EVERY YOUNG MAN’S TRUTH(Your Personal Journey into God’s Word)
This week’s reading assignment:
chapters 7–8 in Every Young Man, God’s Man
The “dark side” was made famous by the Star Wars trilogies and epitomized by the infamous character Darth Vader. While he and the other Star Wars characters are thoroughly the stuff of Hollywood, the saga’s core theme reflects a biblical reality, which is this: every man has a dark side, something pulling him to do the wrong thing. This force inside him wages war against his noblest intentions.
—from chapter 7 in Every Young Man, God’s Man
EVERY YOUNG MAN’S TRUTHThe dark side keeps pulling at you, and it’s tough to say no. Even the great apostle Paul felt it as a brutal inner battle. You’ve been there, right? Feeling the power of temptation, wanting to do right but doing wrong instead? Then the guilt. Then the tendency to despair.
But don’t give up! Scripture tells you your Lord has already won the war with sin. He calls you to live in the power of His ultimate victory. It’s true that willpower can only carry you so far. At some point in your battles you must give up and let Christ carry you through. Call upon Him; as Paul knew, He is ready for the rescue.
I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. (Romans 7:18-25, MSG)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”
In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:20-22)
1. The apostle Paul sometimes felt like a prisoner of the law of sin. When do you feel that way?
2. According to 1 Corinthians 10:13, what is your hope when you feel seized by temptation?
3. What does it mean for you, personally, to “flee the evil desires of youth”?
4. What is your defense plan for the next time serious temptation hits? How have you prepared your heart in advance?
EVERY YOUNG MAN’S CHOICE
This dark side phenomenon makes every man a potential double agent—capable of doing the very worst even when he desires the very best. That’s why the Bible makes it clear that the enemy you really need to be watching out for is you.
As I work with younger men, I’ve seen how important it is to bottle up the Enemy at various hot gates—or what I call spiritual strongholds—so that larger battles don’t have to be fought. How you defend those hot gates determines how the next ten to fifteen years will play out. The Bible warns you to position your forces “so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13).
5. Review the five “have you ever” examples of ways the dark side can make you a double agent. What is your own best example?
6. How are you positioning your forces to defend the spiritual hot gates in your life? Rate your battle position: strong or weak?
7. Take a moment to read Ephesians 6:10-18. List the armor and weapons you’ll need to defend yourself against dark side attacks. Which pieces do you need to rely on more when temptation hits?
EVERY YOUNG MAN’S WALK You may know my friend. His name is Paul—the apostle. Nearly two thousand years ago, he put into words how everyone feels when the dark side takes over our lives and our actions. Paul labeled this our “sin nature,” and the previous description is found in Romans 7:18-20 (MSG). It’s good to know we are in good company when it comes to this battle because we all are at war with our dark side.
The dark side doesn’t have to influence your actions, though. You can beat him at his own game by committing to a campaign of exposing him constantly. You do that by figuring you have two types of people living in one body, and your Spirit-filled nature has to suppress the dark side—or else.
8. Do you ever feel like the apostle Paul did when facing temptation? Check out Romans 7:25-8:14. How can this passage point you to the way out?
9. Kenny says that suppressing the dark side involves verbally confronting it. What verbal-confrontation phrase would work best for you. Write it down.
10. Why is the hot gate of sexual fantasizing such an important one to defend? What usually happens after your thoughts give in?
11. In quietness, review what you have written and learned in this week’s study. If further thoughts or prayer requests come to your mind and heart, you may want to write them down.
12. What for you was the most meaningful concept or truth in this week’s study? How would you talk this over with God? Write down your response as a prayer to Him. What do you believe God wants you to do in response to this week’s study?
EVERY YOUNG MAN’S TALKKey Highlights from the Book for Reading Aloud and Discussing
In your journey with God, I know you feel the dark side lurking like a shark beneath the surface of your life. The dark side inconspicuously swims in the waters of your character, hiding in your thoughts and dropping ideas into your mind that run counter to God’s plan. The dark side contradicts what constitutes sin by muddying the waters so you cannot make out the clear instruction of God’s Word. Your dark side is patient until it’s time to strike.
Josh just smiled and shook his head—letting Austin feel the stupidity of his little outburst.
“You’re right,” Josh replied after a long pause. “You are not me, and I am not your dad. But I am your brother—in Christ. I know you don’t want to hear that right now because you can’t be doing what you’re doing with Jessica and still be tight with me or God. I don’t care if you push me away, avoid me, or never see me again. But God can’t go from being a big part of your life to a small part unless you’re making space for the wrong things.”
Each mental assault takes it toll and invests Satan with more power so that after a while temptation will feel irresistible. To take a cue from Kevin’s story: each mental happy meal he indulged in brought the Enemy’s victory closer and closer.
Hot gates must be places where you resist and make your stand—not yield.
Discussion Questions
An opening question: Which parts of these chapters were most helpful or encouraging to you? Why?
A. Talk about some of the shark bites you’ve suffered in the past. What have you learned so far about avoiding shark-infested waters?
B. What are some of the ways Josh was being a good brother to Austin? Do you see any of these brotherly ways happening in your group? Talk it over.
C. Look at the eleven guys who yield at the hot gates (starting with Dave, Chris, and so on). For them, temptation feels irresistible. What specific brotherly advice would you give to each of these guys in their particular struggles?
D. Kenny basically says to talk to yourself when tempted. What kinds of things are you supposed to say?
E. According to Kenny: “What rocks a young guy’s world is not knowing what to do when the shot clock on his temptation ticker is winding down.” So what are you supposed to do as you watch that clock—and panic sets in?
F. We can’t defend a hot gate without the Holy Spirit’s power and direction. Review the four ways of cooperating with the Spirit (under the subhead “Defending a Hot Gate”). Then pray for one another about your areas of noncooperation!