It was 11:30 p.m. when I stepped off the plane and into an empty airport terminal in Charlotte, North Carolina. Towing my carry-on and laptop down a long corridor, I was beginning to feel the jet lag from a transcontinental flight. I looked up and saw the signs for baggage claim and rental cars, pointed myself in the right direction, and kept pumping my legs.
As I walked my mind replayed my journey to this point. It had begun at 4:30 that morning when I woke up from a dead sleep to get to the airport early. The terror level had been recently elevated by Homeland Security, so I knew the lines to pass through security would be a bear. I couldn’t cut it close by arriving just one hour before my early flight, so it had been a long day.
I walked outside the arrival terminal and spotted the rental car shuttle stop. A Hertz bus was waiting for me. During the ride to the rental car agency, my mind recounted the day’s events: eating two Egg McMuffins at the John Wayne Airport in Orange County, working on my computer during the flight to Dallas, eating Dickey’s barbecue at the DFW Airport, and sitting scrunched in the middle seat from Dallas to Charlotte while unsuccessfully trying to sleep. Now I had just one more leg of the journey to go—the drive from the airport to the hotel.
Getting the rental car turned out to be the easiest part of the trip—no lines at midnight! I loaded my bags in the back, jumped into the Ford Taurus, turned the ignition, and then it hit me—I had no clue how to get to the hotel from the airport. Argh! Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and lost is a bad combination for any coast-to-coast traveler. Then an idea popped into my frazzled head—I could call the hotel on my cell phone. Oops. My cell phone battery was dead, and I had left my car charger back in Southern California. What next? Then I saw just what I needed: a little black box protruding out of the floorboard.
It was a Global Positioning System (GPS), waiting to save me from a total meltdown. “Thank You, Jesus!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. If you’re wondering why I wet my pants with excitement, then you probably aren’t aware of the beauty of this wonderful technology—especially when you’re a lost man who hates to ask for directions.
For me, the lyric from that old-time hymn, “Amazing Grace”—“I once was lost but now am found”—is the essence of GPS satellite technology, which was designed by the U.S. military for tracking enemy movements. What happens is that a transponder signals its position to various satellites circling the earth, and through complex triangulation, pinpoints anything in the world to within a few feet or so.
Talk about an answer to prayer. With this onboard GPS system, all I had to do was enter the name of my hotel and type in Charlotte, NC, on a digital keypad, and my GPS system—named NeverLost—calculated the shortest route in nanoseconds. As I left the airport that evening, it was like having a personal assistant sitting next to me, letting me know what exit to take, what my next turn would be, and when I would arrive at my destination. All I had to do was listen to it and glance at the visual display on the screen every now and then.
During my drive, I heard the woman’s recorded voice say, “Proceed to the next stop light and turn left in point five miles.” When I arrived at that stoplight, a little bell announced the next direction: “Left turn approaching.” The friendly voice—I named her Caroline—knew exactly where I was and where I needed to go.
Can you imagine what would happen if, during my trek to the hotel, I switched off the GPS? Do you think I would have been able to navigate the streets of Charlotte without a map or directions that night? Of course not. I needed to hear Caroline’s voice.
That night I would have been an idiot not to depend on this global positioning system to take me to my ultimate destination. In a similar fashion I see huge mistakes being made out there by young men attempting to move forward in their faith without using the spiritual GPS that God implanted in them at salvation. They leave their driveways and burn rubber for God, ready to make their mark, but they forget they could get there quicker and with less frustration if they simply remembered to engage the friendly voice of the Holy Spirit.
Most of the young men I know possess a foggy understanding of the person, presence, and purpose of the Holy Spirit in their lives. If you are part of this crowd, don’t worry about it. Most guys I counsel have not engaged the ministry of the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, and all He can do for them. Perhaps you’re unaware that Jesus described His character and ministry with such words as counselor, comforter, helper, spirit of truth, and guide. The Holy Spirit is ready and willing to speak the right direction in your mind. All you have to do is let Him do this, and when that happens, He will guide you through every temptation and help you avoid many of the traps others fall into.
It was like the first time I tried snowboarding. For several years, ever since I saw the X Games on ESPN, I wanted to try snowboarding. I couldn’t wait to experience the speed and freedom of carving turns in fresh powder. So I took Cara and Ryan with me to Snow Summit, a ski area a couple of hours from Los Angeles, to give this sport a try. I figured that after taking a beginner class, we would be shredding the slopes in no time.
The Holy Spirit is ready and willing to speak the right direction in your mind. All you have to do is let Him do this.
