In the movie Big Fat Liar, Jason Shepherd, the main character, was not unlike a certain author who became very skillful at lying to friends and family to avoid responsibilities at school and at home. The movie’s opening scenes make clear that Jason is quite good at this—he’s got everyone from his principal to his parents believing his innocent and touching lies.
Meanwhile, he gets away with murder. Jason’s always ready with a great reason why he’s late, why his paper was not turned in on time, or why he can’t be with his family. Jason (played by Frankie Muniz) leverages his baby face, his brains, and his bravado to construct an elaborate network of fabrications. He has an uncanny way of getting people to support his pathological personality.
The first turning point in the film happens when Jason gets caught lying to his parents about a writing assignment. After an uncomfortable closed-door meeting with the principal and his parents, he’s given one final chance to redeem himself by completing the original assignment and handing it in the next day. Seeking to earn back his parents’ trust, Jason proudly completes his class paper called “Big Fat Liar.”
The next morning Jason wakes up, looks at his watch and realizes that he’s late for school as usual. Only this time he has to get his paper in on time—a paper that he actually did the work on himself! Scrambling to school on his skateboard, Jason doesn’t see a black limousine approach on his left, and he gets nicked. Although he’s unhurt, Jason milks the accident to bum a ride to school from unscrupulous and self-centered Hollywood producer Marty Wolf.
While he’s getting a lift, Jason tells the producer his story—getting caught for fibbing and the makeup assignment that he’s written as part of his assignment. True to his character, Marty tells Jason how he, too, would have lied his way out of trouble. He punctuates their encounter by making the statement, “The truth is overrated, kid.”
Jason arrives at school barely on time. After he parts company with the Hollywood producer, Jason discovers that his paper, the one he entitled “Big Fat Liar,” is no longer in his notebook. It’s missing! His untrusting and suspicious teacher listens as Jason details the truth about getting knocked off his skateboard by a black limousine and then his chance encounter with a Hollywood movie producer. Perhaps his paper got left back in the limousine, he says, which sounds preposterous to the teacher, of course, and to his parents when they hear the latest cockamamie story from their son. Since no adults in Jason’s life believe that he lost his paper, Jason is consigned to summer school, a fate worse than death for any teenager.
You’ll never guess what happens a few months later. It seems that word gets out that Hollywood powermeister Marty Wolf plans to produce a smash hit movie called Big Fat Liar. When Jason gets wind of this, he sets into motion a last-ditch effort to save his credibility and set the record straight. He meets with the big-time producer (only in Hollywood would a school kid get an audience with a moviemaker, right?) and asks the producer to call his dad and tell him that he was telling the truth.
When the Wolfman blows the kid off, however, phase 2 is hatched. The biggest laughs in the movie come from a high-tech campaign of humiliation against the ruthless producer, a process designed to bring the cruel movie mogul to his knees and force him to come clean. Ingeniously, Jason and his sidekick Kaylee (played by Amanda Bynes) steal Wolf’s PDA (personal digital assistant), which holds all the information they need to make this producer’s life miserable.
Wolfman’s schedule, they learn, calls for a swim every day at the same time. Jason comes up with the perfect prank to pull on their unsuspecting victim.
The takedown is launched right on time when Jason and Kaylee sneak into the backyard of the producer’s mansion. Jason pulls out two huge bottles out of his backpack—bottles with labels reading “Blue Dye #34.” With a smirk on his face, Jason dumps the contents into the producer’s pool moments before Marty Wolf, clad in his swimsuit and dancing to Duran Duran’s famous song “Hungry Like the Wolf,” steps outside and plunges into the water.
The camera frame pans over to the pool’s edge, where we see the clueless producer swimming laps, blissfully unaware that his epidermis is becoming beautifully blue. Meanwhile, Jason and Kaylee set traps inside the house.
The next time we see “Bluto” is when he exits the pool. The dye has done its deed—the cold-blooded cutthroat has morphed into one of those blue men from a Las Vegas show. We’re talking a barbarous blue bozo. The directors of the film milk this moment by delaying the Wolfman’s surprise until the last possible moment—a mirror scene that results in a primal scream heard from Malibu to Monrovia. Aah … the sweet taste of revenge. (Don’t be getting any crazy ideas now.)
