Preface
H omage to the supremely enlightened Tendzin Gyatso
A valokitesvara, embodiment of the compassion of all the buddhas
I ngenious propagator of the Buddhist teachings
L ord of the Buddhist polity and protector of the land of snows.
WITH THIS WORSHIPFUL invocation of the noble object of refuge, I shall begin. In 1959, after the brazen military invasion and subjugation of our independent country, Tibet, the land of snows, by the Red Chinese, some of His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s disciples and followers among the peoples of the three great districts of Tibet fled as refugees to the neighboring land of India and other countries, while those of us who were less fortunate remained behind and experienced unbearable suffering under the rule of the aggressors. No single person could thoroughly or comprehensively describe the inexpressible destruction of the country and way of life of the Tibetan people by the Chinese invaders, but it is up to all those who experienced the various aspects of this [destruction] at different times and in different areas to tell whatever they know and recall. I had long wanted to write an account of my own story, but since the sufferings I had experienced were quite ordinary, I doubted if it would have much value. My own level of innate and acquired knowledge is extremely low, and thinking how difficult it would be to put my memories into writing, I remained hesitant and discouraged.
Then, during the commemoration of the March 10, 1959 uprising in 1988, His Holiness the Dalai Lama told us that concerning the situation of occupied Tibet, truth was on our side, but it was not enough for us to realize and know that only for ourselves. It was very important to put the truths of our experiences into writing. It would not do [just] to say that with the imposition of Chinese rule in Tibet in recent times, both our land and our people have been entirely decimated and those who actually experienced this have died. He said that these experiences should be articulated in a form that could be clearly seen and heard about, so that in future the world could be shown, a clear historical record could be written, and the next generation could understand what happened. Therefore it was very important for us all to write a frank and direct account of the sufferings we had actually experienced individually, based on what we had seen and heard for ourselves, without depending on what others may have said. Otherwise, all who had actually experienced such suffering would gradually pass away, and without the direct, detailed transmission of their stories to the new generation, there was a danger that nothing more would be known about it in the future than the general statement that some great suffering took place at that time. We should try to produce many different written accounts of people’s actual experience, whether in summary or in detail. A few people had already written accounts of their personal history and a few more were still being written; if the volume of such writings could be increased, particularly by those still in Tibet, that would be a good thing. Because of the impossibility of publishing and publicizing them inside Tibet, such writings could be brought out and published here in exile.
Hearing this advice, I made up my mind, because of my recurrent thoughts of writing as well as the opportunity of having arrived in a free country, to put down the story of how I lost my youth to suffering, an unadulterated and untiring account of what I heard and saw for myself, whatever I knew or could remember.