When we arrived at Snow Summit, we joined hundreds of other folks duded up in brand-new snow gear and waiting in line to rent equipment. Then we trudged out to the bunny hill for our first day of snowboarding, which, as I recall, was run after run of falling, getting up, and falling again—all in about a hundred yards of hill. I remember thinking, Whatever happened to carving freely in the powder? That dream was shattered as the falls and frustration mounted.
We took a break for lunch, followed by a couple of more runs before our afternoon lesson. When I found Ryan struggling to get up after yet another tumble, he wasn’t so sure a clean run would ever happen. “This isn’t very fun, Dad,” he said.
“I told you guys it wouldn’t be easy the first day out.”
Cara added her two cents. “My arms are all bruised, Daddy, from falling,” she whined.
“This is part of learning something new,” I chirped. “You just gotta keep at it. Remember what I say about training in soccer. Practice—”
My kids finished the sentence. “—under pressure over time creates confidence,” they chimed in by rote.
“Right. Remember that. I know it’s hard getting the hang of this snowboarding thing, but we’ll get it.”
Ryan sought more assurance. “How long will it take?” he wondered.
“I don’t think it will be that long, because I’m actually starting to get this.”
When you risk changing for Him, the change always takes you to the next level.
That was a statement of optimism, not fact. The reality was that I had no clue when we would turn a corner, but sure enough, after a few more runs, all of us were staying up on our boards and making clean runs down the bunny slope. We even felt confident enough to take the main lift and try an intermediate run later that afternoon. Today we’re solid snowboarders who love getting into the half-pipe, and that day on the bunny slope is a distant memory. What happened is that we tried something we didn’t know how to do and improved ourselves.
For God’s young man, trusting that the Holy Spirit will be there to guide you and counsel you is kind of like taking that first run down the bunny slope. It’s a risk because you’re practically guaranteed to fall. But one thing I’ve learned about being God’s young man is that when you risk changing for Him, the change always takes you to the next level. Spiritually speaking, you’ll go from the bunny slopes to carving some serious powder in the back bowls.
Sure, learning about the Holy Spirit may be new to you, but my advice is to risk getting to know Him and keep at it.
The whole issue of getting to know the Holy Spirit is about leadership. Jesus’s men experienced the Master’s leadership for three full years, a time when they came to rely on His physical presence, voice, and example. Yet the Gospels tell us that when Jesus talked about leaving to go back to the Father, the disciples felt like they would be left floating in a boat without oars or a rudder. They had been so used to seeing, feeling, and talking to Jesus that the thought of all that going away inspired a fear of being spiritually abandoned. Knowing this, Jesus reassured the disciples by telling them how there would be a transfer of leadership from outside of them (through His physical presence) to an internal presence that would be directly connected to Him and the Father. This is how Christ said it:
If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. (John 14:15-18)
This concept of Jesus’s taking a new form in the person of the Holy Spirit and living inside them was new—extremely new. So later, in the same conversation with the disciples, He tried a new angle to consider. He added more specifics about the continuing connection that He would have through the indwelling GPS system of the Holy Spirit:
But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you. (John 16:13-15)
Jesus must have thought, “All righty, then. That ought to do it.” The disciples, on the other hand, responded by saying to one another, “We don’t understand what he is saying” (John 16:18). Jesus did not expect them to fully understand the implications of this transition, but He laid the groundwork for what Peter and the rest of the disciples would later need as leaders of the early church.
Most young men, whether they’ve been attending church their whole life or are new in the faith, comprehend the importance of reading and applying God’s Word, the importance of serving others, and the importance of connecting with other believers. Very few, however, pursue a relationship with the Holy Spirit on a day-by-day and moment-by-moment basis the way Jesus described.
If you leave the Holy Spirit untapped and unused, however, God is deeply disappointed, because He knows that disowning the Holy Spirit can lead to disobedience.
How would you characterize your relationship with the Holy Spirit? Are you letting His voice guide and direct you on the issues you face daily? God has spelled out exactly how He wants to use the Holy Spirit in your life and how you, as God’s young man, need to start working with Him. Like any relationship, the first step is to learn more about Him so that you can partner more closely. And what a great partner He is! The Holy Spirit can:
• change the way you feel about doing God’s will (see Ezekiel 36:26-27)
• remind you of exactly what Jesus wants you to do (see John 14:26)
• help you discern truth from lies so you can make better choices (see John 16:13)
• give you boldness in talking to others about God (see Acts 1:8)
• free you from guilt (see Romans 8:1)
• make your thinking more consistent with God’s (see Romans 8:5-8)
• turn you away from evil behaviors (see Romans 8:13)
• remind you of your identity as a son of God (see Romans 8:16)
• give you some spiritual gifts to use for God right now (see 1 Corinthians 12:11)
• provide you with more victories over the dark side (see Galatians 5:16)
Like the NeverLost GPS system in my rental car, the Holy Spirit has an awesome capacity to help you get where you want to go, but you have to take a step to embrace Him and listen to Him. When you were saved, God installed the Holy Spirit in you for a purpose—to eliminate the need for you to navigate your way through life by listening to the unfriendly voices of the dark side—the devil and the world.