Jason’s revenge is a perfect illustration of baptism. Yes, I said baptism. The original meaning of this Greek word is to dip or immerse something. The outcome of baptizing something is that the object being dipped or baptized is changed. For example, white cloth can be “baptized” in red dye, which changes it into red cloth. Thus Marty Wolf was baptized into the blue color because he soaked in the dye long enough for his skin to take on the character of the blue dye. The point of baptism is that you identify with whatever you soak in.
In a similar fashion, your mind takes on the character or colors of whatever you are soaking in. When you place your life in the mirror, what’s reflected back tells you what color dye your brain is soaking in. Let me show you how this works from my own life.
I was soaking my mind in the wrong stuff.
You already know about how I worked weekends in a liquor store during my high-school years. That experience whetted, in a bad way, my budding appetite for sexual things. To use my baptism analogy, I dipped my mind right into the pages of those pornographic magazines. Thank God I worked there only one day a week, but the imprints upon my mind were powerful. I remember taking one of those girlie magazines home and hiding it underneath my mattress. Before showering, I would dip my mind into those tantalizing pictures and then act out my mental fantasy in the shower. I am not proud of this, but my story illustrates how looking at pictures of nude women led to wrong actions. I was soaking my mind in the wrong stuff.
My practice of looking at pictures and fantasizing about those images led to the practice of looking at real-live girls and girlfriends and fantasizing about them. I needed more flavor—more chili pepper for my marinade—and that meant mentally undressing nearly every girl I saw. I certainly wasn’t looking at them as individuals or as God’s precious diamonds, but as sex objects to be woven into my sick and sinful mind reels. The worst part was that I inherited my mom’s dark island skin, which attracted unsuspecting girls my way. If you can believe this, my best man at my wedding toasted me and my bride by boasting that “Kenny had all these girls in high school.” On my wedding day! (Thanks a lot, Brad.)
When I would go out on dates, let’s just say I was a fast mover. I didn’t really care about anything else but connecting physically and satisfying my sexual curiosity. Fortunately, a lot of the girls I dated had more character than me and didn’t allow me to take advantage of them (how sad is that!). Like I said, in my BC days (before Christ), I was left to fend for myself and was totally unconnected to anything spiritually healthy. Those poor girls had no idea how my fertile mind put them in uncomfortable situations that no girl should ever have to endure.
The Bible clearly teaches that you are what you think, that a young man will take on the characteristics and identity of whatever occupies the majority of his thoughts.
Now contrast this with the Kenny who committed himself to Jesus on a summer night before entering UCLA. When I handed over control of my life to Jesus Christ, the old recipe book—along with the sexy magazines under my bed, the Dirty Word Scrabble, and the dark music dedicated to the devil—got thrown out. (Actually, my brother had me torch them in our Weber grill). That commitment turned out to be the main ingredient of my personal marinade: from then on, I immersed my brain in what the Bible taught. My mental pool, which was saturated with the sexy dye of porn and mental fantasy, was slowly drained and replaced with the pure water of Christ’s living words. After soaking my mind in the Word of God, I had the necessary ingredients to begin sharing my faith in Christ with others, which would eventually lead to opportunities to help thousands of men every year around the globe.
Two Kennys, two marinades, two very different directions—but one undeniable fact: the content of my mind created my character. This concept isn’t hard to grasp when you look at the choices awaiting you in life. The world wants you to mentally focus on making money and buying toys like pickup trucks and powerboats. Guys who do this become materialists. Dudes always thinking about how to impress others or be accepted by them have the distinctive coloring of narcissists—let’s stop talking about you and talk about me. Guys who constantly conceive new ways of satisfying their physical or sensual appetites are known in the dictionary as hedonists. (And if you’re waiting for the Chicago Cubs to play in the World Series, you could be accused of being a masochist.)
Kidding aside, the Bible clearly teaches that you are what you think, that a young man will take on the characteristics and identity of whatever occupies the majority of his thoughts. Scripture says it best: “As water reflects your face, so your mind shows what kind of person you are” (Proverbs 27:19, NCV).
So what are you? Really?
