“I can’t imagine—”

“I don’t want your pity.”

A haggard breath escaped her. “I don’t pity you. How could I? I just…I’m sorry.”

“It’s why I can’t keep kissing you, no matter how much I want you. Because you deserve a hell of a lot better than a man who can’t ever have a real life with you.”

“You want to keep kissing me?”

“I want to do a lot more than that.”

Silence fell over us for a moment. I went to take a step back, but Ava reached out and took my hand in hers. Keeping her gaze on our joined hands, she spoke.

“I watched my cousin die in a vision when I was a child. Saw him burning in a car wreck. I couldn’t save him, Karson. My family ignored my warnings, no matter how loudly I screamed. I never seem to be able to save the people in my visions. And my family hated me for it—that I’d warned them didn’t matter. They called me unnatural. I heard my aunt tell my mother that I was of the devil—and my mom didn’t argue with her. Not easy for a twelve-year-old to take.” Her eyes went blank, as emotionless as I imagined mine were when I was avoiding painful memories.

“And even after I learned to be more subtle with my warnings, to hide them in the form of advice, it never worked out right. I was a know-it-all for telling a friend at school not to date a certain boy. I was a tattletale after my only high school boyfriend got caught cheating on a test I warned him not to cheat on.” Her voice caught. “It just never works out right. No matter how hard I try.” She laughed, a choked half sob. “Of course, it figures that the only time I make a difference is to save a demon. And people wonder why I call it a curse.”

Her eyes met mine, and the understanding there almost broke me.

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, Karson. And I won’t pretend I can even begin to wrap my mind around how that would feel. I would never ask you to give up your hunt for me.”

Emotions rolled over me—so fast and hard I couldn’t quite grasp them. My old familiar pain, and new pain for her. They built under my skin, threatening to burst free if I didn’t find an outlet.

I pushed the bathroom door open the rest of the way. Ava let out a soft squeak, but I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. Brutally, I punished her with my mouth. I needed an outlet for my emotion. No. Not just an outlet. I needed her.

Only a moment of hesitation, and she was kissing me back. One hand clutched my shoulder while the other held on to her towel. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her closer, anger completely drowned by the passion she elicited in me.

“This is such a bad idea,” I murmured against her lips.

“Shut the hell up and quit thinking for once.”

Still wet from the shower, she clung to me as I kissed her neck. I nibbled my way to her shoulders and then, in one sweeping motion, picked her up—towel and all. Then I carried her out of the bathroom and set her on her feet next to the bed.

I tugged lightly on the towel she still clutched, but didn’t try to take it from her. This was her decision, and even if it killed me, I would stop if she wanted me to.

“We don’t have—”

“Didn’t I tell you to be quiet?” Her words were teasing, but her voice was full with emotion. With a jerk of quick movement, her posture stiffened, and then she tossed the towel to the floor.

My heart jumped into my throat as my cock jumped to attention. She was beautiful. Droplets of water ran down from her damp hair to kiss the rest of her body. Her nipples stood out on her perfect breasts, dark cherry red against the paleness of her skin. Her blond hair was dark with dampness, and she looked at me from under hooded eyes, biting the inside of her lip nervously.

“You are so fucking beautiful.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, then she gave me a sexy grin and plucked at my T-shirt. I yanked the shirt over my head and then pulled her against me. Breasts soft against my chest, her hard nipples teased me. She moaned, then her mouth met mine and I tasted the same passion I felt on her lips. I kissed my way down her soft skin until I tugged one of her red buds into my mouth. Sucking it, I moved to the other one as she cried out.

Passionate. Fuck, but was Ava passionate. Every touch of my skin to hers, she reacted, gasping, sliding her hands and body against mine. Heat swept between us, dancing everywhere our skin met.

I’d never been so hard in my goddamned life.

Her hand running through my hair, I licked and nibbled my way down her body, sliding my hand down her back while the other cupped and squeezed and touched her front, until I reached the apex of her thighs. I needed to touch every inch of her glistening skin.

She jerked when I slid my hand between her legs. God, she was already so fucking wet.

I slid a finger into her to make sure she was ready, and she arched against my hand. She was so responsive it almost hurt me to rein myself in. I wanted to push her onto the bed and bury myself in her forever. Fuck us both into oblivion. Never leave this room. Never return to my responsibilities. Never abandon her, as I knew I’d have to eventually.

No, I wasn’t dwelling on that now. My focus had to be on her. On making sure she enjoyed this. She deserved my full attention. She deserved everything.

And for the short time she was mine, I would do my damnedest to give it to her.

Then I was guiding her onto the bed and tossing my pants onto the floor. I covered her body with mine before I remembered to grab a condom out of my bag. I approached her slowly, savoring the view of her on my bed. Of her soft breasts, swollen lips, smooth skin. Remembering my underwear, I pulled them off and tossed them somewhere behind me. Her eyes widened at the sight of my cock and she licked her lips.

Fuck it. I couldn’t go slow. Next time I’d take it slow.

Starving for her, I returned and feasted again on her mouth as she ran her hands over my hardness. I pressed myself into her hand, and she squeezed me.

We moved together perfectly. Her needy moans met with my caresses. My aching body was enflamed by her delicate touch.

Finally, when my head thundered with the need to fill her, I nudged her legs farther open and rubbed her nub, then slid a finger inside of her. Fuck me if she wasn’t as ready for me as I was for her.

She moaned and gripped my cock, guiding me between her legs until I could feel her waiting heat. Unable to hold back any longer, I thrust into her slick tightness. With effort, I held myself back from shattering immediately.

Mine.

She moaned and writhed, so tight and wet and perfect. Pleasure the likes of which I’d never felt before overwhelmed me and I held my ground for a few seconds, forcing her to hold still beneath me. My hands dug into the bed so hard I thought the comforter might rip. Then I shifted, my body finding a delicious rhythm with hers.

We moved together as if made from the same pieces, designed to fit and work perfectly with each other. She bit my shoulder and I pounded into her, no longer thinking clearly enough to slow my pace, to worry if it was too much for her. My only thought was to ease the ache inside us both.

I took her mouth again, and she kissed me back with a fervor that took my breath away. And when she called my name against my lips and tightened around me, I followed her in an explosion that shook me, body and soul.