Of all the people for me to run into tonight. I shake my head as I continue to peruse the candy selection. I try to subtly glance behind me, but my efforts are wasted when I look up and my gaze instantly connects with Will. A subtle blush floods his cheeks, but he doesn’t look away. My chest tightens as blood pumps furiously to my rapidly beating heart. Tingles spread down my body as longing pulses deep in my core.
God, the look on that man’s face is pure sex. A quick flash of guilt fills his eyes and then he finally breaks our connection.
And there it is.
The reason I can’t keep doing this same old dance with him.
He always pulls away.
I want a man who will fight for me. How hard is that to find? The answer: apparently impossible. I blame fairy tales. They filled our little girl minds with the belief the prince will go door to door just to find the one woman who fits the glass slipper. But that’s not real life. Men don’t chase women. They just sit back and take the ones that are easy. Heaven forbid they have to actually put any effort into their relationships.
It’s some seriously passive bullshit that really irritates the crap out of me. I feel my temper rising and work to tamp it down. I’ve had to learn how to control my short fuse since it’s not appreciated in the journalism world. My tenacity is necessary, but patience is something else reporters need to have. They need to know when to dig and ask questions, but also when to keep their mouth shut so someone else will try to fill the silence. Several of my biggest stories have come from me being able to outlast a prolonged silence.
But that isn’t the case here with Will. I don’t even know what we’re doing. I look over at him and watch him fill a bento box with some candies. I wish I could outlast him, but the reality is Will scares the shit out of me. And that fear pulls me between wanting to run fast and far away from him, or attempting to fill the silence with my own rambling in the hopes he’ll finally take this—whatever this is—in a more serious direction.
I’ve never responded to a man the way I do with Will. And that’s terrifying because it means he has the ability to break me worse than any other man ever has. And I have no doubt that’s exactly what he’d do, if his constant hot and cold demeanor is any indication.
Despite my resolution that I can’t keep playing this back and forth with him, the moment I feel Will’s heat warm my back, my whole body lights up.
“I bought us a couple of things,” he whispers, his warm breath cascading down my neck.
A shiver slides across my body. His quick inhale tells me he noticed. I’m trying to remind myself why this is a bad idea, but then Will gently grazes my fingers with his own. He takes a step forward, his front pressing lightly against my back. My eyes fall closed as I absorb the most delicious sensation of having his big, strong body behind me. His head leans down and his nose rests against my hair.
“You smell fucking amazing.” The hoarseness of his tone sets my body on fire, and suddenly the only thought in my brain is that I have to get this man naked.
I desperately want to turn around and take his mouth with mine, but then I’m reminded of what happened on New Year’s Eve. I think I’ll die a little inside if I have to see that look in his eyes again, so instead, I fight my body’s desire and stay completely still. I soak in his warmth and the feeling of completeness that spreads through me.
There’s always been an invisible string tying Will and me together, but touching him, even just like this, takes it up a notch.
His lips press lightly right behind my ear, and I can’t prevent the low moan that releases from my throat. He matches it with his own groan in response and then whispers in my ear.
“I don’t want to fight this anymore.” He kisses my neck. “I want you, Gina.”
My heart soars at his words and relief fills my body. Oh God, the relief. I was seriously starting to think I was alone in this, but he really does feel it too. This undeniable connection is definitely mutual if his erection is any indication. I can feel his hardness pressing firmly against my back.
“Candace! Get back here.” A mother scolds her child near us, and I’m reminded we’re in the middle of a candy shop. Will must’ve realized the same thing, because he abruptly pulls away from me.
I turn around, a flirty smile on my face, prepared to suggest we grab a bite to eat and then head back to his hotel room, because I definitely don’t want our first time together to be within earshot of my nosy roommates. But when I look up at him, my smile falters.
“Will? What’s wrong?” He’s looking at the mother and daughter near us, the same ones who interrupted our moment, but he looks like he’s seen a ghost. His face is white, his eyes wide, and he seems to be completely frozen in place.
“Will?” I place my hand soothingly on his arm, but the second I make contact, he rips his arm away and looks at me with a look that is all too familiar. That look filled with pain like he’s haunted by something dark.
I don’t break eye contact with him. “What just happened? Just a minute ago, you were about to—”
“That was a mistake.”
He might as well have slapped me. Hurt and embarrassment fill me. My eyes sting with oncoming tears, but I refuse to let them fall. I will not let this man see me break.
I clench my jaw and nod my head slowly, buying myself a little time to make sure when I speak, my voice won’t crack from the emotion I’m fighting.
“You know what? You’re absolutely right. It was a mistake. One I will never make again.”
Without another word, I turn and walk out of Sugarfina, my head held high, while my heart falls lower with every step.
Will doesn’t follow.
As much as I want to hate him, the only thing I feel is a desperate need to understand what happened and what continues to keep him from actually giving us a shot. There’s a connection between us that for some reason is damn near impossible to sever. Even now, when I should be more determined than ever to never see or speak to him again, I still feel that connection. All I know is my heart wants him with a blinding loyalty that is frustrating and frankly undeserved.
Unfortunately, the heart wants what the heart wants. With the painful realization my heart has chosen a completely unattainable man to fall for, I get to my car and drive home, hoping someday I’ll finally be able to let him go.