A killer statement I have never forgotten was when I heard a guy on the radio quote Samuel Smiles, a writer from the 1800s: “Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.” Did you know that the journey of a thought has such power? If the first truth I need to know about my mind is that I am what I think, then the second truth I have to understand is that I do what I think.
Consider Jim’s thoughts and the destiny he forged for himself.
“Kenny, Michelle was too irresistible, and I blew it last night.” He made this statement in my office.
“Tell me exactly what you mean by that,” I inquired, smiling so Jim would relax.
“I mean that when we were alone, something inside took over. I could not fight it, so I pushed the boundaries. There was no way out, dude.”
I thought for a moment. “So let me ask you another question. Before that moment, how much were you thinking about doing what you eventually did with her? Was it just the last few days? Or was it every day for the last few weeks—or even months?”
Looking straight at the ground, Jim whispered, “Since spring break seven months ago.”
Hello!
When I speak at colleges to the guys, I tell them flat-out: there is no such thing as an irresistible temptation. The truth is that Jim went down a mental pathway way in advance of his sin, building to a bunch of sexual scenarios with Michelle long before he actually did anything. His tempting thoughts broke up the ground of his mind, then they spread fertilizer on it, watered it, and weakened his will to the point where he was cooked no matter what he did. It was just like a dad or mom saying, “Son, you can do anything if you put your mind to it.” That old platitude is true for the good and for the bad. If you put your mind to work on an issue, stand back and watch what happens—because it will happen. Car salesmen know this. They can spot anxious customers from the way they walk on to the lot. Their body language is saying, I’ve just got to have that hot car!
The Bible issues a code red for the threat that sinful thoughts pose to us guys. Several warnings can be found in the book of Proverbs, including this one: “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life” (Proverbs 4:23, NCV).
The bottom line is this: your mind is a force that God says will determine your destiny.
God warns us because He knows how much horsepower he’s built into that amazing engine between your ears. When you step on the gas, it goes! Your mind:
• is one hundred billion neurons strong
• can store one hundred trillion facts
• can make two hundred separate calculations per second
• can make fifteen thousand separate decisions to coordinate the function of the human body
The bottom line is this: your mind is a force that God says will determine your destiny.
Perhaps you’re thinking, Okay, Kenny. I get it. How do I get God’s mind then? The Bible has a term for this: it’s called meditation. Just like when I marinate my world-famous ribs by putting them in a tasty blend of sauces, God says you need to do the same thing by bathing your mind in His Word. He’s very clear on this. Psalm 119:23 says, “Your servant will meditate on your decrees.”
God doesn’t say His servants might meditate on His decrees when it works into their schedules. Instead what He’s saying is that He wants us to think deeply and continuously on His Word, its meaning for us, and how to integrate it into our daily lives.
The secret of every successful Christian man whom I have known has been his love affair with God’s Word.
Just like Monty Wolf from Big Fat Liar takes on the character of blue after soaking in the pool, so the man who immerses himself in God’s Word takes on the very character of God; he will be transformed into a new person. That is one of the things I never have to worry about when it comes to leading men, because I know that if they are committed to the study and thoughtful observance of God’s Word, they will change. This is the single most important discipline that you’ll ever develop in your walk with God. In fact, God equates studying His Word to hanging out with Him:
How well God must like you—
you don’t hang out at Sin Saloon,
you don’t slink along Dead-End Road,
you don’t go to Smart-Mouth College.
Instead you thrill to GOD’s Word,
you chew on Scripture day and night.
(Psalm 1:1-2, MSG)
A choice to be in God’s Word is a choice to hang out with God. Only a fool would pass on that one! God’s young man should be all over that, and you should understand by now the value of marinating your mind in Scripture. The secret of every successful Christian man whom I have known has been his love affair with God’s Word. Some of the great men of the Bible had this to say about God’s Word:
Job
I have not departed from the commands of his lips;
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. (Job 23:12)
David
The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.…
They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. (Psalm 19:7-8,10-11)
Peter
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)
Jesus
Your word is truth. (John 17:17)
When I talk to younger guys about how much or how little time they spend in God’s Word, their universal response is, “I don’t have time.” They then walk me through a laundry list of everything that they have to get done in a day, from school and sports and part-time work to studying so they can keep their grades up. When I hear stuff like this, I give them the “face.” It’s an unmistakable look that communicates: Who do you think I am? Shovel that stuff in someone else’s lap, but not in mine. When a guy says to me that he doesn’t have time for God’s Word, he’s not stating a fact, he’s stating a priority. I’m black and white on this one.