When you reach out to the Holy Spirit and give total control of your body and mind to His control, you will experience a new awareness of God’s power. If you leave the Holy Spirit untapped and unused, however, God is deeply disappointed, because He knows that disowning the Holy Spirit can lead to disobedience. Check out this Scripture:
Do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:30, NLT)
In other words, make God smile by working together with the Holy Spirit.
I roomed with Corey, a great guy, during my freshman year at UCLA. We met at freshmen orientation during the summer, and since we were both from the San Francisco Bay Area and had some acquaintances in common (we attended rival high schools), we thought that rooming with each other would be better than rooming with a total stranger. So there we were, sharing a tiny room in Hedrick Hall.
Corey did everything with gusto—at school and after school. But the Corey I knew sober and the Corey I knew under the influence were two totally different people. For instance:
• The sober Corey didn’t talk much. The sauced—or well-tanked—Corey talked a ton.
• The sober Corey didn’t share his feelings very often. The sauced Corey would hug me and say, “I love you, Kenny.”
• The sober Corey was reserved and serious. The sauced Corey was engaging and outgoing.
• The sober Corey got up at the crack of dawn and was off to class. The sauced Corey slept all day the next day.
• The sober Corey never sang in public. The sauced Corey was the life of any karaoke party.
When you are under the influence of alcohol, or any other substance, you surrender control of your actions to the influence of whatever you swallowed, smoked, or injected. Consequently, your physical and cognitive abilities become impaired, and your actions take on a new, self-destructive character.
When God’s young man yields total control to the influence of the Holy Spirit, his life will produce actions consistent with God’s ways.
In the following scripture, the apostle Paul took the negative picture of going under the influence and turned it into a positive spiritual metaphor for our relationship with the Holy Spirit. He advised us to take a good, long swallow of the good stuff:
Don’t drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:18-20, MSG)
When God’s young man yields total control to the influence of the Holy Spirit, his life will produce actions consistent with God’s ways. Notice the passage above is not a suggestion; it’s a command, an imperative, an order. Drink the Spirit of God! Drink and watch your actions change. Go for it. Be different. Be a new man for God:
So I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just the opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants.… These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict.…
But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:16-17, 22-23, NLT)
So many young men ask me, how can I know when I’m living under the control of the Holy Spirit? The answer is simple: when you’re consistently saying no to the wrong desires and saying yes to God’s desires for your life. That’s how God’s Word says you’ll know. That’s why when I speak to young men, I tell them to practice saying no to themselves in ways that honor God and to practice saying yes to everything that pleases Him.
In real life, this means saying:
• no to masturbation
• yes to prayer over your temptation
• no to porn
• yes to accountability
• no to skipping Bible study
• yes to fellowship
• no to impressing people
• yes to pleasing God alone
• no to indulging your mind in fantasy
• yes to memorizing God’s Word
• no to keeping secrets
• yes to confession
• no to your own agenda
• yes to ministry in others’ lives
Say yes to the Holy Spirit right now and every day. You do that by simply talking to God and asking him to fill you with the Holy Spirit. Activate the GPS (God’s Powerful Spirit) that’s in you right now by praying a simple prayer like this one:
Holy Spirit, thank You for living in me so that You can be my guide. I need to rely on You more. I want You to control my life, not me. I want You to show me the choices I need to make, not me. I am sorry for taking over control when I shouldn’t. Take control of me right now. Lead me, guide me, speak to me, and fill me with Your presence. Open my eyes to God’s plan and give me the power to choose it quickly. Thank You for Your continued presence in my life. Thank You for taking control. I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
You will recognize the Holy Spirit’s clear voice the next time you have to make a choice that matters to God. Some decisions don’t require His leading, like what toppings to order on your next deep-dish pizza. Others, like deciding to make time to read God’s Word or not being a sexual slave in body or mind, definitely matters to God.
Just remember that listening to the Holy Spirit under life’s pressure builds confidence over time. One direction the Holy Spirit will often lead you toward is prayer, which is the subject of the next chapter.