A busy young man named Alan used to say the same thing to me. When I look at all the things he does, I can understand why. He’s the starting point guard on his college team, he’s involved with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, he keeps an A average in school, and he works part time at the YMCA in the recreation department. He’s up early to take morning classes so he can practice basketball in the afternoon, and he must study for hours after dinner. We’re talking full days.
Alan was sitting in an audience full of high-school and college athletes when I asked everybody to give me feedback on two polar-opposite questions:
1. What keeps you out of God’s Word?
2. What keeps you in God’s Word?
Alan raised his hand, and I called on him. He dove in and stated that God’s Word wasn’t always a priority for him, but as he entered his senior year of high school, he was confronted with several big decisions. He wanted God to guide his actions, so he read his Bible for answers. He said he learned this from his father.
When a guy says to me that he doesn’t have time for God’s Word, he’s not stating a fact, he’s stating a priority.
“My consistency in reading the Bible was real shaky until I asked my dad what his secret was,” Alan said.
“What did he say?” I asked on behalf of everyone in the room.
“He said that about ten years ago, he decided to put God in his Day-Timer and make Him his first appointment of the day. In other words, Dad wanted to treat Christ the same way he treated everybody else on his calendar—like a real person. That hit me hard.”
“So what did you do?” I followed.
“Simple. I decided Jesus would have my first appointment of my day too. It’s from 7:00 to 7:30 a.m. downstairs in the living room. I read my Bible next to the window so I can see the mountains.”
“Why there?”
“It’s quiet, and I know there will be no interruptions.”
Two very cool things about his answers are worth your consideration. First, he took Jesus very personally. I love that. To Alan, Jesus became a real person who deserved his time, not an abstract concept he could blow off. Second, he knew he needed structure and quiet. Setting aside a time and a place made a statement, and to Alan, his time with God was just as important to his walk as practicing free throws was for his basketball game. He mastered the basic disciplines so that he could excel.
To Alan, Jesus became a real person who deserved his time, not an abstract concept he could blow off.
You can’t move toward greatness in anything until you master the fundamentals. As God’s young man, you can’t move on to greater commitment, depth, and service until you have mastered a regular time with God.
A time and a place is all that is required to meet with the living God. When Moses had his hands full while leading one million people out of Egypt, finding a time and a place to meet with God was tough. But God assigned such a high value to their times together that He carved out a time and place for Moses to have an uninterrupted conversation and dialogue. God called it the Tent of Meeting. It was in this special place that God said, “There I will meet you and speak to you” (Exodus 29:42).
My tent of meeting is in my office—door closed—from 8:15 to 9:00 a.m. Your tent of meeting can be anywhere. You may already have a regular place in your daily flow that lends itself to a good meeting with God, but it really doesn’t matter when or where—just establish a place and a time and keep it. Every young man striving to be God’s man stores up a rich reward when he soaks in the Scripture. Listen to what God said to Moses’s successor Joshua in the midst of the hectic planning and preparation to cross the Jordan River:
Study this Book of the Law continually. Meditate on it day and night so you may be sure to obey all that is written in it. Only then will you succeed. (Joshua 1:8, NLT)
God told Joshua to do what was counterintuitive, given the circumstances. There are certainly plenty of demands upon the guy who has to organize, lead, and direct a million bodies across an active river. But God said to him that his success in this undertaking was contingent on his connection with God through His Word. Joshua needed to baptize his brain in the waters of Scripture before he took the plunge with the people. If Joshua thought hard about what God had to say in his Word (meditate), success would follow him.
What’s going to be your secret of success? God says both influence and affluence flow from thinking deeply and continuously on his Word. Can you handle that? Then you better be handling His Word daily.
One of the best ways to ensure that you are in God’s Word is by having what I call Red Zone Friends. In the next chapter we’re going to show you how your friendships will either help you to reach your goals to become God’s young man—or sabotage them.